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Dude!
Today, they arrive in Russia! For the premiere of their movies.
WT?!* To Russia? There aren't any movies!
Only communists and bears!
Hello! Hello!
Why are you here? To take Kenny or Kyle? Because he is a jew.
Shut up fat-***! Who the *** are you?
Call me Bissago, my dear children
I'll tell you about Russian cinema success.
Nobody called you! Go into your ***!
Exactly there we will go!
It stinks here.
Where are we?
We are in the 9th bow of the ***.
Exactly there, the Russian cinema was in the 90s.
This *** is much larger than yours!
Shut up! Imbicile!
In the 90s the country was destroyed.
The money had devalued.
One could only dream about movie fonds.
MosFilm was in crisis.
To survice regisseurs were forced to film any crap.
O.K. Let's go on!
Wtf? Aren't we not at home?
We are in the 8th bow of the ***.
Most of the cinemas of the 90s had run out of money.
Owners leased the space to furniture stores & car shows.
Domestic movies income was rarely over 100'000 $
One hundred? Cartman spends more on fat removal every month.
Shut up! You little jew!
And what's that?
That's an attempt of Russian regisseurs to make
something with dignity in spite of the overall destruction.
And? Did it work?
That you will fiind out now.
Hey! I've seen this on TV.
Oscars 1995
And Bissago on the scene
Bissago got an oscar and rises from the butt.
He is leaving the butt!!
Bissago killed Kenny!
***!
Hello! Hello!
And here I've decided to film my own "Sibirskiy Tsiryulnik"
And again I came back into the ***. Already on the 6th level.
Sorry, 6th bow. hmmm
Actually in the second half of the 90s the cinema started to revive
The bandits had to launder the money and so they came into the filmbusines.
What kind of bandits?!?! What should we do about Kenny?
Eh.. nothing kid, Just let it go! You'll feel better
and I'll film you in a movie.
Later..
We are on the 5th bow of the butt.
the year 2000 was there.
The new president charged the ministry of culture with
sponsoring of the Russian cinema.
Finally, the film directors started to "hirachit", so to say,
100s of movies a year.
In the coming 10 years,
we Russians brought to Russia, nine Venecian lions
New cinema theaters started to emerge,
which were technically on the highest standard.
Only in Moscow opened 530 cinemas
Don't suck on my balls!
Even in Southpark there are only two
one for families and one for adults.
Retired officers speek only the truth
My little piggy!
Now we are in the 4th bow.
were our cinema industry started to make own cash
In 2011, the total cinema market income
exceeded 1.4bn USD
And what's that?
Don't touch - otherwise we'll be at the 9th level again.
The Russian consumer had a new desideratum
to see his compatriots in the cinema movies
Hollywood answered with acceptance
The new Bond Girl was by Olga Kurelenko
Vladimir Mashkov - "American Rhapsody" and "Mission Impossible"
Konstantin Khabenskiy, Svetlana Khodchenkova
were seen in "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy"
I haven't seen most of these films, but "Mission Impossible" is crap
And Olga Kurelenka, isn't she from the Ukraine?
I don't know - It's your mum a ***, you know better
Come on kids, don't swear.
At last, are we soon home? I want to eat!
You always want to eat, you ***!
I'll sew you mouth, you holocaust victim
Fat boy is right, we are in the 2nd last bow.
Not only Russians started to play in the Hollywood films
but also do the movies themselves.
In 2008 a film came out - "Wanted", by Timur Bekmambetov
But the new pieces are produced by Tim Burton
Ups! What's that?
And this is Danny DeVito! He came to show his new film.
I've seen the trailer. Must be very cool.
Undoubtedly!
And I end my story now. Go home kiddies!
And how about you?
I already tried to exit once, but it wasn't possible. Now it's my house.
Especially after my two last movies.
And you go now.
Your mother!