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Hello, Tomato2400 here once again.
You may note this is Francisco2000's voice.
We actually have the same voice, but I changed mine to prevent you from
getting confused, xD. Anyway, Francisco left the team, so
I don't think it will be necessary to change my voice anymore.
So, I will make this episode by myself.
I'll review the ten remaining games of 20 em 1 that were left unreviewed
on the last episode.
Crap, I must be a self-hater or something... Whatever, let's start.
The sooner *** starts, the sooner it ends.
The game has already been classified in the first part of the episode,
so I will play it directly.
Let's open this ***'s ROM...
Aww, the game's music, greeting me once again... How cute, Isn't it?
(Sarcasm mode activated,
by the way)
Now why isn't the game starting?
Oh, right...
It starts with button A.
Not with Start as in a NORMAL game.
So, back in the game select screen with 20 unnamed games. Let's see
what kind of crap game number 11 is.
¿What the *** is this game?
Apparently...
I'm a frog jumping in a lake, eating bugs. I jump just by moving,
and if I hold A while jumping I extend my tongue to eat the bugs.
If I touch bugs without my tongue, I get hurt, so what's the point of being able to
jump without the tongue out?
I think I'll give this game the most creative name I've ever had
till now: The Game of the Retarded Frog who eats Bugs falling from the
Sky while a Sun with an Idiot's Face looks at it from the background.
I jump,
I eat bugs, that's all about this "game" apparently.
Screw this, next game.
"Game" number 12. Ok, this seems to be the first decent
minigame.
Uh, I'm a spaceship on space, how redundant xD,
shooting triangles and other spaceships.
I can see the red enemies are the kamikazes that chase me to
crash into me; the others just move around like idiots.
Each enemy destroyed gives me one point, and I've just noticed that, in these games,
every hit taken reduces my score.
You know what?
I retire what I said about 'decent minigame'; MY BALLS are more decent than this.
Anyway, I think the first time you play this, it CAN entertain you for a few minutes...
Or at least until you decide to turn off the console and throw the game cartridge away.
Well, time over.
I can understand something like 'What a shame, try again"
Oh, of course, the time's over and I didn't have enough score.
YOUR *** MOTHER will play this again.
Game number 13.
Dafuq is this? Well, looks like I'm an airplane flying through an infinite
forest...
There's kamikaze planes that take one point from me but give two if I hit them
right after they've hit me. There's also some balloons.
Looks like there's no more interesting things around.
I move up and down, and with Right I speed up.
Is that all?
Yes, it seems to be all.
I move, I get chased, I shoot stuff,
nothing more.
Let's better move on to the next game.
Game number 14- But, what the ***?
This is the skater game we saw in part 1 but with rollers instead
of a skate. I move up and down, I speed up with Right, it's
basically the same, except that I seem to be on other street...
(Or is it a route instead of a street?)
Whatever, I'm rolling through the route, I don't give a ball about traffic, I don't care 72
Looks like in this game I earn points by simply advancing, and obstacles
make me lose approximately 10 points.
Enough, game number 15.
¿WHAT THE ***?
I think I'm a chef, who throws a cookie, that bounces off the walls, and I
hit it with my frying pan, until, I think, it ends up in the oven...
What the heck is this?
Well, let's see what happens if I actually get the cookie in the oven...
I just earn 100 points and throw another cookie. I don't know, I
suppose I need 200 or 300 points approximately.
Cookie, you piece of crap, could you get in the *** OVEN, please?
Yes... YES... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
¡I didn't put it in!
(No, you evil-minded people, I don't mean THAT by 'I didn't put it in')
*** this, next game. Game number 16.
¿What the *** is this?
I mean, I'm 'Anti Insect Man' jumping around some house, bathing insects
on spray, which makes them desintegrate instantly.
¡It's the *** frog game with different graphics!
Once again, I must hold A while jumping to attack,
which is IDIOTIC,
when I could always have the spray activated and it would be more useful.
Game 17.
(Almost done, woo-hoo)
AAAAAAAAAAAH!
Dafuq was that noise?
Well, umm, I'm a miner on a hill (A MINER on a HILL?) attacking
other miners with some spray that makes them desintegrate. But, apparently,
as soon as I kill one, ANOTHER ONE appears. It's a ***
ARMY!
And, yes, they do that noise when killed.
What a piece of ***! I can hold A while moving and I'll become
invincible!
I'll finally be able to see the victory screen easily :D
Let's take a look at what I see after winning a game-
Wait a sec.
When the screen went blue for a moment, it WAS the victory screen.
And I skipped it just because I was pressing A.
*** YOU, GAME! Next one.
Game 18, almost done. Dunno what to call it; maybe 'The Game of the Idiotic
Ski Guy who Crashes with every Small Thing he Touches and can get Hurt with Just
Touching a Red flag, while he Earns Points with the Blue ones"
Yes, that pretty much sums up the game.
I go from the start to the finish trying not to crash and getting the
blue flags but not the red ones.
How the crap was I supposed to know the red ones were bad?
Game 19.
I'm a police car on an infinite street, chasing some criminals
on red cars, I think.
Those idiots try to crash into me even though they know they
dissipate when touching me.
What the *** were the creators thinking?
The Tec Toys guys hwo made this must have on drugs or something.
Finally,
the last game.
This *** will finally be over.
Game number 20.
Maybe the creators put all of their effort on this last game...?
IT SUCKS BUFFALO *** BATHED ON HORSE *** LIKE THE LAST 19 GAMES! ***!
I'm some guy who hits a tennis ball, and I hit it, and hit it, and hit it,
A simple game, but it's ***.
And boring.
And made by people on drugs.
And with a barf green background.
And just as horrible as the other games.
I don't know if the team who made this wanted to ruin Sega (Still don't know
how this game got Sega's license), or maybe they were traitors who
wanted to ruin Tec Toys. Or they were just old skinny retarded ***.
I simply don't understand the stupidity by Tec Toys' part to make a game like this
by their name, or the stupidity by Sega's part to ruin their Master System console
by giving their license to this 8-bity abomination.
Okay, if I keep playing this ***, I'll probably become retarded like its creators,
so I better just rate it directly.
Graphics.
Well, the graphics may be
colorful and all that but they are just average.
I give it a 7.
Sound. There's just two musics,
the main menu one and the games one,
and both sound like crap.
Though,
it's still better than reggaeton or
'cumbia' (Argentinian *** music for you english people), so that's saying something.
I give it a 2.
Gameplay. Almost no gameplay at all.
It's just the buttons to move and the A button.
Basically, crap.
Difficulty, some games are a piece of cake,
like the miner one, and others are frustrating, like the cook one,
where I am like three hours trying to
get ONE cookie in the oven.
I give it a 5.
Fun. Boring as hell; both games and music are monotone,
most games are
a piece of cake, and they entertain for no more than two minutes. I give it a one.
To sum up,
the final rating for this piece of *** is a.
3. 20 insults to 8 bits.
Well, now that it has been 'tomatoily proved' that this "game"
sucks, it's time to send it back to the *** it came from.
There, another crappy game thrashed.
Of course, there are other 800 million crappy games out there to review, so I'll see you
in the next episode with a new review.
By the way, now that Francisco2000 has abandoned the team, I need people who wants to be a
'*** Game Reviewer'. Anyone interested in joining the team,
check out the video description. Good bye!