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[V.o.] - Before we start, an announcement...
- ...the monologue I'm going to do, tonight's monologue has been approved by CEI
- Not only the monologue, but the whole show has been approved by CEI...
- ...and that's why in the set design there is this thing that SEEMS barbed wire...
- ...but is actually Mrs. Binetti's Cilice.
- How...how is it going? In general? How's it going?
- "Baaad". Here's some people who do not listen to TG1....
- ...very good.
- So...what do these judges want??
- He is SILVIO BERLUSCONI, darn it!
- Silvio "Lolito" Berlusconi! Coome ooon!
- The constitutions cages him in!
- You can't constrict someone like Silvio Berlusconi within the constitution!
- He's an outsider! C'mon!
- It's like forcing Tiger Woods to play golf in the pantry!
- C'moooon!
- Even though Berlusconi had threatened the judges with a chainsaw...
- ...fortunately the court ruled the Lodo Alfano as incostitutional...
- Ooooh, finally!
- Berlusconi IS OVER!
- I'll give you the good news here, live from the Paladozza of Bologna...
- ...Berlusconi is OVER. He's going to face the court for the Mills case...
- ...he's going to be found guilty for corruption...
- ...he will be banned on taking public office...
- ...end of the scoundrels' kingdom!
- We can CELEBRATE! WOOO-HOOOO!
[V.o.] - Awww.......it's nice to be told that, isn't it? I know...
- I truly want to believe in it, though...
-...and to celebrate I even got a huge cake done...
- ...for everybody, here, in the backstage...
- ...but unfurtunately a couple minutes ago the stripper inside the cake...
- ...got her period...
- I'll never trust Tarantini again.
- So...
- So we'll have to party some other time...
- Oh, I know guys...THAT is also some sort of stuffing...
- But it's not edible. It's not.
- I was told by Frisullo, so...
- You know Frisullo, right?
- He said "Women? I did not know they were escorts!...
- ...And I always met them together with their parents!". Of course...
- I know, these are hard times...the other day I opened the newspaper...
- "Government's polls go down..." Uuuh, I wonder why.
- "but Italians' trust in Berlusconi is still over 60%."
- I put the paper down. I leave the room. I come back after 5 minutes. The article is still there.
- Italians' trust in Berlusconi is OVER 60%...
- No matter if his reactionary and class-dividing policies...
- ...cut salaries and investments,
- ...destroy public school, public health, scientific research, the environment,
- ...shut the justice, free information, satire up...
- Personal laws don't matter, conflict of interest doesn't matter,
- emergency management entrusted to a small caucus doesn't matter,
- contempt of the constitution doesn't matter, of the parliament and of the balance of powers,
- Attacks to the president of the republic, to the social and institutional unity of the country don't matter,
Rehabilitation of fascism doesn't matter, state racism, criminal wars,
- returning to nuclear energy doesn't matter,
The fact that a businessman with no scruples put the whole apparatus of the state
at the service of his companies and of his personal problems with law,
something we never had, not even with fascism.
All of this doesn't matter...
- The trust of the Italians in Berlusconi, according to the surveys,
- ...is OOOVER 60%.
- How do we explain all this??? I have my own theory.
- When you have *** sex with your girlfriend...
- ...the expert recognizes threes different phases.
- In the first phase the woman is on her knees on the bed,
- ...doggystyle, arms locked, waiting to be butt-*** by your meaty cereal bin.
- Penetration has not started yet,
- but your zeppelin is already constantly pressing her ***, which in this phase...
- ...is still reticent.
- This lasts some time.
- "How you doing?"
- "Oh, you know..."
- I see you know what I am talking about.
- At a certain point...
- ...At a certain point her *** timidly opens up, like a buttercup in the spring.
- It's the second phase.
- Your hammer drill begins to make its way through
- She then turns around...
- ...and she looks at you with dismay, incredulously...
- ...like a cockroach crushed by Mother Teresa...
- Then she lays on her elbows and starts to moan...
- She SEEMS not to want it, but she actually does!
- And this is REALLY turning on.
- At least for you. For her a little less...
- ...because in this phase her ***...
- ...burns like an onion ring.
- That's when we get all of a sudden to the THIRD phase.
- The woman gives up, collapses on the mattress on her cheek, curves her back...
- ...and offers to you her EURO5-***...
- ...completely open and deboned.
- There is no more pain, only pleasure. And she screams...
- "YESS! YESSS! OOOH YESSS!!!"
- Italy, with Berlusconi, is in this third phase.
"YES, YES, AAAH YESS AAHH YESS AH YES AHH YESS...AAAH....YESSS...AAHHH!!"