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[clock ticking]
-Hey ! Minute Papillon(Hold on butterfly)... [bell ringing]
-Hold on butterfly !
-"Why ?", "How ?" : the most common existential inquiries.
Why are we on Earth ?
Why ? That's english.
Why do sleeping policemen never get a backache ?
Why ? How come when you scratch your *** wearing underwear, you still got smelly fingers ?
[disgusted sigh] There was no skin contact !
Well, I mean : I never tried, someone told me... That's him ! -Uh ? What ?
-Since the dawn of time, Man is trying to answer those questions he's asking and he doesn't like being out of answers.
-That's even why he turns to God
♪[Hallelujah]♫ -(God) The other side, *** !
♪[Hallelujah]♫
-Yes : God is the answer to questions which don't have one.
How was life created ? -It was God, my son.
-Why does lightnings strike down on us ? -Zeus is mad with us, poor sinners...
[lightning]
-Why am I fat ? -Hum because you eat non stop and do no sport.
[sobs] No no : just kidding... It's God who invented World of Warcraft... Not your fault.
-But why is there no Benco left ? -Well God doesn't have all the answers, does he...
God created the Universe... Now, it's the "why" that created God...
Therefore it's the "why" that created the Universe ! Yeah Yeah !...
Well, in fact : no, not true. It's a completely wrong syllogism.
A syllogism is a reasonning which based on two allegedly true assomptions
proves the truth of its conclusion.
Most famous example : "All men are mortal.
Now, Socrates is a man... Therefore Socrates is mortal."
-That's a killer ! -Logical.
But a syllogism can be proved wrong : it then becomes a sophism.
A reasonning that appears true, but which is in fact erroneous !
Nothing to do with "René" the name : "erroné"(erroneous) means "wrong"... It's not "René"... And even less "René la Taupe"(René the Mole) !
Sophism is abondantly used by politics to mislead gullible people !
-Madam Ferrari ! 53% of French people voted for me : Now, I'm in favor of increasing taxes.
Therefore, 53% of French people are in favor of increased taxes ! Madam Ferrari, yet it is clear !
-A syllogism can be a sophism, but not the other way around.
-OFF TOPIC ! [bam !]
PHILOSOPHY TEACHER ! ZERO(F) ! The theme was "Existentials inquiries" !
-Back to the whys and hows...
-To be sure, existential questions have been haunting us since the dawn of time... But they also confuse our children souls.
-And here, grown ups have different ways to handle this : There's the pragmatic...
-Hey ! Say daddy : how do babies are made ?
-Honey ! Come here : I need you.
-There's the one who thinks he's being soft...
-Hey ! Daddy ! How do babies are made ?
-Daddy goes to mummy, grabs her by the hair, flips her and--
-And the most common : the pathological liar !
-Hey ! Daddy ! How do babies are made ? -Well, you see, when daddy and mummy
want a child together, they call a stork and 9 months later they got a baby...
-Why ? -Uh, because the stork lives far away...
She lives in the Lavandou ! She travels hitchhiking, then she puts the baby i-in a cabbage.
-Eh, why ? -Hum, because she's shy...She won't knock at the door.
And more, can you imagine : "Hello ! I'm a stork !" And she will not leave it in the mailbox...
-Oh, I got a-I got a question : why ?
-Mailbox have no air vent, something worth knowing ! So if the baby is claustrophobic...
-Why ? -Well you know, nowadays, claustrophobia keeps spreading.
And also the... But do I ask you why do you wet your bed, little prick ? -Why ?
-Do you know that there is not just candies that can damage your teeth ? -Why ?
-It's just an image, to say that slaps can also make your... But why do I keep answering you ?
-Why ? [cries]
OK, I love you... Bye bye !
-♪Ah the crococos, the crococos, the crocodiles,♫
♪Disappeared from the Nile banks : don't mention them anymore !♫
-Sorry... -OFF TOPIC ! [smash !]
Subtitles by WebWisdom Subtitles English version by Vincent Chenal
-Did you know that Bernard Henri Levy is a real jerk ? Now, the philosophy teacher kind of looks like BHL :
Therefore the philosophy teacher is a real jerk !
-Hehehehe ! If he were a "faucon"(falcon = false jerk in french), at least he would fly, but here, not even that ! -Hehehehe ! You're too funny Père Castor (father beaver) !