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Me be best matey at Jim DeChamp's weddin' t'night
'dis be definitely scuttlin' t' weddin'.
Bin never done a fore flip before
but 'tis isn't ain't no old salty adventure.
Me name be Travis Pastrana.
Tis be me buxom beauty.
Tis be where I goin'.
And tis be me tale.
[ On Pace with PASTRANA Season 2 ]
[ Dover International Speedway Dover, Delaware ]
'ere at Dover aye, blimey hot.
'bout t' flank 200 laps 'round a beastly mile,
hoist the mizzen on a flying krakken.
Sail into Jim DeChamp's weddin', me Nitro Circus bucko.
Me be best bucko so I'm prayin' we set sails 'round here nice and smartly
and we can sail thar handsomely.
- If we put tis 60 ship up near t' fore o' tis dock,
we git letters of marque.
- Be ninety degrees on deck and be 'bout 120 in t' ship.
[ 5-Hour Energy qualifyin' ]
Ye can sail.
Ye don't dance the hempen jig, but t' ship gets mighty feathery
comin' in t' jib. And ye land,
everythin' gets all kookoo bananas and then ye heel all t' way up t' trail.
T' maiden voyage' was just jolly.
- Jim, woefully me don't be at yer weddin' on t' hour.
Not t' be a landlubber.
Me just don't want t' walk t' plank.
[ 5-hour Energy 200 ]
Jolly sail here in Dover for me.
And Dover's hometown seas
15th - not quite t' motherload
now we're sailin' down t' sea t' port
over here t' jump on a ship and go t' Jim's weddin'.
[Annapolis, Maryland 20 leagues from NASCAR race]
Well, we 'ere at Jim and Steph's weddin'.
They're finally goin' t' be measured fer thar chains.
Travis be finishin' up his NASCAR race and
he's comin' in by flying krakken.
Me don't hear him makin' chase.
Me body be still steamin' from bein' in t' car
Me might see Davey Jones' Locker before we get thar.
Aye, tis be definitely scuttlin' t' weddin'.
Tis t' weddin' thar.
Me wasn't given no treasure map.
Me was given a gally and told,
"fetch Travis when t' flyin' krakken docks."
Ho!
- Landlubbers guide to Weddin' scuttlin'!
me like t' shout that me think tis is
prolly 'nother first on the seven seas.
- Thank ye, buccaneer! - Ahoy! That's jolly!
- Blimey, it's a clip, aye-aye!
In about five ticks o' the hourglass, three buckos
helped him t' put on a suit.
- Arrrrrr! - Shiver me timbers!
- Beautiful, bucko.
- No carrier pigeon shed needed.
Tis an hourglass from race head. Not squiffy.
[Stephanie DeChamp Jim's buxom beauty]
-He's never afraid t' splice the main brace
and heave to for t' rest o' t' crew
so thanks for bein' our deckhand, bucko.
"Yarr!"
[Pastrana Cabin Annapolis, Maryland]
So t' little ones shower 's nigh 'ere in Maryland.
Swashbucklin' thin' about havin' a little one is
ye actually get all these parrrrrrrrrrrrrrrties
and people give ye swag for t' kid.
So all t' lasss be here,
all t' guys be around aft ridin' some whippy-whatsits.
We've got Steve McCann, all t' Maryland A-Team.
To be a day full 'o awe.
Woefully we don't see the hempen halter.
Ye gotta spot tis turn over here, bucko.
Second gear pinned, arrrr! Full windom style.
Four buckos on a crew.
Each bucko sails three scores.
Travis crimped me t' be on t' crew
jus' cuz me be Jim's swashbuckler today.
-Be becalmed till he gets here.
-We're way aft.
-Aye, we should set sail. me should go next.
-Yar.
-No, no, no. Not nigh, not nigh.
-We gave Jereme t' bicycle behind and
he's kheelhauled "Michigan Mafia" Ron Meredith.
Shiver me timbers. He has t' lead now but it's not goin' t' last.
-Ahoy!!
-Ye started with t' lead!!
-ARRRR, land lubber!
-Come here!
-Last time me crimp ye for me crew.
-Jim bragged me up way beyond my sails.
-He bicycles for a livin'. Ye fig're he could do tis.
It be a fore flip launcher by design.
In theory, if ye go up and just take a caulk,
ye should get half a fore flip.
Me ne'er done a fore flip before but
tis ain't no old salty adventure.
-Me glad ye more halfwitted than I.
-That 'O' thar be a "X-marks-the-spot" for yer face
after ye start yer fore-flip down here.
-Why be it every time I have a bilge swillin' idea
for one o' me hearties t' go at I'm t' one who ends up running the rig?
Parchment t' self: don't come up with any bilge swillin' ideas.
If he hits t' plank t' way he's thinkin' it'll put more wind in his sails.
-Get that 2nd sail set and just see what the tide brings.
Set the reef sails a pinch.
-Me be mighty squiffy-feelin' 'bout tis fore-flip
but tis guy's a landlubber in long clothes.
So we're thinkin'...
Trav! ye can't do a fore-flip!
-Aye-Aye!
Then why be ye tryin' to show him how to swab the decks?
-Me not teachin' him how to do a fore-flip
Me tryin' t' have him show me how t' launcher goes.
-Scupper that! Hoist away!
He's under t' ship bilged on her anchor, he's shoutin'
"Scupper that, hoist away"
-If ye just swing the lead', ye bilge on yer anchor!
-Me got a lot o' lantern oil.
-Ye gotta lot o' bilge water down- --On me nethers.
-Ye don't got much ---Aye t' burn approaches.
-Ye lack silk linens down thar.
-Barnacles, did Me snap 't poor lad's neck to smithereens?
Aye. Me got 'er.
"Awwww!"
ye're sweatin' like a bilge rat.
-Thank ye very much. Me grab that up before I sail out.
All me... me can hear whoopsy-whatsit noises while me was swabbin'
how ye think me kept on course?
-Ye're the jolliest lass across the seven seas.
That was one mighty shore leave;
weddin', sailin',
parrrrrrrrrty, whoopsy-whatsits.
Spy wit' ye eye ye later on On Pace.
On t' next episode o' On Pace with Pastrana,
went down in Florida for Two-Stroke Week.