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>>> WELCOME TO "RED EYE."
I'M GREG GUTFELD OR AS I AM
KNOWN IN ARGENTINA, SANDY
DUNCUN.
LET'S GO TO ANDY FOR OUR PRE
GAME REPORT.
WHAT IS COMING UP ON TONIGHT'S
SHOW?
>> THANKS, GREG.
COMING UP ON THE BIG SHOW,
WHAT COUNTRY'S SPACECRAFT
LANDED ON MARS ON SUNDAY
NIGHT?
USA! USA! EVERYBODY.
USA! PLUS, WHAT COUNTRY'S
JUDO COMPETETOR GOT EXPELLED
AFTER TESTING POSITIVE FOR
MARIJUANA?
SAY IT WITH ME, USA! USA.
EVERYBODY, USA.
YOU PEOPLE SUCK.
AND FINALLY WHAT COUNTRY HAS
ATM'S THAT DISPENSE CUP
CAKES?
USA, USA, EVERYBODY, USA.
GREG.
>> USA, ANDY.
>> USA, GREG.
>> SEE YOU LATER.
>> SAD LITTLE MAN.
>> LET'S WELCOME OUR GUEST.
SHE IS CUTER THAN A BUTTERFLY
RIDING A DOLPHIN OVER A
RAINBOW MADE OF BLOOD.
I AM HERE WITH JEDEDIAH BILA.
SHE IS SUCH A DELIGHT.
AND SCISSORS REFUSE TO RUN
WITH HIM.
IT IS AMERICA'S FUTURE
FOUNDATION CHAIRMAN.
A CHAIRMAN OF THE FUTURE.
AND IN MAINE, HE IS CONSIDERED
BAIT.
IT IS MY REPULSIVE SIDEKICK,
BILL SCHULZ.
AND IF HILARITY WAS PIZZA
DOUGH I WOULD *** HIM.
AND HE DOESN'T KNOW A THING
ABOUT ANYTHING.
IT IS OUR NEW YORK TIMES
CORRESPONDENT.
GOOD TO SEE YOU, IRCH P --
PINCH.
>> RABIES MAY NOT BE 100%
FATAL.
NEVERTHELESS, I AM AFRAID WE
WILL HAVE TO PUT YOU DOWN,
PORCH.
>> BUT ME NO HAVE RABIES.
ME WAS JUST BRUSHING TEETHES.
>> I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT
YOU JUST SAID WHICH IS ANOTHER
SYMPTOM OF RABIES.
NOW SOMEBODY FETCH ME A GUN.
>> IT IS ONE ACT AND -- THIS
ONE ACT IS NOT GROWING ON ME.
IT IS THE OPPOSITE OF GROWING
ON ME.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
RAY BEES ?
SHOULD HE BE JUDGED FOR EATING
FUDGE?
A JUDO FIGHTER HAS BEEN
BANISHED FROM THE LONDON GAMES
CLAIMING HE UNINTENTIONALLY
ATE A POT BROWN KNEE.
HE IS THE FIRST OLYMPIC
ATHLETE THIS SUMMER WITH
GORGEOUS HAIR ALSO TO FAIL IN
COMPETITION DRUG TESTS WHICH
HE SAYS WAS, QUOTE, CAUSED BY
MY CONSUMPTION OF FOOD THAT I
DID NOT REALIZE HAD BEEN BAKED
WITH MARIJUANA.
BEFORE HE LEFT, APPARENTLY FOR
THE OLYMPICS, A REP FROM THE
INTERNATIONAL OLYMPIC
COMMITTEE HAD THIS TO SAY
ABOUT THE PERFORMANCE
ENHANCING POT BROW KNEE.
>> HE TOOK THE SUBSTANCE, AND
YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER BY THE
WAY I WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT THIS
PARTICULAR CASE, BUT SOMETIMES
PEOPLE TAKE SUBSTANCES FOR
OTHER REASONS, AND IT MAY BE
COMMON OR WHATEVER.
>> WELL, HIS HEAD IS GIANT
COMPARED TO ALL OF THAT STUFF
IN THE BACKGROUND.
HE HAS A GIANT HEAD.
>> FOR MORE, LET'S GO TO RED
OI OLYMPIC CORRESPONDENT WHO
IS LIVE IN LONDON.
A REMINDER TO VIEWERS AT HOME,
THERE MAY BE A SMALL SATELLITE
DELAY.
MIKE, ARE YOU THERE?
>> THANKS, GREG.
I AM HERE LIVE IN LONDON, HOME
OF THE 2012 LONDON OLYMPIC
GAMES.
>> WHAT IS THE LATEST ON THE
JUDO ATHLETE AND THE BROW
KNEES?
BROWNIES?
>> GREG, IT IS PUNISHMENT AND
HOPES TO COMPETE IN THE U.S.
THE GREAT BEARDED DRAGONS ARE
SPEAKING OVERALL OF US AS WE
SPEAK.
>> MIKE, WHAT HAS BEEN THE
RESPONSE IN LONDON?
>> THANKS, GREG.
THE UNITED STATES OLYMPIC
COMMITTEE IS COMMITTED TO
CLEAN PLAY.
ALSO, THE LEGION OF THE LIZARD
HAS FINALLY ACCEPTED ME AS ONE
OF THEIR OWN.
>> ARE YOU OKAY, MIKE?
WHAT ARE YOU EATING THERE?
>> HI, GREG.
I AM HONORED TO BE HERE IN
LONDON.
SOON WE WILL BECOME ONE ON TOP
OF THE TREE HOUSE CASTLE.
>> MIKE, WHERE DID YOU GET
THOSE BROWN KNEES?
>> THAT'S IT FROM LONDON.
I WANT TO SUCK ON YOUR EAR
LOBE.
>> HE REALLY IS AN AS -- DASH
*** -- ASSET TO WHAT EVER HE
HAS BEEN DOING.
>> SO THIS GUY HAD MARIJUANA
IN HIS SYSTEM.
COULD THAT ACTUALLY ENHANCE
HIS PERFORMANCE?
>> IT COULD NOT.
MARIJUANA DOESN'T ENHANCE
ANYTHING, RIGHT?
WHY IS IT EVEN ON THE LIST OF
THINGS?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION
THAT BECAUSE MARIJUANA SLOWS
YOU DOWN THAT IN FACT WHEN YOU
START PARTICIPATING -- LIKE
SAY YOU PRACTICE ON MARIJUANA,
AND THEN YOU COMPETE NOT ON
MARIJUANA.
SO IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE
REMOVING ANKLE WEIGHTS.
>> THAT COULD BE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, THE THING IS I
AM A LITTLE TIRED OF ALL OF
THIS TESTING.
IT IS GETTING CRAZY.
THEY HAVE BEEN AFTER LANCE
AURAL STRONG.
LEAVE HIM ALONE.
IF HE WON THE TOUR DE FRANCE,
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO
CHANGE YOUR BLOOD DURING THE
TOUR DE FRANCE?
THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE SAYING HE
DID IT.
>> THAT IS TRUE.
HE TURNED THE TOUR DE FRANCE
INTO A REAL SPORT.
IT IS LIKE PACKING YOUR
LUGGAGE WHILE BEING ON A
BIKE.
THAT'S INSANE.
>> JEDEDIAH, YOU ARE SUCH A
POTHEAD.
YOU DON'T EVEN PUT POT IN YOUR
BROWN KNEES.
YOU PUT POT IN YOUR BROWNIES.
>> I AM A POT ***.
>> ARE YOU?
>> I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
POT OR OTHER KINDS OF DRUGS.
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW
THIS GUY DIDN'T KNOW THE STUFF
HAD POT IN IT.
I DON'T THINK HE WAS GOING TO
WHOLE FOODS AND MYSTERIOUSLY
POT WAS WINDING UP.
HE HAD TO BE AWARE.
I THINK HE MAKES A GOOD
POINT.
IT COULD BE LIKE HAVING LEG
WEIGHTS ON.
YOUR REFLEXES ARE SLOWER AND
THEN YOU ARE HYPER AWARE.
THAT'S INTUITIVE ON YOUR
PART.
>> LET'S FACE IT.
YOU SAW HIS HAIR.
HE HAS GREAT HAIR.
A GUY LIKE THAT WITH GREAT
HAIR DOESN'T EAT POT BROWNIES
BY ACCIDENT.
HE EATS POT BROWNIES ALL THE
TIME.
>> SO IS MICHAEL PHELPS WHICH
MAKES WHAT HE DOES MORE
INCREDIBLE.
HOW DO YOU GET SO MANY GOLD
MEDALS AND YOU ARE HIGH
LITERALLY ALL THE TIME?
THAT'S A HUGE DEAL.
>> BUT DIDN'T -- DIDN'T THE
NBA PLAYERS USED TO PRACTICE
***?
>> I DON'T THINK THAT HELPS
THEIR GAME.
I HAVE NEVER MET A --
>> THEY HAVE THESE BURSTS OF
ENERGY.
NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE.
I THINK THERE SHOULD BE LIKE
AN ALL DRUG OLYMPICS.
I AM NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO
PUT THIS OUT THERE.
I JUST IMAGINE HUSSEIN BOLT ON
HGH AND *** LIKE RUNNING
THE HUNDRED METER DASH IN LIKE
2.9 SECONDS.
>> BUT THEN YOU WOULD HAVE A
HEART ATTACK.
DID YOU EVER RUN ON ***?
>> NO BATH SALTS.
>> DRUGS ARE JUST ONE PART OF
PERFORMANCE OF THE THEY SAY
THAT -- I KNOW THAT STEROIDS
ENHANCE PERFORMANCE, BUT SO
DOES YOUTH.
YOU ARE 38 YOU SHOULD BE
ABLE TO TAKE STEROIDS.
>> AND WHAT ABOUT MEDICAL
MARIJUANA.
I WONDER IF YOU WOULD BE
EXEMPT.
>> WHAT IF YOU WERE TAKING
FROM MEDICINAL PURPOSES.
YOU COULD USE IT AS AN
EXCUSE.
>> HE LOOKED TO ME LIKE HE HAD
SOME GLAUCOMA.
>> ARE YOU A YOUNG DUDE,
BILL.
TRY TO REMEMBER BEING YOUNG.
WHO EATS BROWNIES BECAUSE THEY
LIKE CHOCOLATE?
>> NO ONE.
NO ONE UNLESS YOU ARE AN OVER
WEIGHT KID WHO IS DEALING WITH
THE FACT YOUR DAD DOESN'T LOVE
YOU.
WITH THIS THE BIGGEST STORY IS
HE LOST ACCREDITATION.
I THINK 20 YEARS FROM NOW WE
WILL LOOK AT OUR VIEW ON POT
AND LAUGH.
HE WILL BE LAUGHING AS WELL
BECAUSE HE WILL BE ***.
THE NAME ALONE IS GREAT.
HE SOUNDS LIKE A BIT PLAYER IN
DAZED AND CONFUSED.
HE WAS ONE OF THE GUYS THAT
WAS WORKING ON THE CARS AT THE
PARTY JIE. HE IS GORGEOUS.
I LOVE WHAT PEOPLE SAY WHEN WE
SAY 20 YEARS FROM NOW.
I DO THAT ALL OF THE TIME
NOW.
20 YEARS FROM NOW WE WILL BE
LAUGHING ABOUT THIS.
>> NO BECAUSE WE WON'T
REMEMBER WE WERE TALKING ABOUT
THIS.
I WILL BE 50.
>> AND IT WILL BE OVER FOR
HIM.
>> I WANT HIM TO SWEEP THE
LEG.
>> THAT'S TRUE.
>> CAN HE DO THAT IN JUDO?
I GUESS YOU DO.
>> I WILL SWEEP THE LEG
ANYTIME.
>> I KNOW YOU WILL.
>> HE CLAIMS HE FEELS BAD FOR
BEING A CAD.
SO LAST WEEK A JERK NAMED ADAM
SMITH POSTED A VIDEO OF
HIMSELF HARASSING A
CHICK-FIL-A EMPLOYEE
BECAUSE -- YOU KNOW WHY.
HERE IT IS, HERE IT ISERS.
>> YOU KNOW I AM GETTING A
FREE WATER.
>> I DO NOT.
>> BECAUSE CHICK-FIL-A IS A
HATEFUL CORPORATION.
>> I KNOW, BUT YOU GUYS -- BUT
THE CORPORATION GIVES MONEY TO
HATE GROUPS.
HATE GROUPS.
>> I HAVE TO CHANGE THE
SUBJECT.
WE ARE ALWAYS HAPPY TO SERVE
--
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU LIVE
WITH YOURSELF AND WORK HERE.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
THIS IS A HORRIBLE CORPORATION
WITH HORRIBLE VALUES.
YOU DESERVE BETTER.
>> WELL, AFTER THAT VIDEO WENT
VIRAL A WORD I HATE, SMITH
LOST HIS JOB.
SO GUESS WHAT, THAT'S RIGHT.
HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO
ATTEMPT AN APOLOGY.
>> RACHEL, I AM SO VERY SORRY
FOR THE WAY I SPOKE TO YOU ON
WEDNESDAY.
YOU HANDLED MY FRUSTRATING
RANT WITH DIGNITY AND
COMPOSURE.
AND EVERY TIME I WATCH THE
VIDEO I AM BLOWN AWAY BY
REALLY THE BEAUTY FOR WHAT YOU
DID IN YOUR BEAUTY AND
PATIENCE WITH ME.
>> I LOVE IT ON HOW GREAT SHE
WAS RESPONDING TO HIM, AND HE
CALLS HIS RANT FRUSTRATING.
HE WAS NOT FRUSTRATED WHEN HE
DID THAT.
HE WAS ENJOYING HIMSELF THE
TWERP.
BUT HE DIDN'T STOP THERE.
HIS VIDEO IS ACTUALLY EIGHT
MINUTES LONG BECAUSE THIS IS
NOT A SIMPLE CASE OF ONE GUY
BEING A D-BAG.
NO, THIS IS AN INDICTMENT OF
OUR VERY SOCIETY.
>> FOR ME AND AT THAT MOMENT,
THE MAIN GOAL OF SUPPORTING
THE GAY COMMUNITY OUTWEIGHED
THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE THAT
RACHEL BECAME AND I LITERALLY
SAW RACHEL AS COLLATERAL
DAMAGE.
I -- WE HAVE TO STOP
RATIONALIZING OUR DESTRUCTIVE
ACTIONS THIS WAY.
WE HAVE TO START SEEING PEOPLE
AS PEOPLE.
WE WON'T MAKE PRAGUE --
PROGRESS OF PERSONALLY
ATTACKING PEOPLE.
I AM CLEARLY GUILTY OF THAT.
>> HE STARTED OFF AS I AND
THEN SAID WE BECAUSE WE ARE
ALL GUILTY OF THIS THING THAT
HE DID.
EVEN THOUGH HE WAS THE ONLY
ONE WHO DID IT.
AND ACTUALLY EVERYONE ELSE WAS
NICE DURING THIS WHOLE THING
EXCEPT FOR HIM BECAUSE HE IS A
BIG PIECE OF [BLEEP].
HE IS.
I HONESTLY -- YOU KNOW WHAT HE
IS TO ME JEDEDIAH, I REALIZE
THAT HEN CAPSULE LATES EVERY
ELEMENT OF MODERN SOCIETY THAT
HAVE GROWN TO DISMYSELF.
DESPISE.
THE WAY WE TALK NOW IS
POISONOUS.
THE SELF-ABABSORPTION THAT
EVEN WHEN HE IS WRONG HE STILL
MAKES IT ABOUT HIMSELF.
IT IS A STAR FOR ATTENTION
WHICH IS YOUTUBE HAS DONE.
IT HAS DRAWN THESE PEOPLE IN
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE FILMED
BEING SELF-RIGHTEOUS.
AND HE IS UNABLE TO
ACKNOWLEDGE SHAME.
THAT IS THE EPITOMY OF
EVERYTHING I THINK IS WRONG
WITH THIS COUNTRY.
HE IS LIKE A BIG BALL OF
BADNESS.
>> AND HE TALKED ABOUT A
LECTURE.
I FELT LIKE A BAD KID IN THE
CLASS.
HE MADE IT ABOUT HE WAS A JERK
AND HE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO TURN
IT INTO, WELL YES I AM A JERK
AND I AM SORRY.
BUT THIS IS MY COMMENT ON
SOCIETY AND WHY YOU ARE ALL
JERKS TOO.
LET'S TAKE A MINUTE TO PAUSE
AND REFLECT ON THAT.
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS A
GROWN MAN THAT ACTUALLY THINKS
HE IS THIS IMPORTANT, MADE
THIS VIDEO AND IS TALKING TO
WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY A MUCH
YOUNGER GIRL LIKE THIS.
>> THAT'S THE POINT.
WE HAVE LOST THE DEFINITION OF
GROWN MAN.
HE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT.
HE LOST HIS JOB BECAUSE HE
WANTED TO HARASS SOMEBODY AT A
FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT.
TOM, IF YOU ARE APOLOGIZING
FOR EIGHT MINUTES SOMETHING
TELLS ME YOU ARE NOT
APOLOGIZING.
YOU ARE RATIONALIZING.
>> I HAVE DONE IT.
I HAVE APOLOGIZED FOR MORE
THAN EIGHT MINUTES.
>> YOU DO IT LIKE WITH YOUR
WIFE WHERE ARE YOU APOLOGIZING
AND SAY, BUT THIS WOULDN'T
HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T
HAVE MISSED THE FLIGHT BECAUSE
THE REASON WHY -- EVERYBODY
DOES IT I GUESS.
>> HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT IN
THE MOMENT.
THAT'S THE FUNNY THING.
IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT --
WHAT WAS THAT MOMENT?
THE MOMENT WAS A LONG MOMENT.
>> HE WAS ABLE TO OPEN UP THE
MOVIE SOFTWARE AND USE THE
VIDEO OF HIMSELF AND POST-IT
ON-LINE, AND THEN HE SAYS --
"EVERY TIME I WATCH THE VIDEO
I AM BLOWN AWAY BY THE
BEAUTY"" WAIT A MINUTE.
EVERY TIME?
IF YOU DID SOMETHING AS
HEINOUS AS THIS WOULD YOU
WATCH THE VIDEO?
I WOULD NEVER WATCH IT AGAIN.
SHE STILL WATCHING IT RIGHT
NOW.
>> SHE PROBABLY WATCHING IT
AGAIN.
THIS THING HE IS WATCHING.
HE SAID HE NEVER PLANNED -- HE
IS A LIAR.
HE SAID HE NEVER PLANNED ON
SAYING THESE THINGS TO RACHEL,
BUT THIS IS ALL -- DO YOU FEEL
THAT THERE IS ANY PART OF HIM
THAT IS REMORSEFUL?
>> ONLY A LITTLE BIT, AND ONLY
BECAUSE EVERY TIME I GO
THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU I HAVE
MY CELL PHONE CAMERA RUNNING
JUST IN CASE SOMETHING AWESOME
HAPPENS AND I WANT TO SHARE IT
WITH ALL OF MY FRIENDS LATER.
THAT'S THE KIND OF [BLEEP] I
AM.
WAFFLE FRIES?
YES, THANK YOU.
>> BILL, HOW IS THIS GUY -- HE
HAS TO BE INDEPENDENTLY
WEALTHY.
HOW CAN ANYBODY HIRE THIS GUY
WHEN HE KEEPS DOING STUFF LIKE
THIS?
YOU WOULDN'T WANT HIM TO WORK
FOR YOU BECAUSE HE IS SO
ANNOYING.
>> HE IS NOT AWARE OF THE FACT
THAT HIS CAMERA HAS AN I HAD
DIT DIT -- HAS AN EDIT
BUTTON.
HALF THE TIME HE LOOKS INTO
THE CORNER OF THE ROOM AND
SEARCHES FOR WORDS.
YOU DON'T SEARCH FOR YOUTUBE
VIDEOS.
IT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN AS LONG
AS IT TAKES TO ORDER FROM
CHICK CHICK -- CHICK-FIL-A.
>> I JUST HOPE HE KEEPS DOING
THIS.
IT ENTERTAINS ME TO NO END.
>> IT IS LIKE THE MOON LANDING
EXCEPT THIS ONE IS REAL.
THE ROBOTIC EXPLORER CURIOSITY
HAS TOUCHED DOWN ON MARS ON A
MISSION TO LEARN IF LIFE EVER
EXISTED ON THE RED PLANET.
FOLKS, IT IS -- FOLKS AT THE
NASA JET PROPULSION LAB JUMPED
FOR JOY AT 1:32 A.M. MARS
TIME.
IT WAS ONLY THREE HOURS TIME
DIFFERENCE, SURPRISINGLY.
ONE DUDE SEEMED TO GET THE
NEWS LIGHT YEARS AHEAD OF
EVERYONE ELSE.
>> THE ATTEMPT IS GOOD.
TOUCHDOWN CONFIRMED.
WE ARE SAFE ON MARS.
>> THE LANDING WAS AN
ENGINEERING TRIUMPH.
THAT'S CURIOSITY CUT THROUGH
THE MARTIAN ATMOSPHERE.
IT IS 13 MILES PER HOUR AND
THEN THE CABLES GENTLY LOWERED
THE ROVER TO THE GROUND.
NASA RELEASED THIS VIDEO OF
THE HISTORIC LANDING.
>> YOU KNOW, I GUESS THAT IS
GREAT, BUT $2.5 BILLION FOR
THAT?
WAS IT WORTH IT?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> REALLY?
>> NO, NOT REALLY.
I AM AN INSANE LIKE UBER
LIBERTARIAN.
THE GOVERNMENT WOULD HAVE THIS
RESPONSIBILITY TO DEFEND US
AND TO THROW STUFF AT OTHER
PLANETS.
BUT BEING AN ASTRONAUT IS ONE
OF THE MOST -- ACTUALLY IT IS
THE MOST DANGEROUS JOB WE CAN
HAVE IN THIS COUNTRY.
>> YOU NEVER KNOW -- YOU WILL
NEVER KNOW IF YOU WERE COMING
BACK, BUT THERE WAS NOBODY ON
THAT THING.
>> NOBODY ON THIS PARTICULAR
ONE.
YOU HAVE LITERAL ROCKET
SCIENTISTS WITH ALMOST
UNLIMITED BUDGETS UNTIL WE
SLASHED IT.
AND YEARS OF PREPARATION, AND
THEY STILL MANAGED TO KILL
MORE PEOPLE THAN LIKE
RELATIVELY SPEAKING THAN COAL
MINING.
IT IS FRIGHTENING AND
TERRIFYING.
GO NASA.
>> THAT'S WHY I TURNED DOWN MY
ASTRONAUT GIG, TOM.
I AM A LITTLE DEPRESSED BY
MARS BECAUSE I GREW UP WITH
SCIENCE FICTION WHERE
IT WAS EXCITING.
MARTIANS.
YOU GO THERE AND THERE ARE NO
MARTIANS.
I AM PISSED.
>> I AM READING A LOT OF ART
WILL CAYS LATELY WHERE
PEOPLE -- ARTICLES LATELY
WHERE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THE
CLIMATE ON MARS IS EVIDENCE
THAT IT WAS -- OF GLOBAL
WARMING.
>> AND THEY WILL SEND PICTURES
BACK.
>> OH MOTHER EARTH WILL LOOK
LIKE THIS SOON.
>> AND IT IS NASA.
HE TURNED NASA INTO A BIG
GLOBAL WARMING OUTFIT.
>> IT IS PRETTY INTERESTING,
JEDEDIAH.
UNDER OBAMA WE SUCCESSFUL
LEYLANDED ON MARS, BUT I GUESS
JUPITER IS TOO FAR?
IMPEACH?
>> IMPEACH, ABSOLUTELY.
AND UNTIL THEY COME BACK WITH
ALF OR SOMETHING AS CUTE AS
ALF I JUST CAN'T GET INTO IT
AS MUCH.
>> BILL, WHERE DO YOU STAND ON
THIS?
IS THIS A SHOE IN FOR SPACE
ROVER OF THE YEAR?
>> I THINK IT WILL BE A SPACE
ROVER OF THE YEAR.
CALL TIME MAGAZINE IF THEY
EXIST.
THIS THING NEEDED A CRANE.
IT NEEDED A HEAT SHIELD AND A
PARACHUTE TO LAND.
AND THERE WAS A HUGE CHANCE IT
WASN'T GOING TO LAND AND $2.5
BILLION WAS GONE LIKE THAT.
I FEEL LIKE THERE IS NO BETTER
WAY PLANET EARTH CAN SPEND ITS
MONEY WE ARE DOING GOOD
THINGS.
>> THE ONLY WAY IT WILL BE
JUSTIFIED IS IF SUDDENLY THEY
DISCOVER MARTIAN COWS THAT ARE
DELICIOUS.
AND WE BEGIN -- ALL OF A
SUDDEN WE CAN EAT THE MARTIAN
COWS.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING TO
EAT FROM ANOTHER PLANET, HOW
GOOD ARE THEY?
INEVITABLY THEY WILL COME AND
EAT US.
>> IT COULD BE A FRIENDLY
ALIEN.
>> THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
>> IF THEY ARE ALIENS THEY
LIKELY WANT TO KILL US.
THIS IS IMPORTANT WORK.
WE HAVE TO GO OUT THERE.
WE CAN BE PREPARED WHEN THEY
COME.
JAY THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS
THINKING.
>>> COMING UP, DO TREES HAVE
FEELINGS?
NOT REALLY A STORY, JUST A
POST-IT NOTE HANNITY LEFT ON
MY DESK.
DOES DIRTY
>>> HE MADE MITT HIS MILLION
DOLLAR BABY.
IT HELPED HIM TO EARN A
FISTFUL OF DOLLARS SHOWING
EVERYONE HE HAS TRUE GRIT.
YET ANOTHER BIG HOLLYWOOD
ACTOR HAS COME OUT IN SUPPORT
OF ROMNEY.
CLINT EASTWOOD ENDORSED MITT
FOR AN IDAHO FUNDRAISER.
SEE FOR YOURSELF YOU
UNTRUSTING JERK.
>> BECAUSE I THINK THE COUNTRY
NEEDS A BOOST SOMEWHERE.
>> DESPITE TELLING FOX NEWS HE
DIDN'T PLAN ON SUPPORTING ANY
POLITICIANS, THE DIRECTOR NOT
ONLY CHANGED HIS MIND, BUT
SAID HE BELIEVED ROMNEY WOULD
RESTORE A DECENT TAX SYSTEM.
AND MITT JUST HAD TO RESPOND
WITH A MOVIE REFERENCE SAYING,
QUOTE, I'LL BE BACK.
BY THE WAY, CLINT, UPCOMING
ADVENTURE CAT SERIES.
>> WOW.
I CAN'T EVEN DO THAT.
>> JEDEDIAH, I WOULD PAY TO
SEE YOU DO THAT.
BUT I AGREE.
JEDEDIAH IS A MIDPRESIDENCY
ALL BUT A SURED IF YOU HAVE
DIRTY HARRY.
JAY HE HAS IT IN THE BAG --
>> HE HAS IT IN THE BAG.
I LOVE CLINT EASTWOOD.
I LOVE THAT HE DID THIS.
HE WILL PROBABLY BE
BLACKLISTED, BUT IT DOESN'T
MATTER.
I JUST WISH THE GOP WOULD GET
SOME YOUNG HOLLYWOOD.
EVEN WHEN WE GET AN
ENDORSEMENT IT IS IN THE OVER
80 BRACKET.
YOUNG PEOPLE -- I KNOW A LOT
OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW WHO
CLINT EASTWOOD IS.
YOU KNOW THE REASON WHY,
CAMILLE, IS CELEBRITIES HAVE
TO WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE
IMMUNE.
WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE 80 AND YOU
LOOK -- A LOT OF THESE GUYS,
AT THAT POINT THEY DON'T CARE
ANYMORE.
>> SO YOU THINK THEY ARE YOUNG
CELEBRITIES IN HIDING?
>> YES, UNDER THE BEDS AND IN
CLOSETS.
THERE ARE MORE CONSERVATIVES
IN THE CLOSET THAN IN THE
CLOSET JIE. THIS IS A POSSIBLE
THEORY -- THIS IS A POSSIBLE
THEORY.
I AM WILLING TO DO WHATEVER
THIS GENTLEMAN SAYS.
HIS MOVIES ARE FABULOUS, BUT I
HAVEN'T MADE UP MY MIND YET.
>> CLINT EASTWOOD HAS NOT
INFLUENCED YOU.
WHY ARE ALL ACTION HEROS
REPUBLICAN?
ARNOLD, SLY, MICK -- MICKEY
RORK, CLINT EASTWOOD,.
>> VICTORIA JACKSON.
>> SOMEBODY HAS A THEORY WHY
THE ACTION STARS ARE RIGHT
WING.
>> GUT THEY ARE GUT SEE.
>> MAYBE THEY RIM MIEWN
BECAUSE THEY HAVE -- MAYBE
THEY ARE IMMUNE BECAUSE THEY
ARE IN THESE BIG BUDGET
PICTURES AND THEY ARE
ESTABLISHED.
BUT IT IS TRUE THAT YOUNG
PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD CAN'T
BECAUSE THEIR CAREER WOULD BE
OVER.
THE ONES I KNOW -- THE GUYS I
KNOW IN HOLLYWOOD WHO ARE
LET'S SAY 30s -- UNDER 40,
WON'T DO "RED EYE."
WELL THAT'S THE REASON THEY
TELL ME.
IT IS BECAUSE THEIR CAREER
WOULD BE RUINED FOR REASONS
THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH
POLITICAL IDEOLOGY.
REMEMBER THE SUPER BOWL AD
WHEN HE WAS WRONGLY BOOSTING
OBAMA?
HOW HAVE THEY RESPONDED TO
THIS NEWS?
>> NOT RESPONDING.
THEY DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THE
SAME ANTHEM THAT WAS JUST ON.
THEY WERE ADAMANT TOO.
>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND HIS
ENDORSEMENT.
HE SAW HIM AS A GOVERNOR AND
THOUGHT HE WAS TOO HANDSOME
FOR THAT, BUT HE WAS TOO
HANDSOME TO BE PRESIDENT.
I THINK HE IS STARTING TO LOOK
LIKE THE OLD CREATURE IN
POLTERGEIST 2.
CAROL ANNE, LET ME IN.
>> I THINK ROMNEY SHOULD USE
HIS ENDORSEMENT AS HIS
SLOGAN.
MITT ROMNEY, BECAUSE THE
COUNTRY NEEDS A BOOST
SOMEWHERE.
>> THAT IS REALLY GOOD.
THAT IS REALLY GOOD.
I LIKE THAT, A BOOST.
>>> DO YOU HAVE A COMMENT ON
THE SHOW E-MAIL US AT RED EYE
AT FOX NEWS.COM.
AND TO LEAVE A VOICEMAIL CALL
212-462-5050.
STILL TO COME, THE HALF TIME
REPORT FROM TV'S ANDY LEVY.
SAD, SAD LITTLE MAN.
>> TONIGHT'S HALF TIME REPORT
IS SPONSORED BY RACCOONS, THE
ANIMALS WITH BLACK PATCHES
AROUND THE EYES AND A LONG
BUSHY RING TAIL.
THANKS, RACCOON.
>>> LET'S FIND OUT IF WE GOT
ANYTHING WRONG SO FAR.
LET'S GO TO ANDY LEVY.
>> HI GREG.
WHAT'S THAT?
>> NOTHING.
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
I WAS THINKING SOMETHING.
>> JUST CHECKING.
MY WEEKEND WAS GREAT.
THANKS FOR NOT ASKING.
AMERICAN JUDO COMPETETOR TESTS
POSITIVE FOR CANNIBUS.
THE CORRECT TERM IS ACTUALLY
JUDO CAW.
IT IS JAPANESE FOR A JUDO
PERSON.
WHICH I LOVE FOR SOME REASON.
>> IT IS A TRANSLATION.
YOU WERE I THINK TRANSLATED
YOU ARE MISERABLE MAN BOY.
>> PRETTY ACCURATE.
A LITTLE SHOCKED THERE WASN'T
A CAT REFERENCE IN THERE.
>> OKAY HE WHO NEEDS A PHONE
BOOK TO SIT ON A CHAIR.
>> TOM, YOU SAID MARIJUANA
DOESN'T ENHANCE ANYTHING.
CLEARLY YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN
LASER FLOYD.
>> IS THAT LIKE PINK FLOYD?
>> DARK SIDE OF THE MOON.
>> I THINK I JUST MADE A
30-YEAR-OLD REFERENCE OR
SOMETHING.
>> THAT WAS EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT
AT THE EXPLORE FOR YUM IN SAN
FRANCISCO.
THAT WAS AWESOME.
>> JEDEDIAH, YOU SAID YOU
DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THEY
DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS POT IN
THE BROWNIES HOW HE COULD
ACCIDENTALLY EATEN BROWNIES
WITH POT IN THEM >>-
Q. I ALL KIDDING --
>> ALL KIDDING ASIDE, I FEEL
LIKE YOU WOULD -- I FIGURED
YOU MIGHT ANSWER MY QUESTION.
>> THE THING IS, JEDEDIAH,
ASSUMING HE TOOK ENOUGH OF IT
HE MUST HAVE KNOWN --
>> HE MIGHT HAVE NOT KNOWN
WHEN HE ATE IT, BUT AFTER HE
ATE IT YOU WOULD THINK HE WAS
LIKE, OH CRAP.
>> SOMETHING IS IN THERE.
>> YOU CAN GET BELCHY WEED
AFTER TASTE.
>> I WOULD THINK THERE IS SOME
KIND OF SIDE AFFECT.
>> THERE IS NOT A PERSON IN
THE WORLD WHO BAKED A SHEET OF
POT BROWNIES AND DIDN'T TELL
EVERYONE AT THE PARTY.
>> LET'S MOVE ON.
>> CAMILLE YOU SAID THERE
SHOULD BE AN ALL DRUG
OLYMPICS.
DIDN'T THE EASTERN BLOCK
COUNTRIES TRY THAT DURING THE
COLD WAR?
>> DID THEY ACTUALLY TRY
THAT?
WAS IT ONLY THEIR TEAM HOPED
UP?
THAT'S NOT THE SAME.
EVERYONE TAKES THE DRUG,
WHATEVER COCKTAIL YOU LIKE.
THIS MAY ACTUALLY BE A BAD
IDEA.
>> BUT YOU WON'T KNOW UNTIL
YOU TRY IT.
>> I WOULD NOT COMPETE.
DRUGS ARE BAD.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> JEDEDIAH, YOU WOULD NOT BE
EXEMPT FROM IOC STANDARDS IF
YOU WERE TAKING POT FOR
MEDICINAL PURPOSES.
THERE IS A LONG LIST OF DRUGS
THAT CAN BE PRESCRIBED FOR
YOU, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM
AND COMPETE.
GREG YOU SAID 20 YEARS FROM
NOW YOU WILL BE 50?
>> YES.
>> I AM THINKING MAYBE 20
YEARS FROM NOW YOU WILL BE
BETTER AT MATH.
YOU SAID ADAM SMITH AND BODIES
AND EVERYTHING YOU TALK ABOUT
WITH SOCIETY AND THIS THERAPY
SPEAK.
WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE WHEN I WAS A CHILD.
THE WAY MY PARENTS USED TO
LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO OUT
FOR -- OH HE DID IT AGAIN.
TOM, YOU SAID HE APOLOGIZED
FOR MORE THAN EIGHT MINUTES,
BUT THE CORPSES DON'T CARE.
WHAT IS DONE IS DONE, TOM.
YOUR LITTLE 15 MINUTE SAW LIL
LAW WE IS NOT BRINGING THEM
BACK.
THAT SAID, I DO AGREE IN THE
HEAT OF THE MOMENT HE SAID HE
DIDN'T PLAN TO DO WHAT HE DID,
BUT HE HAD THE CAMERA OUT AND
HE VIDEOTAPED IT.
>> AND HE SAID, WATCH WHAT I
AM ABOUT TO DO WITH THIS
CAMERA.
THAT'S TRUE.
>> IF HE WOULD HAVE JUST
OPSTPED AFTER HE MADE THE
APOLOGY TO RAY RAY -- RACHEL
AT THE TOP OF THE VIDEO, IT
WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
IF HE CLICKED IT THERE, HE IS
FINE.
HE COULDN'T STOP HIMSELF FROM
GOING ON FOR ANOTHER SIX
MINUTES.
>> I COULD NOT WATCH THE WHOLE
THING.
ONCE I WATCHED AND IT WENT
BEYOND I AM REALLY SORRY, AND
TO SOMETHING ELSE LAND, THIS
TOOL IS GOING TO SAY ALL SORTS
OF OTHER THINGS.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> MARS LANDING, I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHERE TO START WITH THIS
ONE.KE THE MOON
LANDING, EXCEPT REAL?
>> YOU THINK THIS IS FAKE
TOO?
>> SERIOUSLY, WE CAN'T GO TO
THE MOON, HOW ARE WE GOING
MARS?
>> THAT'S TRUE.
>> IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
>> THIS IS THE OTHER THING.
MAYBE WE DIDN'T GO TO MARS.
MAYBE WE DID GO TO THE MOON.
BUT WE WERE LIED TO ABOUT HOW
FAR IT ACTUALLY IS.
THE MOON COULD ONLY BE LIKE
--
>> FIVE MILES AWAY.
JAY IT IS LIKE THEY PUT IT UP
THERE.
WE HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT IT IS
LIKE 150,000 MILES --
>> I AM NOT SURE IF THAT IS
REAL OR WHAT, BUT MARS IS
PROBABLY -- MARS IS PROBABLY
75 MILES AWAY.
>> TOPS.
>> AND IT IS NOT THAT BIG.
>> IT IS TINY.
BUT THEY HAVE TO CONVINCE US
IT IS REALLY BIG SO THEY CAN
SAY IT IS REALLY FAR.
>> THEY DO THIS ALL THE TIME
WITH STUFF.
>> IT IS ACTUALLY THE SAME
SIZE AS THE ROVER PRETTY
MUCH.
>> EXACTLY.
>> THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN
ILLUSION OF SIZE.
>> MY THEORY IS THAT THE
MARTIANS PRETTY MUCH
INTERCEPTED IT AS IT WAS ABOUT
TO LAND, AND THEN THEY JUST
FAKED ALL OF THE STUFF -- ALL
OF THE STUFF IS FAKED BY THE
MARTIANS.
WE THINK IT JUST LANDED THERE
AND THERE IS NO MARTIANS, AND
THEN ONCE WE START SENDING
PEOPLE THERE WILL BE.
>> I AM NOT SURE I LIKE THE
NAME CURIOSITY AS MARS
TRANSPORTATION.
I THINK IT SOUNDS A LITTLE
*** JIE. WHAT ARE YOU
CURIOUS ABOUT THERE ROVER?
>> YOU CLAIM THAT CURIOSITY
WAS NAMED AFTER THE SCIENTIST,
ROBERT L CURIOSITY?
>> YES.
>> HE DOES NOT SEEM TO EXIST
ON-LINE, AND IN FACT IN 2009
NASA HELD A CONTEST TO NAME
THE SCIENCE LABORATORY AND A
12-YEAR-OLD GIRL WROTE AN
ESSAY ON WHY IT SHOULD BE
CALLED CURIOSITY AND SO IT
WAS.
>> IT WOULD BE GREAT IF THIS
ROVER LANDED ON A BOX OF
KITTENS AND THEN THE THE
HEADLINE COULD BE CURIOSITY
KILLED THE CAT OF THE.
>> WHAT WAS THE TOTAL FOR THIS
ROVER?
2.5 BILLION?
>> THEY COULD HAVE SOLD THE
ONSORSHIP RIGHTS.
>> THEY ARE NOT THINKING
THERE.
>> I WOULD PAY THE $20 FOR
THAT.
>> GIVEN THAT A 12-YEAR-OLD
GIRL NAMED IT, JUST BE HAPPY
IT IS NOT NAMED BIEBER.
THAT WOULD NOT BE COOL.
AND LASTLY, GREG, YOU SAID
THEY LANDED AT 10:52 MARS
TIME.
>> MY PO NIE T --
>> DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS.
>> IT IS NOT THAT FAR AWAY.
>>-
Q. I IT IS IN THE EASTERN TIME
ZONE.
--
>> IT IS IN THE EASTERN TIME
ZONE.
>> IT IS IN VERMONT.
>> IN NEW YORK IT IS LIKE
HARRISBURG, PENNSYLVANIA.
>> SO YOU THINK IT IS SOUTH?
>> YES OF THE.
>> I THINK IT IS CLOSER TO
VERMONT.
>> CAMILLE, I SOMEHOW MAKE AN
EXCUSE FOR NASA MAINLY, BUT I
THINK IT IS BECAUSE WE NEED TO
MAKE SURE WE HAVE GALACTIC
SUPREMACY.
IT IS A PURE DEFENSE THING.
>> WE HAVE TO WIN.
THE WAR IS COMING.
>> IT IS.
>> WE ARE ALL SCIENTOLOGISTS.
>> CURIOSITY LANDED IN GALE
CRATER WHICH SEEMS RUDE.
>> HOW ARE THEY NAMING THINGS
UP THERE?
>> GAIL IT CRATER.
>> WHO IS -- GALE CRATER JIE.
WHO IS NAMING IT.
THAT IS UNFAIR.
>> PROBABLY 12-YEAR-OLD
GIRLS.
EASTWOOD ENDORSES ROMNEY.
YOU STARTED THE STORY SAYING
HE MADE MITT HIS MILLION
DOLLAR BABY AND HOPED TO EARN
A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS HOPING TO
SHOW HIS TRUE GRIT.
THAT WAS A 1978TV MOVIE WITH
MR. OTES WHO MADE IT INTO A
FEATURE FILM.
>> THEY ARE NOT THE BROTHERS
ANYMORE.
>> NOT ANYMORE, BUT AT THE
TIME THEY WERE.
>> AND MITT DID NOT RESPOND TO
THE ENDORSEMENT SAYING THE
STALLONE CATCH PHRASE "I'LL BE
BACK."
HE SAID THE ENDORSEMENT "MADE
MY DAY."
AND JEDEDIAH, YOU SAID YOU
LOVE THAT EASTWOOD DID THIS.
BUT WHY?
I DON'T CARE WHO GEORGE
CLOONEY SUPPORTS.
>> I LOVE HE DID IT BECAUSE
PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD NEVER
SPEAK OUT FOR REPUBLICANS.
I AM KIND OF WAITING WITH
BATED BREATH TO ALWAYS HAVE
THE GUTS TO DO IT.
I CONSIDER IT GUTSY.
>> EXCEPT IT IS NOT FOR HIM.
HE IS KNOWN FOR A REPUBLICAN
OR LIBERTARIANISTS.
>> I THINK IT IS DIFFERENT TO
BE A REPUBLICAN AS OPPOSED TO
COMING OUT AND SAYING I AM
ENDORSING A CANDIDATE.
I FEEL LIKE THAT IS A BOLD
MOVE.
I DON'T CARE -- I DON'T BASE
WHETHER I LIKE A POLITICIAN
LIKE A CELEBRITY.
>> I HAVE TO GO, APPARENTLY.
>> ABOUT TIME.
I THOUGHT THAT WOULD NEVER
END.
OH MY GOD.
THANK YOU, ANDY.
>> COMING UP, WHO LIKES TO
PARTY?
WE DISCUSS TOM'S NEW BOOK,
PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO PARTY
VOLUME 1.
280AD TO 300AD.
WOW.
WHAT IS A CUP CAKE ATM?
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, YOU WILL
NEVER UNDERSTAND AND I FEEL
BAD FOR YOU.
>>> THERE IS A QUEST TO LIVE
FOREVER.
SOME RUSSIAN GUY THINKS
IMMORTALITY COULD BE POSSIBLE
BY 2045.
I WILL BE 50 BY THEN.
IT PLANS TO BE INSPIRED BY
"AVATAR" AND REQUIRES
TRANSFERRING HUMAN BRAINS TO
ROBOT SKELETONS AND THEN
BORING YOU TO TEARS.
ACTUALLY IT CULMINATES WITH
HUMAN BEINGS ABLE TO WALK
AROUND IN HOLOGRAPHICAVATARS.
THEY ARE LOOKING FOR A FEW
BILLION DOLLARS TO MAKE IT
HAPPEN.
LET'S HELP THEM IN THE
LIGHTNING ROOOOUUUUUNNNNDD.
LIGHTNING ROUND.
>> IS THIS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
YOU GET DRUNK AND YOU HAVE A
SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE MARATHON
WEEKEND?
>> NO.
>> NO.
>> IS THIS THE ULTIMATE PONZI
SCHEME.
>> IT TAKES ME LIKE 50 YEARS
TO FIGURE THIS OUT, DO IT
NOW.
>> IT COULD BE A PONZI SCHEME
OR THE TRUTH.
SOONER OR LATER WE WILL LIVE
FOREVER, RIGHT?
>> WELL, I DON'T THINK THIS
GUY'S VISION IS ANY GOOD.
HE HAS THESE PEOPLE BEING HALF
MAN AND HALF MACHI.
IMMORTALITY IS SUPPOSED TO BE
SITTING BY A STREAM AND
SUPPOSED TO BE NATURE AND
LIFE.
THIS GUY IS -- HE'S WORKING
MORE OF A SCI-FI ANGLE.
I DON'T LIKE IT.
>> BUT THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.
IT STRENGTHENS YOUR LIFE,
JEDEDIAH.
MAYBE HE IS ON TO SOMETHING.
>> I HATED THIS IDEA UNTIL TOM
STARTED TALKING, AND NOW I
JUST KEEP THINKING OF "THE
TERMINATOR" AND I TOTALLY DIG
IT.
>> NOW I AM LIKING IT.
"THE TERMINATOR" HAD FEELINGS
IN " T-2".
>> HE COULD REPLICATE THE
FEELINGS, BUT HE DIDN'T FEEL
THEM HIMSELF.
YOU HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO
THE SCRIPT.
>> YOU COULD BE A GREAT SARA
CONNOR.
>> I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT.
IF SOMEONE IS CASTING THAT,
CALL ME.
I WOULD LOVE THAT.
>> AS A MATTER OF FACT, I AM
DOING KIND OF LIKE A WEIRD
TERMINATOR IMPROVE AT MY
APARTMENT.
>> I WANT TO PLAY THE KID.
>> YOU WANT TO PLAY THE KID?
I DO KILL THE KID IN THE FIRST
SCENE, BUT THAT'S OKAY
JEDEDIAH.
WHAT WOULD IMMORTALITY MEAN
FOR YOU?
WOULD YOU ACCOMPLISH MORE OF
NOTHING 1234.
>> THAT'S WHAT I DON'T GET.
THIS GUY HAS NOT GIVEN US
IMMORTALITY.
HE HAS MADE HELL REAL.
HE WILL DIG OUT YOUR BRAIN AND
STICK IT IN A GIANT BLUE BEING
WHERE YOU ARE WATCHING A
SCREEN FOR THE REST OF YOUR
LIFE UNABLE TO GET INTO A
HORRIBLE HELL YOU ARE IN.
DEATH WOULD BE A WELCOME
REWARD COMPARED TO THIS.
IT SOUNDS AWFUL.
I HOPE I DIE SOON.
YOU WILL, BILL.
SHUT UP.
>> I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO CHIME
IN.
HE HAS HIS OWN SELF-CHIMER.
>> I WANTED TO SAY I HATE THIS
IDEA BECAUSE IT WILL HAPPEN
AFTER I AM DEAD.
WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY WHO
IS DEAD AND CAN'T
PARTICIPATE?
IN CHICAGO THE HOME OF GREAT
FOOD LIKE THE CHEEK STEAK AND
PIZZA, HAS PUT IN AN ATM AT A
SPRINKLES BAKERY.
IT HOLDS 500 AT A TIME.
IT COSTS $4 EACH.
IT PLANS TO OPEN ATM'S IN
DALLAS, HOUSTON AND
WASHINGTON, D.C., GUARANTEEING
TYPE 2 DIABETES FOR EVERYONE.
TOM, IS THIS THING A FAD?
WILL WE LOOK BACK IN 2025 AND
SAY REMEMBER WHEN YOU WOULD
EAT CUP CAKES?
>> IT IS REALLY SICK.
>> IT IS TURNING THE WORLD
INTO AN AMUSEMENT PARK.
PEOPLE EXTENDED THEIR
ADOLESCENTS INTO THEIR 40s.
IT GOES IN WITH A SINGLE
CULTURE.
PEOPLE ARE SAYING, I AM --
REMEMBER THAT COMMERCIAL WITH
THE GUY ON THE SLIP AND
SLIDE?
>> AND THEN THE GUY GETS ON
THE SLIP AND SLIDE?
GET OFF.
GO BACK TO YOUR JOB.
DO WORK AND BE A MAN.
>> WHY ARE WE SEEING CUP CAKES
ALL OF A SUDDEN?
IT HAPPENED LIKE FOUR YEARS
AGO.
STORES ON EVERY CORNER.
WHY?
>> THEY ARE DELICIOUS.
AND IT IS LIKE A MINI CAKE.
YOU CANNOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT
IT.
IT IS A LITTLE CUP CAKE.
I LOVE THE IDEA.
I AM JUST CONCERNED ABOUT THE
FRESHNESS LIKE THE PIZZA
MACHINES.
>> BUT THEY MAKE IT THERE.
>> WILL THIS JUST BE USED BY
STONERS AT 4:00 A.M.?
>> NO, REAL PEOPLE WOULD USE
THESE CUP CAKE MACHINES.
I WISH ALL ATM'S WOULD GIVE
CASH OR CUP CAKES.
I LOVE CUP CAKES.
>> YOU ARE A CUP CAKE LOVER.
BILL USED TO DATE SOMEBODY
NAMED CUP CAKE.
>> I DID.
>> I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS A
WOMAN.
>> CUP CAKES ARE FOR KIDS
SSMENTS ENGLISH --
>> ENGLISH MUFFINS ARE FOR
ADULTS.
>>> WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.
AND ENGLISH FROSTING IS FOR
KIDS.
WHEN WE COME BACK, WE WILL
TALK ABOUT SOMETHING.
>>> ACCORDING TO A REPORT,
PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE ADDING
EXTRA DAYS TO THE CALENDAR
MAKING IT A TOTAL OF 200
DAYS.
THEY SAY CUTTING SUMMER
VACATION TIME BILL WILL HELP
STUDENTS FROM LOWER INCOME
FAMILIES BECAUSE THEY WON'T
FORGET WHAT THEY LEARNED THE
YEAR BEFORE.
BUT THEY SAY IT WON'T RESULT
IN MORE LEARNING BECAUSE THE
PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM IS
TERRIBLE TO BEGIN WITH.
AREN'T PARENTS FOR THIS
BECAUSE IT IS ONE LESS MONTH
THEY HAVE TO BE AROUND THEIR
SNIFFLING BRATS?
>> YES.
THERE ARE CAMPS.
ALL KIDS GO TO CAMPS.
WE NEED TO GET THEM BACK TO
SCHOOLING.
THEY SHOULD CAN SELL
SUMMER VACATION.
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT IT IS
CRAZY THAT WE HAVE THIS HUGE
TIME OFF.
>> ARE YOU RIGHT.
A LOT OF COUNTRIES DO THAT,
JEDEDIAH, BUT IT MAKES SENSE,
RIGHT?
>> IT WOULDN'T COST -- FOR
TEACHERS THEY GET PAID THE
WHOLE SUMMER TO DO NOTHING.
IT WOULDN'T BE THAT MUCH OF A
COST.
BUT IF THE TEACHERS THINK YOU
COULD HAVE KIDS IN CLASS TO 4
HOURS A DAY.
>> I DON'T CARE.
>> IT IS TRUE THEY FORGET
STUFF OVER THE SUMMER.
YOU TELL THEM SOMETHING LIKE
CAN YOU HOLD THIS BAG FOR ME.
THREE MONTHS AND THEY FORGET.
WHAT'S YOUR TAKE.
>> NOW THAT I UNDERSTAND THIS
IS ALL ABOUT WAREHOUSING
CHILDREN, I AM TOTALLY FOR
IT.
>> AND WHY CAN'T IT BE IN A
WAREHOUSE?
>> BILL, YOU ARE OWNED BY A
GOLDEN RETRIEVER.
>> I WAS ALWAYS EM PATHETIC BY
MY YOUNGSELF.
EVERY KNOW DAY WAS THE BEST IN
THE WORLDS.
NOW I NO LONGER SYMPATHIZE
WITH YOUNG BILL.
GET HIM OUT OF THERE AND OFF
THE STREETS AND INTO THE
SCHOOL.
NO VACATION PERIOD.
NO WEEKENDS.
DON'T WANT HIM ON A WEEKEND.
THAT'S WHEN I HAVE TO SEE
THEM.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM
IS, WE GAVE YOU THE VACATION.
IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE. IT YOU
WON'T KNOW BETTER.
YOU WOULD BE ARE MA OFING
THROUGH THE SCHOOLS AS A HAPPY
BOY.
>> I WOULD RATHER DO THIS THAN
THIS.
THIS IS BETTER.
>> I LIKE IT.
>>> WE WILL HAVE THE POST GAME
WRAP UP FROM ANDY LEVY.
TO SEE RECENT CLIPS GO TO FOX
FOX
>>> 5:00 P.M. EASTERN TIME,
NEXT TIME JOHN GIBSON, ANN
COULTER.
FUN.
>> NOW BACK TO ANDY LEVY FOR
THE POST GAME WRAP UP.
>> EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.
JEDEDIAH, HOW CAN PEOPLE KEEP
UP WITH YOUR HAPPENINGS AND
WHATNOT?
>> GO TO JEDEDIAH BILA AND YOU
WILL BE THE FIRST TO GET
MICHAEL WILL YOU PLEASE TO SEE
WHERE I WILL BE -- TO SEE
WHERE I WILL BE.
COOL PLACES LIKE THIS.
>> CAMILLE, WHEN IS THE ON
FLIGHT PREMIERE?
>> IT IS AUGUST 11th AT
MILLER PARK.
IT IS MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN.
IF YOU ARE IN MILWAUKEE YOU
SHOULD COME.
THERE ARE 30,000 PEOPLE 24R*
WATCHING THIS AMAZING
DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THE GREATEST
GENERATION.
BE THERE OR YOU HATE AMERICA.
>> YOU ARE LEARNING, MY
FRIEND.
>> THAT'S PRETTY STRONG.
ALL OF US HAVE JOBS.
>> NOT YOU.
>> WELL NO.
TOM YOU WILL BE IN CINNCINATI
DURING YOUR UPCOMING TOUR?
>> YES, CINNCINATI, TWO SHOWS
AT THE TAFT THEATER AUGUST
17th.
COME TO THE LATE SHOW AND HANG
OUT.
>> YOU SOUND LIKE YOU COULD
WORK IN A MORNING ZOO.
>> I WAS MORNING ZOOING IT
UP.
>> IT WAS IMPRESSIVE.
>> A LITTLE BIT.
>> BILL, ANYTHING TO PLUG?
>> I WOULD LIKE TO SAY HELLO
TO CINNCINATI, THE CITY OF
LIGHTS.
THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL IT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
BACK TO YOU, GREG.
>> THANKS, ANDY.
JEDEDIAH, SCHULZ, CAMILLE,
SHALOU.
THAT DOES IT FOR ME.
I'M GREG GUTFELD.
HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU.