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*Awesome Music*
When I was younger,
maybe fourteen, or
fifeteen,
I had this fear that...
God, this is hard
I had this fear
of *** in the shower
I was so afraid, that if I did,
there would be some one
maybe a desperate woman, that knew what i was doing.
She would go down into the sewer
and filter out my ***
and she would impregnate herself
and then there would be little sewer babies, these drain babies running around.
my drain babies
I didn't want to evade child support already.
hey, everyone, so since the last video I received a total of, one, suggestions for the next video.
it is now the next video i'm so disappointed in you but is ok
make me a nice dinner
And let me do that thing that you never let me do
and i'll take you back
i bet you're all so eager to find out what the next topic is.
well i don't think you deserve it
oh ok, i can't stay mad at you. So, the suggestion.
So Romeo and Juliet. We're gettin' classy up in this ***.
It's been a long time since I read this play. Hell, it's been a long time
since i've seen a book.
What is this? *thud* Damn you internet.
now this could be a lot of things
I could review the play. I could review one of the movies. Or i could be totally cynical, talk about
how society has ruined a masterpiece but karma comes back, and it's ruined broken self
destroys society
Think i'll just talk about some of the major parts.
Cause i would want to take up too much of your time. I'm sure you're a very busy person
procrastinating *** on the internet
So this is the opening that involves two star crossed lovers, taking their lives and ending
their parent's strife.
Thanslation: It took two kids dying just for two families to get over
the fact that one of them stole a cow one hundred fifty years ago. Spoiler alert! Why would i watch this
long *** play, when this dude told me exactly what's going to happen? Right,
because my teacher told me to.
did their deaths really end that fight? i don't see how
If you walked in on me dead with your daughter, you'd probably try to kill my dad.
Good luck finding him.
*Deep sincere laughter*
*Deeper, more sincere crying*
but i really don't see the importance of an opening monologue here.
Could you imagine if other movies did that kind of ***?
Man, I can't believe we finally get to watch The Sixth Sense. Bruce Willis is dead the whole time.
*Sad piano music*
*Sad piano music*
*Sad piano music*
This is the one that shows how brittle the peace is in town. Hell, the actual confrontation starts when one dude, asking another dude
if he's biting his thumb at him. and then he acts all coy.
because he's looking for a fight. and that *** hasn't died down to this day.
the smallest things start fights.
This is my wall.
And your *** just hit my shoe.
you got a problem?
I mean, have you been to a retail store?
knowing my audience, that's probably a yes.
people get yelled at for things that are so trivial Does your store carry any super inverted
electronic q-tip dispensers?
no...?
Wrong! You carry 'em. I seen 'em. You better
learn your stock!
and high school
don't even get me started
Hey, nerd. If a train leaves the station going 72 miles an hour, and it's heading towards Delaware, what time would it arrive?
That would depend on wh- Wrong! Right in time for me to kick your ***!
So then the Capulets have a ball.
Not that kind of ball.
and romeo and his pals show up in masks. With how things are
Wouldn't the Capulets be a little weary of letting masked people into the ball?
And honestly what were they doing there in the first place? Did they come to fight? Did they come
to take over? Or did they just come to get their drink on?
To be
or not to be
That is the ques- Dude! Wrong play!
I just don't see why they would have gone there when they could have just thrown their own party.
i mean could you imagine if a member of one gang tried to go to a
rival gang's party
you wouldn't go there to hangout and you certainly wouldn't go there, masked,
see a girl you like, watch her from around a corner, and fall in love with her.
And the she falls for him?
Maybe I should have just done a fetish video on Shakespeare characters.
And Hamlet?
He had necrophilia.
Ew, no. The scene where he expresses his desire and he goes to kiss her hand
While she's looking away. if you did that today you'd get your *** kicked
but this guy's the original *** bag.
he goes for a girl that has a guy, gets her from behind,
and doesn't take no for an answer. then find out that she is the enemy, and so does she
and he still doesn't stop.
Yeah, i guess i have to talk about this creepy scene too. Apparently the greatest love stories involve being creepy stalkers.
how do you think I got my wife?
it has inspired people in movies and in real life
to go to the house of their crush
throw rocks at her window until she comes out, and declare his love.
but imagine if this happened you and that the person that was doing it was that
creepy guy you once saw at a party. Oh, wait, that's exactly what f**king happened.
End f**king scene.
Cause they sure couldn't run away together.
So then what? Dig her up after they bury her? Yeah, ok...
oh, right, so apparently they didn't bury their dead
man these books really come in handy sometimes
okay so no graves
how convenient. Too many wrongful deaths. So we'll just let all the zombies and vampires
roam the streets. See and even today we still run away from our problems.
people still just want to die to get away from reality
They cancelled my World of Warcraft subscription.
They charged five hundred dollars for your veterinarian bill.
They said I
don't know how to cut boxes.
They said I shouldn't run with scissors.
Only three people
liked my Facebook post.
And I've got to say, that friar, also pretty creepy. Creepy.
Here, lady, drink this stuff that's gonna make you pass out for two days. And thus was born the first roofie. I didn't know friars were chemists.
Maybe they're just alcoholics.
so then she drinks the potion to slow down her heart, and she gets
not... buried.
Romeo walks in, thinks she's dead, and decides to drink poison. Where the f**k
did he get the poison?
I don't remember that part. ***.
has it really been that long, since I read this piece of crap
Kids, Shakespeare is awesome. Okay, so it was from an apothecary Totally forgot
I had the internet Take that book
Technology: One
Book: Zero.
Anyway, too bad his kiss didn't wake her up. Guess he isn't the prince charming she was looking for.
although she does wake up nine minutes later. And that the biggest snooze button fail
in recorded fake history. What?
It's a thing. And then since he's dead, she kills herself.
Imagine that scene when the townspeople show up. And that is why we now bury our dead.
That's the moral. End of play. Don't like it?
Go f**k yourself.
Honestly, I dislike this play. Perhaps I just hate how it's been portrayed.
Maybe because it's been forced down my throat.
But it also just goes back to whether we have destroyed a classic,
or if the classic has destroyed our youth Most people seem to think that they are
modern day Romeo and Juliet Girl wants to date boy. Father tells her no.
Girl feels suppressed, like Juliet, and then she tries to kill herself.
the main question I have about this one is: Do we control our art? Or does art control us?
Go make me a sandwich, ***.
And now a sketch. Honey! What?
Guess what... I'm pregnant!
That's great... yay... awesome...
Shut up! That's right. *Child gibberish* No body listens.
You don't want to see that side.
That's a different play.
and now I look retarded.
*Pathetic crying.*
Capulets ball.
Capulets ball.
Capulets bawls.
So then yu... So then yo momma sucks my bawls.
ah, f**k my ***.
The reason I say that is cause i thought i was recording. So f**k you.
I'm not really mad at you. It's ok baby, it's ok.
Oh, ***.
Ah, f**k.
You ok? you alright? You're fine?
You better be fine.
You're ok too?
God, f**k that's bright. Apparently the greates-
Blah blah.
F**k you. Blah blah.
And I lost my place.
F**k you iPhone. F*******k you.
in the ***.
Wow, it's really long.
That's what she said. No she didn't.
She didn't say that at all. I'm fine.
F**k my ***. That's gonna be my new phrase apparently.
F**k my ***.
Not going to put that on a t-shirt. That's for sure though.
Could you imagine that?
F**k my ***.
Little arrow pointing towards my ***.
I don't think that would work too well anyway.
Plus that's an invitation.
I'm getting off topic.
Where was I?
Don't forget to make suggestions
for the next video, or it'll turn out something stupid,
like this.
*awesome music*
*awesome music*
*awesome music*