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If you have a strong sense of self-worth and competence, your self-image can take hits
but remain largely intact; if you're beset by self-doubt (a hallmark of self-righteous
AFC thinking), however, any acknowledgment of failure can be devastating and any admission
of error painful to the point of being unthinkable Self-justification and denial arise from the
dissonance between believing you're competent, and making a mistake, which clashes with that
image Solution: deny the mistake Attribute it to an outside element (women won't play
by "the rules") rather than resort to introspection (maybe I'm wrong about "the rules"?) Therefore
we see AFCs tenaciously cling to a moralistic sense of purpose in their methods which is
only reinforced by popular culture in our media, our music, eHarmony, our religion,
etc Articles of Power The term Power has a lot of misapplied connotations to it When
we think of Powerful people, we think of influence, wealth, prestige, status and the ability to
have others do our bidding -- all of these are not Power As much as we'd like to convince
ourselves that women are attracted to this definition of Power, this is false Because
what I've described as aspects of Power here are really manifestations of Power Here's
a cosmic secret revealed for you: Real Power is the degree to which a person has control
over their own circumstances Real Power is the degree to which we actually control the
directions of our lives When we allow our thinking, our personality disorders and our
mental schemas, combined with their accompanying behaviors, to determine the course of our
decisions, we relinquish real Power The man who succumbs, by force or by will, to the
responsibilities, liabilities and accountabilities that are required of him by society, marriage,
commitment, family, fatherhood, career choice, the military, etc leaves him very little influence
over the course of his own life The painter Paul Gauguin is one of history's most powerful
men At middle age Paul was a "successful" banker, with a wife and children and by all
appearances, a man of great merit and considerable wealth Then one day Paul decided he'd had
enough and wanted to paint He left his wife, children and his money, and decided he would
become a painter He cast off his former life to live the life he chose, he had the power
to assume control of it Eventually he died in Tahiti, but not after having one of the
most interesting of lives and becoming a world renowned painter You may think, what a horrible
man he was to abandon his re Tomassi, Rollo (2013-09-30) The Rational Male (Kindle Locations
368-420) Kindle Edition Responsibilities to selfishly pursue his own desires, but the
fact remains that he had the Power within himself to do so that most men would shudder
to even consider So entrapped are we in our self-expectation and self-imposed limitations
that we fail to see that we have always had the keys to our own prisons -- we're just
scared shitless to use them This Power is the root of that all important term 'confidence'
we toss out every time we tell a 19 year old chump what women really want so he can get
laid It's this ability to make our own decisions, right or wrong, and to confidently own them
that separate us from "other guys." It's this self-guided Power that evokes a seemingly
irrational confidence to Spin Plates, to date non-exclusively, to assert ourselves and to
be unafraid to make ourselves the prize, and it's just this Power that women want to be
associated with Lack of this Power is exactly what makes master Pick Up Artists (PUAs) revert
to some of the most pathetic AFCs once they become involved in an LTR They sell women
on this idealization and the perception that they possess this Power only to discover the
AFC insecurities these behaviors were meant to cover up once they've bought the act This
isn't to devalue PUA skills as effective behavior sets, rather it's meant to illustrate the
behaviors that should be manifest as a result of effecting a real personal change It should
be that adopting a positive-masculine mental schema prompts these PUA skills as a result
Instead we have the cart before the horse in a mad rush to get that all important ***
we've been deprived of for so long, by masking our deficit in real Power and understanding
with rote memorized PUA techniques hoping that by practicing them they'll turn into
"natural game" and we'll mature enough to initiate a lasting personal change We'll return
to this later The Soul-Mate Myth There is no ONE Chapter I The Cardinal Rule of Relationships
You cannot negotiate genuine Desire This is a very simple principle that most Men and
the vast majority of women are willfully ignorant of One the most common personal problems I've
been asked advice for in the past 10 years is some variation of "how do I get her back?"
Usually this breaks down into men seeking some methodology to return his relationship
to an earlier state where a previously passionate woman couldn't keep her hands off of him Six
months into a comfortable familiarity and the thrill is gone, but in truth it's the
genuine desire that is gone It's often at this stage that a man will resort to negotiation
Sometimes this can be as subtle as him progressively and systematically doing things for her in
the hopes that she'll reciprocate with the same *** / intimate fervor they used to
have Other times a married or long term couple may go to couples counseling to "resolve their
sex issues" and negotiate terms for her *** compliance He'll promise to do the dishes
and a load of laundry more often in exchange for her feigned *** interest in him Yet,
no matter what terms are offered, no matter how great an external effort he makes so deserving
of reward, the genuine desire is not there for her In fact, she feels worse for not having
the desire after such efforts were made for her compliance Her desire has become an obligation
Negotiated desire only ever leads to obligated compliance This is why her post-negotiation
*** response is often so lackluster and the source of even further frustration on
his part She may be more sexually available to him, but the half-hearted experience is
never the same as when they first met when there was no negotiation, just spontaneous
desire for each other From a male perspective, and particularly that of an uninitiated beta
male, negotiation of desire seems a deductive, rational solution to the problem Men tend
to innately rely on deductive reasoning; otherwise known as an "if then" logic stream The code
is often something like this: I need sex + women have the sex I want + query women about
their conditions for sex + meet prerequisites for sex = the sex I want Makes sense right?
It's simple deductive pragmatism, but built on a foundation that relies on a woman's accurate
self-evaluations The genuine desire they used to experience at the outset of their relationship
was predicated upon a completely unknown set of variables Overtly communicating a desire
for reciprocal desire creates obligation, and sometimes even ultimatums Genuine desire
is something a person must come to -- or be led to -- of their own volition You can force
scared shitless to use them This Power is the root of that all important term 'confidence'
their conditions for sex + meet prerequisites for sex = the sex I want Makes sense right?
she has to do.