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Admit it, Wonder twins,
the only reason why
the New Directions beat the
Trouble Tones at Sectionals
is because that pervy
clown judge was freakin'
high as a kite.
And we did Michael Jackson;
you guys didn't.
But that was, like,
weeks ago why are
you still obsessing?
One word, Kurt:
Michael.
You guys, fear not the world
tour of the Cirque du Soleil
tribute show, Immortal,
to Michael Jackson,
is coming to Columbus in June.
- We should all go.
- You don't get it.
I don't want tosee the
spectacle that is Michael,
I want to be the spectacle.
- Hey, guys.
Everything okay?
Look, we love being
back in New Directions,
but we hate that we missed
our one chance this
year to do Michael.
Yeah, I get it.
You know, I been thinking a lot
about Regionals, and maybe
we can do Michael again.
Well, I, for one, know exactly
what song we should start
Michael Week with.
(Intro to "Wanna Be Starting
Something" plays)
I said you wanna be
startin' somethin', you got ♪
To be startin' somethin' ♪
I said you wanna
be startin' somethin' ♪
You got to be
startin' somethin' ♪
- It's too high to get over ♪
- ♪Yeah, yeah♪
- You're too low to get under ♪
- ♪Yeah, yeah♪
You're stuck in the middle ♪
- ♪Yeah, yeah♪
- And the pain is thunder ♪
- ♪Yeah, yeah♪
- I took my baby to the doctor ♪
With a fever,
but nothin' he found ♪
By the time
this hits the street ♪
They said she
had a breakdown ♪
Someone's always tryin' ♪
To start my baby cryin' ♪
Talkin', squealin', lyin' ♪
Sayin' you just wanna
be startin' somethin' ♪
I said you wanna be
startin' somethin' ♪
But you got to be
startin' somethin' ♪
I said you wanna be
startin' somethin' ♪
But you got to be
startin' somethin' ♪
- Too high to get over ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- You're too low to get under ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- You're stuck in the middle ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- And the pain is thunder ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- Too high to get over ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- You're too low to get under ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- You're stuck in the middle ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- And the pain is thunder ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- You're a vegetable ♪
- You're a vegetable ♪
- You're a vegetable ♪
- You're a vegetable ♪
- They eat off of you ♪
- They eat off of you ♪
You're a vegetable, ow! ♪
Lift your head up high ♪
And scream out to the world ♪
I know I am someone ♪
And let the truth unfurl,
no one can ♪
Hurt you now,
because you know it's true ♪
Yes, I believe in me ♪
So you believe in you,
help me sing it ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Whoo-hoo! ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Hee, hee, hee! ♪
- Hee, hee, hee! ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
♪Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Help me sing it, baby ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Hee, hee, hee! ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Yeah! ♪
- Sing it to the world ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Sing it out loud, whoo-hoo! ♪
♪Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa♪
♪Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa♪
Help me sing it ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Whoo-hoo! ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Hee, hee, hee! ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Help me sing it ♪
- Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa ♪
- Whoo-hoo! ♪
♪Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa♪
♪Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa♪
♪Ma-ma-se, ma-ma-sa, ma-ma-coo-sa.
♪
Okay, it's been exactly
three days to the minute
since I proposed to you,
which is the amount of
time you said you needed
before you'd give me an answer.
Look, this isn't
the kind of decision
you can make on a deadline.
Look, I understand,
you said you needed
some time, but
not hearing a decision's
kind of bumming me out.
No.
Look
I love you, okay?
And I want to
marry you someday,
and I, really,
I'm open to anything.
This is all just
happening so fast,
and I don't understand it.
I mean, I I need you
to help me understand.
Okay, well,
even if you don't get
into NYADA,
you're still
gonna go to New York.
- Yes, and I want you to come with me.
- And I will,
but we're crazy if we think
that it's gonna be easier
to be a couple there
than it is here.
My point is that
those rings are-are
will always be a reminder
of exactly how
we feel right now.
They're gonna let us
world into the big city.
Look, that's really romantic,
but I have to be honest
really crazy to me, okay?
I don't need to marry you
you're the only guy for me.
Okay, I guess
my answer for now is
No, no, don't
don't say anything.
You're right, we shouldn't
decision on a deadline.
Just, uh
take a couple more days, okay?
Okay, favorite
Michael Jackson memory.
Go.
When I was one, my mom
of his Motown special,
and when he did the
moonwalk across the stage
for the first time in history,
I uttered my first words:
- "Hot damn.
"
- I owe the King of Pop
a deep debt of gratitude.
He was the first one to pull off
the sequined military jacket,
long before one Kurt Hummel
made it iconic.
I have to be honest
I never really got him.
And we are no longer
on speaking terms.
No, I think he's
an amazing performer, but I've
never really
just got what he was about.
Rachel, he was best friends with
Liza Minnelli and Liz Taylor.
No, all I'm saying is that
I-I just I haven't connected
with him the way that
I have with the likes of Barbra
or either of the Stephens.
Sondheim.
Schwartz.
I'd throw
this mocha in your face,
but it's not
nearly scalding enough.
Okay, but just, since you guys
are so jazzed about him,
I think it's a good idea.
Well, that might
not be the best idea.
Hey, Blaine.
Hello, everyone else.
Does he live here or something?
Seriously, you are always here.
Why don't you think
that's a good idea?
Because we're doing MJ
for Regionals.
You see, Warblers drew
first position,
so as soon as I heard what
your plan was,
list accordingly.
I'm sorry, how
how did you hear?
Uh, Blaine told me this morning.
I just called for
a tip on how to get
red wine out
of my blazer piping, and he
would not stop
going on about it.
I may have mentioned it.
- How often do you talk?
- Oh, my God, hey, Kurt.
I didn't recognize you.
You are wearing
boy clothes for once.
All right, twink, I think
it's time that I show you
a little Lima Heights
hospitality.
Unless you want to join
your relatives in prison,
that's probably
not the best idea.
You see, my dad is
call a state's attorney.
But if you had a piñata
you wanted delivered,
I bet he could make
sure that got to them.
All right, so here's
what you guys should know.
I am captain of
the Warblers now,
and I'm tired of playing nice.
There has to be some kind
of show choir competition
committee we can complain to.
I know it sucks,
the end of the world.
Heck, you had your set
of the competitiony
at Sectionals, and you
pulled that one off, right?
Well, they can have our
Journey and our Dreamgirls,
but pilfering my Michael, mm-mm,
that's another level, not okay.
I'm not exactly comfortable
with Blaine in the room.
Clearly, once a Warbler,
always a Warbler.
- Uh, wh-what?
- Dude, you told them
what we were gonna do.
You're like a modern-day
Eggs Benedict.
He's on notice
as far as I'm concerned.
We should all
be on notice.
I mean,
next to Vocal Adrenaline,
the Warblers
are the best Glee Club
in the state,
and for a lot of us, this is
our last shot at a championship,
so we should stop complaining
about the Warblers
and figure out how to beat them.
I couldn't have said it
better myself, Finn.
I'm less worried about
our set list right now
and more interested in getting
us in the right mindset
to crush those guys.
Which is why our
lesson for the week is
What Would Michael Jackson Do?
He'd fight back.
He'd say Regionals is ours,
MJ is ours,
and if they want it,
they can pry it
from our sequin-gloved hand.
- Mm-hmm.
Straight up.
In 1983, MTV said they wouldn't
air his "Billie Jean" video.
What'd he do?
He fought back.
They aired it,
and the Thriller album
sold an additional
ten million copies.
- That's right.
- I know what Michael would do.
I think he would take it
to the streets.
(Intro to "Billie Jean" plays)
Well we're here.
We got something to settle.
Both of us want to use MJ,
but only one can.
- We're having
A Jackson-off,
Nick at Nite.
Winner gets
the King of Pop for Regionals.
What, us against
the two of you?
You really think
you're that bad?
Is that what they teach you
at that little
public school of yours?
It's time to see who's bad.
("Billie Jean" fades
into intro to "Bad")
Ba, ba, ba, ba ♪
Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow ♪
Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow ♪
Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow ♪
Dow, dow, dow ♪
Your butt is mine ♪
Gonna take you right ♪
Just show your face ♪
In broad daylight ♪
I'm telling you ♪
On how I feel ♪
Gonna hurt your mind ♪
Don't shoot to kill ♪
Come on ♪
Come on, lay it on me ♪
All right ♪
Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow ♪
Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow ♪
Your lyin' eyes ♪
Gonna take you right ♪
So listen up ♪
Don't make a fight ♪
Your talk is cheap ♪
You're not a man ♪
You're throwing stones ♪
To hide your hands ♪
Well, they say
the sky's the limit ♪
And to me that's really true ♪
But, my friends,
you have seen nothing ♪
Just wait till I get through,
because I'm bad ♪
- Bad, bad ♪
- I'm bad ♪
- Really, really bad ♪
- Come on ♪
- You know I'm bad, I'm bad ♪
- Bad, bad ♪
- Really, really bad ♪
- You know it ♪
- You know I'm bad ♪
- Bad, bad ♪
- Really, really bad ♪
- Come on, you know ♪
And the whole world
has to answer right now ♪
Just to tell you once again,
who's bad! ♪
Dow, dow, dow, dow-dow ♪
Dow, dow, dow ♪
Dow-dow, dow, dow, dow ♪
Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh ♪
Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh ♪
Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
Oh ♪
Oh ♪
- ♪Yeah!♪
- 'Cause I'm bad, I'm bad ♪
- ♪Bad, really, really bad♪
- Come on ♪
- You know I'm bad, I'm bad ♪
- Bad, bad ♪
- Really, really bad ♪
- You know it, you know ♪
And the whole world
has to answer right now♪
Just to tell you once again♪
- You know I'm bad, I'm bad ♪
- Bad, bad ♪
- You know it ♪
- Really, really bad ♪
And the whole world
has to answer right now ♪
Just to tell you
once again, who's bad! ♪
Oh, my God!
How is he?
Is he okay?
Uh, it's his right eye.
Uh, the doctor says that
his cornea is deeply scratched
and he has to have surgery.
In all my years as
a teacher and a student,
I have never known a slushee
to do that kind of damage.
That's 'cause it wasn't
a normal slushee, Mr.
Shue.
There was stuff in it,
rocks or something.
He wanted to do that damage.
Well, unless you have
proof that he tampered
with the slushee
the police aren't interested
in getting involved.
Sebastian is evil.
He needs to be expelled.
Look, Figgins and I spoke
to Dalton's headmaster.
They're opening up
an investigation.
So, guys, I'm telling you,
please let the system
handle this one.
No.
Dalton's old-school,
Mr.
Shue they're not
gonna turn their backs
on one of their own
we need payback.
- An eye for an eye.
No.
I have a zero-tolerance
policy for violence, of any kind.
That's not how we do things.
No, we sing, and
that's all we ever do.
Do you want to get
disqualified from Regionals?
I don't give a damn
about Regionals.
What do you expect
from us? We're people.
I know the rest of the world
may not see us like that,
but when they tease us
and throw stuff at us
and toss us in Dumpsters
and tell us that we're
nothing but losers
with stupid dreams,
it freaking hurts.
And we're supposed to
turn the other cheek
and be the bigger man
by telling ourselves
that those dreams
and how hard we work
make us better than them,
but it gets pretty
damn hard to feel
that way when they
always get to win.
I get how upsetting
this is for you.
No, you don't,
and don't give me any of
that "it gets better" crap
because I'm not interested
in it getting any better.
I want it to be better,
like, right now.
I want to hurt them
the way they hurt us.
No, worse.
I want them to feel my pain
because frankly that's
all I have left to give.
Artie, take a break.
We'll be here
when you get back.
("Scream" begins)
Who's with me?
Hee ♪
Hee ♪
I'm tired of injustice ♪
I'm tired of the schemes ♪
It's kind of disgusting ♪
So what does it mean, Daddy? ♪
You're kickin' me down,
I got to get up ♪
As jacked as it sounds,
the whole system sucks, Daddy ♪
Hoo-hoo♪
- I peek in the shadow ♪
- Hoo-hoo ♪
- I come into the light ♪
- Hoo-hoo ♪
- But you tell me I'm wrong ♪
- Hee-hee ♪
Then you better prove
you're right ♪
You're sellin' out souls,
but I care about mine ♪
I've got to get stronger
and I won't give up the fight ♪
With such confusion don't it
make you wanna scream? ♪
Make you wanna scream ♪
Your bash abusin' victimizin'
with the scheme ♪
You try to cope with every lie
they scrutinize ♪
Somebody please have mercy ♪
'Cause I just can't take it ♪
Stop pressurin' me,
just stop pressurin' me ♪
Just stop pressurin' me ♪
Make me wanna scream ♪
Just stop pressurin' me,
just stop pressurin' me ♪
Just stop pressurin' me ♪
You make me wanna scream ♪
Oh, my God, can't believe what
I saw as I turned on the TV ♪
This evening ♪
I was disgusted
by all the injustice ♪
All the injustice ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
- Baby ♪
- Whoo ♪
Stop pressurin' me ♪
- Stop your pressure ♪
- Just stop pressurin' me ♪
- Stop your pressure ♪
- Just stop pressurin' me ♪
- You know you really make me wanna ♪
- You make me wanna scream ♪
- Just stop pressurin' me ♪
- Hee-hee ♪
- Just stop pressurin' me ♪
- Stop your pressure ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
- You make me wanna scream ♪
- Baby ♪
- Stop pressurin' me ♪
- Got to do it ♪
- Just stop pressurin' me ♪
- Stop your pressure ♪
Just stop pressurin' me ♪
You make me wanna scream.
♪
Artie? Artie.
I think I better roll away.
Hey.
Look, I need your advice,
all right, about,
about an adult problem.
- Holy crap, are you pregnant?
- No.
Look, I'm, I'm coming
to you as a friend
and, oddly, because
I also think
that you're the only
person that'll give me
just a, a straightforward
and a thoughtful
answer about this.
You're right, I'm sorry.
Yes, I can keep a secret.
Okay well, um
Finn asked me to marry him.
What did you say?
I said I-I needed
to think about it.
Well, you can't.
Why?
I mean, plenty of people
get married at our age,
and, I mean, I know that
he and I haven't lived together
or anything,
but, you know, I love him
and he's the one, I know it.
What's this?
My ticket out of here.
I got into Yale,
early admissions.
Turns out my essay
about overcoming adversity
while maintaining
a straight-A average
during a teen pregnancy
really turned on
the admissions boards.
Quinn, that's amazing.
That's so great.
That's great.
I'm sure you'll get
your NYADA one soon.
Oh, yeah, I mean, New York mail
is notoriously slow, so it's
My point being is that
I've dated Finn, Puck, Sam.
Even thought I loved
some of them,
but by the time
the snow falls in New Haven
next winter, I won't know why.
So are, are you saying that
Finn and I should break up?
I'm all for making the most
of the next few months,
but I'd hate the idea
o-of dragging
an anchor from my past
into the bright lights
of my future.
Rachel, you have
an amazing life ahead of you.
As hard as it may be,
if you want everything
that you've ever dreamed of,
you're going to have
to break up with him.
- That's an awful thing to say.
- Look,
you wanted straight
and thoughtful.
I guess at one point
it made sense to love somebody
for your whole life,
but it doesn't anymore.
Women are finding themselves
in their 30s now.
Every magazine says it.
We hardly know
what we're going
to want in 15 years.
I mean, Finn and I
we can grow together.
Look, Rachel you and Finn
are a lovely couple.
But if you really want
to be happy,
you're going to have
to say good-bye.
("Never Can Say Good-bye"
playing)
♪Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh♪
Never can say good-bye ♪
- ♪Say good-bye♪
- No, no, no, no, now ♪
- Never can say good-bye ♪
- Say good-bye ♪
Even though the pain
and heartache ♪
Seems to follow me
wherever I go ♪
Though I try and try
to hide my feelings ♪
They always seem to show ♪
Then you try to say
you're leaving me ♪
And I always have to say no ♪
Tell me why ♪
Tell me why ♪
Is it so? ♪
Is it so? ♪
Don't wanna let you go ♪
I never can say
good-bye, boy ♪
Never can say good-bye, boy ♪
- Ooh, baby ♪
- Don't wanna let you go, boy ♪
- I never can say good-bye ♪
- No, no, no, no, no, no ♪
- No, no, no ♪
- Ooh ♪
Oh, I never can say
good-bye, boy ♪
Never can say good-bye, boy ♪
- Ooh, baby ♪
- Don't wanna let you go, boy ♪
- I never can say good-bye ♪
- No, no, no, no, no, no ♪
- No, no, no ♪
- Ooh ♪
Never can say good-bye ♪
Say good-bye, boy ♪
I keep thinkin'
that our problems ♪
Soon are all gonna work out ♪
But there's
that same unhappy feeling ♪
And there's that anguish,
there's that doubt ♪
It's the same old
dizzy hang-up ♪
Can't do with you or without ♪
Tell me why ♪
Tell me why ♪
- Is it so? ♪
- Is it so? ♪
Don't wanna let you go ♪
I never can say
good-bye, boy ♪
- Never can say good-bye, boy ♪
- Ooh, baby ♪
- I never can say good-bye ♪
- No, no, no, no, no, no ♪
- No, no, no ♪
- Ooh ♪
Oh, I never can say
good-bye, boy ♪
Never can say good-bye, boy ♪
Ooh, baby ♪
- I never can say good-bye ♪
- No, no, no, no, no, no ♪
No, no, no ♪
Never, never, never,
never, never, never, never ♪
I never can say
good-bye, boy ♪
I got to have ya ♪
I never can say
good-bye to you ♪
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
♪
Wow, Quinn, that
was incredible.
Even more incredible
is her big news.
Tell them.
I got into Yale.
Yale.
Whoo!
It's just
it-it's amazing.
After everything
you've been through,
you really deserve this, Quinn.
We are so proud
of you, Quinn.
I want to thank you guys
because without each
and every one of you,
this would have never happened.
You supported me and loved me
through all the drama, and
that's why I'm standing here.
I wasted so much time
hating myself
for the stupid mistakes
that I made,
but the truth is, is that
without all of those,
I never would have dreamed this
to be my future.
I was the only one standing
in the way of myself.
You can't change your past
but you can let go
and start your future.
Yale, yeah.
Yale!
Oh, my God!
Hey, what are you doing?
Trying to keep the flames
from shooting
out of the side of my face.
Well, that outfit isn't helping.
I agree with Artie.
I'm tired of being
stepped on all the time.
I take a lot of crap from
a lot of people, but I refuse
to take it from Sebastian
the Criminal Chipmunk,
so I've been sitting here
for the last hour,
making a list of ways
to get back at him.
Well, today is your lucky
day, because Auntie Snixx
just arrived on the
Bitchtown Express.
Now, my suggestion
is that we drag him
bound and gagged
to a tattoo parlor
for a *** stamp that
reads "Tips Appreciated" or
"Congratulations, You're
My 1,000th Customer!"
After what he did to Blaine,
I really wanted
to hurt him.
But I can't.
I've fought against violence
at this school for too long.
I, I have to take
the high road.
You know what, Prancy Smurf?
I respect that.
You're probably right.
I want to go to a college
that isn't a FEMA trailer
in a prison yard,
so let's take the high road.
We're not going to beat
Sebastian by playing dirty
but we are going to beat him.
You know why I like this
week's assignment so much?
Hands down, without a doubt,
one of my favorite singers
of all time is Michael Jackson.
Listen, if I have to hawk
my weave on eBay,
I'm going to see
the Immortal tour
when it comes to Ohio.
Speaking of immortal
Since we're gonna be seeing
your name up in lights
for the rest
of our lives, I thought
we might as well start today.
Sam Evans,
you are crazy.
Crazy about you.
You know, we've never
sang a duet together.
I thought we could do
"Human Nature.
"
Would you sing with me?
After that you can
go back to Shane;
I won't stop you.
Sam, I can't.
Let's Let's talk later.
("Human Nature" begins)
Looking out ♪
Across the nighttime ♪
The city winks
a sleepless eye ♪
Hear his voice ♪
Shake my window ♪
Sweet seducing sighs ♪
Get me out ♪
Into the nighttime ♪
Four walls
won't hold me tonight ♪
If this town ♪
Is just an apple ♪
Then let me take a bite ♪
If they say why, why? ♪
Tell 'em that
it's human nature ♪
Why, why ♪
Does he do me that way? ♪
If they say ♪
Why, why? ♪
Just tell 'em
that it's human nature ♪
Why, why? ♪
Does he do me that way ♪
Reaching out ♪
To touch a stranger ♪
Electric eyes are everywhere ♪
Ooh ♪
See that girl ♪
She knows I'm watching ♪
She likes the way I stare ♪
- If they say ♪
- Why? ♪
- Why, why, why, why? ♪
- Why? ♪
Tell 'em that
it's human nature ♪
Why, oh, why ♪
Does he do me that way? ♪
- If they say ♪
- Why? ♪
- Why, do-be-doop, why? ♪
- Why? ♪
Tell 'em that
it's human nature ♪
Why, why ♪
Does he do me that way? ♪
I like livin' this way ♪
I like lovin' this way ♪
Oh, why, oh, why? ♪
Oh, why, oh, why? ♪
Why, why? ♪
Tell 'em that
it's human nature ♪
Why? ♪
- So
- Will?
Kurt?
Your dad wants to talk to you.
What's wrong?
Is Blaine okay?
He's fine.
The mail came.
NYADA.
Dude, come on.
This is like the fifth
room we've been to.
What's wrong with the
library or the lunchroom?
None of those felt right.
This is it, Dad.
This is one of those
crossroad moments in life.
I mean, whatever's in this
envelope is going to determine
whether I go right or left.
I'm here, no matter
what it says.
Okay?
"Dear Mr.
Hummel"
What? What?
I'm a finalist.
Oh, Dad, Dad, your heart.
Oh, screw my heart!
You did it!
You did it, Kurt!
Oh, man, oh!
Who's gonna tell Blaine?
You got to let me do it.
Dad, are you crying?
You beat them all.
They threw everything at you.
They tried to beat you down.
But you know what?
You're unstoppable, Kurt.
I am so proud to be your dad.
They can never
take this away from you.
Right now, in this moment,
on this day, you won.
Oh, way to go, dude.
Rachel! Rachel!
I got it; I got my NYADA letter.
- I got in the finals.
- You did?
- I'm a finalist.
- You did? That's so great.
Wh-What did yours say?
I didn't get one.
Oh, that doesn't mean anything.
That just means they
haven't sent it yet.
I didn't even make
it to the finals.
I knew it, I
I had this weird feeling
in my stomach all week long.
Rachel, don't be stupid.
"Stupid"?
Stupid is watching
all of your friends
make plans for their future
and realizing that
you have none at all.
No plans, no college,
nowhere to go.
All I have here is
my boyfriend, and
And I have no idea
what I'm doing.
Come here.
It's all right.
"Miss Jolie said that after
a dramatic directorial debut,
"she expects her second
feature to have far
more honey than blood.
"
Hey.
Hey, guys.
We brought you, um,
chicken noodle soup.
I know it's not used to
typically help eye injuries,
but we figured it
couldn't hurt.
- And I brought you
a couple of eye-patch-featuring
flicks from my collection.
I got, uh, Pirates of the
Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,
Valkyrie, and Sky Captain
and the World of Tomorrow.
Aw, thank you guys.
It's so amazing;
It really means
a lot to me that you'd come
by to check up on me.
However,
I cannot let a
single moment pass
without first
raising a zero-calorie toast
to one Mr.
Kurt Hummel, aka
NYADA finalist.
Yay.
Cheers.
So, Blaine, uh,
when's the surgery?
This week.
Honestly, I'm terrified.
Don't sweat it, dude.
You'll heal up good as new.
Yeah, and there are tons
of legendary performers
who've only had one eye:
Sammy Davis, Jr.
, Columbo.
And Stevie Wonder, he did
pretty good with no eyes at all.
You guys, I'm really upset
that I'm missing Michael Week.
It just totally sucks.
Well, that's why
we figured we'd bring
a little bit of Michael to you.
- Yup.
Okay.
Ben, the two of us ♪
Need look no more ♪
We both found
what we were looking for ♪
With a friend
to call my own ♪
I'll never be alone ♪
And you, my friend will see ♪
You've got a friend in me ♪
You've got a friend in me ♪
Ben, you're always
running here and there ♪
Here and there ♪
You feel you're not
wanted anywhere ♪
Anywhere ♪
If you ever ♪
Look behind and don't like ♪
What you find ♪
There's something
you should know ♪
You've got a place to go ♪
You've got a place to go ♪
Ben, most people
would turn you away ♪
Turn you away ♪
I don't listen to
a word they say ♪
A word they say ♪
They don't see you ♪
As I do ♪
I wish they would try to ♪
I'm sure they'd think again ♪
If they had a
friend like Ben ♪
A friend ♪
Like Ben ♪
Hey, Andrew McCarthy.
Don't know if you heard,
but Blaine may lose an eye.
The same Blaine who was just
besties with most of you
not four months ago.
Wait, are you serious?
Is he gonna be okay?
Well, sure, if he doesn't care
about seeing in
three dimensions.
Trent, I got this.
Bummer about Blaine,
he was pretty.
He shouldn't have gotten
in the way, though.
That slushee was meant for Kurt.
You may look like the
villain out of a cheesy '80s
high school movie,
but you should know that
I am fully prepared
to go all Danny La Russo
on your ***.
Admit you put something
in that slushee.
What was it, huh?
Glass? Asphalt?
Red dye number six.
You're a liar.
She questioned my honor.
I demand satisfaction
in Warbler tradition.
You want to have a duel?
Cello guys, can you hang
back for a second? I'm gonna
need you for this one.
Everyone else clear out.
I don't want you to see me
make a girl cry.
Let's just keep this on point.
("Smooth Criminal" begins)
As he came in through the
window, it was the sound ♪
Of a crescendo ♪
He came into her apartment ♪
He left bloodstains
on the carpet ♪
She ran underneath the table ♪
He could see she was unable ♪
So she ran into the bedroom ♪
She was struck down,
it was her doom ♪
Annie, are you okay? ♪
So, Annie, are you okay? ♪
Are you okay, Annie? ♪
Annie, are you okay? ♪
- So, Annie, are you okay? ♪
- Are you okay, Annie? ♪
Annie, are you okay? ♪
- So, Annie, are you okay? ♪
- Are you okay, Annie? ♪
- Annie, are you okay? ♪
- So, Annie, are you okay? ♪
Are you okay, Annie? ♪
Annie, are you okay?
Would you tell us ♪
That you're okay? ♪
There's a sign in the window,
that he struck you ♪
A crescendo, Annie ♪
He came into your apartment ♪
He left the bloodstains
on the carpet ♪
And then you ran into the
bedroom, you were struck down ♪
It was your doom ♪
- Annie, are you okay? ♪
- So, Annie, are you okay? ♪
Are you okay, Annie? ♪
Annie, are you okay? ♪
So, Annie, are you okay? ♪
Are you okay, Annie? ♪
Annie, are you okay? ♪
Are you okay, Annie? ♪
You've been hit by ♪
You've been struck by ♪
A smooth criminal ♪
I don't know ♪
Annie, are you okay? ♪
Would you tell us
that you're okay? ♪
- There's a sign in the window ♪
- I don't know ♪
That he struck you,
a crescendo, Annie ♪
- He came into your apartment ♪
- I don't know ♪
- Left the bloodstains on the carpet ♪
- I don't know why, baby ♪
Then you ran into the
bedroom, you were struck down,
it was your doom, Annie ♪
- Dad gone it, baby ♪
- Annie, are you okay? ♪
- Would you tell us that you're okay? ♪
- Dad gone it, baby ♪
- There's a sign in the window ♪
- Dad gone it, baby ♪
- That he struck you, a crescendo, Annie ♪
- Hoo, hoo ♪
He came into your apartment ♪
Left the blood stains
on the carpet ♪
- Then you ran into the bedroom,
you were struck down ♪
- Hoo, hoo ♪
It was your doom, Annie,
you've been hit by ♪
You've been struck by ♪
A smooth criminal.
♪
I was better.
You weren't even close.
I was better.
Now tell me the truth.
What did you put
in that slushee?
Rock salt but it's okay.
Why is it okay?
I just told you
that Blaine had to have surgery.
It's okay because I didn't
put anything in this one.
Before Mr.
Shue
gets here, come on.
Brittany, lock the door.
I don't know how to do that.
Um, what's going on?
We've got the Warblers
right where we want them.
And because he's the smoothest
criminal I know,
Artie was able
to find a spy store
that sells top-secret
surveillance equipment.
Not top-secret.
I just got a tape recorder
from OfficeMax.
Okay, okay, whatever.
In any case, I taped it
to my underboob
when we went
to Dalton, and I got
Sebastian on tape admitting
that there was rock-salt
in that slushee
that blinded Blaine.
Now, all we have to do is send
this tape to the po-po,
and that little bitchlet
is headed to juvie.
Admit it.
Tell me the truth.
What did you put
in that slushee?
Rock salt.
No.
No, we're not doing that.
Why? Kurt, this isn't violent.
This is clever.
I taped it to my underboob.
So he gets kicked out of school.
The Warblers still do Michael,
and they still beat us.
Look, I want to see Sebastian's
head turning on a spit,
but I've realized that you
can't go looking for payback
every time the
world wrongs you.
If Michael went after
all the haters,
he would have
never had any time
to do all that amazing music.
So, we're not gonna
punish the Warblers.
We're gonna teach them a lesson,
and I think I know how.
I've reserved the auditorium,
so if you all just follow me.
Oh, wait.
If Kurt would have taped this
to his junk, I would have
never heard the end of it.
We would have had
a whole week of songs
about it.
Rachel, can I borrow you
for a second?
Yeah.
So, are we gonna
practice or something?
Look, I know that
you're waiting for an answer,
and-and trust me,
you deserve it
No, no, I get it.
It's a big decision.
It's just, the way I asked
you, I kind of left out
the most important part.
About how much rent we would
save if we went twosies?
Just listen, okay?
I always feel like you hear me
better when I'm not talking.
("I Just Can't Stop Loving You"
begins)
Each time the wind blows ♪
I hear your voice
so I call your name ♪
Whispers at morning ♪
Our love is dawning ♪
Heaven's glad you came ♪
You know how I feel ♪
This thing can't go wrong ♪
I'm so proud to say
I love you ♪
Your love's got me high ♪
I long to get by ♪
This time is forever ♪
Love is the answer ♪
I hear your voice now ♪
You are my choice now ♪
The love you bring ♪
Heaven's in my heart ♪
At your call I hear harps ♪
And angels sing ♪
You know how I feel ♪
This thing can't go wrong ♪
I can't live my life
without you ♪
I just can't hold on ♪
I feel we belong ♪
My life ain't worth living ♪
If I can't be with you ♪
I just can't stop loving you ♪
I just can't stop
loving you ♪
And if I stop ♪
Then tell me just
what will I do? ♪
I just can't stop
loving you ♪
We can change all
the world tomorrow ♪
We can sing songs
of yesterday ♪
I can say, hey,
farewell to sorrow ♪
This is my life and I ♪
Want to see you for always ♪
I just can't stop loving you ♪
Oh, baby, no ♪
I just can't stop loving you ♪
Yeah, I can't stop ♪
And if I stop ♪
No ♪
Tell me just what ♪
Will I do? ♪
What will I do? ♪
I just can't stop ♪
- Loving you ♪
- Hee, hee, hee ♪
Oh, little girl ♪
I just can't stop
loving you ♪
Oh, I do ♪
And if I stop ♪
Then tell me just what
will I do? ♪
I just can't stop
loving you.
♪
Felt an awful lot like a
You're the love of my life.
And
I may not get
to have it all, but
at least I'll have what matters
if we're together.
- Is that a?
- Yes.
Yes?
Yes, I will marry you.
Got to get the ring here.
Nice of you to show.
Is whatever this is
gonna take long?
I can't stand the stench
of public schools.
It won't take long, and all you
have to do is sit and listen.
We're not doing Michael
for Regionals.
I didn't think
you'd surrender that easily.
We're tired of the fighting
and the backstabbing.
We're show choirs.
We're supposed to be
supportive of each other.
This is what we call
taking the high road,
which I was shocked
to find out has nothing to do
with marijuana.
- Just because you're doing
Michael doesn't mean
you understand Michael.
- And you do?
- Yes.
And we're about to show you.
("Black or White" begins)
Oh! ♪
I took my baby
on a Saturday date ♪
But is that girl with you? ♪
Yes, we're one in the same ♪
Now I believe in miracles ♪
And a miracle has
happened tonight ♪
Hey! ♪
Uh, but if you're thinking
about my baby ♪
It don't matter
if you're black or white ♪
Hee ♪
Hee, hee ♪
I am tired of this devil ♪
I am tired of this stuff ♪
I am tired of this business ♪
So when the going gets rough ♪
I ain't scared
of your brother ♪
I ain't scared of no sheets ♪
I ain't scared of nobody ♪
Girl, when the goin'
gets mean ♪
Protection for gangs, clubs
and nations causing grief ♪
In human relations,
it's a turf war ♪
On a global scale ♪
I'd rather hear
both sides of the tale ♪
See, it's not about races,
just places, faces ♪
Where your blood comes from
is where your space is ♪
I've seen the bright
get duller ♪
I'm not gonna spend my life
being a color ♪
Don't tell me
you agree with me ♪
When I saw you
kicking dirt in my eye ♪
But if you're thinking
about my baby ♪
It don't matter
if you're black or white ♪
I said, if you're thinking
of being my brother ♪
It don't matter
if you're black or white ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
Whoo! Black or white ♪
It's black, it's white ♪
It's tough for you to get by ♪
- Black or white ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- It's black, it's white ♪
- Whoo! ♪
It's tough for you to get by ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
- It's black, it's white ♪
- Whoo! ♪
- It's tough for you to get by ♪
- Black or white ♪
- It's black, it's white ♪
It's tough
for you to get by ♪
Black or white ♪
It's black,
it's white, whoo! ♪
Very moving.
Come on, Sebastian.
Give it up.
That is the kind of attitude
that lost us Regionals
last year.
I could call the cops
or your headmaster
and get you kicked out
of school or even arrested
for assaulting Blaine
with that slushee.
All of this would be
just awfully terrifying
if you had any proof whatsoever.
You mean like you on tape
admitting to it?
But you know what?
It just wouldn't be
as much fun winning Regionals
if you weren't there to suffer
through all the agony of defeat.
At least now, all your
teammates get to know
exactly what kind of guy
you are.
Now get the hell
out of my auditorium.
School's out!
Is Is-Is that the?
My NYADA letter finally
came in the mail, and, uh
and I'm a finalist.
I'm a finalist!
I'm a finalist!
- I'm so happy.
- Oh, congrats.
Thank you.
Oh, have you told Finn yet?