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How to Deal with People Who Like to Start Arguments. Some people just love to argue.
Since you won't always be able to avoid them, learn some techniques for defusing the argument
and keeping the peace. You will need Understanding Defusing techniques Self-control Patience
Focus and a willingness to walk away. Step 1. Understand that argumentative people, especially
if they tend to become aggressive, have a deep-rooted personal problem. They like to
argue, and they like to win – period. Unlike people who enjoy the mental exercise of debate,
argumentative people argue because of the sense of power and control it gives them.
Step 2. Recognize that the person who started to argue with you may be this kind of person.
Begin to employ defusing techniques. Step 3. Don't get drawn into an argument or, if
already drawn in, try to win it. You won't – at least not without causing the argument
to escalate and possibly turn nasty. Never let an argument become personal by using words
that attack the person, and never say, "You are wrong." Step 4. Listen to what the person
has to say and don't cut them off, which will only anger them. Step 5. Use words that show
you respect their views and repeat their main points to show that you are listening. Some
positive phrases to use are "I believe what you are saying is…," "I understand," and
"Thanks for letting me know your opinion." Step 6. Use self-control and stay focused
on the issues being discussed. Don't let the person turn the discussion back into a no-win
argument. Step 7. If this person is determined to argue, say something neutral, like, "I'll
have to give this more thought," and walk away. Did you know Did you know? Researchers
have tied participating in high school debate teams with increased literacy and higher grades.