Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Deep in space, hidden in an abandoned space station there lives a creature
that has been called the most perfect organism in the universe. Before they reach maturity,
they start out as these little face hugger guys, which as you can see are very cute,
who then inject their young into a host for further incubation. They are very similar
to insects they've got the eggs, the queens, the sticky stuff, everything really, except
their heads resemble a giant ***.
At the opposite end of the ring we've got a real treat. You think aliens are scary?
How about clowns? How about aliens that look like clowns? Now, I bet you're wondering why
the Killer Klowns but if you think about it these dudes are pretty hard core. They can
bring inanimate objects to life. They can turn humans into cotton candy and they can
even consume a group full of people with a shadow puppet. And a whole hell of a lot more.
Which brings us to this weeks middle weight matchup a Killer Klown from Outer Space versus
a Xenomorph. And fight!
Alright so to calculate the outcome of this epic death match, the contenders were rated
in three specific areas Strength, Intelligence and Special Abilities they may also receive
a five point penalty for any fatal flaws.
In strength, the Killer Klown scores relatively well considering he is just a fat *** clown
with a beer gut. As you can see from this clip, he can take a couple bullets to the
stomach and just keep on moving forward, moving full size desks to the side with one hand.
Now thats pretty tough. This guy even punches some guy's head off... Cool.
But the Xenomorphs are serious BAMFs. I mean were talking four shots to the head, point
blank range and they are not even phased. And can they pick up a full sized human with
their tail you ask? Yes, yes they can.
Killer Klown strength rating seven out of ten. Xenomorph strength rating eight and a
half out of ten.
Now intelligence is where the Killer Klowns do make a pretty decent comeback. I mean they
have traveled the galaxy they do have technology that man has never seen before. And I would
say through cotton candy conversion the Killer Klowns could have probably taken over the
world.
I wouldn't necessarily call the Xenomorphs stupid either but, you know, they've got their
moments.
Intelligence, Killer Klown scores eight out of ten. Xenomorph scores four out of ten...
Now, when it comes to special abilities they've both got a lot, so I better get through this
list quick. With the Xenomorphs we've basically got the body abilities. We've got the double
mouths, the slicing tail, the acid blood, the psychotic face huggers.
And lastly they've got that gooey *** which I mean they could do something with I don't
know stick you to something. Put you up against the wall. I don't know. But its pretty gross
at least. With the Killer their special abilities are definitely going to be their tools.
I mean they have an entire arsenal of weird ***. They've got heat seeking popcorn guns,
acid filled pies, laser guns. And then they have these little minions with clown heads
and snake tails, which I don't even really understand how they get around but you know
they could probably help in a fight... maybe. Killer Klowns special abilities eight out
of ten. Xenomorph seven and a half out of ten.
So far we've got killer clown in the lead with twenty three. Xenomorphs following at
twenty... but its not over. Killer Klown five point penalty! That's right, as bad *** as
the Killer Klowns from Outer Space do seem, they do carry one fatal flaw. Their nose seems
to be some sort of weird vital organ and its extremely easy to break. Not very good for
a fight. Xenomorph wins!
Have an idea for another matchup? Leave it in the comments and I'll see what I can do.
And please remember to subscribe.