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At tourist centers they give you lots of info about a town.
But one thing they'll never tell you is what their inhabitants are like.
Outgoing and enthusiastic, -sorry, dude-
Valencians always greet effusively,
even if you're not the one they were looking for.
THE PALLETER OF LOVE.
No, it's not Laura. Laura!
Shall we start or what!
-Vicent, does Conforama usually text you? -Will you stop talking nonsense?
-Come on.
Why, why is he your hero?
Because he preferred a Bourbon instead of a drunkard as king?
Exactly.
If we had had a Palleter,
we wouldn't have had a Bush.
Will this be Laura asking me to go on a date?
Once again, don't call it a date!
This is not Sex in the City!
Why don't you call her?
Come on, be a brave Palleter.
"Hi its Laura. Come 4 a beer at 7 at Negret?"
-Date!! -Date!!
I have a date with Laura...
Archie, please! Concentrate!
Sorry. Let's start over.
Cut.
-Why do we have to cut, dammit?
What if by having a beer she meant the three of us?
I mean, you, Laura and me.
Not Laura and me alone. Because at Viveros there were the three of us.
Don't give it that much of a thought. You can tell her I was busy.
***, Vicent, she has to like me. I can't look like a ***.
OK, cut. Laura will come in half an hour and I'm *** my pants.
Relax a little, cry baby!
Calm down or you won't get laid! You just have to be yourself.
-Yes, but... -Do you want some absinthe?
Look at these people! They are all Adonises!
I don't!
Laura is like you!
She sees the inner beauty.
But she's used to that open Valencian nature.
I have to act more off-going.
"On-going", for god's sake, "on-going".
Stop looking at her, you're wearing her out!
Remember when you asked me what were the negative Valencian stereotypes?
In a couple seconds you're up for a master class.
Hey "nano"!
-Long time no see! -What's up Toni?
Hey, we're having a party at my terrace tonight. -Really?
I've just closed a deal in Madrid that's just first-class, "nano".
Well, not just one. Two.
You know. Oh Sorry.
-I'm Toni. -Archibald. Pleased to meet you.
"Pleased to meet you"! Very polite! Where's he from?
I love him! OK, so you are both invited.
And if you want some blizzard, just let me know. OK?
Hey! Moca! No, no, no way! I'll be paying that.
I would just be as you are.
A lovable loon.
Lovable guys don't hook up!
Behold this new Valencian from Boston!
On with the show!
Hey! Just a second, we're coming!
I thought we were going to be alone without any fuss.
-Sorry. -Hi, my friends! What's up? Just partying a little?
Just give him an autograph and then he'll go away.
Hey! I've seen you on TV!
Thanks! The truth is I'm glad that my work...
-All right, I'm leaving. -No, honey, don't, I'll...
What are you doing in Valencia? I thought you worked in Madrid.
Yes, I work in both cities. In fact, I'm working on a project...
Honey, what's that cross-eyed director's name?
Is Coronado your real name?
I'm not Coronado. I'm Carles Alberola.
Art, Maniātics, Besos, Socarrats,
Autoindefinitis... Hey, wait! Wait!
Hey, I know were I've seen you!
I loved that scene with the handkerchief and Victoria Abril.
Lovely.
Lovely...
-Hi. How are you? -Fine, and you? -I'm fine too.
Thank you.
Thank you, Laura. I lost my wallet yesterday with all my money
and my papers. I haven't been able to renew my visa.
So now you're an illegal immigrant.
Aren't you, "happy carrot"?
I still think being called a four-eyed pig is worse for a girl.
Let's stop using childhood Secrets as taunts.
- in just our second... - Our second... what?
Archie, Archie...
Guess what I have in my left hand.
Where's the grasshopper?
Hey, I know you from the theater!
-It's him! -You don't mind, do you, "lovely"?
-You know, I'm kind of an actress too. -Really?
I've been to a couple auditions,
background actings... -Tell me about it, that's really interesting!
Hey, hey, Archie! Laura! What a coincidence!
This is not Coronado.
So, where's my Palleter?
Ah, so you're a couple!
They're so cute and hairy.
Hairy?
Do you know who are the cutest, hairiest couple of them all?
Who?
My big pair of balls!
My date with Laura was a disaster.
If three's a crowd
four's an awful lot. But I can't blame anyone but myself.
There's the Mediterranean nature,
and there's universal imbecility.
So you are both invited. And if you want some blizzard, just let me know.
Hey! Moca!
No, no, no way! I'll be paying that.
"Blizzard"?
Yeah, right. Come on, order one.
-I'll have some blizzard! -No! What are you doing?