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I STILL LIKE IKE
OFFICIAL POLLING PLACE
Hello, I'd like to vote
for president, governor,
and anything that will take money
away from our parks and libraries.
Eh, use machine number three.
Oh! I can't fit in the booth!
Use the double-wide.
Ooh! One of those
electronic voting dealies.
One vote for McCain.
Thank you.
No, I want to vote for Obama.
Two votes for McCain.
Come on.
It's time for a change!
Three votes for McCain.
No! No! No!
Six votes for President McCain.
Hey, I only meant one of
those votes for McCain.
This machine is rigged.
Must tell.
.
President McCain.
This doesn't happen
in America! Maybe Ohio!
But not in America!
I VOTED
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR
PART 19
UNTITLED ROBOT PARODY
Okay, all I need is a
Christmas gift for Lisa.
YOU FORGOT-ME-NOTS
THE LAST-MINUTE GIFT STORE
I don't have time to read all that.
Montreal Expos jersey.
Somber String.
Jacks, no ball.
And a Slunky
"IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING"
Oh, I wouldn't give these
to my worst enemy,
which happens to be Lisa.
Girls don't like trucks! Come
back when you're something else!
Perfect!
Merry Christmas, Dad.
We bought
you three more minutes of oxygen.
Oh, thank you, son! Can I play
with it outside? Can I?! Can I?!
Sure.
Hey, Lis, I think I see
one with your name on it.
I don't know how you could top last
year's gift: a box of your burps.
Yeah.
Here's your stocking stuffer.
Wow! A Malibu Stacey convertible!
Oh, Bart, an actual present.
That's right, Maggie.
It's a car.
Let's go to the
Pos-i-bots, transform!
Snooze!
Threeway!
Melody!
What?
Wait a minute.
We're missing Sex-Toy.
Where have you been?
Where haven't I been?
CHRISTMAS OCCURS
Hmm.
Is there something
different about the kitchen?
No! No! No!
NO.
Well, the toaster's
never lied to me before.
Nice planet.
Pos-i-bot, engage.
Battle commencing in
ten, nine, eight
Hey!
Hey, Homer.
How was your Christmas?
It was okay.
I got Seinfeld, Season 7.
Finally a boxing day
that lives up to its name.
Lisa! What's happening?!
Well, if I had to guess, I'd
say that two alien robot races,
who've been battling for centuries,
have chosen our planet as a site
for their ultimate confrontation.
It is a good planet to settle things on.
Stop it! Stop it! Look, you
have made the nacho machine cry.
Cool!
Carnage Destructicus, the moment
has arrived: our final battle.
Your final battle, Bestimus Mucho!
Just because you're mad at each other,
doesn't mean you have to destroy our town.
That does not compute.
Really?!
It computes a little.
What's this whole
intergalactic tiff about anyway?
You know I, I
I don't remember.
Neither do I.
Hmm.
Maybe the
non-transforma thing is right.
Thank you, human
grandmother, for pointing out
that it is futile to fight
if we do not know why.
And now that we are
not fighting each other,
we can team up to enslave your planet.
That's great! Because working
together, you can Oh
Okay, who's the idiot who
taught them what foosball was?
I thought they might enjoy it.
HOW TO GET AHEAD IN DEAD-VERTISING
CRAZY ETHEL'S DAY CARE CENTER
where your child learns to trust strangers
Okay, Maggie, we'll
be back in three hours.
Or longer if something
happens to us.
Maybe we shouldn't do this.
She doesn't know anyone here.
Look, sweetie, there's
a familiar face: Krusty!
Hey, hey, kids! Your old pal Krusty's
gonna teach you five new words:
Unlicensed use of my image.
All right, boys.
See those
Krustys nobody paid me for?
Sandblast them!
Entertain the troops? No way!
What have they ever done for me?!
Krusty, you made my daughter cry!
Hey, my intellectual property
rights were being infringed.
Do you know how that feels?
Do ya?! Huh?! Do ya?!
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
Oh! It's no use.
Mr.
Simpson, you have quite a
talent for killing celebrities.
Well I'm no drunk driving.
I'd like to introduce you
to some stereotypical ad men.
Simpson, we got a swell
little notion for you.
Did you know you can
put a dead celebrity
in a commercial and you don't
have to pay them a thing?
Oh, my God, you finally did it.
You mixed Buzz Cola with the
smooth, rich taste of lemon.
Unfortunately, there are certain
stars who won't do what we want.
What's their problem?
They're still alive.
And then we thought
"Who's good at killing celebrities?"
Me!
That's right.
Homer, would you be willing
to acquire some more, um
uh, accounts for us?
Well, you know,
it is awfully hot today.
Now I'm too cold.
QUICKSAND
EXTRA DEEP
NATIONAL AIR & SPACE MUSEUM
SALUTES NEIL AMSTRONG
GEORGE CLOONEY -BRAND-
NOVELITY VOMIT
(Now with extra Chunks)
PRINCE'S CHOICE
DROUGHT RESISTANT- GRASS SEED
COUNTRY-STYLE RAGU
IT'LL SEND YOU TO MARS
We can't just sit here while
they exploit our images!
Hey, John Wayne, have you heard about
stockswapper.
org's low, low transaction fees?
Sounds like quite a deal pilgrim!
I hate trans action fees!
Hey, George Washington, see
if you think this is funny!
It's the Springfield Wedding Chapel's
annual President's Day marriage-a-thon!!
That ad implies that Mr.
Lincoln
and I are betraying familiarities!
It's an outrage!
Yes, uh, an outrage
So, are we gonna sit
here flapping our jaws,
or are we gonna
do something about it?
Now wait just a gosh-darn minute here!
We can't go taking the
law into our own hands.
These are people with hopes
and dreams and-and, uh
Put a sock in it, mushmouth!
REGULAR HEAVEN
CELEBRITY HEAVEN
All we are saying is
"Let's eat some brains"!
- Great party, Homer!
- Murdering Kate
Winslet paid for that
chocolate fountain.
G- g-golda Meir!
Ah, you ripped me off.
See?
No, I didn't.
See!
You're gonna pay for what you done.
See!
I always thought I'd
die of hepatitis C.
Rip Taylor? You're not even dead!
Someone needs to check my apartment.
Let's get him!
Little Sister, is that
moustache comin' or goin'?
Well, your wife likes it.
You're all right, Goofy Grape.
People, please.
We're here to kill this jerk.
Before you kill me, I gotta know
what is the one true religion?
It's a mix of voodoo and Methodist.
Shouldn't have left the
key under the mat, suckers!
So what do you do for fun around here?
Well, tonight we've got a poker
tournament at the rec center.
Ooh! After you, Mr.
Pennyface.
Is your wife up here?
Well, uh, we have an understanding
IT'S THE GREAT PUPKIN, MILHOUSE
Good grief.
I like your witch costume, Lisa.
I'm not a witch.
I'm a Wiccan.
Why is it when a woman is confident
and powerful, they call her a witch?
- What did you say, Mom?
- Nothing.
I'm practicing my trombone.
So, what are you wearing to
the Halloween party, Milhouse?
I'm not going to the party.
I'm going
to the pumpkin patch to wait for
the Grand Pumpkin!
That means you kids have fun!
What's the Grand Pumpkin?
Every Halloween, the Grand Pumpkin visits
all the pumpkin patches in the world
and brings candy to
kids who truly believe!
Milhouse, for the last time, I
made that up to mess with you.
The Grand Pumpkin isn't real!
I appreciate you testing my faith,
Bart, but it's not necessary.
I believe in the Grand
Pumpkin, almighty gourd,
who was crustified over Pontius
Pie-plate, and ascended into oven.
He will come again to judge
the filling and the bread
Sigh.
You've all come to wait for
the Grand Pumpkin with me!
Who wants to sing pumpkin carols?
I've got a pumpkin carol for you!
You are such a stupid moron!
It makes people want to punch you!
The Grand Pumpkin's superga-ay!
Punch, punch, punch, punch, wedgie!
Your god is wrong!
Let's get to the Halloween party.
I want to hit the apple tank before
all the Granny Smiths are bobbed out.
Lis, you comin'?
Eh, I think I'll stay with Milhouse.
His glasses fog up when he cries.
More Granny Smiths for me.
Lisa, Lisa, wake up!
He's here!
What?
Your Grand Pumpkin is here?!
No.
I'm rehearsing what I'm
gonna say when he shows up.
He's here! He's here! He is here!
You owe me restitution!
If he sees us fighting,
he might not come.
Grand Pumpkin, I know you're real.
Why won't you show yourself?! Why?
Happy Halloween!
The Grand Pumpkin!
You are real!
That's right, Milhouse.
Your childlike
belief has brought me to life!
I knew you'd come! I even baked you
a loaf of homemade pumpkin bread!
Oh, how delightful-- bread
made especially for pumpkins.
Actually, it's made from pumpkins.
Revenge!
I'm gonna give you crossed eyes
like you might see on an idiot,
a stupid triangle nose and a big mouth full of
the ugliest shaped teeth there are square.
And I'm gonna make your friends watch.
Noooo!!!
Ladies.
Stupid
Everybody, listen!
The Grand Pumpkin is real!
Hey! No hard-soled shoes!
Oh, God! Everywhere I
look-- pumpkin atrocities!!
Care for a pumpkin seed?
You roast the unborn?
Touch me and I'll cut your friend!
What do I care?
That's a yellow pumpkin.
You're a racist!
All pumpkins are racist.
The difference is I admit it!
I'd rather die than hate!
This is all my fault!
The Grand Pumpkin said my childlike
belief was what made him come to life!
Belief, eh?
Say, Milhouse, have you by any
chance ever heard of "Tom Turkey"?
No.
Who is he and
what's his origin story?
Um well, Tom is a magical
turkey who gave the pilgrims
the technology to put
buckles on their hats.
Now he appears every Thanksgiving
to children who believe.
Sounds plausible.
Tom Turkey, help me.
I believe in you.
Are you looking for a particular
part of my brain or
Halt, yon pumperkin most succulent
and plump! I be Tom Turkey!
A giant talking turkey?
Preposterous!
Prepare for the Almighty's judgement,
thou stinking fruit of rotted vine!
Pumpkin segregation forever!
I can't live on the outside.
I can't!
Milhouse, your childlike
innocence saved us all!
Tom, how can we repay you?
How about a Thanksgiving feast?
You can carve the turkey.
You eat turkeys?!
Oh, yeah.
It's delicious!
Especially when we take stuffing
and shove it up the turkey's
Revenge!!!!
Looks like those kids found
the true spirit of Halloween.
Or Thanksgiving.
Or whatever.
And for those of you who feel like we've
trampled on a beloved children's classic,
I encourage you to write
to the following address.
Happy Holidays, everyone!