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Berber: Hey, how ye doin?
Berber: Am Josh, and am the guy who takes you through the
night of the crazy times people go through
And the guys, oh! What a bunch of characters, what can ye say?
I'll be your host tonight, follow me...
Graeme: Berber's in the shower!! Berber what the f*ck are you doin?
Berber: I feel like a new man now...
Graeme: What you doing Berb....
Berber: Ach, you know, wan day in long enough
Craig: When was the last time you had a shower, Berber?
Berber: This morning...
Craig: Why....
Steven: What's goin on up here?
Berber: A don't know
Graeme: You don't want tae know, man
Steven: *Recoils* AWWWW, WIT!!
Steven: He's in a f*ckin shower
Craig: Berber, turn roon
Craig C: You're takin the ***!
Craig: A walked in n he was just stawnin soakin his baws Craig C: Wit the f*ck are you doin, ya idiot?
Graeme: So Phil-osiphical
Megan: Kin ye get oot, a need to pee...
Niall: Phil-osiphical?? :S
Graeme: Philosophical
Niall: A heard that word from down there
Berber: A should belong in there; the Louvre, the Paris museum...
Niall: Berber this gets worse n worse, you've no even got a towel...
Niall: That's ma dad's towel.
Berber: Compliments to guy himself Megan: Get oot!
Megan: Where's yer f*ckin clothes?
Craig: Berber, did ye pull back yer fore-skin n wash yer willy?
Megan: Where's yer clothes? Berber: Ye, where is ma clothes?
Craig: Berber, did ye wash yer willy when ye peeled back yer fore-skin?
Craig: Naw?
Berber: Where's ma clothes?
Gemma: You canny have been in a shower, yer hair's hardly wet. Get that to f*ck
Craig C: They're in the oven...
Craig: Hit him way the cane!
Graeme: Oh my God!
Toni: Why is he naked?
Graeme: He went in a shower
Graeme: Who stole ees clothes?? c'mon!
Graeme: That's just...
Graeme: well you would go in a shower, Berber, c'mon
Graeme: That's enough fae you, Megan
Niall: Don't sit down, get the f*ck up
Craig: Berber, Lindsey says she wants to see your ***
Megan: Go on, Berber!!
Niall: Is that a thong?
Graeme: Is that a pair a pants, man?
Craig: IS HE WEARIN Y-FRONTS?!?!?!
Graeme: Berber! Berber, you're the coolest guy I know now, man!
Graeme: Why's he wearing pants, man?
Stef: No even pants, like proper y-fronts that wee boys wear...
Graeme: Tell the camera what you're making...
Craig: Bacon 'n' Beans, Minestry of Defence-Style...
Craig: I'm workin for Panarama, this is what they're feeding our troops
Craig: £15-grand a year on this sh*te to die for yer country
Craig C: That is Pedigree's finest!
Graeme: Is it nice?
Craig: Here that's no that bad by the way
Craig: That tastes like bacon n beans
Toni: It is nice
Graeme: That isnay what it is though..
Kerri: Graeme
Toni: She said you're steemin
Graeme: Wit?!?
Kerri: EAT THIS!!!
Graeme: What is it?
Toni: *Screeches* Hi!
Kerri: A only meant to put a wee bit
Kerri: You can't even see it
Graeme: Are you jokin me?
Kerri: You can't even see it
Craig: Bring on the f*ckin chocolate cake and the chocolate sauce
Graeme: He wants desert...
Craig: Somebodys' done a crap!
Graeme: Are you eating that?
Graeme: MAN DOWN!! MAN DOWN!!
Niall: It tastes of nothing...
Berber: Big Craig over here, he's trying to convince everyone to eat that sh*t
Berber: Noo, he claims it's chocolate pudding or somethin...
Berber: ...but personally, I don't believe him...
Berber: ...do you beilieve him?
Berber: A hope not
John: Try that pudding, it's minted by the way!
Megan: Let me get bit aff yer face
Megan: Look at ma fingers
Graeme: Awww, you've been pokin yer *** again, 'int ye?
Niall: He's been in at somebody's ***
John: Aye! Shoulda went oot there like, goin try Stef's arsehole! It is brilliant, man!
Graeme: Awww! You just totally f*ckin, you totally shagged that wan!
Graeme: AAAYYY!!! Jobby stain!
Graeme: Have yees ever seen Matilda?
Graeme: Where the fat f*ckin teacher tries to get Matilda, naw, that wee fat bloke to eat the cake?
Craig: Bruce Bogtrotter
Craig: Do you think a look like Bruce Bogtrotter?
Toni: AYYEEEE!!! Ye doooo!
John: ...sweat and blood into this cake, and you shall not leave until you have comsumed the entire confectionary
Craig: He eats the first bit, he's just like that "hmmmm"
John: ...not bad...
John: ...my mom's is better...
Megan: *whispers* shut up!
Megan: *whispers* They're at the door...
whisper, whisper, whisper, ***, whisper
Craig: Film this 'cause am gonna walk up and actually punch him, right in the beak with this helmet on
Craig: It won't be sore...
Becca P: Don't you dare
Craig: It wilnay *he says putting down a shovel*
Craig: God! He's still up...
Graeme: He's a Transformer
Craig: Niall !!!!
Craig: Shovel !!!
Craig: Nooowwww !!!
Craig: Niall !!
Graeme: Lesbians!
Graeme: You are beans!
Megan: Can a just say something, look what you done to my hands
Graeme: That'll be ma ring, see a shouldney of worn it
Megan: Luk at that, a look as if 'ave got the clap
Megan: THE CLAP!!
Robbie: Beast!
Berber: Hey, Morris!
Berber: Sure a huvney got a pulse right now
Graeme: Yer David Blaine
Berber: A died about 20 minutes ago, man
Graeme: Berber's trying to down some beers...
Graeme: In the name of scientific experimentation, down that beer!
Berber: It's been a long time coming hasn't it, Morris?
Craig: Wait, wait, wait, pass this doon!
Graeme: Right, so Berber's experiment came to a head
Graeme: He was trying to finish his crate
Graeme: Dinay happen
Emma: Want a beer?
Graeme: Time of Death: 0230
Emma: Yuk...