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As you can see, I've officially checked out.
I had a promising career as an Assistant District Attorney. Trained to prosecute the bad guys.
Plato said that there are three parts to the soul: a rational part, which seeks truth, a spirited part, which desires honor,
and an appetitive part, which lusts for it all, especially money.
If you're lucky you'll have all three in check, thanks to the right teachers who will put the right desires in your heart.
And thus you'll hunger like a rabid animal seeking justice where there is none. And your spirit will inspire you to set things right
when you smell injustice & tyranny, when the world's upside down and the good guy superheroes on TV are really crooks in sheep's clothing.
Was my quest for justice worth it?
You be the Judge!
I am Sofía Escala.
Good morning Juanito.
Good morning Miss Escala. Keeping troublemakers off the street.
Yeah I'm fighting crime, one traffic ticket at a time.
Oh that reminds me. Some rookie was being a stickler for the speed limits. Could you take care of these for me?
Sure, I'll look into them.
You're sweet.
I needed a place to hide and figure things out. I went to law school on account of my mother's nagging.
Don't be lazy! Go become a doctor or a lawyer.
Some say I'm lucky for landing this job. I like to think my hard work got me here.
Assistant District Attorney Sofia Escala.
Hardly the glamour of "Law & Order" episodes.
So no, it's not luck. Just committed to justice.
Yeah, okay. Bye.
Hi. Hi.
Have you seen the calendar for us today? Look at this. More traffic cases and DWIs. Where are the real cases?
I should've gone to acting school. [Ring] Hello. Yeah? Girrrrrrl please...
That's my officemate and best friend Robert Gallion. Rob's favorite show? Yeap "Law & Order."
I think he was expecting cute men and glamour, but, like me, he's committed.
See you later tonight. Okay. Bye,
So, Phil stayed over last weekend.
Which one is Phil?
Oh you know, the one I like to call "Daddy."
Oh you mean the married in the closet father of three? You've gotta be kidding me with that.
Sof, what this man does to me. I can put up with his ***.
Rob's other favorite show? Yeap, "Sex In the City." Every episode, DVD, every line of dialogue.
If people only realized that show was really about gay men.
Howdy folks!
Hey Kev. I was just teasing Sofia. You know how she loves them cowboys.
Yeah I guess... Speaking of them cowboys, I've got a spot left on my fantasy football league.
Boy, you should've seen it last season. I was fixing to spearhead that league when out of nowhere Romo gets tackled from behind.
His opponent straddles him down to the ground. He's bent over in pain. Poor *** never had a decent chance. Referee calls foul. Opponent pulls out and I was left there damn screwed.
Sounds like gay *** to me. Sign me up!
Huh?
You're a Cowboys fan, aren't you Kev?
Yeah. You bet your *** I'm a hardcore fan.
Hardcore. That's just the way I like it.
So are you in or what?
That's Kevin Murchinson, heir apparent to a dwindling power dynasty of corrupt relic Texan billionaires now watching their empire of privilege and power dwindle like the last days of Pompei.
Their political clout got the coffin nail when George Bush, Jr., left office. Now he's here trying to prove he's just a regular guy on the right side of the law.
I think he's the sacrificial lamb for his family to make good in the public eye. To me, he's just a *** in cowboy boots.
Sofia, the Judge wants to see you in his chambers.
Well, well. Maybe today I'll get a real case.
Don't bet on it sweetheart.
I won't *** face.
You speaking Spanish? Now wasn't the cutest darn thing you ever did see?
But you know that's unacceptable in the workplace. Don't you darling?
Even if I'm only calling you ***... I mean, doll face?
Here you go Kev.
These are your picks? Prepare to go down.
Really? And I'm totally gonna nail you.
We'll see about that boy.
Well I'm off. I'll leave you two to explore your fantasy football.
Hey do you hear that? Let's go check it out.
So great. Well done. Congratulations.
Who's the son of a gun A.D.A.?
You mean the Chief A.D.A. That be Brent Renerd.
Oh you mean Brent RenArd.
Yeah Renerd. That man's a machine. Never loses a case.
But that's going to be changing very soon.
What did you say?
Nothing.
Well I'm off. Can't keep the Judge waiting.
Assistant District Attorney. I've grown to love the sound of that. To be an upholder of the law. Heck yeah! I am one lucky lady. I'm a superhero for justice!
Sofia. Hi Joe.
You look great today. Oh thank you.
Black is very slimming. Not to say that you're fat because you're not fat. You haven't been fat as long as I've known you actually.
Excuse me Sofía. You are here to see the Judge, right?
Yes. I'll talk to you later Joe.
Oh and Sofia. He is not happy with you.
Close the door Miss Escala!
I'm not making enough money for the court system. I keep pleading cases down and the Judge is not happy.
Sofia get a hold of yourself.
I'm just a glorified bill collector. You were right. What was the point of law school?
Hey Sofia, you forgot your files at the Judge's chambers.
Thanks so much for bringing them Joe.
Have you decided if tonight's a good night?
Yeah, I'm gonna work on the files tonight.
No. I found a nice Spanish restaurant that serves tapas for us to go to.
When?
Tonight. Friday.
Tapas...yeah. Actually I can't. I promised Rob that I would hang out with him and his boyfrie- BUDDY. Sorry.
That's fine. Maybe next time.
Sure. Thanks.
Go Mets!
That poor guy is running around looking for tapas when all he really wants to do is to TAP that. Tap it, tap it, tap it.
Oh stop that!
My focus is elsewhere.
Clearly.
What do you think of the silver fox Brent Renard?
Oh you mean the twice divorced, four kids, ladies man, silver fox?
I guess...
You've gotta be kidding me with that.
Anyways, I'm heading out. See you later?
Yeah. I'm just gonna wrap up a few things here. Bye.
You better believe I was working extra late. Hoping to put myself on the silver fox's radar.
To impress him, I knew I had to familiarize myself with his latest triumph "State versus Lopez."
Though I didn't get through the entire case file that evening, I was intrigued to know
how Brent Renard was able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant was guilty when the *** weapon was reported as being in two different locations at the same time.
Did anyone not pick up on that?