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narrator: RIGHT NOW...
( man groaning )( man groa
truTV Presents...
20 MORE JAW-DROPPING STUNTS...
AND DEATH-DEFYING ACTS...
... OF DUBIOUS WISDOM,
ALL CAUGHT LIVE ON TAPE.
IT'S A DIMWITTED TOUR-DE-FORCE
OF THE BROKEN,
THE BEATEN,
AND THE JUST-PLAIN BUMMIN'.
FEATURING THE
ALWAYS-COMPASSIONATE
COMMENTARY OF
OUR CELEBRITY PANEL.
Danny: I WISH I WAS AT
THE BOTTOM OF THAT HILL,
SO WHEN HE FINALLY STOPS
ROLLING, I COULD JUST PUNCH HIM
IN THE FACE !
truTV Presents...
THE SMOKING GUN PRESENTS: THE
WORLD'S DUMBEST DAREDEVILS 2.
Closed Captions Provided by truTV
narrator: AT THE ANNUAL
SANDBLAST EVENT
IN PRINCE GEORGE,
BRITISH COLUMBIA,
THRILL-SEEKERS RACE DOWN
A STEEP DIRT HILL ON BIKES...
( grunting )
SNOWBOARDS...
narrator: AND IN THE CASE
OF THE DUMB DAREDEVILS
AT NUMBER 20,
A COUCH-- ON WHEELS.
Judy: THIS WAS NOT A VERY
WELL-THOUGHT-OUT COMPETITION.
Nick: A COUCH
IS A VERY SAFE THING.
YOU DON'T PUT FOUR TIRES ON IT--
AND IF YOU DO, YOU MIGHT WANNA
INCORPORATE A STEERING WHEEL.
mock commentator: LOOK OUT,
I CAN'T STEER, I CAN'T STEER !
Leif: THE FULL-BODY
EXTENSION FLIPS
WERE DAMN IMPRESSIVE,
BUT, MAN, THEY LOOKED
REALLY PAINFUL.
man: OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD !
Tonya: I MEAN, WHO ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO BLAME ?
THE GUYS THAT PUT THIS IDEA
TOGETHER, OR THE COUCH ?
mock commentator: IT
WASN'T MY IDEA.
Brad: PEOPLE SCREAM IN HORROR
LIKE THEY'RE SHOCKED.
man: OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD !
Brad: DID YOU REALLY THINK
THEY WERE GONNA MAKE IT ?
( crowd yelling )
Todd: THE PART THAT
I'M INTERESTED IN
IS WHEN YOU SEE THAT COUCH
COMING DOWN THERE,
AND THE GUY TURNS AROUND
AND LOOKS AND HE TAKES OFF,
BUT LEAVES HIS BUDDY THERE.
AND BEFORE THE GUY
CAN TURN AROUND,
THAT COUCH RUNS HIS *** OVER.
WHAT KINDA FRIEND WAS THAT ?
WHAT AN ( bleep ).
narrator: MIRACULOUSLY,
NEITHER THE SOFA SURFERS,
NOR THE SPECTATORS,
WERE SERIOUSLY INJURED.
Judy: IT'D BE ONE THING
IF YOU WERE LIKE--
NO, IT WOULDN'T.
IT WOULDN'T BE ONE THING
IF ANYTHING.
IT'S ( bleep ) STUPID.
YOU DON'T ( bleep )
TAKE YOUR COUCH OUT
AND ROLL IT DOWN A HILL.
YOU DON'T DO IT !
YOU DON'T ( bleep ) DO IT,
YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
man: OH, MY GOD !
narrator: THE WORLD EXTREME
SKIING CHAMPIONSHIP
IN VALDEZ, ALASKA:
A FEMALE COMPETITOR
BEGINS HER DESCENT
DOWN THE FACE OF THE MOUNTAIN.
mock commentator: OH, MY GOD--
( groaning )
Tonya: THIS WAS NOT
EXTREME SKIING, BY ANY MEANS.
THIS WAS EXTREME FLOPPAGE.
( groaning )
Todd: SHE'S JUST ROLLING DOWN--
BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA...
Judy: FALLS...
FALLS MORE...
Loni: STILL FALLING...
STILL FALLING.
Nick: SHE LOOKS LIKE
A HUMAN LUGE.
PERFECT FORM.
Todd: AT THAT POINT, I'M GOING--
"DAMN, COME ON, MAN,
"SOMEBODY STOP HER !
SOMEBODY HELP THIS DAMN GIRL !"
Loni: CAN WE PLEASE
FAST-FORWARD ?
Brad: PEOPLE, I CLOCKED IT.
IT'S A MINUTE AND 36 SECONDS
OF FALLING.
A MINUTE, 36.
Todd: LIKE MY RELAPSE.
"10-YEAR RELAPSE !
TODD IS STILL SLIDIN' !"
Michel: I BET RELATIONSHIPS
LAST LESS TIME
THAN THIS LADY'S FALL.
narrator: THE WOMAN'S FALL
FINALLY COMES TO AN END
MIDWAY DOWN THE MOUNTAIN,
WHERE SHE'S PICKED UP
BY A TEAM OF MEDICS.
Chuck: NOBODY SHOULD BE SKIING
DOWN THE FACE OF A MOUNTAIN.
IT'S ONE THING TO SKI DOWN
A MOUNTAIN SLOPE.
IT'S ANOTHER THING TO SKI DOWN
THE MOUNTAIN FACE.
SEE, ONE IS ANGLED,
THE OTHER IS VERTICAL.
Tonya: I MEAN, FALLING
ON MY REAR FROM SKATING
WAS BAD ENOUGH WHEN I DIDN'T
GET UP SOMETIMES,
BUT THIS LADY IS-- OH, WOW.
I DON'T THINK SHE'LL BE SKIING
FOR AWHILE.
narrator: WITH FRIENDS
FILMING HIM FROM THE BACK
OF A PICKUP TRUCK,
OUR NEXT DAREDEVIL ATTEMPTS
A DANGEROUS MOTORCYCLE STUNT
ON A CALIFORNIA HIGHWAY.
mock commentator: CHECK
THIS OUT-- CHECK IT OUT !
( moaning )
Tonya: WHAT WAS HIS FIRST CLUE
THAT IT WASN'T GONNA WORK ?
Loni: THIS IS A NEW MOVIE
CALLED "THE FAST
AND THE STUPID."
Brad: I KNEW WHAT WAS GONNA
HAPPEN AS SOON AS I SAW
THAT IT WAS A YELLOW MOTORCYCLE.
YELLOW MOTORCYCLE = *** BAG.
EINSTEIN PROVED IT.
mock commentator: YA, IT'S TRUE.
Chuck: THE THING
I LOVE ABOUT THIS GUY
IS HE IS SO ARROGANT THAT
EVEN THOUGH HE HAS MAN ***,
HE THINKS HE CAN BE
A STUNT RIDER.
Nick: I LOVE HOW THE BIKE
CONTINUED ON.
EVEN THE BIKE KNEW THIS GUY
WAS SUCH A "CHUCH,"
IT'S LIKE,
"I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE."
Danny: HAD IT NOT KEPT GOING
INTO THAT FLOWER BED,
IT WOULD'VE GONE, LITERALLY--
AND I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT--
FOR MILES.
SO BASICALLY, THE MACHINE
IS FAR MORE TALENTED
THAN THE MAN.
Michel: VERY INTERESTING TO ME
IS THE FACT
THAT WHOEVER'S FILMING IT,
THEY FOLLOW THE MOTORCYCLE.
THEIR FRIEND JUST TOOK A TUMBLE
OFF A MOTORIZED BIKE
IN THE STREET,
AND THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM.
THEY'RE WATCHING THE MOTORCYCLE.
narrator: THE BIKE WAS
TOTALED...
AND THE BIKER WAS TAKEN
TO THE HOSPITAL.
Bryan: WHAT DO YOU THINK
IS GONNA HAPPEN TO YOUR SKIN
WHEN YOU HIT THE PAVEMENT
AT 30 MILES AN HOUR ?
IT'S CALLED
A SEVERE SKIN SCRAPE.
HOW ABOUT WEARING SLEEVES,
JOKER ?
narrator: COMING UP,
WHO'S FISHING WHO ?
AND LATER, THE WRONG WAY
TO TRAIN A BEAR.
PLUS, MORE INSIGHTFUL TIDBITS
FROM OUR FEARLESS
CELEBRITY PANEL.
Brad: I'M NOT A SMART GUY,
BUT I WOULD THINK YOU SHOULD
KEEP THE PARACHUTE ABOVE YOU.
narrator: When "The World's
Dumbest Daredevils" continues.
narrator: AT THE GREAT AMERICAN
CHAMPIONSHIP HILL CLIMB
IN BILLINGS, MONTANA,
MOTORCYCLISTS USE HORSEPOWER
IN AN ATTEMPT TO CHEAT GRAVITY.
AND MORE OFTEN THAN NOT,
IT DOESN'T GO WELL.
Todd: THEY GO UP--
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA...
AND THE BIKE WOULD
HIT SOME OF 'EM-- BAM !
Leif: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE FUN ?
POSSIBLY, IF YOU LIKE HAVING
A MOTORCYCLE LAND ON TOP OF YOU.
man: HE'S GONNA DO IT,
CAN HE DO IT ?
Brad: I FELT LIKE I WAS WATCHING
MAD MAX.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON
WITH THESE PEOPLE ?
Bryan: YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU WATCH THE FIRST
FOUR OR FIVE GUYS NOT MAKE IT,
AND INSTEAD LAND ON THEIR FACE
AND THEN SKID DOWN
THE ROCK CREVASSE,
AND THEN HAVE THE BIKE
ACTUALLY LAND ON THEM...
YOU'D THINK MAYBE THAT
YOU WOULDN'T TRY IT.
man: LOOK OUT !
Todd: NOW, THE GUYS
THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
CATCHING THE BIKES,
I'D FIRE EVERY ONE OF 'EM.
THEM *** DIDN'T CATCH
( bleep ).
Brad: THAT SHOULD BE YOUR
FIRST CLUE NOT TO DO IT !
WHEN THERE'S LIKE, 50 TEAMSTERS
SUSPENDED FROM ROPE
WHO ARE LIKE,
"I'M GONNA TRY TO KEEP YOU
FROM DYING."
narrator: IN THE END, SOMEBODY
WINS THIS COMPETITION...
SOMEHOW.
Bryan: I GUESS ONE GUY MADE IT,
WHICH IS GOOD,
BUT THEN HE WENT TOO FAST
AND GOT TOO EXCITED
AND WENT OVER THE OTHER END
AND DISAPPEARED.
mock commentator: WHOA !
narrator: AND THE REST PICK UP
THEIR BRUISED BODIES
AND BROKEN BIKES, AND GO HOME.
Tonya: BUT THAT'S WHAT
EXTREME SPORTS IS ALL ABOUT.
Brad: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING
NEXT WEEKEND ?"
"LET'S GO *** A BEEHIVE
AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS THEN !"
mock commentator: HO-HO-HO !
narrator: OFF THE COAST
OF PORTUGAL,
A SPORT-FISHING BOAT
IS ON THE HUNT FOR MARLIN.
BEFORE LONG, THEY HOOK ONE...
AND THE FIGHT IS ON.
IT'S AN EPIC BATTLE OF
MAN VS. FISH.
AND GUESS WHO WINS ?
Todd: IT'S AN OLD GUY,
AND HE'S LIKE--
"OH, YEAH, HELL YEAH, YEAH !"
( bleep ).
Loni: HE GOT SNATCHED
OUT OF THAT BOAT
LIKE I *** A $100 BILL.
Tonya: NEXT TIME, JUST LET
THE FISH TAKE THE POLE, OKAY ?
IT'S BETTER TO DO THAT.
Brad: THAT THING'S BEEN THERE
2 MILLION YEARS.
YOU THINK IT'S SCARED OF YOU ?
THAT IS A JACKED-UP FISH,
DON'T ( bleep ) WITH IT.
Bryan: THAT'S WHY YOU ALWAYS
WEAR YOUR SEAT BELT
WHEN YOU'RE FISHING MARLIN.
narrator: THE CREW
EVENTUALLY PULLS THE FISHERMAN
OUT OF THE WATER.
HIS ONLY INJURIES:
A DISLOCATED FINGER,
A COUPLE OF SCRATCHES
ON HIS FACE,
AND A WHOLE LOT OF HUMILIATION.
Chuck: YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT MARLIN DID
WHEN THIS WAS OVER ?
HE WENT TO HIS LOCAL MARLIN PUB
AND HE TOLD THE STORY ABOUT
HOW HE CAUGHT A 6-FOOT HUMAN.
mock commentator: LINE HER UP,
JIMMY !
I JUST FISHED A BIG, BALD-HEADED
*** IN THE SEA !
Bryan: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET
FOR TAKING OLD MAN AND THE SEA
TOO SERIOUSLY.
DIG ?
'CAUSE YOU REALLY BECAME
THE OLD MAN IN THE SEA.
narrator: PARAGLIDING
IS A DANGEROUS,
HIGH-ALTITUDE SPORT REQUIRING
EXPERT UNDERSTANDING OF
AIR DRAFTS AND CURRENTS.
PEOPLE ARE OFTEN DRAGGED
ALONG THE GROUND
AND HAVE LITTLE CONTROL
OVER WHERE OR HOW THEY LAND.
men: WHOA !
narrator: IN MEXICO,
WITH CAMERAS ROLLING,
THIS PARAGLIDING DAREDEVIL
APPEARS READY TO TAKE ON
THOSE DANGERS.
BUT WHEN HE ATTEMPTS TO
FLIP OVER HIS OWN CHUTE...
( bleep )
( bleep )
HO-HO-HO !
Tom: THAT WAS INSANE.
mock commentator: HO-HO-HO !
Brad: I'M NOT A SMART GUY,
BUT I WOULD THINK YOU SHOULD
KEEP THE PARACHUTE ABOVE YOU.
Nick: IT SWALLOWED HIM UP.
IT LOOKED LIKE ONE OF THOSE
VENUS FLYTRAPS.
( crunching sound )
Loni: THAT'S HIS
HALLEY COMET IMPRESSION.
Brad: IT LOOKS LIKE
A FALLING ROLL
OF TOILET PAPER TO ME.
WHICH IS PRETTY GOOD,
BECAUSE YOU'RE ( bleep )
OUT OF LUCK, DUDE.
mock commentator: HO-HO-HO !
narrator: AMAZINGLY,
OUR PARAGLIDER SURVIVED
WITH ONLY A BROKEN ELBOW.
Judy: HOW THE ( bleep )
HE SURVIVED, I HAVE NO IDEA.
Todd: BUT HE PROBABLY HAD
HIS *** IN HIS MOUTH
AFTER THAT, THE WAY
HE HIT THE GROUND-- BUTT WENT--
( squishing noise )
THAT'S WHY WE CALL HIM
"***-MOUTH."
narrator: AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
WITHIN A YEAR,
HE WAS BACK IN THE AIR.
man: THE FACT THAT THIS GUY,
"A," SURVIVED, IS AMAZING,
BUT "B," THAT HE WOULD
GO BACK UP AGAIN,
SHOWS THAT HE'S CERTIFIABLE.
mock commentator: ♪ I'M ♪
♪ SO HAPPY ♪
♪ I'M SO HAPPY ♪
♪ I'M SO HAPPY ♪
narrator: SOME DAREDEVILS
ENJOY COMBINING PARAGLIDING
WITH SURFING--
mock commentator: CHECK ME OUT.
narrator: A SPORT KNOWN AS
KITEBOARDING.
THE SMART KITEBOARDER GENERALLY
TRIES TO STAY OUT IN OPEN WATER,
BUT THIS AUSTRALIAN KITEBOARDER
DOES NO SUCH THING.
mock commentator: WOO-HOO-HOO !
( groaning )
Bryan: THAT LOOKED LIKE
IT HURT SO BADLY.
Leif: "I'M GONNA GO OVER
"THE JETTY OF ROCKS
AND BE REAL COOL."
YOU KNOW, YEAH.
Tonya: WHEN YOU SEE
ROCKS COMING,
WOULDN'T YOU WANNA LET GO
INSTEAD OF GOING THROUGH
THE WATER AND LIKE,
PLUMMETING ON THE ROCKS ?
I WOULD, BUT OBVIOUSLY,
THIS GUY DIDN'T.
Loni: YES, I'LL HAVE A CRASH
ON THE ROCKS.
narrator: THE LAND-LOVING
KITEBOARDER ESCAPED WITH ONLY
A FEW SURFACE WOUNDS.
Bryan: HE HIT THE GROUND
SO HARD, HE JUST--
"KI-KA" ON HIS SHOULDER
AND THEN COMES BACK UP,
AND HE'S LIKE, "I'M FINE !"
man: I KNOW, I SAW IT,
I'M LIKE, ( bleep ).
Michel: "YOU GOT A LITTLE
STRAWBERRY THERE, MATE."
YOU KNOW-- YOU GOT A STRAWBERRY,
YOU GOT A DISLOCATED SHOULDER !
Brad: IF YOU GET ROAD RASH FROM
THE OCEAN, YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
Judy: AND YOU KNOW,
LIKE AFTER THE CAMERA WAS OFF,
HE WAS LIKE-- "AHHHH !"
narrator: COMING UP,
BEWARE OF SPEED BUMPS.
PLUS, IT'S NOT NICE TO FOOL
WITH MOTHER NATURE.
AND LATER, ALL TIED UP
AND NOWHERE TO GO.
narrator: When "The World's
Dumbest Daredevils" continues.
Michael: MY NAME'S
MICHAEL NUGENT,
AND I WAS BORN IN PROVIDENCE,
RHODE ISLAND.
narrator: MICHAEL'S ABILITY
TO RELAY BASIC INFORMATION
ABOUT HIMSELF
MAY LEAD YOU TO THINK
HE DOESN'T DESERVE A SPOT
ON OUR COUNTDOWN.
WELL, THAT'S NOT THE CASE.
YOU SEE, MICHAEL
IS AN EXTREME SKIER.
AND ON THIS DAY IN MONTANA,
BAD LUCK AND BAD JUDGMENT
CONSPIRE IN A WAY
NO ONE COULD'VE EXPECTED.
mock commentator: DUDE !
DUDE !
( groaning )
DUDE !
Joe: THIS IS WHY I DON'T SKI.
mock commentator: DUDE, DUDE !
Joe: THAT IS SOME
SCARY ( bleep ).
Judy: I MIGHT BE WRONG,
BUT I'M ALMOST POSITIVE--
IF AN AVALANCHE IS COMING...
YOU DON'T TRY TO RACE IT
DOWN THE HILL.
Bryan: I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT GUY
JUST DIDN'T DO
WHAT JAMES BOND DOES.
WHEN THE AVALANCHE IS COMING,
TUCK, FIND A JUMP,
JUMP IN THE AIR,
GRAB ONTO THE TOP OF A PINE TREE
AND WATCH IT ALL
GO UNDER LIKE THAT.
AND DON'T FORGET TO POSE
LIKE THIS.
Loni: WHO'S DUMBER
IN THIS VIDEO ?
THE SKIER OR THE CAMERAMAN
WHO DIDN'T RUN ?
Leif: HEY, GUY FILMING...
GET THE ( bleep )
THE OTHER WAY !
Brad: YOU KNOW HE'S JUST
SITTING THERE BEING LIKE--
"DUDE, I JUST GOT THIS CAMERA,
IT RULES !"
mock commentator: WOO-HOO !
Brad: "IT'S SO REAL,
"IT LOOKS LIKE THE AVALANCHE
IS COMING RIGHT TO--"
narrator: THE CAMERAMAN
WALKED AWAY FROM THE AVALANCHE
WITH HIS CAMERA.
MICHAEL WAS TRAPPED IN THE SNOW
FOR THREE HOURS
UNTIL A HELICOPTER
WAS ABLE TO LIFT HIM OUT.
Michael: THIS IS LIKE DAY FIVE
IN THE HOSPITAL,
I GOT A BROKEN FEMUR
AND BROKEN HIP.
Brad: I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE
SKIED THE TRIPLE-BLACK-DIAMOND
LOOP-DE-LOOP AT BEAR MOUNTAIN,
YOU'RE GETTING YOUR *** KICKED
BY AN AVALANCHE.
IT'S A NATURAL DISASTER.
IT'S GOD SAYING,
"GET OFF MY MOUNTAIN."
mock commentator: DUDE !
( groaning )
DUDE !
narrator: THE DUBAI
INTERNATIONAL RALLY
IS A THREE-DAY RACE
THROUGH THE HOT SANDS
OF THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES.
DRIVERS MUST RACE THROUGH
A VARIETY OF TERRAINS...
AT INCREDIBLY HIGH SPEEDS.
THEY HAVE TO BE KEENLY AWARE
OF EVERY BUMP ON THE ROAD.
( crashing )
Leif: HE HITS THIS DIP
AT SUCH GREAT SPEEDS
THAT THIS GUY JUST DOES
A "BANGA-HANGA-HOO."
Todd: ( motor noises )
OH ( bleep ).
( motor noises )
Brad: STOP DRIVING ON SAND,
( bleep ).
THAT'S WHY THEY INVENTED CAMELS.
YOU DRIVE ON ROADS, OKAY ?
ROADS.
Leif: THE POOR GUY
WITH THE CAMERA DID NOT
GET OUT OF THE WAY IN TIME.
narrator: THE TRUCK TOOK
A BEATING,
BUT THE TWO MEN INSIDE
AND THE CAMERAMAN ESCAPED WITH
RELATIVELY MINOR INJURIES.
Loni: UH...
Judy: IF I HAD TO DO THIS,
I WISH THAT MY CAR
WOULD FLIP OVER
AND I COULD GET THE ( bleep )
OUT OF THIS STUPID RACE.
narrator: THIS IS CUBBY,
A BLACK BEAR WHO LIVES IN
A NEW MEXICO WILDLIFE PRESERVE.
THIS MORNING,
HE IS BEING VISITED
BY A BEAR TRAINER.
WHY WOULD A WILD BEAR
NEED A TRAINER ?
CUBBY IS ASKING
THE VERY SAME QUESTION.
( man groaning )
Bryan: HITTING A BEAR
ON THE NOSE AND SAYING,
"GET BACK," IN BEAR LANGUAGE,
THAT'S "GO ( bleep ) YOURSELF."
( man groaning )
Todd: THAT BEAR WAS LIKE,
"WHAT THE ( bleep )
ARE YOU DOING ?"
Brad: IF YOU HAVE
THAT KIND OF COMB-OVER,
AND YOU KEEP A BEAR
IN YOUR BACKYARD,
YOU DESERVE TO DIE.
narrator: AS THE TRAPPED TRAINER
PLAYS DEAD, HIS FRIEND TRIES TO
COAX THE BEAR AWAY.
Nick: SHE'S GOING,
"HERE, CUBBY, CUBBY," LIKE
IT'S A 4-POUND YORKSHIRE TERRIER
THAT JUMPED ON HIS LAP.
Brad: THERE COMES A POINT
IN THIS VIDEO WHERE I'VE COME TO
THE CONCLUSION THAT THIS BEAR
IS NOT MAULING THIS MAN.
THIS BEAR IS IN LOVE
WITH THIS MAN.
mock commentator: YOU SMELL
GOOD.
Brad: HE'S NOT REALLY
BITING HIM--
HE'S JUST KINDA
CUDDLING WITH HIM.
AT ONE POINT,
THEY'RE SPOONING...
mock commentator: I CAN'T
QUIT YOU, TRAINER.
narrator: FINALLY,
CUBBY BACKS OFF,
LEAVING THE TRAINER
TO RECONSIDER HIS PROFESSION.
Chuck: MAYBE BECAUSE YOU NEVER
HIT THE BEAR OVER THE FACE
WITH A PIECE OF WOOD BEFORE.
man: IN THIS CASE, THE ANIMAL
DECIDED TO FIGHT BACK,
AND FIGHT BACK PRETTY VIGOROUSLY
AND WITH FULL APPROVAL, I THINK,
FROM THE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
( audience cheering )
WE WERE CHEERING FOR THE BEAR.
( audience cheering )
narrator: KAYAKING
IS ONE OF THE MOST
PHYSICALLY DEMANDING
AND DANGEROUS WATERSPORTS
IN THE WORLD.
IN RUSSIA, THIS EXTREME KAYAKER
IS TRYING TO TAKE THE SPORT
TO NEW HEIGHTS.
Judy: HERE'S THE DEAL:
THE KAYAK IS MADE FOR WATER.
IT'S REALLY NOT MADE FOR
THE PUSHING OFF OF A CLIFF.
( man speaking Russian )
Judy: I HAVE A SIX-YEAR-OLD
WHO COULD FIGURE OUT THAT
THAT IS JUST NOT GONNA WORK.
Todd: WHEN HE GOT PUSHED OFF,
HIS THING TURNED AROUND,
HE WENT--
( sputtering noises )
UPSIDE DOWN.
Loni: THIS VIDEO, THEY PROVE
THAT KAYAKS DON'T FLY.
THEY FALL.
mock commentator: OH, NO !
Chuck: THIS GUY'S
THE WILE E. COYOTE OF KAYAKING.
HIS FRIENDS PUSH HIM
OFF A CLIFF,
HE DOESN'T MAKE IT,
HE TUMBLES AND FALLS,
AND THEN A GIANT ROCK
HITS HIM ON THE HEAD
WHEN HE HITS THE WATER.
BEAUTIFUL !
narrator: THE KAYAKER SURVIVED
THE FALL WITH SOME BRUISED RIBS
AND A NOSE FULL OF WATER.
Brad: I CAN BARELY MANEUVER
A KAYAK IN WATER.
WHAT MADE YOU THINK
YOU CAN DO A BASE JUMP IN ONE ?
CRACK ( bleep ).
w
narrator: COMING UP,
THIS GUY WILL DO ANYTHING
FOR A PAIR OF TICKETS.
Chuck: HE DOVE INTO...
narrator: AND LATER,
THEY DON'T CALL THEM
"KILLER WHALES" FOR NOTHING.
( woman whimpering )
narrator: WHEN
narrator: When "The World's
Dumbest Daredevils" continues.
narrator: THE FLORIDA
EVERGLADES:
6,000 SQUARE MILES OF WETLANDS
FILLED WITH ALLIGATORS.
FOLKS DOWN HERE FIND AIRBOATS
TO BE THE MOST PRACTICAL FORM
OF TRANSPORTATION.
mock commentator: HOWDY,
SCOOTER.
narrator: WHICH MAKES IT
THE PERFECT LOCATION FOR
THE ANNUAL AIRBOAT DRAG RACE:
TWO PILOTS RACING BOATS
POWERED BY AIRPLANE ENGINES
TURNING GIANT FANS.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG ?
Todd: ALL OF A SUDDEN,
HE'S LIKE--
( zooming noises )
OH, ( bleep ).
( sputtering noises )
Brad: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO RACE ACROSS THE TOP OF WATER.
YOU'RE NOT JESUS.
Chuck: YOU KNOW, AN AIRBOAT,
THEY CALL IT THAT
BECAUSE IT PRETTY MUCH FLIES,
IT DOESN'T FLOAT,
SO WHEN YOU GET UP TO SPEEDS
THAT THE BOAT CAN'T HANDLE,
I DON'T KNOW--
YOU MIGHT WANNA EXPECT
A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE...
A FLIP !
Bryan: THERE ARE 5,000 VIDEOS
OF THE AIRBOAT IN THE EVERGLADES
GOING LIKE THAT
THAT CATCHES AND FLIPS OVER.
WHAT PART OF THAT
DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ?
Brad: "WHAT'S THE WORST
"THAT COULD HAPPEN ?
"WE COULD FALL IN THE WATER.
"I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S
"ANYTHING IN THE WATER
"THAT COULD HURT US.
OH."
Leif: THERE'S DEFINITELY SOME
GATORS IN THAT AREA JUST GOING,
"I'M WAITING FOR
"ONE OF THESE SCHNOOKS
TO COME OFF THIS BOAT..."
mock commentator: MMM, TASTY.
narrator: THE AIRBOAT PILOT
WAS RESCUED BEFORE ANY
ALLIGATORS COULD GET
A PIECE OF HIM.
Judy: YOU'RE GONNA ( bleep ) DIE
FOR A STUPID AIRBOAT RACE.
Bryan: LIFE IS TOO SHORT
TO AIRBOAT, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
THERE'S GOTTA BE ANOTHER HOBBY
YOU CAN COME UP WITH.
narrator: WELCOME TO
THE VERY DUMB WORLD
OF GHOST-RIDING.
( man laughing )
Leif: THIS IS JUST ABOUT
THE DUMBEST THING
I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
Brad: IN WHAT WAY DID YOU THINK
THIS WAS GONNA WORK OUT ?
Michel: I SEE NO UPSIDE
TO THIS LITTLE ADVENTURE.
NONE !
DO YOU LOOK COOL ?
DO GIRLS LIKE IT ?
IF YOU DON'T ANSWER "YES"
TO BOTH OF THOSE THINGS,
WHY ARE YOU DOING IT ?
Mickey: HE HITS
THAT FIRE HYDRANT,
AND IT GOES FLYING
LIKE IT'S A PING-PONG BALL.
man: WHOA !
WHOA !
WHOA !
Todd: YOU DESERVED IT,
YOU DESERVED IT.
IF YOU'RE GONNA GHOST-RIDE,
FIRST OF ALL,
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT
GOING A LOT SLOWER THAN THAT.
Danny: HE DID IT BECAUSE
HE WAS A DAREDEVIL,
AND I USED TO DO IT
'CAUSE I WAS A WASHED-UP
HAS-BEEN WHO JUST WANTED TO DIE.
I THINK LEIF GARRETT
DOES IT NOW.
Leif: ( laughing )
Judy: I'M GONNA GO TOP THREE...
STUPID, DUMB, YOU HAVE TO BE
THE ( bleep ) STUPIDEST
( bleep ) PERSON IN THE WORLD
TO DO THAT.
mock commentator: OH, MAN,
MY TRUCK !
narrator: RABID SPORTS FANS
WILL DO ALMOST ANYTHING
FOR TICKETS TO SEE
THEIR FAVORITE TEAM PLAY.
AND FOR THIS
OHIO STATE BUCKEYES FAN...
man: LET'S GO, BUCKEYES !
narrator: THAT MEANS PUTTING ON
A BIG DIAPER...
AND JUMPING INTO
A GIANT VAT OF MANURE.
Chuck: HE DOVE INTO...
man: DO IT, BABY !
Tonya: I MEAN, EW, EW !
man: HE'S IN THE MANURE !
FIND THE TICKETS, MAN !
Judy: HE HAS ( bleep )
IN HIS EAR, IN HIS NOSE,
FOR AN OHIO STATE GAME.
Leif: DUDE, ALL YOU GOTTA DO
TO WIN THE TICKETS IS FIND
THE TICKETS IN THE POOP !
Bryan: THAT'S THE DEFINITION
OF A FOOTBALL FAN,
SOMEONE WHO'S WILLING TO DIVE
INTO A BUCKET OF POO,
THEN SIFT AROUND IN IT
FOR THE TICKETS.
I MEAN, I WOULD DO THAT.
narrator: NOT SURPRISINGLY,
DIVING INTO THE DUNG
TURNS OUT TO BE THE EASY PART.
man: YEAH !
( cheering )
man: HE'S GOT IT !
HE'S GOT IT !
Michel: HE PULLS SOMETHING OUT,
HE LOOKS AT IT
AND TOSSES IT ASIDE.
AND THEN HE GOES BACK TO IT,
AND SURE ENOUGH,
THOSE ARE THE TICKETS.
WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO YOU THINK
IT WAS IN THERE ?
Brad: "LOOK, I GOT
"FOOTBALL TICKETS
"AND HEPATITIS !
SWEET !"
man: ( mumbling )
Judy: AND YOU KNOW
WHAT I HEARD ?
THEY WERE ( bleep ) SEATS !
( choking noises )
narrator: THIS IS AUSTRALIA'S
PREMIER AMATEUR STUNTMAN:
39-YEAR-OLD MR. INFERNO.
mock commentator: G'DAY.
narrator: HIS SPECIALTY
IS GETTING ON A BIKE,
LIGHTING HIMSELF ON FIRE
AND JUMPING ONTO A PILE
OF MATTRESSES.
BUT WHEN HE ATTEMPTS THE STUNT
ON THIS DAY...
mock commentator: HOT, HOT,
HOT, HOT !
( groaning )
narrator: HE MISSES THE PILE
OF MATTRESSES.
Tonya: THIS IS JUST
A COMPLETE IDIOT, OKAY ?
Chuck: ANY FOOL CAN SET HIMSELF
ON FIRE AND FALL OFF
OF AN ELEVATED STRUCTURE.
THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS
MAKE IT TO THE MATTRESS, MISTER.
Nick: HE'S ON FIRE-- YOU MIGHT
WANNA LAND IN WATER, RIGHT ?
NO, HE'S GOT MATTRESSES.
HAS THIS GUY EVER HEARD
ABOUT PEOPLE SMOKING IN BED ?
narrator: THE UNFORTUNATE EVENT
WAS WITNESSED BY DOZENS:
INCLUDING HIS 13-YEAR-OLD SON,
WHO WAS TAPING THE WHOLE THING.
Ron: WHAT'S DUMBER ?
LIGHTING YOURSELF ON FIRE
OR HAVING YOUR KID TAPE YOU
WHILE YOU'RE DOING IT ?
Bryan: I LOVE YOU, KID.
YOUR DAD'S ON FIRE,
RUNNING AROUND IN A CIRCLE,
AND YOU KEPT FILMING.
Brad: PUT THE CAMERA DOWN,
AND GO PUT DADDY OUT !
narrator: MR. INFERNO
SUFFERED A BROKEN NOSE--
AND A GOOD AMOUNT OF SHAME.
Danny: I DIDN'T HAVE
TO WATCH THIS WHOLE CLIP TO KNOW
THIS WAS GONNA TURN OUT BADLY.
THERE'S A COUPLE OF KEY WORDS:
"39 YEARS OLD," "BICYCLE,"
"ON FIRE."
YOU'RE AN IDIOT !
narrator: COMING UP...
mock commentator: CAVIAR !
narrator: HARD TIMES IN RUSSIA.
mock commentator:
VLADIMIR PUTIN ! GORBACHEV !
STOLICHNAYA !
narrator: PLUS, MORE FROM
OUR CELEBRITY PANEL.
Danny: WHEN I SEE A GUY
IN SHORT PANTS
SKIING DOWN A ROCK MOUNTAIN,
I WANT THE WORST FOR HIM.
narrator: WHEN
narrator: When "The World's
Dumbest Daredevils" continues.
narrator: IT'S THE DEAD
OF SUMMER IN RUSSIA,
AND TWO SKIERS DRIVE UP
TO A GRAVEL PIT.
AFTER CHECKING OUT
THE TERRAIN...
mock commentator: IT'S GOOD.
narrator: THEY SUIT UP,
HIKE TO THE TOP OF THE SLOPE
AND BEGIN THEIR RUN.
mock commentator: GORBACHEV !
STOLICHNAYA ! ODESSA !
Brad: IF YOU'RE GONNA
SKI ON ROCK,
MAYBE SHORTS AREN'T THE BEST
WARDROBE CHOICE THAT DAY.
mock commentator:
VLADIMIR PUTIN !
Danny: I DON'T LIKE SKIING,
SO WHEN I SEE A GUY
IN SHORT PANTS
SKIING DOWN A ROCK MOUNTAIN,
I WANT THE WORST FOR HIM.
( speaking Russian )
Michel: THIS IS ONE OF
THESE SPORTS WHERE YOU'RE
ACTUALLY ROOTING
FOR THE GRAVEL HILL.
( speaking Russian )
Michel: RIP SOME FLESH
OFF THESE GUYS, LET'S GO.
mock commentator: ANNA KARENINA.
UGH... TCHAIKOVSKY !
Loni: IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES
UNTIL SOMEBODY
NEEDS A SKIN GRAFT.
Nick: HE'S THINKING TO HIMSELF,
"HOW CAN I GET A RASPBERRY
ON MY NIPPLES, NECK AND KNEES ?"
mock commentator: KASPAROV !
VLADIMIR ! DOSTOEVSKY !
Bryan: I CAN GIVE YOU
THE SAME SENSATION.
JUST GIVE ME A BAT AND A SANDER,
AND I'LL TAKE IT TO YOUR SKIN.
IT FEELS GREAT !
narrator: BUT EVEN
FACE-PLANTING INTO THE DIRT
WON'T STOP
THESE HARD-CORE RUSSKIES.
PRETTY SOON, THEY'RE ON
THEIR WAY BACK UP...
FOR MORE.
mock commentator: NYET !
I CAN'T WAIT FOR BORSCHT AT
THE END OF THIS TRAIL, COMRADE.
Danny: I WISH I WAS AT
THE BOTTOM OF THAT HILL, SO WHEN
HE FINALLY STOPS ROLLING,
I COULD JUST PUNCH HIM
IN THE FACE !
mock commentator:
SAINT PETERSBURG, LENIN,
BORIS YELTSIN !
Chuck: HERE'S A MESSAGE TO
ANYONE WHO LIVES IN A PLACE
WHERE SNOW GOES AWAY
IN THE SUMMERTIME:
GO SOMEPLACE COLD AND SKI.
Judy: YOU KNOW WHAT ?
MOVE TO ( bleep ) ALASKA,
YOU IDIOT !
mock commentator: CAVIAR !
narrator: SKIING WITHOUT SNOW
IS ALSO ENJOYED IN CANADA.
HERE, TRICK SKIERS
LAUNCH THEMSELVES OFF A RAMP
AND ONTO A MAT.
mock commentator: WHOA !
HO-HO-HO !
Loni: ARE THEY SO BORED
IN CANADA THAT THEY JUST COME UP
WITH STUPID STUFF TO DO ?
narrator: BUT FOR
A SUCCESSFUL SHOW,
YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
CHEAP OUT ON THE EQUIPMENT.
mock commentator: WHOA !
HO-HO-HO-HO !
Tonya: OH, THAT MUST'VE
REALLY HURT.
Todd: HE HIT THAT WOOD,
AND THAT WOOD JUST BROKE
RIGHT IN HALF,
AND HE WENT STRAIGHT THROUGH IT.
Brad: WHY DON'T YOU JUST WAIT
'TIL IT SNOWS TO SKI,
( bleep ) ?
MAYBE THEN YOU WON'T
EAT THE RAMP.
mock commentator: HO-HO-HO-HO !
Bryan: YOU KNOW, JUMPING
IN THE AIR, OFF THE RAMP,
IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY.
SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO JUST
KINDA COME DOWN AND CRASH
AND THEN FALL OVER.
THAT'S ANOTHER TYPE OF JUMP.
Mickey: THE THING THAT CONCERNED
ME HERE-- THIS WAS NOT
A BIG-BUDGET OPERATION.
I MEAN, IT LOOKED LIKE SOMETHING
TO BE SET OUTSIDE OF A K-MART
AT AN OPENING.
Bryan: WHAT I LIKED IS
THAT WHEN HE MADE THAT
RIDICULOUS NON-JUMP,
HE WAS LYING DOWN,
AND HE STUCK HIS HAND OUT
LIKE THAT IN VICTORY.
"YEAH, I'M AN IDIOT,
BUT I STILL RULE !"
Brad: THAT WAS HIS BIG FINALE.
JUST TAKE A FACE-FIRST DIGGER
INTO THE FRONT OF THE RAMP.
"THAT'S ALL, FOLKS !
"HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
ENJOY THE WEEKEND."
mock commentator: WHOA !
HO-HO-HO !
narrator: AT THE NATIONAL FINALS
RODEO IN LAS VEGAS,
THREE-TIME WORLD-CHAMPION
BULL RIDER TUFF HEDEMAN
IS ABOUT TO TAKE ON
ONE OF THE FIERCEST BULLS
HE'S EVER RIDDEN.
THE RIDERS TIE ONE HAND
ONTO A ROPE THAT GOES AROUND
THE BULL'S CHEST.
TONIGHT, TUFF DOES
A REALLY GOOD JOB
TYING IN HIS HAND.
mock commentator: WHOA, WHOA--
HO-HO-HO !
Loni: WHAT KINDA KNOT
DID HE TIE ?
mock commentator: OKAY, OKAY--
Leif: TUFF GOT A LITTLE TOUGH
ON HIMSELF AND CINCHED IT DOWN
A LITTLE TOO MUCH.
SILLY, SILLY BOY.
mock commentator: OKAY, OKAY,
OKAY !
Brad: FIRST OF ALL,
NICE GLITTER CHAPS, ( bleep ).
WHO WEARS PINK, SEQUIN,
AND BLACK LEATHER CHAPS
TO A RODEO ?
mock commentator: SEXY CHAPS.
Brad: IF I WERE THAT BULL,
I WOULDN'T WANT HIM ON MY BACK.
YOU'VE GOT THE VILLAGE PEOPLE
RIDING YOU-- THAT'S NO FUN.
mock commentator: OKAY, OKAY !
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY !
Bryan: TUFF, WAIT,
JUST WHISPER IN HIS EAR.
JUST SAY SOOTHING THINGS
IN HIS EAR, IT'LL CALM THE BULL.
"I'M SO SORRY, BULL,
"I'M SO SORRY FOR
THE PAIN I'VE CAUSED YOU."
OKAY, THAT'S NOT WORKING.
Chuck: I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU SAY.
YOU ARE NOT TOUGH, TUFF,
WHEN IT TAKES TEN RODEO CLOWNS
DRESSED IN DRAG TO STOP THE BULL
FROM KICKING YOUR ***.
narrator: TUFF ESCAPED
THE INCIDENT WITH NOTHING
BUT A SORE WRIST.
Judy: YOU'RE AN IDIOT,
YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE
A ( bleep ) CLOWN,
YOU'RE ON A BULL,
YOU DESERVE TO GET YOUR
STUPID HAND CAUGHT IN THE THING.
mock commentator: AIN'T
NOTHING BUT A TYPICAL THING--
I STAYED ON, DIDN'T I ?
narrator: *** ATLANTIC
AIRLINES OWNER
SIR RICHARD BRANSON IS KNOWN FOR
BEING A BIT OF A DAREDEVIL.
mock commentator: HA-HA-HA !
WHEE !
I'M IN A SPACESUIT !
narrator: SO WHEN HIS AIRLINE
STARTED FLYING
FROM SAN FRANCISCO TO LAS VEGAS,
HE DECIDED TO PROMOTE IT
BY GOING TO VEGAS,
DRESSING UP IN A NICE TUXEDO
AND MAKING A 407-FOOT JUMP
FROM THE ROOF OF
THE PALMS CASINO HOTEL.
mock commentator: VERY HIGH UP !
Nick: WHAT BETTER WAY
TO PROMOTE AN AIRLINE
THAN TO PLUMMET TO THE EARTH
AT 200 MILES AN HOUR ?
mock commentator: HELLO !
( groaning )
BLOODY, BLOODY, BLOODY !
Loni: HE HIT HIS BUTT,
LOOK AT HIM !
mock commentator: OH, JEEZ,
THAT'S MY CHEEK.
Loni: HE'S TRYING
TO PLAY IT OFF NOW
LIKE HE'S NOT IN PAIN.
"OH, MY *** HURT !"
mock commentator: ( groaning )
Danny: WHY DO YOU
CONTINUE STUPID STUNTS
THAT YOU FAIL AT ?
mock commentator: CHEEK HURTS !
Brad: WHY ARE YOU IN A TUXEDO
AND A HARNESS ?
YOU ARE NOT JAMES BOND.
YOU'RE AN OLD, PASTY,
BLONDE-HAIRED BRITISH DUDE
WITH CHICLETS FOR TEETH.
mock commentator: I'VE GOT
NO DENTIST !
Brad: TAKE YOUR MONEY
AND GO HOME.
mock commentator: THERE GOES
THAT TUX.
narrator: DESPITE
THE BOTCHED STUNT
AND A BRUISED BEHIND,
SIR RICHARD MANAGES TO PUT ON
A BRAVE FACE.
Loni: EVERYBODY'S LIKE,
TRYING TO PRETEND
LIKE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
"GREAT, GREAT JOB, GREAT."
man: RICHARD, CONGRATULATIONS.
mock commentator: OH,
THAT HURTS.
TOO RICH TO BE HUMILIATED,
THAT'S OKAY.
mock commentator: OOF...
narrator: COMING UP...
19 BONE-BREAKING MOMENTS DOWN,
ONLY ONE TO GO.
( man groaning )
narrator: FIND OUT
narrator: When "The World's
Dumbest Daredevils" continues.
narrator: AS PART OF
A PUBLICITY STUNT,
A SECRETARY AT
SAN DIEGO SEA WORLD
HAS VOLUNTEERED TO RIDE
THE THEME PARK'S
MAIN ATTRACTION:
A FIVE-TON KILLER WHALE.
( woman whimpering )
AT FIRST, SHE SEEMS
A LITTLE NERVOUS,
BUT EVENTUALLY SHE SETTLES IN.
mock commentator: OKAY, THIS
ISN'T SO BAD.
narrator: THEN THINGS TAKE
A SUDDEN TURN.
( woman gasping )
Brad: WHAT DID YOU THINK
WOULD HAPPEN
WHEN YOU GOT IN A FISH TANK
WITH A KILLER WHALE ?
IT'S NOT CALLED A CUTTLEFISH.
IT'S A FRIGGIN' KILLER WHALE.
THAT'S WHAT IT DOES !
Nick: DO YOU WANT ANYBODY
PLAYING NEAR YOUR BLOWHOLE ?
I DON'T.
Bryan: AND WHAT DO
THE TRAINERS DO ?
"HERE, GRAB THIS POLE."
man: GRAB THE POLE,
GRAB THE POLE !
HOLD ONTO THE POLE,
GRAB THE POLE.
Bryan: THANKS A LOT
FOR THE HELP.
THANKS A LOT, DR. NO-HELP.
YOU GUYS ARE GREAT !
Michel: WATCHING THIS
HORRIFIC THING HAPPENING,
AND ALL YOU'RE THINKING IS,
MAN, I WONDER IF SHE'S GONNA
LOSE HER TOP.
narrator: CERTIFIED DIVERS
INTERVENE AND ARE ABLE
TO GET THE WOMAN
TO THE EDGE OF THE POOL,
BUT THIS ORNERY ORCA
ISN'T GIVING UP SO EASILY.
Todd: JUST AS THEY FINALLY GOT
THIS POOR GIRL ALMOST OUT,
WHAM, HE LATCHES ONTO HER LEG
AND IS LIKE, "WHAT'S UP, DOG ?"
Tonya: I MEAN, OW !
narrator: THE KILLER WHALE
FINALLY RELEASES THE LEG,
AND THE TRAUMATIZED SECRETARY
IS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL.
Judy: AND SHE GOT LIKE
100 STITCHES.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT ?
"DID YOU HAVE KNEE SURGERY ?"
"NO, I GOT BIT BY A WHALE."
Brad: I MEAN, ( bleep ).
WHOSE IDEA OF A GOOD TIME
IS THIS ?
Leif: WHAT A ( bleep ) MORON.
I'M SERIOUS, THIS ONE GOES DOWN
AS "BIG ( bleep ) MORON."
HOW DO I LOOK, OKAY ?
Judy: I JUST LOOKED AT HIM,
AND THIS GUY GETS LAID
LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE.
Tonya: CAN I FILM IT
SO I CAN MAKE
SOME MONEY OFF OF IT ?
Chuck: THIS WHOLE THING
DISGUSTS ME.
Tonya: EW !
Leif: I'LL DO IT.
GIVE ME THE MALE-- WHALE.
WHOA, WHAT ?
Bryan: ( bleep ).
YOU'VE GOT BEAUTIFUL ARMS,
THOUGH.
Judy: WHAT WAS THAT NASTY LOOK
YOU JUST GAVE HIM ?
Chuck: WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT ?
Bryan: YEAH, YOU GOTTA
GET A LIFE.
Brad: SHE STRIPS AT
THE PONDEROSA STEAKHOUSE
ON THE WEEKENDS.
Todd: THINGS YOU LEARN WHEN
YOU'RE OUT
DOING THESE SHOWS, BABY.
Danny: I RELAPSED.
I OPENED THE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE
AND CHUGGED IT.
Brad: COMEBACK'S GOING GREAT.
Danny: OH, YEAH !
Tonya: WELL, SERVES YOU RIGHT.
Brad: IT DOESN'T EVEN
MAKE SENSE, WOMAN.
DID YOU EAT PAINT CHIPS
AS A CHILD ?
Tonya: YEAH.
Todd: TWICE !
( Judy laughing )
Danny: THERE, THERE'S THE END
OF A PERFECT DAY FOR YOU.
HAPPY NOW ?
Bryan: GREAT TIMES.
Judy: THIS BETTER NOT BE
IN THE OUTTAKES
Captioned by Soundwriters™