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Hi! I'm Syd Wilder -and today, we're going to learn how to take a Slutty Selfie.
Step 1: Mindset.
You have to pretend like you don't have any family members, because the second you remember you have any...
Your face is ruined in all of your photos.
SYD'S DAD: Dinner! What are you doing?
SYD: Dad! You're ruining my photo!
SYD'S DAD: I did not raise you to be like this!
Duh, Dad -Instagram wasn't around then!
So basically, pretend like you're an orphan.
Obviously your bed is the best place to take your selfie.
But if you have to leave your bed, the second best option is your work!
Now, I don't have a job… but I know people that do. So I'll give you some examples.
Like my trainer,
my hair stylist,
and my nail lady.
Other great locations include:
Your car
the elevator
the beach, the gym, and of course -
--ANY public restroom!
Step 3: Faces. You need to take, like, 70 photos of yourself
So you have options to pick the perfect face.
The Duck Face
The Smiling Duck Face
The Surprise Face
The Seductress Face
And, of course -the I've got a secret face.
Step 4 -Props. My favorite props are:
Bananas
Books
Old People
Weed
Friends, Food.
And pretend like we eat food!
Other people's babies.
And of course, clothes -for your dog!
You need to come up with a funny caption for yourself
So people don't think that you're just trying to take a slutty selfie.
CAPTION: She was SO ready for this photo!
SYD'S FRIEND: Did you just? Are you gonna post that? SYD: No.
But if you're not funny, then just post a smart quote from someone else. That'll make you look really -hot.
CAPTION: "The only true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing" - Socrates
And the final step for taking a slutty selfie is: HASHTAGS!
There's a hashtag for every day of the week.
There's model monday, Tittie Tuesday
Humpday, Thong Thursday
Frisky Friday, Sexy Saturday
and of course -Slutty Selfie Sunday.
Stay slutty, my friends!
CAPTION: "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits" - Albert Einstein
Hey guys, thank you so much for watching my video, "How to take a slutty selfie"
I hope you learned a lot. If you could subscribe, comment, like
I would love you forever and I'm also holding a contest
on my Instagram -hashtag #SydSluttySelfie
Whoever sends the funniest slutty selfie to me will get a shoutout on my instagram, and on my YouTube
I want to see,
the most hysterical things you can think of - like all over town, all over your house.
And guys, DON'T SEND ME ANY *** PICS.
I don't want any *** pics. I have enough.
Anyways, just subscribe, like follow, @SydWilder. Do your thing!
I will see you next time -thank you guys so much!