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***: Charlie bradbury.
Charlie.
Charlie.
What's up, ***?
How does
a high-school dropout
become one of the
brightest minds at Roman, Inc.
?
Charlie: Historically,
I've had this problem
with -- with authority.
Is there such a thing
as a monster magnet?
When did you become
such an expert?
After you guys left,
I dug into all things monstrous.
I'm a wee bit obsessive
If "a wee bit"
means completely.
There is
a big difference
between reading about hunting
and actually hunting.
I'm --
I'm more hunter-in-training.
Totally
not worth killing.
Sam: You know,
you really should come back
and dig through
our archives.
You are definitely
a Woman of Letters.
I like the sound of that.
Larry: It is
the safest place on earth,
warded against
any evil ever created.
It is the supernatural
mother lode.
If knowledge is power,
then this is the most powerful
place on Earth.
Sammy, I think
we found the Bat Cave.
[ Door unlocks ]
[ Door opens, closes ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
Protocol's complete.
James Haggerty.
Peter Jenkins.
Did we do everything right?
Shouldn't
[ Electricity hums ]
Took three years
to build this dump?
Dump?
[ Scoffs ]
Dump?
Are you kidding?
Do you realize where we are?
This -- this dump is
the last true beacon of light
in a world gone
topsy-turvy.
This dump is the epicenter of --
of the ultimate chess match
between good and evil.
[ Sighs ]
What a dump.
You know, when I got
this assignment,
I thought there'd be,
I don't know,
excitement, adventure.
There's nothing worse
than adventure, my boy.
Trust me.
[ Telephone rings ]
Extension 765.
Yes.
No.
That's not the password.
There's protocol here,
young lady.
We'll be waiting.
We have a guest --
damn hunter.
Frank's kid.
Really?
Wow.
What he did for her --
t-that was really something.
He was something,
all right.
[ Door opens, closes ]
[ Thud ]
Holy buckets.
It's really you.
That's right, rookie.
It's really me --
Dorothy.
[ Groaning ]
Now,
which one of you geniuses
is gonna help me kill
the wicked witch?
Original Air Date on October 29, 2013
[ doors sliding ]
Hello, Moose.
You want more demon names.
[ Chains jingling ]
I want a room
with a view.
We can discuss this.
I'd settle
for stretching my legs.
***.
[ Sighs ]
[ Door opens ]
Hey.
[ Door closes ]
How'd it go with Kevin?
[ Sighs ] Oh, that little nerd is in a
lovely warded hotel room
in Branson.
He's got about 48 hours
of pay-per-***
and Kenny Rogers
ahead of him.
How's he feeling?
Well, he stared
at the Angel tablet
and repeated the word "falafe"
for the entire ride.
Kid's cracked.
I'm hoping this break
will, uh, clear his head.
You know, after everything
that happened,
I figured we could use
a little break ourselves,
so I, uh, picked you up
season one "Game of Thrones.
"
Figured we'd get a little takeout.
All right.
Well, first, I think I might
have found a way to help Cass.
Did you talk to him?
No.
And, by the way,
I still don't understand
why he left
in the first place.
I mean, the bunker
is the safest place for him.
Bartholomew and -- and who knows
how many other angels
are out there,
gunning for them.
Hey, look, nobody wants him here
more than I do, okay?
But, uh, he felt like
he'd bring trouble down on us,
so he had to split.
But if you got a way
to help him, I'm all ears.
All right.
So, Kevin said the table
lit up like a Christmas tree
when the angels fell,
right?
So?
So it turns out each light was
where a cluster of angels fell.
So I'm thinking maybe there's
some way to hot-wire this,
make it track angels.
That way, we could help Cass
steer clear of danger.
This wasyour idea?
Do you see
anybody else in here?
So, how would it work?
Oh, no idea.
See, at first, I thought the table
was the computer, but it's not.
It turns out
it's just part of it.
But I did find these cables
underneath, and I followed them.
You're never gonna believe
what I found.
VoilĂ .
This is a computer?
Yeah -- or it was in 1951,
when it was installed.
Now,
here's the crazy thing.
It's not plugged in
to anything.
I mean, I have no idea
what's making this thing work.
It's warm here.
[ Grunting ]
[ Metal creaking ]
[ Clatter ]
Got it.
[ Clears throat ]
Huh.
Well,
that looks simple.
Does it come with a manual?
Nothing in the archives,
and I obviously couldn't find
anything like it online,
not to mention I'm pretty sure
that the Men of Letters
doesn't exactly have
I.
T.
support anymore, either.
I think I know somebody
who could help us.
Come on.
[ Exhales sharply ]
So, what do you have to say
for yourself?
Nothing.
I cut out her tongue.
I've bound her,
but it won't last.
Wait.
You captured her all by yourself?
Yes.
Despite all my lady parts,
I managed to capture
the wicked witch.
Your father
would be very proud.
I mean, did you know that he --
Wasted my time with his words.
And I'd appreciate it
if you didn't do the same.
Now, I have tried
cutting off her head,
burning her,
dousing her with holy water.
All she did was laugh.
Nothing I know of
can kill her.
So I'm here
as a last resort.
I was hoping you stiffs have
a way to kill someone from Oz.
Well, of course we do.
W-we have to.
This place is
the last true beacon of light.
All right.
Just open
your damn books already.
All right, Jenkins.
Let's go to work.
Sam: Here it is.
Hey.
Thanks for coming.
Not a problem, especially
since I got fired last week.
Hey, what?
What happened?
Turns out the company I work for
was outsourcing to child labor,
so I took a big wikileak
all over that.
And, yeah.
It's cool, though.
It's given me more time
to focus on my hobbies
like larping, macrame,
and hunting.
Excuse me?
Okay.
It was
just a couple little cases.
I took down a teenage vampire
and a ghost
which sounds like a Y.
A.
novel if you say it out loud.
Charlie, how'd it go?
It was, uh
It was intense.
But I kind of wish hunting
was moremagical, you know?
Never mind.
So, where is
this Commodore 64 of yours?
Sweet Ada Lovelace.
This thing belongs in a museum.
I mean,
it's got encryption software.
It seems to be powered
by something magical.
Skip to the end.
It's kind of
an alarm system.
Global badness?
It freaks.
This computer is
what locked this place down.
Can we use it
to track angels?
All right.
[ Cracks knuckles ]
Let me see what I can do.
All right.
It took some doing,
but now we can download.
This beast has
all the Men of Letters files.
Time for a little
drag-and-drop.
Wow.
Well, it's a start.
Thank you.
Um,
that's -- that's great.
So,
you've been hunting.
Alone.
I know.
Not a good idea, according
to the "Supernatural" books.
You really can't delete those
from the Internet?
Not even I can do that.
Come on.
Where do you
even find them?
A top-secret place
I call Amazon.
And someone uploaded
all the unpublished works.
I thought
it was fanfic at first,
but it was
clearly Edlund's work.
Who uploaded it?
I don't know.
Their screen name was
beckywinchester176.
Ring a bell?
None.
Uh, nobody's.
Uh, no,
there are no bells.
UhNo.
Ugh,
these files are encrypted.
This is gonna take a while.
So, takeout, sleepover,
braid each other's hair?
Got an idea.
[ Swords clanging ]
[ Crash, thud ]
[ Sighs ]
Wow.
That Joffrey's a ***.
[ Laughs ]
Oh, you have no idea.
Wait until he --
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
S-spoilers.
I haven't read
all the books yet.
You're gonna read
the books?
Yes, Dean.
I like to read books --
you know,
the ones without pictures.
Man, this bed is about
as comfortable as a brick.
Any plans
on moving in anytime soon?
I am moved in.
This is just my style.
Yeah,
this is his, uh, style.
Well, I'm sorry
I haven't hung up the, uh,
"Hang in there, kitty" poster
yet, Dean.
Feel free to redecorate.
So, what,
our home's not good enough
for the "Hang in there, kitty"
poster?
This isn't our home.
This is where we work.
What's the difference?
Okay.
[ Clears throat ]
All right, well, I'm gonna go
get us some more beers.
How about that?
[ Scoffs ]
[ Door closes ]
So, Charlie,
what was all that about
how hunting isn't magical?
Saving people, hunting things,
the family business?
I am down.
But
I was raised on Tolkien,
man.
I mean,
where is all this?
Where are my White Walkers
and my volcano
and magic ring
to throw in the damn thing?
Where --
where's my quest?
Magic, questssuck.
[ Scoffs ]
Trust me.
They're all --
dead ends.
Nothing but dead ends.
There's got to be some way
to kill this thing.
[ Gasps ]
Jenkins, no!
[ Deep voice ] There's something
here that belongs to me.
Take me to it.
What the hell's
it talking about?
I have no idea.
Do you have a lab?
Second floor, room 28.
Wait!
[ Grunts ]
Jenkins, Jenkins!
I know you're in there.
Jenkins is gone.
[ Groans ]
[ Gasps ]
Jenkins.
Jenkins.
[ Normal voice ]
You were right.
There's nothing worse
than adventure.
[ Panting ]
Dorothy!
Dorothy!
Download should be done
by now.
What the hell?
Sam, give me a hand.
[ Shelf scraping ]
Charlie: [ Gasps ]
[ Inhales deeply ]
Charlie: Holy crap!
The first case investigated
in this bunker involved Dorothy.
She and the witch
came into this room,
and they never came out.
This will never stop
blowing my mind!
Okay,
pace yourself, Toto.
How is this real?
It's part of the fairy world.
We have to find her.
No, we have to talk before
anyone does anything, okay?
Dorothy?
Talk?
Typical Men of Letters,
standing around,
having a nice, little chat
with your noses buried
in your books
while your little secretary
takes notes.
We're hunters.
And who are you calling
a secretary?
You're not a secretary?
You're a Woman of Letters?
W-- how long
have I been out?
That's why
we need to talk.
Look, you've been gone
for over 75 years.
Now,
according to our files,
you came here
to kill the wicked witch
and then disappeared.
What happened?
We couldn't find a way
to kill her,
so I did the only thing
that I could.
[ Growls ]
It's you and me forever,
***.
[ Groans ]
Dorothy!
Dorothy!
Dorothy: A binding spell
that came at a price --
her soul with mine.
So you've been frozen with
the witch for all this time?
Yes.
Look, the witch
cannot be killed.
If I am awake,
then so is she.
Crowley:
Hello, lovely.
[ Groans ]
Sorry.
This litter box
is warded against everything,
even wicked witches.
Big fan.
Love your work.
[ Groans softly ]
What's the matter,
darling?
Cowardly lion
got your tongue?
[ Growls ]
Right.
Enough chitchat.
Must be here for a reason.
Write it down
so daddy can help.
Wait, if she's here,
why didn't she kill you?
She can't.
You're protected by
the Witch of the North's kiss.
It's from the books.
Oh, forget the books!
They're not important.
I'm protected.
You aren't.
Now, the witch came here
looking for something.
I have no idea what it is.
But we have to find her
before she finds it.
All right, all right.
Charlie, dig into the files.
See if you can find anything
that puts a dent in a witch.
Mm-hmm.
Sam and I will have a look-see.
Come on.
I'm helping.
Sam: Yeah, I don't doubt it.
But for right now,
why don't you rest up
and help the smartest person
in the room?
So [Chuckles]
big fan.
Hmm.
Ozma of Oz --
Is a total ***.
You were much nicer
in the books.
Those books are the ravings
of a sad, old man -- my father.
Wait.
Your dad was
L.
Frank Baum, the writer?
A Man of Letters.
Another glorified librarian,
you ask me.
[ Scoffs ]
Hey, these guys
may have been sexist,
but like all librarians,
they were wicked smart, too.
The dude who was here
when you came in -- Haggerty --
he kept your case file open,
worked it every day
until he retired.
Obviously,
he never found you,
but if you took five seconds
to read,
he did find way
to fight the Wicked Witch.
Do you remember the poppy fields
in the first book?
That's not actually
how it happened.
It was much bloodier.
Stop ruining my childhood.
Do you remember the poppies?
Good.
Haggerty made a deal
with a fairy
and got some poppy extract.
I'm gonna get some bullets
from the gun range
and make us
some poppy bullets.
So,
are you coming or what?
[ Whistling
"Somewhere Over The Rainbow" ]
Wow.
If it isn't the Scarecrow
and the Tin Man.
Your new houseguest --
so misunderstood.
Neither of you
saw "wicked"?
What did she say to you?
Something
along the lines of
[ Hisses ]
All right, well,
I'm gonna go get
some holy oil and a lighter,
*** bag.
I know
what she's looking for.
What does she want?
I'd be happy to tell you,
as soon as I get to stretch
my legs.
[ Groans ]
[ Chains clang ]
Oh.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Sighs ]
All right.
What does the witch want?
Give me a mo.
I still need
to air myself out.
I think
you're aired out enough.
Rude.
Key? What key?
I haven't the foggiest.
Had to send her off
on a merry chase
before she could melt me.
Told her you boys kept the keys
in the kitchen.
You do have a kitchen
in this crap hole, don't you?
Damn it,
I just cleaned in here.
Really?
Looks like
we got a witch here.
Sorry.
We raided your gun range.
Made us some poppy bullets.
They won't kill the witch,
but they will stun the crap
out of her.
That's my girl.
There was only enough
for four bullets, so
make each shot count.
Now we just have to find her
before she finds
whatever the hell's
she's looking for.
She's looking for a key.
How do you know?
Little birdie told us.
Ring any bells,
Dorothy?
Unfortunately.
It's the key to Oz.
There are magical ways
into Oz --
tornado, eye of a hurricane,
whirlpool --
but this key will turn any
locked door into a portal to Oz.
Insert key, twist,
and presto, you're in Oz.
How did the Men of Letters
get the key?
I have no idea,
but if she finds it,
she'll go back and finish
what she started.
She'll destroy
all that is good in Oz.
She's got armies of witches,
flying monkeys.
Many will die.
What's this key
look like?
I've seen that key.
Found it
when I was doing inventory.
Where is it now?
My room.
We got to get
to that key.
All right, Charlie and I
will go look in my room.
Why don't you guys
buy us some time?
Charlie?
Safest place in this joint
is the dungeon.
You have a dungeon
in this place?
Of course you do.
So maybe you should
I am not hiding,
especially in a dungeon.
Wicked Witch,
a key, a quest?
Let's do this.
C-Charlie
I can't believe I've lived here
for 75 years.
How long have you called
this place home?
My brother calls it home.
Me, I, uh --
I haven't had that much luck
with homes.
Me neither.
Overrated, you ask me.
Yellow bricks or not,
give me the open road any day.
Sam!
[ Screams ]
She can get anywhere
from there.
Split up,
cover more ground.
You keep your *** meticulously
organized, but not --
Don't judge me.
Ah!
Yahtzee.
[ Gasps ] Dean!
[ Grunts ]
Charlie: No!
[ Screams ]
Charlie?
Charlie?
Charlie?!
Charlie.
Charlie?
Charlie?
No!
[ Breathing shakily ]
Sam: Dean!
Zeke!
You have to help her.
She's gone.
No.
You can bring her back
like you did with Cass.
I cannot keep doing that.
Why the hell not?!
I am barely back
to half-strength, Dean.
Every time I use my power,
it weakens me,
which means I will have to stay
in your brother
longer than you want --
longer than we both want.
The witch running around
your bunker is very powerful.
I can help with the witch
or save your friend.
Save her.
As you wish.
[ Grunts ]
[ Gasps ]
Merry Christmas.
Charlie?
Uh.
Hey, I know you.
I told you to stay
in the dungeon.
[ Chuckles ]
Bet you say that
to all the girls.
[ Groans ]
Dean?
Sammy?
What the hell
just happened?
The witch -- the witch was
about to put a whammy on me,
and, uh, Charlie jumped
in front.
She got zapped, then the witch
got the drop on you.
Then why aren't we dead?
That's a good question.
I, uh --
I clipped her
with a -- with a poppy bullet.
She got the key.
I think she's gone.
[ Footsteps ]
No.
She's wounded.
We should still have
some time.
She could still be
in the air vents.
No.
No, no.
She's right.
We -- we have to -- we --
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just go.
We'll catch up.
M-my gun's over there.
There's one bullet in it.
Can we be
best friends now?
Who's Zeke?
What?
When I came
into your room,
before I got zapped,
I thought you said
the name Zeke.
Who's that?
Um
I think you're
still a little punchy, man.
Just keep moving.
I had the weirdest dream
when I was out.
It was Christmas, and my parents
were still alive, and --
Dream?
Charlie, you died.
Don't worry about it,
though.
You're not a real hunter until
you've died and come back again.
Slow down.
Why would you think I died?
Heaven --
it's your dream life.
And if you were zapped
by the Wicked Witch
[snaps fingers]
Instant death.
I would know.
She killed me, too.
Okay.
Let's rewind here a bit.
When did you die?
In Oz.
My father was obsessed with
his work as a Man of Letters,
and then I was born
and nothing changed.
[ Chuckles ]
He would keep his work a secret,
but I was such a curious kid.
I was always looking
for trouble,
looking
for the next big adventure.
I know the feeling.
[ Chuckles ]
I stowed away
on one of his cases,
wound up in the emerald city,
accidentally got left behind.
It was terrifying.
Well, what happened?
I met up with
these three freedom fighters,
and they thought
I was this child of destiny
chosen to kill
the Wicked Witch.
They protected me, and then
the witch turned them into --
A scarecrow, a tin man,
and a lion?
And then she hunted me down
and killed me.
Yeah, that never made it
to the books.
[ Chuckles ]
Sometimes real life
is darker than fiction.
Why haven't you moved in?
Is now really the time
for this, Dean?
Well, just asking.
Look, I never had what you had
with mom and dad, okay?
What are you talking about?
I don't have
any memories of home.
And whenever I've tried
to make a home of my own,
it really hasn't ended well.
Yeah, but a lifetime
of abandoned buildings
and crappy motel rooms.
I mean, this is about as close
to home as we're gonna get,
and it's ours.
And what about the books?
[ Scoffs ]
Revisionist history.
That's my father's
way of trying to undo
what had happened to me.
But I knew the truth.
When the witch came
to our world, I became a hunter,
and my father wrote
those silly books.
Don't you get it?
The books aren't silly.
They're guidebooks filled
with clues he left for you.
Haggerty
pored through each one,
and his research led him
to uncover the poppies,
so maybe there's something else
from the books we can use,
preferably something
with a pointy end.
You are a genius.
Come on.
We've got to get to the garage.
There's a garage
in this place?!
Oh, boy.
Clear.
I got nothing.
What do you think?
Is she gone?
Sam!
[ Groans ]
Ah!
[ Both grunting ]
[ Deep voice ]
Find the girls
[ Deep voice ]
And kill them both.
[ Light switch clicks ]
Yes.
I knew those boy scouts
would keep it for me.
Is that
Yeah.
He didn't make it.
Ooh.
Please be here.
Please be here.
Yes!
[ Sighs ]
I don't believe it.
[ Laughs ]
Did you really walk
down a brick road in these?
No.
I never actually wore them.
Seemed kind of tacky
wearing a dead woman's shoes.
Plus, I'm no good in heels,
you know?
I don't suppose
we could just wish her away?
Sorry.
Another thing
the books got wrong.
But, like the poppies,
these have magic from Oz --
sharp magic.
Oh.
Death by shoe?
[ Chuckles ]
There you are.
Was that
your Batman voice?
[ Both growl ]
That's definitely not
your Batman voice.
It's her.
She possessed the both of them.
I missed you, my pretty.
Killing you a second time will
be just as sweet as the first.
Guys,
I know you're in there.
Dean, you can't let
the witch do this.
If she opens the door,
she's going to destroy Oz.
Aah!
[ Witch groaning ]
I have no intention
of escaping to Oz.
I'm going to bring
my armies here.
[ Groaning ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Laughs ]
Don't worry.
You'll join Dorothy
right after you watch her die.
Sorry about the nards,
Dean.
Oh!
[ Groans ]
[ Grunts ]
Go.
I'll buy you some time.
All right.
Let's see what you pencil necks
are made of.
[ Monkeys chattering ]
All right, let's do this
the old-fashioned way.
My body cannot hurt you,
Dorothy.
But theirs can.
[ Gasps ]
[ Groans ]
Now heel.
[ Normal voice ]
What the hell just happened?
Charlie.
[ Monkeys chattering ]
[ Whimpers ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Clatter ]
Ding-***, ***.
[ Laughs ]
Aah!
[ Lock clicks ]
[ Coughs ]
Really, after all I did
with Ms.
defying gravity?
[ Light switch clicks ]
[ Door closes ]
***.
Baby looks good in here,
huh?
Sam: [ Chuckles ]
Not bad.
Dean
Dorothy, I, uh --
I found something
in the archives.
Pretty sure it belongs to you.
You have no idea
how odd it is
having a series of books
written about you.
Actually, I-I do know, uh,
and it is definitely weird.
But you know what?
End of the day, it's our story,
so we get to write it.
So, thanks
for the slumber party
Mm.
and bringing me
back from the dead.
Uh, I didn't.
Don't B.
S.
a B.
S.
er.
Am I a zombie now?
Do I need to eat brains?
No, no, no.
You're you.
You're gonna be fine,
all right?
Just, um -- just keep this
between us, okay?
All right, but only 'cause
you raised me from the dead,
which you're going to have to
explain to me later.
All right.
Not bad
for a bunch of librarians.
[ Chuckles ]
You mind keeping an eye
on my bike for me?
Yeah, yeah, as long
as you don't mind me
taking it for a spin
once in a while.
Deal.
Thank you for everything.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a rebellion to finish.
So,
you coming or what?
What? With you?
To Oz?
Yeah.
You said you were looking
for adventure.
Well, here it is, Red.
Come help me find my damn dog.
You have no idea
what's in Oz.
I mean, t-there's flying
monkeys, armies of witches.
There's all kinds of danger.
Promise?
[ Chuckles ]
If you need anything,
just, uh,
tap your heels together
three times, okay?
Me?
What about you crazy kids?
You gonna be all right
without me?
Take care of yourselves,
boys.
[ AC/DC's "For Those About
To Rock We Salute You" plays ]
[ Lock clicks ]
Oh, yh,h, yeah
for those about to rock
we salute you
for those about to rock
we salute you
oh, yeah, yeah
[ sighs ]
Think she'll be back?
Of course.
There's no place
like home.