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He's like..
What's Tom say?
He's like you say you want to get married, but you complain about me all the time
And how I never make you happy
And I'm like--- Duh, Tom do things that make me happy
I want to marry a version of you who does things
that make me happy
Soap operas
I know!
And now kids all they watch is like
Dora the Explorer
Yeah, or like...
Backyardigans.
Do you watch that? I watch that.
Like, oh?
I mean, it's a children's show, but it's really
it's quite smart
But yeah-- I watch that now.
I watch that now.
But when I was a kid, I was interested in like dirty things.
And I'm happy for that.
Because now I have all this inner texture and turmoil.
They lost Freud's remains.
Come again?
This guy in England
in a museum or mausoleum or whatever
tried to steal the urn containing Sigmund Freud's ashes
dropped it or something
And all the ashes, which were Freud and his wife
Ahhh!
Mixed together.
Their ashes were mixed together?
For eternity.
That's so sweet.
They were lost.
They were just lost?
I mean the vase cracked.
Imagine there was like a puff of smoke and then had to get a mop.
What if they executed that guy?
Sometimes I just feel like I"m on a greyhound for nowhere
Are you quoting Miranda Lambert again?
I love you for saying that, but Ross always loved Rachel
Even when he didn't.
He was always around
And always like looking at her out of the coner of his eyes
And I'm like, stuff like that
And Sam literally won't acknowledge my existence
But I know it's because he loves me
Make him feel like he's really disappointed in you as a human being
Not in a romantic way but in a deep, moral way
Coco?
Yeah.
I tried.
I know.
I love that you write about homosexuals in your children's book.
thank you
Maybe I should jus go marry Spiegel?
Snapchat guy?
Yeah.
Like how hot would that be.
But he didn't take the money.
But he has all that integrity
He probably feels like he has the world by the balls
I like that kind of hubristicness
You and I feel different about hubris.
You know what happened to Odysseus in the end?
And then he said I was passive aggressive.
Wah wah
You guys just need to like wrestle it out
*** ***
I hate all white guys in Brooklyn
I hate all white guys period.
Why wouldn't he know how to love you?
Or like I love you, but I don't know how I feel about loving you
Oh I get it.
Like I love you, but I don't know how to go about telling you that I
might love you
Or that I don't know how to reconcile with the fact that I love you, but that I don't
necessarily like you that much.
Or like I love you, but I don't know how to treat you like I even like you.
Exactly.
This makes me feel like a natural woman.
Ironically.
I thought it was like an irregardlessly thing.
People just being like oh that's ironical.
Yeah. But it's like that's actually a word.
I heard a really smart guy say it the other day and I was like
I guess it is real
I'm not sure if I can nap with this bra
I'm going to try though
You obviously have objects that are his
that you can call him up and be like
hey i have your wool sweater or whatever
I already sent most of it back
Why?
So stupid.
Then he played it for you?
Like on a guitar?
No just on his phone.
That's really...
Is that funny?
No it's really nice.
Tell me if this the text message of a girl who isn't into a boy
I just fed you like a baby
Those are so good
Good right?
You should also know how to literally tweak
In this day in age
I just spit triscuit on you