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Drumstick was born on September 11, 2001 out of his mamas ***. He was covered in ***
and *** (His mom had gotten cream-pied the previous night.) There were these two dicks
named Sunshine and Fergie, and they decided that double penetration in the Twin Towers
would be silly, so they crashed them with their cute little plane planes, and they went
bye-bye. His parents died. Anywhore, Drumstick was just a cute little *** when he discovered
the miracle of ***. He was at a retirement home crawling around looking up old women's
skirts and nibbling on their wrinkly *** flaps. "My goodness, we have a little explorer!"
said one of the old women. She took him into her room and good ol' Drumstick digested 3
gallons of *** goop that night. He used her expired *** for a pacifier and spit
up into her crusty ***. "What a gentlemen!" said the kind old lady. "It's been a while
since I've a young man drooling on my fat ***." "Googoo gaga," replied Drumstick. "I'll
whip you up a fresh batch of cookies honey," said the kind, and loveable woman. The manager
of the retirement home then burst through the doors. "What the *** is this!?" he said.
"You both are going to prison for life!" "He's just a newborn!" cried the old lady with sorrow.
"He *** EVERY woman in the retirement home," said the manager. "Well at least he knows
what he's doing you crusty ***!".... "That's it!" The manager said with a dog *** hanging
out of his ***. He ran up to the woman, and strangled her with her own ***. Drumstick
then clapped like a down syndrome patient, and tugged on his ***. The old lady died
after about 12 minutes of straight up strangling but her own saggy *** around her neck. "That'll
do laddeh, that'll do," Drumstick replied with an unfamiliar voice. "Wait a minute,
I know that voice!" said the manager. "You're Kim Jong Un!" "Laddeh, do ya have autism?"
Said the mysterious transformed Drumstick. "It is I, the ogrelord, Shrek!" He said with
a proud stance. "Now prepare yerself for a shreksual experience!" He pulled out a wing
ding the size of a water tower, and the manager knew what to do. "I'm ready Shrek, what needs
to be done will be done." "Shut the *** up laddeh, I need silence." He said in a quiet,
calming yet terrifying voice. He shoved his green sausage up the managers *** and out
of his mouth. He became one with his ***. "Holy *** Shrek, you might be overdoing it
bro!" He said as he was gargling Shrek's ***. "It's not ogre till I say it's ogre!" Shrek
roared. His onion juice flooded the manager's entire blood system, and the deed was done.
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.