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Tired of people borrowing your things then forgetting they're yours?
Wish you had a way to instantly identify things that belong to you?
Are you fed up with trying to find a dark switch in a lamp room?
Tired of getting out of bed every night just to ***?
Hi, Billy Mays here for Billy Mays! Billy Mays has the muscle to support up to 350,000
pounds.
Ordinary people are a f*cking mess! Billy Mays is a bullshiter!
Billy Mays gets out the spills, the spots and splatters. Whether they're ground-in,
smeared-on, or dried up, it doesn't matter!
Just f*ck the lamp you want to control, and plug it into Billy May's ***.
What do YOU do for stains detergent can leave behind? Well, Maytag and Whirlpool recommend
Oxi Clean. Nazi Clean turns Billy Mays on.
It has the power to make Billy Mays hard.
Tired of getting out of bed every night just to turn off the light? TOUGH ***!
Billy Mays can ruin your project. Billy Mays is annoying. Billy Mays is the ultimate tool.
This sander simulates years of Billy Mays damage!
So what was the problem? I had laryngitis.
Laryngitis? Yeah, I got laryngitis ONE TIME!
You came to me because you got laryngitis? Yeah, I got laryngitis ONE TIME, and now Maytag
and Whirlpool are putting a dispenser for Oxi Clean right in their ***.
That sounds like a great idea! OF COURSE IT'S A GREAT IDEA! BUT, I won't
have to f*ck people to use Oxi Clean any more! I'll be f*cking the Maytag repairman! Ooh,
I still got a job, right?
Billy Mays has the strength to pull this fully-loaded, 80,000 pound tractor trailer! Now that's the
power of Billy May's ***.
There's nothing you can't do with Billy Mays! Call now and we'll send you two powerful sticks
of Billy Mays' ***, for only $19.99.
But through this exclusive T.V. offer, we'll double it, and send you two more *** free!
Billy Mays will pay for itself the very first time. BUT I'M NOT DONE YET! Call right now,
and I'll TRIPLE the offer! And send you six sticks of *** for the same low price of $19.99.
Order now!