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NO. STOP.
HEY! JENNY!
SARAH LAWRENCE CANNOT ACCEPT SOMEONE WHO HAS HAZED A TEACHER.
COLLEGES STOPPED ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS MONTHS AGO.
WHAT HAPPENED? YALE HAS GREAT FINANCIAL AID.
WELL, AS OF NOW, WE'RE A LOW PRIORITY.
WE'RE NOT NEEDY ENOUGH?
YES! ROAD TRIP.
WHEN DO WE LEAVE?
TO ESPAÑA!
I MET YOU LAST YEAR. YOU WERE CALLING YOURSELF SAVANNAH.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU AGAIN. I'M GABRIEL.
ALL I WANT TO TELL YOU IS THAT I DO WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
AND WHO AM I?
THAT'S A SECRET I'LL NEVER TELL.
YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.
X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.
("Peer Gynt Suite No. 1, Op.46 'Anitra's Dance'" playing)
(Cockney accent) EXCUSE ME, SIR.
BUY A FLOWER FOR THE PRETTY LADY?
YOU!
(British accent) DARLING, WHO LET THIS MISERABLE CREATURE IN?
PLEASE, I'M TRYIN' TO EARN MONEY SO I CAN GO TO YALE.
IT'S MY DREAM, IT IS, ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
YALE? YOU FOOLISH LITTLE GIRL.
THAT DREAM IS OVER. TIME TO WAKE UP.
NO. NO.
NO! NO!
THIS IS MY DREAM. NO!
(sighs)
WHEN YOU LOSE HOPE IN A DREAM,
SOMETIMES ALL YOU'RE LEFT WITH ARE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS.
WHILE SOME CALL THE DOCTOR FOR A REFILL,
I FIND THE BEST SOLUTION
IS A FULL SOCIAL CALENDAR.
AND HERE NATE AND I ARE AT THE YOUNG FELLOWS BALL.
AND HERE WE ARE
WITH HIS GRANDFATHER, WILLIAM VAN DER BILT.
CYRUS, FOCUS. YOU MISSED A LOT WHILE YOU WERE GONE.
I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT TO DO
BEFORE THE PASSOVER SUPPER TONIGHT--THE SEDER.
OH, IT SMELLS DELICIOUS.
OH, I AM MAKING A BRISKET THAT IS GONNA BLOW YOUR SOCKS OFF.
BE SURE TO SAVE ME SOME.
FOR THE LAST TIME,
THIS DINNER IS VERY IMPORTANT TO YOUR STEPFATHER AND ME.
AND IF ONLY I COULD BE TWO PEOPLE, BUT YOU KNOW,
NATE'S COUSIN TRIPP VAN DER BILT IS GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW.
THE DINNER'S TONIGHT, AND I'M LATE FOR THE REHEARSAL.
REHEARSAL? YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE WEDDING.
NO, BUT NATE TEXTED ME, AND HE SAID HE HAD A SURPRISE.
I'M BETTING IT'S ABOUT THE JUNIOR COMMITTEE
OKAY, JUST WAIT A MINUTE.
YOUNG LADY, YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO GET SERIOUS
MAUREEN IS ALREADY
ON THE BOARD OF FOUR CHARITIES AND TWO MUSEUMS
AND NEEDS A PERSONAL ASSISTANT TO KEEP TRACK OF HER SCHEDULE.
NOT TO MENTION,
BEING A SOCIALITE WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR JACKIE O.
YOU KNOW, MY OLD FRIEND, J.R., IS A BIG MUGWUMP AT N.Y.U.,
AND HE HAPPENS TO OWE ME A FAVOR.
CYRUS SAVED J.R.'s LIFE IN 'NAM.
OH. (chuckles) WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT JUST BECAUSE I LOST YALE
DOES NOT MEAN I'M WASTING MY TIME AT A NON-IVY,
READING "BELOVED" SIX TIMES
AND EXPERIMENTING WITH LESBIANISM.
NOW NATE IS WAITING.
WALDORF WOMEN ARE NOT SOCIALITES.
YOU CAN JUST SET THOSE DOWN THERE, PLEASE.
THE PRODIGAL DAUGHTER RETURNS.
HOW WAS SPAIN?
AMAZING. PERFECT.
I'M SURE.
YOU AND POPPY DANCING ON TABLETOPS IN BARCELONA,
SUNBATHING NUDE IN COSTA DEL SOL.
MORE LIKE ME AND POPPY AND HER BOYFRIEND GABRIEL
ON THE COAST.
UH, I JUST READ AND ATE AND, YOU KNOW, SWAM.
SO THERE WAS NUDE SUNBATHING.
HEY, UH, IS MY MOM AROUND?
I HAVEN'T SEEN HER, BUT I HAVE BEEN OCCUPIED.
LAST NIGHT'S ENTERTAINMENT.
SHE'S A SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER,
CAN HOLD HER BREATH FOR FIVE MINUTES.
SO YOU--YOU FOUND A WAY TO GET OVER BLAIR THEN.
WELL, THERE WAS A DETOUR WITH A BOHO BARISTA.
THEN I REALIZED I'M A 17-YEAR-OLD BILLIONAIRE
WITH TREMENDOUS STAMINA.
TONIGHT I HAVE A DATE WITH THE BOLSHOI'S LEAD BALLERINA.
BY THE WAY, I SAW POPPY LIFTON
AT THE ROSE BAR LAST WEEK.
IT'S FUNNY HOW SHE CAN BE THERE
YET STILL BE IN SPAIN WITH YOU.
♪♪
DID I TELL YOU YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL?
NATE ARCHIBALD,
ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE ME ON CHURCH PROPERTY?
MM. COME ON. LET'S GO.
AND CAN YOU PLEASE REMIND THE ATTENDANTS
NOT TO SEAT ME BEHIND CAROLINE KENNEDY?
SHE MAY BE AMERICAN ROYALTY, BUT THAT WOMAN IS A GIRAFFE.
(chuckles) SURE.
OH, HEY. TRIPP ASKED ME TO GO TO LUNCH WITH HIM.
HE SAID IT WAS IMPORTANT, BUT I THINK HE'S JUST SCARED
FINE. I'LL COME BY BEFORE DINNER.
I-I HOPE THAT'S NOT YOUR BIG SURPRISE.
I'LL HAVE TO THINK OF A WAY TO THANK MAUREEN,
I GOT INTO COLUMBIA.
I GOT INTO COLUMBIA. WHAT WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OH. NOTHING.
THAT'S AMAZING. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU APPLIED.
WELL, I JUST--I WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD GET IN
WITHOUT ANY FAMILY HELP, YOU KNOW.
I MEAN, ALL MY GRANDFATHER HAD TO DO TO GET ME INTO YALE
WAS JUST MAKE A PHONE CALL AND... I'M SORRY.
IT'S FINE.
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
SO THAT MEANS NO YALE?
NO, HONESTLY, I'M--I'M TORN.
BLAIR. IT WAS SO SWEET OF YOU TO COME.
YES, IT-IT'S GOING TO BE SO BEAUTIFUL.
I-I HAVE SOME DISAPPOINTING NEWS.
THE WHITNEY JUNIOR COMMITTEE
FELT YOU WERE TOO NEW ON THE SCENE.
THEY CHOSE ELIZABETH INSTEAD.
GIVE IT TIME.
WHEN IT COMES TO THESE THINGS,
IT TAKES A WHILE TO START TO MATTER.
HEY, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER,
MAUREEN HAD TO PICK HER BRIDESMAIDS
FROM A LIST PROVIDED BY MY GRANDFATHER.
HEY, I BETTER GO. THE REHEARSAL'S STARTING.
OH. OKAY.
I'LL JUST WAIT HERE... WITH THE REST OF THE COMMONERS.
HEY. HEY, WES.
IS THAT THE, UH, SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT?
YEP. WE'RE TRACKING AIR QUALITY ON PLANT GROWTH.
ONE OF THESE WAS GROWN IN OUR APARTMENT,
AND THE OTHER WAS GROWN IN WES' COUNTRY HOUSE.
APPARENTLY A TREE DOES NOT GROW IN BROOKLYN.
I BETTER TAKE OFF. CALL YOU LATER?
YEAH.
♪♪
WELL, I HOPE FOR THE SAKE OF SCIENCE THAT
OF COURSE. BUT I'M WORKING ON IT.
NO, I GET IT. RENT TRUMPS ART.
WELL, LET ME KNOW IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND.
LOOK, I'M THE ONE WITH THE EXPENSIVE YALE TUITION.
PLEASE LET ME HELP. THERE'S GOTTA BE A JOB ON craigslist
DAN, I HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL.
YOUR PRIORITY IS SCHOOL. I'M OFF TO LILY'S.
SHE WANTS TO GO SHOPPING FOR A TABLE, A LAMP.
(Jenny) BYE.
GOOD LUCK.
I DON'T KNOW HE'S BEING SO STUBBORN ABOUT THIS.
YOU KNOW, WES' MOM OWNS A CATERING COMPANY.
CATERING? THAT DEFINITELY WAS NOT ON THE TOP OF MY LIST,
BUT, I MEAN, YEAH,
IF YOU--IF YOU-- IF YOU DON'T MIND ASKING...
NOT AT ALL, BECAUSE THEN I CAN ASK HIM TO COME TO DINNER
WITH ME AS A THANKS FOR BEING SO COOL TO MY BROTHER.
(man) ♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪
HELLO, BLAIR.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU, TOO, MR. VAN DER BILT.
THE WEDDING IS GOING TO BE LOVELY.
BLAIR, IT'S REACHED MY EARS
THAT NATE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED TO COLUMBIA.
HAS HE SPOKEN TO YOU OF HIS INTENTIONS?
NOT IN SO MANY WORDS.
BUT I DO KNOW HE'S VERY PROUD OF HAVING GOTTEN IN ON HIS OWN.
AS HE SHOULD BE.
MY GRANDSON VALUES YOUR OPINION.
PERHAPS YOU COULD SHOW HIM THAT YALE IS THE APPROPRIATE CHOICE.
I... THINK THIS IS A DECISION HE NEEDS TO MAKE HIMSELF.
TELL ME, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
I KNOW YOU PUT OFF COLLEGE.
ANY WORD FROM THE JUNIOR COMMITTEE FOR THE WHITNEY?
ACTUALLY... THEY DIDN'T ACCEPT ME.
AH. I THINK THAT MUST BE SOME KIND OF MISTAKE.
I'LL CALL AGNES CHISMER IMMEDIATELY
AND CLEAR THAT RIGHT UP.
REALLY?
FOR A FRIEND OF MY GRANDSON,
THERE'S NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO.
YALE IS AN AMAZING SCHOOL.
AND... NATE WOULD LOOK DASHING IN BULLDOG BLUE.
AND I WANT TO BE A BRIDESMAID.
I THINK, UH, SHE MIGHT HAVE ROOM FOR ONE MORE.
WHY DID I GIVE DOROTA THE WEEKEND OFF?
EVER SINCE SHE AND VANYA FELL IN LOVE,
ALL SHE THINKS ABOUT IS HERSELF.
(cell phone rings)
HELLO?
YES, THIS IS CYRUS ROSE.
THIS IS SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN.
I THINK I NEED A LAWYER.
HOW DID ANTIQUE SHOPPING TURN INTO SHOE SHOPPING?
WELL, MY DARLING,
ALL SHOPPING EVENTUALLY LEADS TO SHOE SHOPPING.
YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT DAN'S TUITION.
(sighs) UH, MID-RANGE COLLECTORS JUST AREN'T BUYING RIGHT NOW.
WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THINGS WILL TURN AROUND. (gasps)
NOW WHO SAYS THAT THESE ARE NOT ART?
HEY, MOM. NICE SHOES.
COULD YOU GIVE US A MOMENT?
THANKS.
NO, I'M FURIOUS.
FIRST YOU TRASH THE APARTMENT, THEN YOU RUN AWAY TO SPAIN.
I'M SORRY.
I, UM, I'VE JUST-- I'VE BEEN FEELING REALLY LOST.
OH, SPARE ME, SERENA. THE ONLY THING THAT IS LOST IS
YOUR SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY AND CONSIDERATION.
IT SEEMS TO ME LIKE THE OLD SERENA IS BACK,
AND I'M NOT VERY HAPPY TO SEE HER.
SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE YOUR COAT OFF,
BECAUSE YOU'RE GROUNDED.
(beeps)
S.! YOU'RE BACK FROM SPAIN!
(Serena) Yeah. I just landed.
NO. MORE LIKE AVOIDING IT.
MY MOM AND CYRUS ARE HOSTING PASSOVER.
I THOUGHT FIRSTBORNS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SPARED.
I'm getting a dress fitted at Reem Acra,
AND THEN NATE AND I ARE GOING TO HIS COUSIN'S REHEARSAL DINNER.
S., I'M ONE OF THE CHOSEN ONES.
(presses button)
(elevator bell dings)
THAT'S GREAT. UM, LISTEN, I HAVE TO RUN SOME ERRANDS,
BUT LET'S TALK LATER, OKAY?
I THOUGHT MAUREEN WAS ONLY HAVING FIVE BRIDESMAIDS.
IT WAS KIND OF LAST MINUTE.
AND I THINK A LITTLE HIGHER ON THE HEM.
(grunts) SO I'M GONNA NEED A COUPLE MINUTES
TO PRACTICE MY TRAY BALANCING.
I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.
ALTHOUGH I HAVE A FEELING I-I'LL BE A TRAY-BALANCING WUNDERKIND.
ARE YOU GONNA DO THIS NERVOUS TALKING THING ALL NIGHT?
NO, I'M SORRY. I-I DIDN'T TELL MY DAD I TOOK THIS JOB,
AND I-I FEEL SO BAD KEEPING IT FROM HIM,
I'LL TAKE THAT AS A "YES."
(grunts) OH.
GOOD. YOU'RE HERE.
I JUST RAN OUT TO BUY SOME CANDLES.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE JUST CAN'T LIGHT SOME VOTIVES.
YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.
HAVE YOU WORKED FOR ME BEFORE?
I DID CALL THEM, AND THEY CANNOT SEND OVER A REPLACEMENT.
THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY OVEREXTENDED.
MRS. WALDORF, I'M SURE THAT BETWEEN CORRINE
DOROTA HAS THE WEEKEND OFF.
AND I ABSOLUTELY NEED TWO SERVERS.
CYRUS' MOTHER'S COMING, AND SHE HATES ME.
I HAVE NEVER THROWN A SEDER BEFORE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY HALF THE WORDS
IN THIS PRAYER BOOK THAT'S NAMED FOR LIEBERMAN'S WIFE.
SHE, UH, SHE'S HADASSAH.
THE--I THINK THE PRAYER BOOK IS CALLED HAGGADAH.
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I-I DON'T--
BUT BLAIR WON'T BE HERE.
AND YOU DON'T SERVE KNISHES AT PASSOVER.
I'LL DOUBLE YOUR PAY...
FOR BOTH OF YOU.
I COULD REALLY USE THE MONEY.
UM...
(sighs) FINE.
GREAT. HERE ARE THE LINENS.
PUT ONE OF THESE AT EVERY PLACE.
CYRUS? CYRUS, I THINK THE BRISKET'S BURNIN'.
OH, NO. NOT AT ALL, MRS. CHISMER.
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.
HI.
SO I'LL SEE YOU TUESDAY AT THE WHITNEY?
SO...
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS WHOLE COLLEGE THING.
I'M GOING TO COLUMBIA.
OKAY.
OH, MAYBE IT'S JUST MY OLD PREJUDICE SPEAKING,
BUT, UM, YALE--
YALE ONLY ACCEPTED ME BECAUSE OF MY GRANDFATHER.
I DON'T WANT TO OWE HIM OR MY FAMILY ANYTHING.
AFTER TONIGHT, WE'RE DONE WITH THEM.
OH, B., TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T INVITED
TO NATE AND TRIPP'S LUNCH, 'CAUSE WHATEVER HAPPENED,
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE THE ONE PAYING.
CYRUS!
YOUR MOTHER'S HERE.
GOD, WHERE IS THAT MAN?
I CAN CERTAINLY LOOK INTO THE LEGALITIES OF IT,
BUT... I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR MOTHER.
WE'RE--WE'RE NOT IN A GOOD PLACE RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T THINK I COULD GO UP TO HER AND SAY,
"SORRY, BUT I SORT OF GOT MARRIED IN SPAIN.
"BUT DON'T WORRY.
CYRUS IS HELPING ME GET A QUICKIE ANNULMENT."
SHE'S YOUR MOTHER. SH--
UM, SORRY. YOU WHAT?
POPPY AND GABRIEL GET IN THIS HUGE FIGHT,
AND THEN SHE JUST LEAVES, ABANDONING ME AND GABRIEL.
WELL, YOU DID A ***-UP JOB.
DAN, PLEASE. GABRIEL AND POPPY WERE OVER,
AND IT'S NOT LIKE EITHER ONE OF US PLANNED THIS.
THIS--THIS THING BETWEEN US JUST HAPPENED,
THIS "THING" WAS A MARRIAGE. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
I DON'T KNOW. I-I WASN'T. BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I AM MARRIED.
HOW DOES ONE NOT KNOW IF ONE IS MARRIED?
WELL, THERE WAS A DINNER,
AND THEN WE HAD A LOT OF RIOJA
AND THEN DANCING AND THEN MORE RIOJA
OKAY, SKIP THAT PART.
YEAH. YEAH, UM, SO--SO THE NEXT THING I KNOW,
GABRIEL IS JUST SCREAMING, "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"
AND HE'S BANGING ON THIS CHURCH DOOR,
O-OKAY--OKAY, SO THERE WAS A PRIEST. DID YOU SAY "I DO"?
WELL, I-I SAID "Sí."
I DON'T KNOW. IT W-WAS ALL IN SPANISH.
IT WAS--IT WAS CRAZY.
WHAT?
YOU RAN OFF TO SPAIN WITH A GUY YOU BARELY KNOW.
NO, I WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING,
AND I THOUGHT, "WHAT HAVE I DONE? THIS IS CRAZY."
AND I GOT ON THE NEXT FLIGHT OUT AND HERE I AM TALKING TO CYRUS.
YOU'RE A--YOU'RE LIKE-- YOU'RE A WIFE.
SERENA, WE WERE TOGETHER FOR A YEAR,
AND WE DIDN'T MAKE IT TO JUNIOR PROM.
YOU'RE WITH THIS GUY FOR LESS THAN A MONTH,
AND YOU GET MARRIED, SO I MEAN, YEAH,
IT'S A LITTLE BIT INSULTING.
I-I HAVE TO-- I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.
WAIT. WAIT. ARE YOU SERVING ELEANOR'S SEDER?
NO.
SORT OF. I MEAN, YES.
YES...
YOU'RE THE WIFE OF THE LANDED GENTRY,
AND I'M A CATER WAITER AT A SEDER.
DAN, WAIT.
(Dinah Washington's "Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby?
(Rae & Christian Remix)' playing)
♪ I'VE GOT A MAN WHO'S ALWAYS LATE ♪
♪ ANY TIME WE HAVE A DATE ♪
♪ BUT I LOVE HIM ♪
NATE, TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.
IT'S FINE.
LISTEN, I'M JUST-- I'M JUST GLAD YOU'RE HERE, OKAY?
YOU KNOW, NOW MIGHT NOT BE A GOOD TIME
TO SAY ANYTHING TO YOUR GRANDFATHER ABOUT COLUMBIA.
WELL, THAT SHOULD BE EASY, SINCE I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK TO HIM.
♪ AND I'M GONNA HAVE HIM ♪
IS THERE A PROBLEM, BLAIR?
(glasses clink)
(elevator bell dings)
("Hatikvoh" playing)
OH, ELEANOR, THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS.
PLEASE. I WAS VERY HAPPY THAT YOU INVITED YOURSELF.
(whispers) CYRUS' MOTHER-- SHE HATES ME.
(normal voice) ANOTHER FRIENDLY FACE IS ALWAYS WELCOME.
HEY.
OH, DO YOU KNOW THAT...
YOU'LL FIND OUT.
HEY, UH...
THAT'S ALLAN LEVY, THE ART COLLECTOR.
WELL, HE'S AN OLD FRIEND OF CYRUS'.
YOU'VE BEEN SAYING THE MID-RANGE ART MARKET IS DEAD, SO I THOUGHT
LIL, I APPRECIATE YOU TRYING TO HELP,
BUT I AM NOT FAWNING OVER AN *** LIKE ALLAN LEVY
OH, GOD.
(sighs) UM, I'M J-- I'M JUST HERE 'CAUSE--
BECAUSE I INVITED HIM.
OH. LOVELY.
I'M SORRY THAT I SNUCK OUT, MOM, BUT I HAD TO SEE BLAIR.
SHE INVITED ME TO SEDER, SO I INVITED DAN.
WELL, LUCKY FOR YOU,
I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE A SCENE AT ELEANOR'S.
DAN, YOU'RE DRESSED JUST LIKE A CATER WAITER.
YEAH, WELL, Y-YOU GO FOR A CLASSIC LOOK WITH A BLACK TIE
SERENA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
STRANGE. BLAIR MADE IT ABSOLUTELY CLEAR
THAT SHE WASN'T GOING TO BE HERE, BUT PLEASE STAY.
DANIEL, WOULD YOU GO DOWNSTAIRS AND GET THE KOSHER WINE
AND COULD YOU PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF
THAT WAS SORTA RUDE.
ATTABOY.
YEAH.
I WOULD HAVE INVITED YOU TO THE LOFT,
BUT THE ONLY CHEF WE HAVE THERE IS MY DAD,
AND HIS SPECIALTIES ARE WAFFLES AND EMBARRASSING ME.
DO YOU WANT THE TOP HAT OR THE RACE CAR?
THIS ISN'T THE SAME GIRL I USED TO SEE
HANGING OUT ON THE STEPS OF THE MET.
(elevator bell dings)
GREAT.
GOOD EVENING.
IF YOU HEAR SCREAMS, DON'T BE ALARMED. WE'RE FINE.
I THINK I'LL BE THE THIMBLE.
RUFUS' GALLERY IS IN WILLIAMSBURG.
YOU SHOULD MOVE YOUR GALLERY TO THE CITY.
WILLIAMSBURG IS ALREADY OVER.
I DIDN'T REALIZE A WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD COULD BE OVER.
MY FRIENDS, IT'S TIME FOR THE SEDER TO BEGIN.
DAN, UH, I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M REALLY SORRY.
(Eleanor) DAN, WE NEED MATZO!
SERENA, BEING ELEANOR'S *** BOY IS ABOUT ALL I CAN TAKE
RIGHT NOW, SO I... (chuckles) I REALLY DON'T NEED YOUR PITY.
OKAY, BUT JUST PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT HAPPENED
BETWEEN ME AND GABRIEL HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
UH, YEAH, SURE.
BUT A PERSON DOESN'T JUST GO OFF AND SUDDENLY GET MARRIED.
(Eleanor) DAN!
I GOTTA GET MATZO.
(Sarah Vaughn) ♪ WHATEVER LOLA WANTS ♪
BLAIR.
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING TO NATE?
HE FEELS LUCKY, YOU KNOW, THAT YOU TWO ARE BACK TOGETHER.
HE TOLD ME HOW MUCH YOU'VE BOTH CHANGED. IS THAT TRUE?
YES.
OF COURSE.
WE'VE CHANGED A LOT.
WELL, BE GOOD TO HIM, OKAY?
WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?
(utensil clinking glass)
WELL, GOOD EVENING.
MOST OF YOU KNOW ME.
I'M NATE ARCHIBALD, TRIPP'S COUSIN.
WHEN TRIPP ASKED ME TO BE THE BEST MAN IN HIS WEDDING,
I WAS A LITTLE BIT SURPRISED, TO SAY THE LEAST.
BUT I GUESS GRANDFATHER TOLD HIM TO CHOOSE ME
(laughter)
BUT WE ALL KNOW HOW IMPORTANT FAMILY IS
TO WILLIAM VAN DER BILT. BUT WHAT WE DON'T KNOW ARE
THE MANY SECRET WAYS HE HELPS US ALL OUT.
FOR INSTANCE, TODAY I DISCOVERED
HE WAS THE ONE WHO HAD MY FATHER INVESTIGATED BY THE AUTHORITIES.
(scoffs) AND IF HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT FAMILY,
THEN WHY DID HE DESTROY MINE?
SO I GUESS THE LESSON HERE...
TRIPP, OLD BUDDY...
IS WATCH YOUR BACK.
TO FAMILY.
(guests murmuring)
UH-OH, B.
LOOKS LIKE YOU HITCHED YOUR WAGON TO A FALLING STAR.
(elevator bell dings)
YES, I'M GABRIEL. I'M LOOKING FOR SERENA.
BARUCH ATAH AY DIOS MIO.
THIS PASSOVER IS GONNA GET ITS OWN SPANISH INQUISITION.
SO PASSOVER IS A HOLIDAY THAT CELEBRATES
THE JEWISH PEOPLE'S FLIGHT FROM SLAVERY TO FREEDOM.
(whispering) YOU NEED TO COME TO THE FOYER.
(whispers) DAN, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET,
...WE LIGHT THE CANDLES.
YOU REALLY NEED TO COME OUT THERE, LIKE, RIGHT NOW.
NORMALLY WE DO THIS BEFORE SUNSET,
BUT I WON'T TELL IF YOU DON'T.
♪♪
EXCUSE ME.
(Cyrus) BARUCH ATAH ADONAI
ELOHEINU MELECH HA'OLAM...
WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT?
(sighs)
EXACTLY.
GABRIEL, WH-WHAT-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
HOW CAN YOU ASK ME THAT? I WOKE UP AND YOU WERE GONE.
BUT HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND ME?
I CALLED YOUR APARTMENT.
THE GUY WHO ANSWERED SAID YOU'D PROBABLY BE HERE.
HE ALSO ASKED ME IF I HAD ANY HASH.
NO, YOU'RE NOT LEAVING. PLEASE. I CAN CALL YOU,
NO, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
WE HAVE TO TALK. YOU OWE ME AT LEAST THAT.
PLEASE, GABRIEL, DON'T.
WHY WON'T YOU EVEN TALK TO ME?
BECAUSE DAN IS MY BOYFRIEND. WE GOT IN A FIGHT
BEFORE I LEFT FOR SPAIN, AND ONCE I GOT THERE,
I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY,
BUT NO MATTER WHAT, I-I HAD TO COME BACK.
DAN WAS MY FIRST LOVE, AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT.
YEAH, IT, UH, IT'S TRUE. IT'S TRUE.
I LOVE SERENA.
NO MATTER WHAT CRAZY THING SHE DOES,
UH, I-I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER.
I'M SORRY, BUT, SERENA,
YOU'VE--YOU'VE NEVER MENTIONED HIM BEFORE.
WELL, I'M SURE I HAD TO COME UP AT LEAST ONCE.
AT ANY POINT?
GABRIEL, I WILL CALL YOU, BUT Y-YOU DO HAVE TO LEAVE.
THIS IS A FAMILY DINNER.
DAN, CYRUS SAYS THAT WE ARE MISSING A LAMB BONE.
OH, HELLO.
IS THIS ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS?
YEAH, UM, SORT OF, BUT HE'S LEAVING.
I APOLOGIZE. I DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT YOUR EVENING.
OH, NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL. WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US?
NO, NO, I'M SURE HE CAN'T.
NO, NO. I'D LOVE TO MEET THE PEOPLE IN SERENA'S LIFE.
WONDERFUL. THERE'S EVEN AN EMPTY SEAT.
IT'S FOR ELIJAH, BUT YOU CAN TAKE IT.
YOU ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER OF LOSING YOUR TIP.
(Flo Rida and Kesha) ♪ WHEN YOU GO DOWN, WHEN YOU GO DOWN ♪
(Flo Rida) ♪ HEY, WALK OUT MY HOUSE WITH MY SWAGGER ♪
DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
WHAT? NO, OF COURSE NOT.
YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO FIX IT.
BEFORE YOU TAKE A STAND ON PRINCIPLE,
REMEMBER WHAT YOU HAVE AT STAKE.
OR DO YOU PLAN TO SPEND NEXT YEAR SEWING BUTTONS
AT YOUR MOTHER'S ATELIER? NOW GO.
♪ THEN POP IN THE NEXT AND THIS MIX WILL BE OURS ♪
THEN WE EAT THE AFIKOMEN,
SAY THE BLESSING AFTER THE MEAL,
SING A FEW SONGS, AND THEN WE'RE DONE.
SO AS SOON AS EVERYONE HAS SOME WINE, WE'LL BEGIN.
WAIT. WE HAVEN'T STARTED.
UH, I'M SORRY. ARE YOU THE GABRIEL
AS IN THE GABRIEL THAT WAS IN SPAIN
YES. IN FACT--
OH, WELL, THANK YOU, DEAR.
WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRINK IT UNTIL THE BLESSING,
BUT, UH, WE'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION THIS TIME.
RUFUS, DO YOU REPRESENT ANY ARTISTS WORTH MY ATTENTION?
ALL OF MY ARTISTS ARE WORTH ATTENTION.
OTHERWISE I WOULDN'T REPRESENT THEM.
♪ HEY, SHAWTY MUST KNOW I'M THE MAN ♪
♪ MY MONEY LOVE HER ♪
WHY IS HE SERVING THE WINE? ISN'T HE SUPPOSED TO BE...
HE IS JUST HELPFUL. THAT'S ALL.
DAN, BABY, UM, COME SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME, PLEASE.
OH, WELL, THAT'S WHERE WE JUST MOVED ELIJAH.
♪♪
BUT NEVER MIND.
ELEANOR, YOU DON'T MIND IF HE JOINS US, DO YOU?
AT THIS POINT, WHY NOT? WE'RE NOT EATING ANY TIME SOON.
♪ "DAMN IT, I KNOW YOU," YOU WANNA SHOOT... ♪
OH, NO. YOU TWO HAVEN'T--
NOW WE WILL SAY THE KIDDUSH, OR PRAYER FOR THE FIRST CUP.
I'LL SAY THIS IN ENGLISH BECAUSE AS I LOOK AROUND THIS TABLE,
I SEE THAT MOST OF OUR GUESTS ARE NOT SPEAKERS OF HEBREW.
(Cyrus) WE PRAISE YOU, ADONAI, OUR GOD,
RULER OF THE UNIVERSE, WHO CREATES THE FRUIT OF THE VINE...
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' MORE BEAUTIFUL TO BE FOUND ♪
♪ IT'S GOIN' DOWN, DOWN ♪
♪ FROM THE TOP OF THE POLE, I WATCH HER GO DOWN ♪
♪ SHE GOT ME THROWIN' MY MONEY AROUND ♪
WHAT? DO YOU NOT LIKE?
HAVE WE DONE THIS BEFORE?
I THOUGHT YOU'D REMEMBER.
LAST YEAR, AFTER SLEEPING BEAUTY...
I NEED TO GET A DRINK.
NO! UGH.
NOT AGAIN.
THAT TAKES YOU RIGHT TO MY PROPERTY--MARVIN GARDENS.
WHAT A SHOCK. THE GIRL FROM BROOKLYN'S A RENTER.
IT APPEARS I ALREADY DID, A YEAR AGO.
I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE NOTICED IN THE ELEVATOR.
HEY, UM, DO YOU WANNA GO FOR A WALK?
OKAY. SURE.
I'LL JUST MEET YOU AT THE ELEVATOR.
OKAY.
YOU KNOW, JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED WITH YOUR OWN LIFE
DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO MAKE EVERYONE AROUND YOU MISERABLE.
(scoffs) PLEASE. AFTER WHAT YOU DID
AT THE KISS ON THE LIPS PARTY LAST YEAR,
LIKE I WOULD EVER LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE AS YOU.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LUCKY I DIDN'T TELL MY DAD,
BECAUSE IF I DID, HE'D MAKE LILY CHOOSE--US OR YOU--
DO YOU REALLY THINK I CARE IF LILY KICKS ME OUT?
YEAH, I DO, BECAUSE YOU LOST BLAIR,
AND NOW SHE'S DATING YOUR BEST FRIEND.
SO THEREFORE THE ONLY HUMAN CONTACT THAT YOU HAVE
THAT YOU DON'T PAY FOR IS THE PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE.
KNOWING YOU, YOU'LL SCREW THAT UP, TOO.
ARE YOU COMING BACK?
YOU CAN LET YOURSELF OUT.
NATE.
BLAIR, I'M... I'M SO SORRY.
I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU.
IT'S FINE. ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH.
I MEAN, NO, I'M NOT.
YOU KNOW, I TRUSTED HIM.
I MEAN, WAS I WRONG?
NO.
YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
I'M GONNA GO GET MY COAT. THEN WE CAN GO.
OKAY.
NATHANIEL.
I DID TURN YOUR FATHER IN,
BUT ONLY AFTER I CONFRONTED HIM AND BEGGED HIM TO STOP.
WHEN HE DENIED IT TO MY FACE,
I WARNED HIM THAT I WOULD TAKE ACTION.
FINALLY...
TO PREVENT FURTHER DAMAGE TO YOU AND YOUR MOTHER,
I CALLED THE S.E.C.
AND I'D DO IT AGAIN.
WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST TOLD ME THIS?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, NATHANIEL--THE TRUTH?
YES. I'M JUST SO TIRED OF PEOPLE LYING TO ME
AND GOING BEHIND MY BACK.
OKAY.
LET'S START AGAIN. NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.
BUT IN THAT CASE,
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW.
WATCH OUT, B.
IT SEEMS LIKE JUST WHEN YOU GOT IT RIGHT,
WILLIAM VAN DER BILT IS GOING TO DO YOU WRONG.
THAT WAS THE WASHING OF THE HANDS,
ALSO CALLED THE TITLE 88
OF THE NEW YORK CITY HEALTH CODE.
(laughter)
NEXT WE HAVE THE DIPPING OF THE VEGETABLE.
OH, YES, PARSLEY.
SO ARE YOU TWO REALLY TOGETHER AGAIN?
(Cyrus) SO IF, UH, CORRINE WOULD GET EVERYONE
WAIT. I'M SORRY. WHY DOESN'T EVERYBODY
SEEM TO KNOW THE TWO OF YOU ARE BACK TOGETHER?
SHH. THERE'S PRAYING ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
THAT'S FINE.
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? YOU JUST BROKE UP TWO MONTHS AGO.
MM. IT'S COMPLICATED.
ELEANOR'S FRIENDS ARE TALKING DURING THE SEDER.
THANK YOU.
I'M SORRY. I-I JUST DON'T BELIEVE HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND.
I THINK IT'S KIND OF A CLASSIC LOOK.
WELL, HE IS MY BOYFRIEND,
AND WE ARE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.
SERENA-- I AM SO SORRY, CYRUS.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
I-I'M A CATER WAITER.
(sighs)
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW,
SO--SO WE WERE PRETENDING THAT WE'RE BACK TOGETHER.
SHE'S JUST TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND, REALLY.
I'M SORRY. MR. ROSE, MRS. WALDORF, I'M VERY SORRY.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED. NOW TAKE YOUR PARSLEY...
HOLD ON. I'M--I'M SORRY.
IS THIS YOU TRYING TO HELP WITH COLLEGE?
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO, DAD,
BUT I-I COULDN'T DO NOTHING.
BY THE WAY, SERENA AND I MAY NOT BE TOGETHER,
BUT I DO CARE ABOUT HER VERY MUCH.
NOW WHO NEEDS MORE WINE?
SERENA, A WORD?
(Cyrus) ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SKIP THE BITTER HERBS.
UH, MOVING ON TO THE MATZO.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M, UH, I NEED SOME AIR.
I'M GONNA WALK HOME, SO YOU JUST--JUST GO AHEAD, OKAY?
NATE, WHAT'S WRONG?
I'M PROUD OF WHAT YOU DID BACK THERE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE, TOO.
DID YOU TELL MY GRANDFATHER
YOU WOULD CONVINCE ME TO GO TO YALE
IN EXCHANGE FOR HIM MAKING YOU A BRIDESMAID?
I CAN EXPLAIN.
THAT'S GREAT, YOU KNOW?
FIRST MY GRANDFATHER SELLS MY FATHER OUT,
AND THEN YOU SELL ME OUT FOR A PICTURE IN THE STYLE SECTION.
NO. BUT I DIDN'T!
I MEAN, GOD, I DID,
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THIS TIME WOULD BE DIFFERENT.
BUT YOU'RE JUST--YOU'RE JUST THE SAME GIRL YOU ALWAYS WERE.
NO, I'M NOT! I...
I WAS JUST SCARED ABOUT NEXT YEAR AND US.
NATE, PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
I WANT TO TRUST YOU.
OKAY? BUT...
I CAN'T THINK OF A SINGLE REASON WHY I SHOULD.
THE CAR WILL TAKE YOU HOME.
SO THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE?
THE DAY IS NOT EVEN OVER, AND YOU'VE ALREADY DEFIED ME
IT WASN'T A SCENE.
YES, IT WAS, RIGHT OUT OF THE OLD SERENA PLAYBOOK.
YOU COULD HAVE THROWN IN A FEW BOYS FROM THE LACROSSE TEAM,
AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
THE CONSTANCE MOTHER-DAUGHTER LUNCHEON ALL OVER AGAIN.
WELL, I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
MOM, I KNOW THAT I HAVE HURT YOU AND ERIC AND BLAIR.
I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS THAT I'M NOT PROUD OF,
AND I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO THAT, BUT IT WASN'T ALL BAD.
I MISS THE GOOD PARTS. I MISS FEELING FREE,
FEELING LIKE I CAN DO SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO,
WELL, OF COURSE THERE DOES.
BUT IF EVERY TIME I MAKE A MISTAKE,
YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M A BAD PERSON,
OH, SWEETHEART, I COULD NEVER THINK OF YOU AS A BAD PERSON.
YOU GOT INTO BROWN.
THE LETTER CAME WHILE YOU WERE AWAY.
I GOT INTO BROWN?
YEAH.
OH.
AND I DO TRUST YOU.
I GOT INTO BROWN.
(laughs)
NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT GABRIEL?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
OH, PLEASE. HE WAS A LITTLE TOO UPSET ABOUT DAN
TO, UM, BE JUST A FRIEND.
I DON'T KNOW. I, UM, I LIKE HIM,
BUT IT'S KIND OF A MESS.
SOMETIMES THOSE MESSES CAN BE FUN.
I'M SORRY. IF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THAT HOT GUY FROM DINNER,
HE JUST LEFT.
GABRIEL.
GABRIEL.
YOU WANTED ME TO LEAVE. I LEFT.
I'M SORRY THAT I LIED, BUT YOU SCARED ME,
SHOWING UP HERE LIKE THAT.
I AM JUST NOT READY TO BE MARRIED.
IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK IS GOING ON?
WELL, YEAH,
WE WERE IN A CHURCH, AND THERE WAS A PRIEST.
AT LEAST I THINK HE WAS A PRIEST.
OF COURSE WE'RE NOT MARRIED.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THAT WAS THE PRIEST I WOKE UP.
R... REALLY?
REALLY. WE WERE JUST HAVING FUN, DOING SOMETHING CRAZY.
OH.
OH, I, UM...
WOW. WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF.
SO THAT WAITER'S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND?
NO.
WHAT ABOUT ME?
SERENA.
AH, CRUEL FATE.
JUST AS SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN IS FALLING IN LOVE,
BLAIR WALDORF IS FALLING APART.
(knock on door)
(sighs) LOOK, I TOLD YOU,
I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.
GOOD. NEITHER AM I.
WAS IT STUPID OF ME TO THINK BLAIR CHANGED?
YES.
SO SHE'S JUST...
THE WAY SHE IS.
I MEAN, IT'S STUPID FOR YOU TO WANT HER TO BE ANYTHING
OTHER THAN SHE IS.
ANYWAY, BLAIR IS CHANGING.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
BECAUSE SHE COULD HAVE HAD ME.
SHE CHOSE YOU.
NOW SHE JUST NEEDS SOMEONE TO BELIEVE IN HER.
TIME FOR A REFILL.
HEY. I'LL GET IT.
THANKS.
(sighs)
YOUR FATHER AND I ARE HEADING OUT,
AND I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO DO FOR SERENA.
YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.
I'M NOT A VERY GOOD CATER WAITER.
BUT I'M A GOOD SALESMAN.
YOU SOLD ALLAN LEVY A PAINTING.
IT ALSO GAVE ME AN IDEA OF SOMETHING ELSE I SHOULD SELL--
THE GALLERY.
DAD, COME ON.
WHEN I STARTED OUT, I WAS SELLING TO YOUNG COUPLES,
KIDS WHO HAD NO MONEY BUT LOVED ART,
AND SOMEHOW, OVER TIME, THAT CHANGED.
AND TONIGHT I REALIZED I JUST DON'T LOVE DOING THIS ANYMORE.
AND IF I'M REALLY HONEST,
I HAVEN'T FOR SOME TIME.
OH, WELL, OKAY. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I'M NOT SURE.
BUT I'M EXCITED TO FIND OUT.
SEE YOU AT HOME.
(faucet running)
I CAN'T BELIEVE I SOLD OUT NATE TO BE THE NEXT JACKIE O.
YEAH, I ALWAYS PICTURED YOU AS THE NEXT HILLARY.
EXCEPT I'D WIN.
(laughs)
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
BESIDES, WHO WANTS TO BE
ON THE JUNIOR COMMITTEE FOR THE WHITNEY ANYWAY?
DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THAT?
I LOST NATE. I DESERVE TO BE ALONE.
AND WHO WAS THAT TALL SNACK YOU WERE DEVOURING OUTSIDE?
OH, UH, THAT IS...
A LONG STORY.
BLAIR?
THERE IS SOMEONE DOWNSTAIRS WHO WANTS TO SPEAK WITH YOU.
I WAS PRETTY AWFUL TO CYRUS THIS MORNING.
I SHOULD GO APOLOGIZE.
B., I'M REALLY HAPPY TO BE HOME.
ARCHIBALD.
(Yeah Yeah Yeahs) ♪ I WAS FEELING SAD ♪
♪ CAN'T HELP LOOKING BACK ♪
♪ HIGHWAYS FLEW BY ♪
♪ RUN, RUN AWAY ♪
♪ NO SENSE OF TIME ♪
♪ LIKE YOU TO STAY ♪
♪ WANT TO KEEP YOU INSIDE ♪
HEY.
I THOUGHT MY DAD WOULD BE HERE,
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO MEET UP TO GO HOME.
HOW WAS YOUR DATE?
GOOD.
GREAT, ACTUALLY.
I NEVER APOLOGIZED
FOR WHAT HAPPENED LAST YEAR.
♪♪
I DEEPLY REGRET MY ACTIONS OF THAT NIGHT.
IF YOU EVER DO MOVE IN HERE...
I'LL MAKE SURE I'M NOT AROUND.
♪ RUN, RUN AWAY ♪
♪ NO SENSE OF TIME ♪
♪ LIKE YOU TO STAY ♪
♪ WANT TO KEEP YOU INSIDE ♪
♪♪
CYRUS.
I APOLOGIZE ABOUT MISSING THE SEDER
AND BEING SO SNOTTY ABOUT N.Y.U.
CAN YOU FORGIVE ME?
WELL, THAT'S WHY GOD INVENTED YOM KIPPUR.
AND WHEN YOU SAID YOU COULD CALL IN A FAVOR AT N.Y.U...
DID YOU MEAN IT?
WELL, I CARRIED J.R. ON MY BACK
FOR FIVE HOURS THROUGH THE JUNGLE.
BUT I CAN ONLY GET YOU AN INTERVIEW.
IT'S GONNA BE UP TO YOU TO WOW HIM.
MM.
SOUNDS LIKE WE'LL BOTH BE IN THE CITY.
NATE?
YES.
WELL, WHO DID YOU THINK I WAS TALKING ABOUT?
I'M SO SORRY.
♪ NOT SO STRONG WITHOUT THESE OPEN ARMS ♪
♪ HOLD ON TIGHT ♪
♪ I'M ♪
♪ NOT THAT STRONG WITHOUT THESE OPEN ARMS ♪
(beep)
HEY, GABRIEL. IT'S ME.
UH, I-I JUST WANTED TO SAY
THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WITH US, BUT, UM...
I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CAME BACK FOR ME.
OKAY. UM, THAT'S IT.
(giggles)
I-I WILL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW.
ON PASSOVER, WE ASK, WHY IS IT THAT THIS NIGHT
(vibrating)
BUT WHO ARE WE KIDDING?
SO...
TELL ME EVERYTHING.
TONIGHT'S NO DIFFERENT FROM THE REST.
THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN AROUND HERE.
SHALOM, GOSSIP GIRL.