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GO TO ANDY LEVY FOR THE PREGAE
REPORT.
WHAT IS COMING UP ON THE SHOW?
>> OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, WHY
DOES THE DEPARTMENT OF
EDUCATION THINK IT AS GOOD IDA
CLOTHE ONE OF THE TOP THREE
MASS KILLERS OF THE 20th
CENTURY ON THE KID SEC NUN OF
THEIR WEBSITE.
SOME SAY IT IS BECAUSE THEY AE
STUPID AND OTHER S SAY IT IS
BECAUSE THEY ARE DUMBEN.
A SHOCKING STORY OF SOMETHING
NUN NECESSARY FOR ANY ONE WHO
LIVES IN NEW YORK CITY.
>> DOES ONE CONGRESSMAN THINK
FEDERAL WORKERS WHO HAVEN'T
PAID THEIR TAXES SHOULD BE
LINED UP AND SHOT?
STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.
>> YOU ARE MORE LIKE THE FUN
FREE ZONE.
>> I DON'T GET IT.
>> IT IS A PLAY ON GUN FREE.
>> NOT THE FOLLOWING?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M NOT FOLLOWING YOU.
GO AWAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> LET'S WELCOME MY GOODNESS
IT'S WONDERFUL.
WOW.
HERE WITH FOX NEWS ANCHOR PATI
ANN BROWNE.
THE DONNA REID OF 2013 AND IF
COMMENTARY WERE MATH HOMEWORK I
WOULD DO HIM IN THE MORNING.
BERNIE.
MY REPULSIVE SIDEKICK.
>> Bill: BILL
SCHULZ.
HE BRUSHES WITH A HEAD HODGE
AND GARRINGLES WITH MR. PIBB.
ARMY SPECIAL FORCES MEMBER
KERRY.
SHOULD CHILDREN LEARN A HOOK
FROM THE LITTLE REDBOOK?
ON FRIDAY A DAY OF THE WEEK
BARRY THE DEPARTMENT OF
EDUCATION WEBSITE QUOTED THE
MURDEROUS FORMER HEAD OF THE
CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY.
YEP, THE KID ZONE PAGE OF THE
NATIONAL CENTER ON EDUCATION
STATISTICS POSTED THESE WORDS
TO LIVE BY IN THEIR QUOTE OF
THE DAY COLUMN.
"OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS OURSELVS
SHOULD BE SATIABLE IN LEARNING
AND TOWARDS OTHERS TO BE
TIRELESS IN TEACHING.
IE. KILL GUN.
THE GOVERNMENT REBOUND SIGHT
QUICKLY REMOVED IT REPLACING IT
ABOUT THIS, SORRY THERE IS NO
QUOTE OF THE DAY BUT IF YOU
LOOK AT IT SAYS SORRY THERE IS
NO QUOTE THE OF THE DAY.
>> I BOND FER THEY WROTE THAT
QUICKLY.
THAT IS HOW I LIVE MY LIFE.
THERE IS NO QUOTE OF THE DAY.
A DEPARTMENT IT OF ED SPOKESMAN
ACKNOWLEDGED THE ERROR SAYING
THIS FEATURE WHICH
AUTOMATICALLY GENERATES ONE
EDUCATION RELATED QUOTE PER DY
FROM A DATABASE OF QUOTES LAST
UPDATED IN 2007 HAS BEEN
TEMPORARILY SUSPENDED.
I GUESS BECAUSE SINCE 2007 THY
DIDN'T KNOW THAT THAT WAS A
MURDERER DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
>> SUSPENDED PENDING A REVIEW
OF THE DATABASE CONTENT.
I BELIEVE WE HAVE TAPE OF WHAT
HAPPENED NEXT TO THE ERROR
PRONE DATABASE.
THAT IS WHAT HE DID TO HIS
PEOPLE, AMERICA.
BERNIE, this could only happen
in the Obama administration.
>> IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
SPEAKING OF MONEY, YOU YOU
KNOW, IT IS NOT THAT
INCONGRUOUS BECAUSE THEY ARE
PAYING FOR THE DEPARTMENT OF
EDUCATION AMONG OTHER THINGS.
>> WE OWE THEM EVERYTHING.
>> ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
QUOTE AWAY.
I MEAN HE KILLED HIS OWN
PEOPLE.
HE DIDN'T KILL US, RIGHT?
>> Greg: BUT HE DID KILL
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE.
WHY CAN'T MOU BE A ROLE MODEL
FOR KIDS?
WE HAVE ELMO.
>> AND I DO LIKE MR.PIBB BY TE
WAY.
I ACTUALLY DISAGREE WITH THE
COAT.
I THINK HE WAS WRONG.
HE SAYS -- NO, WE SHOULD BE IN
SATIABLE IN OUR LEARNING.
HE IS SAYING ACCEPT MEDIOCRITY.
NO, WE SHOULD BE LEARNING
INSATIABLY.
THAT BEING SAID WE OWE THE
CHINESE SO WE HAVE TO SAY
WHATEVER THEY WANT.
>> THAT WAS LIKE A CHARLIE ROSE
THING YOU SAID RIGHT THERE.
>> TAKE A BREAK.
WE WILL ARM WRESTLE LATER.
PATTI ANN BROWNE DOES REALLY
GOOD.
>> YOU OUTRAGED O ARE ARE QUITE
HANDSOME.
>> Greg: SHE IS AS PRETTY AS
BILL IS REPULSIVE.
>> THAT IS ALMOST LIKE A
COMPLIMENT.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO HELP HIM.
>> Greg: IS THIS A SIM IS MANY
ERROR BY A CLUELESS INTERN
WORKING SOME KIND OF PROGRAM R
IS IT WHAT I THINK IT IS, A
SINISTER PLOT TO TRANSFORM THE
UNITED STATES INTO A COMMUNIST
STATE?
>> TOUGH TO SAY.
HE DID CONVERT CHINA TO A
SINGLE PARTY SOCIALIST STATE
AND NOW A U.S. AGENCY UNDER TE
OBAMA ADMINISTRATION PUTS THIS
UP AND SOMEBODY WHO WE ARE
SUPPOSED TO ADMIRE AND LOOK UP
TO OUR STUDENTS.
>> SCARY.
>> IT AS CONSPIRACY.
>> Greg: A CONSPIRACY IS A
THEORY.
I BELIEVE IT IS FACT.
BILL, ORIGINALLY WHEN WE TALKD
ABOUT THIS IN THE MEETING YOU
THOUGHT MOUSY TONGUE WAS AN
ORAL DISORDER.
>> I SHOWED YOU MINE.
>> Greg: BY THE WAY, HE HAS A
MOUSY TONGUE.
>> AT LEAST YOU MUST ADMIT
BEING A COMMUNIST THAT THIS IS
KIND OF NOT APPROPRIATE FOR
CHILDREN?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
ASK HIS BEST FRIEND, RICHARD
NIXON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THERE WE.
>> Greg: THEY ARE NOT BEST
FRIENDS.
>> HE OPENED UP AMERICA TO THE
WORLD THAT WAS CHINA.
A WORLD WHERE THEY KILL KIDS.
AND THE KIDS OF THE KIDS.
>> Greg: HERE IS --
>> --
>> THERE IS YOUR DIPLOMACY.
>> Greg: SHULZ WRAPPED MY PANDA
INTO THIS.
THAT WAS MY PANDA THAT I HAD
FOR MANY YEARS AND HE DIED.
>> THAT WAS UNDER IS SUSPICIOUS
CIRCUMSTANCES.
>> I DIDN'T FEED HIM BECAUSE I
WANTED HIM STEALTH FOR THE
PHOTO SHOOT FOR GQ.
ACADEMICS LIKE YOU LOOK AT
ANITA DUNN SAID THE SAME THIN.
QUOTED HIM.
ACADEMICS APPRECIATE THE SOCIAL
PROCESS IS OF THE LEFT
INDEPENDENT OF THE SOCIAL
CONSEQUENCE IS.
THEY CAN QUOTE HIM OR THE UNA
BOMBER OR ANYBODY BECAUSE IT IS
NEVER ACTUALLY THE IDEOLOGY
THAT IS EVER AT FAULT, RIGHT?
>> THEY SYMPATHIZE WITH THE
SENTIMENT.
EXACTLY, WHATEVER THE KILLING,
THE WHATEVER HAPPENS BAD IT
DOESN'T MATTER.
IT DOESN'T MATTER TO THEM AT
ALL.
COMMUNISM THEY SYMPATHIZE WITH
AND LIKE IT.
IDEALLY WHAT SHOULD BE IN PLAE
AND THINGS HAPPEN.
>> THE REASON WHY THEY PAINTED
THEMSELVES IS EXACTLY WHY THEY
SAID.
IF THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT THE
INTELLECTUAL VERACITY OF IT WY
DON'T THEY QUOTE THE POPE WHICH
IS SOME WHAT CONSERVATIVE.
>> Greg: MARGARET THATCHIER.
RIP TAYLOR.
REVOLUTIONIZED THE USE OF
GLITTER WHEN THREW IT ON
PEOPLE.
SHOW THE REPLACEMENT.
SORRY THERE IS NO QUOTE OF THE
DAY.
AGAIN, THIS GOES OUT TO KIDS.
FORGET THE FACT THAT THIS IS
THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE WE KNOW
THE GOVERNMENT IS INCOMPETENT.
BUT THIS IS THE GOVERNMENT --
>> HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO A
MEMBER OF THE MILITARY!
SO SORRY, I SUPPORT YOU.
>> I NODDED VIGOROUSLY IN
AGREEMENT.
I WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT AND
THEY ARE INCOMPETENT.
>> IF THAT WAS THE MILITARY YU
WOULD BE DOING A THOUSAND
PUSHUPS ON BROKEN GLASS.
>> YOU WOULD BE DONE.
>> Greg: THIS IS A WEBSITE THAT
WAS FOR CHILDREN.
CAN WE THROW THAT UP AGAIN.
SORRY THERE IS NO QUOTE OF THE
TODAY.
SERIOUSLY.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ENDED UP
REPLACING IT WITH?
A QUOTE FROM A STUDENT NAMED
ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
HISTORY'S GREATEST MODERN
MONSTER.
>> I THINK WE WILL PUT THIS
INTO A BIGGER THEME PAB.
TRY TO FOLLOW ME ON THIS
BECAUSE ONE OF MY GUESTS ARE
SLOW.
WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE AMAZING
RACE, OKAY.
THEY DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER.
THEY WENT TO VIETNAM AND THEY
HAD AN EVENT THAT INVOLVED A
AMERICAN B 52 BOMBER THAT WAS
DOWN.
THEY HAD THEM SINGING COMMUNIST
ANTHEMS WITH THE KIDS AND IT
WAS CUTE AND HUMOR YOS.
THE FACT THIS THEY DON'T
CONNECT THAT WITH THE HISTORY.
>> RIGHT.
ON CBS I DON'T KNOW IF THEY
COMMENTED YET.
>> Greg: THEY HAVEN'T.
>> THERE WAS JUST OUTRAGE OVER
HOW CAN YOU MAKE THIS INTO A
JOKE OR A LIGHT SEGMENT.
AND, YEAH, I AGREE.
>> THEY HE ACTUALLY --
>> IT IS ALMOST LIKE THEY KNOW
NOT WHAT THEY DO.
>> THEY KNOW.
>> THEY WILL BE THE FIRST
PEOPLE TO TELL YOU AT THE ARE
THE SMARTEST GUYS IN THE ROOM.
>> Greg: I HAVE BEEN ON TOP OF
THE STORY LIKE A PINUP DOLL ON
A BEARSKIN RUG.
IF ANY OF US DID SOMETHING THS
STUPID WE WOULD BE DONE.
I HAVE BEEN DONE BY THE WAY IF
IT WAS SAY SOMETHING IN
GERMANY, NAZI GERMANY YES
PEOPLE WOULD BE OUTRAGED BUT IT
IS COMMUNISM SO PEOPLE ARE OH.
>> Greg: THE WHOLE THING WITH
COMMUNISM AND SOCIALISM IS THT
IT IS ALWAYS AN IMPERFECT SIG.
IF WE CAN GET IT DONE RIGHT.
THE RIGHT PERSON HASN'T DONE T
YET.
>> WELL, INTENTIONED AND THE
END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS.
AND GOT TO RAISE SOME EGGS TO
MAKE AN OMEROLET.
>> DO YOU REALLY THINK THEYLY
IS RATTILY DID THIS?
>> Greg: NO, BUT I HAVE TO HAVE
A STORY, BILL!
>> YOU CAN'T BUY IT ON
COMMUNISM TIME.
>> Greg: LIKE CAPITALISM WE
UNDERSTAND THE FLAWS AND KNOW
THE IMPERFECTIONS AND FAILURES
OF CAPITALISM WE SEE EVERY DAY
BUT REALIZE THAT THERE IS
NOTHING THAT CAN REPLACE IT.
THE PROBLEM ALWAYS WITH
SOCIALISM AND COMMUNISM IS THAT
YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE IS NO
IMPERFECTIONS IN THE IDEA ONLY
IN THE HUMAN BEINGS.
>> IN THE EXECUTION OF IT.
>> Greg: BUT WE KNOW THAT
CAPITALISM PEOPLE ARE
UNFORTUNATELY LEFT OUT OF IT T
SOMETIMES.
>> DARWINISM KICKS IN AT SOME
POINT.
>> RIGHT.
>> CHURCHILL, DEMOCRACY IS THE
WORST POSSIBLE IS SYSTEM OF
GOVERNMENT THE EXCEPT FOR ALL
OF THE OTHERS.
>> IS THAT CHURCHILL'S CHICK
THAN SAID THAT?
>> THAT IS THE PLACE I GO FOR
THE NEWS.
>> I JUST FEEL LIKE IT IS NOT
TO QUOTE MR. GEORGE LUCAS A BT
OF A PHANTOM MENACE.
I DON'T KNOW ANY COMMUNISTS, O
YOU?
I WILL GIVE YOU A PERFECT
EXAMPLE OUR GOVERNOR ANDREW
CUOMO.
A BUDGET MESS FOR THE THIRD
TIME IN A ROW IN 30 YEARS.
>> CALLING HIM A COMMUNIST?
>> BUT I HEAR COMMUNISM AND
SOCIALISM ACCORDING TO OUR
FRIENDS THAT PLAY THE NUMBERS
POINTING AT THE DEPARTMENT OF.
>> Greg: DEPARTMENT OF WHATEVER
THIS THING IS.
I KNOW WHAT YOURE SAYING.
WHAT I'M SAYING IS KILLED
PERHAPS 100,000 PEOPLE OVER TE
CENTURY AND WE FORGET.
WHAT WE ARE SAYING IS WE HAVE
FOREGOTTEN THAT.
>> IT IS JUST NOT A THREAT FOR
US ANY MORE.
>> BUT PAGANISM DIDN'T CAUSE
E UKRAINIAN STARVATION.
>> TOOK A LOT OF PEOPLE TO
APPEASE THE WHEAT GODS.
>> Greg: THAT IS A LIE!
>> THE WINTER GUY.
>> Greg: BY THE WAY, BY THE
WAY, YOU WILL GET SOME LETTER
ANGANS.
>> I TAKE ALL OF THAT BACK
ESPECIALLY SUNS I HEARD THAT
THE PAGAN GIRLS ARE EASY.
>> Greg: NOW, YOU ARE GETTING
THE PAGAN HUSBANDS ANGRY.
>> I HOPE THEY DON'T WORK OUT.
>> THEY HE DO, THOUGH.
>> Greg: THE GYM IS A TEMPLE.
COULD BE THAT THAT IS THEIR
GOD.
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.
DON'T MAKE A VOODOO DOLL OUT F
ME LIKE YOU DID LAST YEAR
BECAUSE T SCIATICA IS GETTING
WORSE.
>> A NEW CELL PHONE APP INFORMS
GUN OWNERS WHERE THEIR WEAPONS
AREN'T WELCOME.
USES GPS TO SHOW NEARBY
BUSINESSES AND WHETHER THEY ARE
FIREARM FRIENDLY OR NOT.
FOR ARE SECOND AMENDMENT
ENTHUSIASTS IT LETS THEM KNOW
WHICH ONES TO BOYCOTT SAYS THE
AMPP DESIGNER.
IF MY GUN IS NOT WOK IN YOUR
STORE MY MONEY ISN'T EITHER.
HE ADMITS ANTI-GUN NUTS COULD
USE THIS TO H HIT PLACES THAT
DON'T ALLOW GUNS AND COULD BE A
GOOD WAY FOR CRIMINALS TO PICK
TARGETS.
PERHAPS.
BUT HE BELIEVES GUN FREE ZONES
ARE BAD.
I THINK THEY ARE HIGH FRAME
AREAS SO ME AND MY FAMILY WILL
STAY SAFE.
I'M NOT SURE THAT I NEEDD THAT
QUOTE.
I KIND OF SAID THAT THREE TIMES
PRODUCER.
YOU'RE FIRED.
MEANWHILE, FREE ZONES REMAIN
HIGH CRIME AREAS AS WELL.
>> TRUE.
IT IS LIKE THE LAST BASTION OF
INTOLERANCE IS AMONG THE
FELINES.
WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CONQUER IT
ALL OVER THE WORLD BUT CATS
JUST DON'T LISTEN AND THAT IS
WHY ANDY I THINK IS A TERRIBLE
PERSON.
SOME GUN OWNERS DIDN'T LIKE IT
WHEN A NEWSPAPER PUBLISHED A
LIST OF PERMIT HOLDERS.
WE DID THAT STORY ABOUT 65
TIMES.
>> YEAH.
>> Greg: ISN'T THIS THE SAME
THING IN REVERSE KIND OF?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
THEY ARE POINTING OUT THAT
REALLY IT CAN BE USED BY BOTH
SIDES AND IT IS A REALLY
INTERESTING EXPERIMENT.
IF IT TAKES OFF YOU WILL HAVE
ESSENTIALLY SEGREGATED GUN FREE
ZONES AND GUNS ALLOWED ZONES
AND THEN IN YEARS OR SO SOMEOE
CAN COMPILE STATISTICS AND SEE
WHICH ZONE HAD MORE GUN RELATD
DEATHS.
WHERE ONLY OUTLAWS HAD GUNS OR
WHERE THEY KNEW THE ARMED BAD
RESIST.E GOING TO MEET
AMAZEeg: IMA HE HAVING AN
EPIPHANY.
WHAT IF THE WHOLE UNITED STATES
WAS REORGANIZED BY ZONE?
HOW PEOPLE LIVED.
A GUN FREE ZONE WAS A CERTAIN
AREA OF THE COUNTRY AND NOT GN
FREE WAS SOMETHING ELSE AND
THEN THERE WAS LIKE TALL PEOPLE
ZONES BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE
GOING TO BARS WHERE THERE ARE
TALL PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME
BECAUSE I CAN'T GET A DRINK.
>> AND WE WOULD ALL BE HAPPY.
>> Greg: YES!
AND WE COULD ALL QUOTE.
>> I'M NOT A FAN OF BOYCOTTS.
.
>> Greg: THEY ARE VERY SMALL.
I LIKE BEDS.
>> YOU LOVE BOY COTS.
>> IT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT IS
DESIGNED TO INCREASE PUBLIC
SAFETY.
IT IS TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO
HEAD OFF TO THE NEAREST
WATERING HOLE THAT MIGHT BE GUN
FRIENDLY.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO GO TO
A GUN FRIENDLY WATERING HOLE.
>> THAT IS THE GUY AGAINST IT.
THAT IS HIS IMPRESSION OF WHAT
THE GUN SUPPORTERS WILL DO.
>> Greg: THEY ARE SAY CRIMINALS
CAN LOOK FOR BUSINESSES WHERE
PEOPLE WON'T BE ARMED.
ISN'T THAT THE WHOLE POINTE OF
STATING WHERE PEOPLE HAD GUNS.
IF YOU ARE FOR A GUN FREE STOE
THEN LIVE WITH IT.
>> I THINK THIS IS COOL BECAUE
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS BUT
I HAVE ROA RUINED MY WHOLE LIE
MOVIE GOING ENTERTAINMENT
EXPERIENCE BECAUSE I'M TIRED F
PEOPLE SAYING I DON'T LIKE THAT
BUT STILL PAY MONEY TO GO SEEA
MOVIE AND READ A BOOK.
IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT IT
DON'T GO.
ERGOT I DON'T SEE MOVIES ANY
TIME.
THEY SUB AND I DON'T LIKE WHAT
THEY STAND FOR.
THIS INFORMATION IS GOOD AND
NOW YOU CAN MAKE A CHOICE.
SAY HEY THAT STORE ISN'T COOL
WITH THE THE GUN FREE STUFF SO
I'M NOT GOING TO PATRONIZE IT.
I THINK IT IS A GOOD
EXPERIMENT.
THE GOOD LOOKING GAL WHO IS
REALLY REASONABLE HAS A POINT
AND GET SOME DATA IN A FEW ARE,
WHATEVER, MAYBE TWO DAYS.
AND FIND OUT IF, INDEED, IT
MAKES A DIFFERENCE.
>> A COUPLE OF THINGS.
I HAVEN'T SAID A THING YET.
>> Greg: BILL, THEY ARE
DEVELOPING BILL FREE ZONES ALL
OVER THE COUNTRY.
>> BUT I WILL GO TO ONE BECAUSE
I LIKE BILL SHULZ.
>> Greg: HE IS OMERO ALLOWED N
ONE BATHROOM IN THE SUBWAY IN
THE VILLAGE.
>> THE BILL FREE ZONE WILL NOT
BE TOO WELL RECEIVED OVER AT
O'REILLY HEADQUARTERS, BOYS.
CALL ME FELLOW BILL.
ALWAYS AVAILABLE.
>> I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SPECIFIC.
A BILL SHULZ FREE ZONE?
>> NO, YOU SAID ALL BILLS.
>> YOU WIN.
>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GREAT.
>> Greg: THE WHOLE POINT IS GN
FREE ZONES SHOULD MAKE YOU FEL
UNSAFE AND IT IS SAYING LIKE
OKAY IF PROUD TO BE IN
A GUN FREE ZONE.
I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A GUN
FREE ZONE.
THERE IS A LINK BETWEEN THOSE
AND WHAT HAPPENS THERE.
THAT IS MY THEORY AND HOW TO E
MUST TAKE A BREAK.
COMING UP WHAT IS THE LATE NEST
CELEBRITY GOSSIP?
TERRY DISCUSSES HIS NEW BOOK I
ONCE KILLED A MAN WITH A
BRADLEY COOPER BOBBLEHEAD DOL.
A STORY PRESIDENT OBAMA DOESN'T
WANT YOU TO HEAR!
>> Greg: SHOULD THEY REVAPP TE
CAMP?
GUANTANAMO BAY COULD BE GETTIG
AN EXTREME MAKEOVER.
THE PENTAGON CONSIDERING PLANS
TO SPEND A BUTT LOAD THOSE WEE
THEIR WORDS ON RENOVATIONS ARE
NECESSARY IS SINCE CONGRESS
DECIDED TO KEEP THE FACILITY IS
OPEN INDEFINITELY.
$49 MILLION TO BUILD A NEW
PRISON FOR SPECIAL DETAINEES
WITH FOOD ALLERGIES, I BELIEV.
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO BACK
THAT UP.
OTHER ITEMS PREPARING BARRACK
FACILITIES.
A MESS HALL.
WHY DO THEY CALL IT A MESS
HALL?
KEEP IT BOUNCE.
AND AN INFLATABLE BOUNCY
CASTLE.
ACCORDING TO THE U.S. COMMANDER
OF SOUTHERN COMMAND DETAINEES
ARE GROWING MORE FRUSTRATED
LEADING TO HUNGER STRIKES.
>> THEY HAD GREAT OPTIMISM THAT
GUANTANAMO WOULD BE CLOSED.
THEY WERE DEVASTATED WHEN THE
PRESIDENT BACKED OFF AT LEAST
THEIR PERCEPTION OF CLOSING THE
FACILITY.
HE SAID NOTHING ABOUT IT IN HIS
INAUGURATION SPEECH AND
SOMETHING ABOUT IT IN HIS STAE
OF THE UNION SPEECH.
>> Greg: I BELIEVE WE HAVE TAPE
OF ONE OF THE PRISONERS.
>> SO SORRY.
>> Greg: OH, MY GOODNESS.
>> I DOUBT -- THAT WAS
DEFINITELY NOT ONE OF THE
PRISONERS.
BERNIE, A QUARTER MILLION
DOLLARS RENOVATIONS.
TOWARDS FINALLY CLOSE GITMO.
THIS IS PART OF A FLIPUP.
>> I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.
A POSSIBILITY.
THE ANSWER WE HAVE TO THINK OUT
OF THE BOX IS DRONE STRIKES.
TERRORISTS NOT ON AMERICAN
SOIL.
JUST DRONE STRIKE THEM RIGHT
THERE AND IF YOU CAN'T DO IT
BECAUSE WE OWN GUANTANAMO LET
THEM QUOTE UNQUOTE ESAPE INTO
CUBA AND WE HIT THEM THERE WITH
THE DRONES.
RAND PAUL CAN FLIP HIS WIG OVER
AND ONLY WATCH.
>> Greg: WE ARE STUCK WITH
GITMO BUT THE ONLY WAY THAT
PRESIDENT OBAMA GOT AWAY FROM
GITMO IS THROUGH DRONES, RIGH?
IT WAS HIS SOLUTION?
>> I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU.
THIS STORY IS NOT REAL.
PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS CLOSED
GITMO HE.
>> Greg: REALLY?
>> THIS JUST IN HE PROMISED
WHEN RAN AND GOT REELECTED
GITMO IS NOT EVEN OPEN.
THIS IS A LYING STORY.
NOT EVEN TRUE.
HA, HA, HA.
NOT EVEN OPEN.
HE CLOSED IT LIKE THREE YEARS
AGO BECAUSE HE SAID HE WAS
GOING TO.
>> Greg: I HAD NO IDEA.
>> HE DOES WHAT HE SAYS.
>> Greg: THAT IS TRUE, P.A.B.
YOU SAID IN THE GREEN ROOM I
WAS SHOCKED YOU SAID GITMO
SHOULD BE REPLACED WITH A
BOTTOMLESS PIT OF HELLFIRE WIH
SPIKES AT THE BOTTOM.
YOU KNOW THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO
DO.
YOU CAN'T HAVE A BOTTOMLESS PT
AND SOMETHING AT THE BOTTOM OF
THAT.
>> THAT IS A GOOD POINT.
I HAVE TO REDRAFT MY PLAN.
>> Greg: THOUGHTS?
>> WHAT TROUBLED ME THE MOST
ABOUT THIS IS AT THE HEARING
THEY WERE STALKING ABOUT
$150 MILLION AND THEN HE
FLIPPED AND SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT AND THEN THERE IS THE
WHOLE RENOVATION AND PEOPLE
CAUGHT ON TO IT AND SAID WELL,
WHAT IS THAT?
AND THEN THEY HAD TO ADMIT
WELL, THAT IS ANOTHER
$50 MILLION THAT WE WEREN'T
ACTUALLY GOING PUBLIC WITH
BECAUSE WE THOUGHT IT WAS
PRIVATE.
REALLY?
YOU COULD JUST ADD $50 MILLION
AND THEY WEREN'T GOING TO TELL
THE PUBLIC ABOUT IT.
I GUESS THAT IS WHAT BOTHERS ME
THE MOST.
>> Greg: MEANWHILE, NO WHITE
HOUSE TOURS.
THOUGHT I WOULD THROW THAT IN
THERE, GUYS.
FELT COMPELLED TO DO THAT.
BILL YOU RECENTLY DID HOME
IMINVOLVEMENTS AND PAINTED THE
SECTION OF THE BRIDGE YOU SLEEP
UNDER.
HOW MUCH DID THAT COST?
>> I STOLE THE PAINT TO PRETTY
CHEAP.
I THOUGHT I WAS PAYING FOR IT
BUT I WAS TAKING A WHIFF IN TE
AISLE.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE THEY
THINK THEY WILL GO IT WILL BE
BETTER.
IF THEY LEAVE GUANTANAMO THE
NEXT PLACE AN ECONOMY RED ROOF
INN WHICH ISN'T GREAT BUT
BETTER THAN GITMO.
THE FACT THAT THEY ARE DOING
THE STARVING THEMSELVES THING
IS NOT GOOD BECAUSE IN 2005
THEY TRIED TO DO THAT AND
APPARENTLY THEY GAVE THEM
FEEDING TUBES WITHOUT
SEDUCTIVENESSATIVES AND JAMMED
IT DOWN THEIR THROATS AND STUCK
IT UP THEIR NOSE AND DAMAGED
THEM BADLY THERE.
I THINK THEY WOULD PROBABLY
RATHER EAT THAN STARVE
THEMSELVES AND BE FORCIBLE FED
LIKE THAT.
>> Greg: MAYBE THERE IS A WAY
TO TURN IT INTO A TERROR
MUSEUM.
>> GITMO IS CLOSED.
WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?
GITMO IS CLOSED.
PRESIDENT OBAMA SAID HE WAS
GOING TO DO IT.
IT'S DONE.
THAT MONEY IS GOING TOWARDS I
DON'T KNOW OBAMA PHONES OR
SOMETHING.
>> Greg: I MISS MY OBAMA PHONE.
COMMENT ON THE SHOW E-MAILS.
GO TO FOX NEWS CALM SLASH RED
EYE AND CLICK ON SUBMIT A VIDEO
AND WE MITT STILL USE IT TO
COME.
THE HALFTIME REPORT FROM TV'S
ANDY LEVY.
>> TONIGHT'S HALFTIME REPORT S
SPONSORED BY BABE.
>> TIGER THE YOUNGER VERSIONS
OF CATS WITH THE THE BLACK
>> Greg: LET'S FIND OUT IF WE
HAVE GOTTEN ANYTHING WRONG SO
FAR.
FOR THAT WE GO TO TV'S ANDY
LEVY.
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN, RIGHT?
>> NO.
>> Greg: I WAS KIND OF HOPING.
>> YOU DID NOT HIRE ME TO HAVE
FUN.
YOU YOU HIRED ME TO KILL FUN
AND I DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT.
>> Greg: YOU DO.
YOU TREAT FUN LIKE ROACHES.
>> I DO.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION WEBSIE
FEATURES QUOTE.
YOU AGREED WITH GREG BERNIE
THAT THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN IN
THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION.
>> OF COURSE.
>> IF THE WEBSITE AUTOMATICALLY
GENERATES QUOTES FROM A
DATABASE OF QUOTES LAST UPDATD
IN 2007 YOU REAL ILLINI WHAT
THIS MEANS, RIGHT?
>> Greg: THEY ARE BLAMING BUSH!
>> THIS IS BUSH'S FAULT.
>> Greg: THEY ARE BLAMING BUS!
>> HE IS RIGHT ACTUAL.
>> I WE CORRECTED.
>> YOU ARE RIGHT.
>> Greg: AMAZING.
>> AN INFILTRATOR NO DOUBT.
>> Greg: TIME TRAVELER.
IT WAS A TIME TRAVELER.
>> A FELLOW TRAVELER.
>> Greg: I GOT ABOUT YOU.
>> THAT IS NOT EVEN WHAT I
MEANT.
>> Greg: OKAY.
A LITTLE PLAY ON FELLOW
TRAVELER.
>> Greg: , OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
>> THANKS.
>> Greg: TOOK AWHILE.
FELLOW TRAVELER BEING A
SYMPATHIZER OF WHATEVER BUT YOU
NOT PARTICIPATING ACTIVELY IN
COMMUNISM BUT A SYMPATHIZER.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM.
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?
>> I DON'T EVEN GET THE QUOTE.
IT SHOULD BY INSAT IABLE AND
NOT SATIALBE.
>> THEY COPIED IT DOWN WRONG.
>> TERRY, EVERYBODY GETS ONE
THING WRONG.
>> AND HE GOT THE WHOLE THING
WRONG.
EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HE CAME UP
WITH WAS --
>> I SO TO SAY I'M A LITTLE
PEEVED AT YOU BECAUSE I WAS
SUPER EXCITED TO MAKE THE POIT
SO I'M NOT GOING TO YOU AGAIN
IN THIS SEGMENT.
>> I STOLE FROM YOU?
>> YOU DID.
>> IT WAS TIME TRAVELER.
>> YEAH.
>> GREG, YOU SAID WITH THE LET
IT IS NEVER THE IDEOLOGY THAT
IS AT FAULT AND THEY CAN USE
QUOTES FROM PEOPLE LIKE MOU.
I FOUND OTHER GOOD EDUCATION
QUOTES.
EDUCATION IS A WEAPON WHOSE
EFFECTS DEPENDS ON WHO HOLDS IT
IN HIS HAND AND AT WHOSE
DIRECTION IT IS AIMED.
STALIN.
EDUCATION MUST PROVIDE THE
OPPORTUNITIES FOR FILLMENT AND
PROVIDE A RICH AND CHALLENGING
WAY FOR AN INDIVIDUAL TO
EX-FLOUR HIS OWN WAY.
A NICE QUOTE.
HITLER ARE.
>> Greg: I KNEW IF.
JAMES HITLER YOUR NEXT DOOR
NEIGHBOR WHO IS A TEACHER.
SHOULD HAVE CHANGED HIS NAME.
>> I HAVE ONE.
ANDY LEVY IS AWESOME.
UNBELIEVABLE, DUDE.
THINK ABOUT THAT.
>> HE USED TO SAY THAT ALL THE
TIME.
>> WITH FANS LIKE THAT, I DONT
KNOW.
>> YOU SAID FOR THE LEFT THE
PROBLEM WITH SOCIALISM IS THAT
IT IS AN IMPERFECT SCIENCE SO
THEY EXCUSE THINGS WHEN THEY
DON'T GO RIGHT.
FOR THE LEFT IT IS THE PEOPLE
THAT ARE IMPERFECT.
>> Greg: THAT IS WHAT I SAID!
>> SOCIALISM ITSELF IS NOT AN
IMPERFECT SCIENCE.
>> Greg: I SAID CAPITALISM IS
AN IMPERFECT SCIENCE.
SOCIALISM IS ALWAYS THE FAULT
OF THE PRACTITIONER.
WE AGREED BUT I STATED IT
POORLY.
>> I AGREE WITH YOU, YES.
>> WATCHING THE NCAA.
>> GEORGETOWN IS GETTING
KILLED, MAN.
>> SATURDAY NIGHT.
>> NO, I'M NOT.
>> GOT HIM ON THAT.
>> GUN FREE ZONE APP.
PAB YOU YOU SAID THEY ARE
POINTING OUT THAT THE APP CAN
BE USED BY BOTH SIDES.
AN INTERESTING IDEA AND IN SOE
YEARS SOMEONE COULD COMPILE
STATS AND SEE WHICH ZONES HAD
GUN RELATED DEATHS.
WE DO THAT NOW.
LOOK AT CHICAGO AND WAG,
WASHINGTON.
>> THAT IS A GOOD POINT.
A GOOD POINT.
WE HAVE SEEN CHICAGO IS A
PERFECT EXAMPLE ACTUALLY.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
GREG, YOU ASKED WHAT IF THE
UNITED STATES WAS ORGANIZED BY
ZONES.
YOU MEAN LIKE STATES?
WE COULD HAVE LIKE 50 OF THEM
AND THEN THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN
THE 50 ZONES COULD PASS THEIR
OWN LAWS?
>> Greg: I WAS THINKING ABOUT
ZONES WITHIN STATES.
>> LIKE CITIES AND TOWNS?
>> Greg: YES, YES!
>> WE STAY WITH REALITY HERE,
GUYS?
>GENIUS IDEAS.
>> I WAS THINKING ALONG THE
LINES OF PLACES LIKE DAVE
BUSTERS.
>> FUN ZONES.
>> Greg: I WASN'T BEING
SPECIFIC.
>> GITMO TO BE RENOVATED.
TERRY YOU SAID THE STORY ISN'T
TRUE BECAUSE PRESIDENT OBAMA
CLOSED GITMO.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> TRIPLE CHECKED.
HE DID NOT.
>> I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW
LOOK IT UP.
>> I LOOKED IT UP.
HE HAS NOT CLOSED GITMO.
>> NOT TRUE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
THE INTERNET WRONG I GUESS.
>> I KNOW I AM RIGHT CASH I AM
RIGHT.
CLOSED.
>> OKAY.
GREG YOU SAID THE PENTAGON IS
CONSIDERING PLANS TO SPEND A
BUTTLOAD THEIR WORDS ON
RENOVATION.
NOT THEIR WORDS.
>> Greg: REALLY?
>> YOU WERE GIVEN FALSE
INFORMATION THERE.
>> Greg: I WAS WATCHING THE
WHOLE THING ON THAT FLIP THIS
HOUSE AND AFTER I WORE THEY
SAID THAT WHEN THEY WERE
WALKING THROUGH GITMO.
>> THEY DIDN'T.
ALSO YOU ASKED WHY DINING
FACILITIES ARE CALLED MESS
HALLS MESS FROM THE HOLD FRENCH
WORD MES WHICH MEANT A PORTION
OF FOOD OR COURSE AT DINNER
ARE.
>> Greg: I THOUGHT IT HAD TO O
WITH THE ATTACKED THAT IT MIGHT
BE MESS.
>> THANK YOU.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
I NEVER COULD FIGURE THAT OUT.
STILL A BUZZ KILLING TO KNOW.
JUST SO YOU KNOW.
STILL A BUZZ KILLINGTON
GIVING US ALL THIS INFORMATION
AND FACTS.
>> NONE OF WHAT I'M SAYING IS
TRUE.
IMPORTANT TO KNOW THAT.
>> JUST AGREE WITH US, GLANCE
OKAY.
>> COOL.
>> YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUT THE
DETAINEES BEING ON -- CAN WE
STOP CALLING THEM DETAINEES.
>> Greg: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO
CALL THEM?
>> PRISONERS.
I KNOW THEY ARE USING THE WORD
CORRECT BUT IF YOU SAY I WAS
UNVOIDABLEY DETAINED YOU WERE
15 MINUTES LATE.
NOT SOME WHERE FOR 18 YEARS.
>> PRISONERS IS A GOOD WORD.
>> Greg: A GOOD POINT.
>> YOU CAN'T REALLY CALL THEM
PRISONERS BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T
BEEN CHARGED WITH ANYTHING.
>> TECHNICALITY.
>> THAT IS THE PROBLEM, YEAH.
>> Greg: HOW ABOUT PRISONS.
>> YOU SOUND LIKE A TERRORIST
SYMPATHIZER.
>> NONE HAVE BEEN PROVE TON BE
TERRORISTS, BERNIE.
>> YOU JUST SHOWED YOURSELF
RIGHT NOW.
>> BY DEFINITION THEY ARE NOT.
MANY HAVE BEEN RELEASED BECAUSE
THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
>> WE STAND PAT WITH THIS.
>> DO WE?
>> WE WILL FIGHT AFTER THE SHOW
HE.
>> YOU WILL GET A STERN TALKING
TO FROM PEOPLE.
>> A PARTY?
>> ONE OF THE THINGS WHERE
CONSERVATIVES TALK ABOUT THE
CONSTITUTION A LOT UNTIL THEY
DON'T LIKE IT?
>> OH.
>> HE IS AN AMERICAN.
>> AND YOU HATE AMERICA AS
WELL?
>> YES, DO I.
I LOVE THE CONSTITUTION BUT
HATE AMERICA.
>> Greg: YOU HATE AMERICA
FERRARA FROM UGLY BETTY.
>> PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING THT
FOR THREE YEARS NOW.
I AM INDIFFE HER AT
BEST.
>> Greg: WELL, YOU SPENT A
WHOLE YEAR HATING AMERICA.
>> I RESENT THAT.
>> THAT IS WHY THEY CANCELED
UGLY PET BETTY.
HIS LETTER WRITING CAMPAIGN.
>> I'M DONE.
>> Greg: YOU ARE DONE AND THANK
YOU FOR HATING BOTH AMERICAS.
>> THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
>> Greg: IT IS RIDICULOUS.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
COMING UP THE PANELISTS FULL F
GUESTS WHICH OF PATTI ANN
BROWNE'S TATOOS WERE DONE
PROFESSIONALLY AND WHICH SHE
MADE HERSELF DURING HER MOST
RECENT PRISON TERM.
CAN YOU GET JAIL TIME FOR
TRYING
>> Greg: WELL, HE WILL NO
LONGER SHILL WITH HIS GRILL.
AN ALASKA MAN IS THERE ANY
OTHER KIND WHO AUCTIONED OFF
SPACE ON HIS FACE FOR THOUSANS
OF DOLLAR NOW SAYS HE EREGRETS
THE TATOOS.
BILLY GIBBY BRAMES BIPOLAR
DISORDER FOR HIS DECISION TO
GET MORE THAN 20 FACE TATS,
SHORT FOR TATOOS, ABOUT PAB.
NOW, HE IS COVERING THE SKIN ON
HIS BACK TO RAISE THE FOUR
GRAND HE NEEDS TO GET THE CRAP
ON HIS FACE REMOVED.
WHAT IS A GOOD IDEA DISCUSSING
THIS IN THE LIGHTNING ROUND.
LIGHTNING ROUND.
>> Greg: THERE ARE LOT OF
BIPOLAR PEOPLE WHOSE FACES
AREN'T COVERED WITH *** SITE
TATOOS.
>> DON'T USE THAT EXCUSE.
YOU HAVE TATOOS ALL OVER.
MAYBE I AM BIPOLAR.
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT I'M KIND OF BUMMED ABOUT
THE POOR GUY IS THAT THE PRICES
WENT DOWN.
AT ONE POINT HE WAS GETTING
LIKE A GRAND OR TEN GRAND FOR A
TATOO AND THEN WENT DOWN TO
LIKE A HUNDRED BUCKS.
COME ON, DUDE.
SHOULDN'T HAVE SOLD OUT.
>> Greg: I WONDER WHAT HE WAS
INVESTING IN.
IN PUTTING IT IN MICROSOFT OR
***?
>> IT WAS NOT DRUGS.
>> DEFINITELY NOT DRUGS.
LOOKS LIKE A WHOLE S & P
INDIVIDUAL.
PAB YOU HAD ALL OF YOUR BIKER
TATOOS REMOVED BEFORE YOU GOT
TO FNC.
IS IT PAINFUL?
>> REALLY PAINFUL.
THE GUYS THAT HAVE THE TATOOS
OR THE COMPANY THAT BELIEVES IT
IS GOOD ADVERTISING.
WHERE SHOULD WE GO TO DINNER.
I DON'T KNOW THE MENTALLY
DERANGED GUY HAS A THING ON HIS
FACE THAT SAYS JOE'S RESTAURANT
IS GOOD.
>> GEE ***, DON'T KNOW IF I
SHOULD *** OR NOT
TONIGHT.
OH, *** SITE ON HIS HEAD.
LE RUN HOME AND ***
FURIOUSLY AND PROBABLY IN
TEARS.
SHOULD THE WEBSITES DEMAND HE
KEEP THE TATOOS.
HE IS RENIGGING ON A CONTRACT.
>> HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE AN
HONORABLE FELLOW.
LET ME JUST SAY THAT THE SAD
PART IS IF YOU SAW THE GUY
WALKING DOWN THE STREET YOU
WOULDN'T THINK TWICE.
EVERY TOM *** AND MORON THESE
DAY HAS A FREAKEN TATOO.
SHOULD BE THE PROVINCE OF
LEGITIMATE TOUGH GUYS.
NOW, YOU HAVE EVERY DOPE.
>> IT IS TRUE.
>> EVEN GUYS IN HIGH SCHOOL
WALKING AROUND.
>> THE STARBUCKS BAISTA HAS A
TEAR DOWN HER EYE BECAUSE SHE
ONCE DROPPED A CAFE MOCHA.
OH, ANOTHER ONE BIT THE DUST.
TATOO HERE.
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
>> THE PRISON THEY GET THE
LITTLE THING WHEN THEY KILL
SOMEBODY SO STARBUCKS BARISTA
DROPPING COFFEE WOULD GET THE
SAME THING.
>> HOW WOULD THEY SOUND.
>> Greg: YOU TRIED TO TRICK ME!
BILL, YOU HAD YOUR ENTIRE FACE
TATOOD ON YOUR FACE.
IS THAT BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO
LAZY FOR HYGIENE PURPOSES?
>> YES.
PERSONAL BUT, YES.
AND I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT
MYSELF.
THIS GUY CHOSE TO PUT ALL OF
INCH AND HIS FACE AND NOW
BLAMING BISEXUAL POLAR BEARS.
BIPOLARS HAVE NEVER DONE
ANYTHING TO YOU.
THEY LIVE IN THE THE NORTH
POLE.
THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU
ARE DOING.
THEY ARE TOO BUSY DOING EACH
OTHER!
>> Greg: THAT IS SO NOT TRUE.
>> THAT IS TRUE.
THE GLASSIERS ARE THINNING OUT
AND THEY HAVE FAR LESS PLACES
TO HAVE IS BISEXUAL SEX.
>> Greg: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
>> THEY HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS
THEY DON'T NEED YOUR FACE.
>> A NEW YORK MAN FAKED HIS OWN
DROWNING TO COLLECT A LIFE
INSURANCE POLICY NOW PLEADED
GUILTY TO CONSPIRACY.
RAYMOND ROBB WILL SPEND 90 DAYS
IN JAIL AND HAVE TO PAY 40
GRAND NOT POLICE AND COAST
GUARDS FOR SEARCH EFFORTS.
THE SCAM FELL APART AFTER HE
GOT THE A SPEEDING TICKET IN
SOUTH CAROLINA.
THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T SPEED.
YOU KNOW A LOT OF STUFF.
>> YEAH, THAT IS TRUE YOU.
>> Greg: IF ONE WERE TO FAKE
ONE'S DEATH IS THERE A BETTER
WAY TO DO IT?
>> DROWNING IS NOT A BAD WAY
BECAUSE THE BODY IS NOT
RECOVERED BUT YOU HAVE TO COVR
ALL BASES.
A WHOLE DOCUMENTATION THING.
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS.
WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO DO THIS AT
LEAST FOR A LITTLE WHILE?
LIKE TOTALLY DISAPPEAR AND GO
LIKE --
>> Greg: I THINK LIKE IF YOU
WILL GO TO JAIL EVEN THE JUDGE
IS GOING BELIEVE ME WHEN I GOT
MY MORTGAGE I WAS THINKING THE
SAME THING.
YOU KNOW GUYS GOING.
NOT ME, THOUGH, BECAUSE I'M SO
HAPPY IN THE THINGS THAT I DO.
I'M SO BLESSED.
P.A.B., THIS GUY CLAIMS HE IS
BIPOLAR.
>> THE LAWYER AGREES THAT HE
JUST WANTED TO MAKE THE ESCAPE
THAT EVERYBODY ENVISIONS FOR
THEMSELVES.
IS, FIRST OF ALL, IF I WERE HS
WIFE I WOULD KEEP MY EYES OPEN.
SECONDLY THAT IS NOT THE POINT.
IF HE WANTS TO WALK AWAY FROM
HIS LIFE, HE CAN JUST LEAVE.
TELL THE WIFE BYE BYE.
HE WANTED THE MONEY BECAUSE HE
WANTED TO STEAL $400,000 FROM
THE INSURANCE COMPANY.
THAT IS THE CRIME.
>> Greg: ALL HE WANTED BERNIE
WAS A NEW BEGIN.
>> JUST DIVORCE HIS WIFE.
>> Greg: THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN
THESE DAYS.
>> THAT IS EXPENSE
INVESTIGATORS.
>> Greg: THAT IS EXPENSIVE.
>> ALL ABOUT THE MONEY.
>> HE WANTED BOTH.
THAT IS WHAT SOME SAID BECAUSE
HE SPAWNED THIS STUPID KID AND
GOT HIS KID INVOLVED IN IT AND
THE KID TRIPPED HIM UP ON THE
PHONE WITH HIM ON THE HIGHWAY
WHEN GOT PULLED OVER FOR
SPEEDING AND THAT IS WHAT
SCREWED HIM UP.
>> AND THERE WAS AN E-MAIL
TRAIL.
HE WAS STUPID ABOUT IT.
>> BIPOLAR LOG ON.
THERE ARE BI POLAR BEARS
THERE AS WELL?
>> WHAT IS GOING ON?
CLIMATE CHANGE?
>> ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU FAKE A
SUICIDE IN SOUTH CAROLINA.
>> STOP IT!
>> DO NOT --
>> STOP IT.
>> Greg: THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT
ACTUALLY DO HAVE SERIOUS
BIPOLAR ILLNESSES AND EVERYONE
IS USING THAT IN COURT AS AN
EXCUSE FOR THE CRIMES AND THIS
IS WRONG BECAUSE THERE ARE
PEOPLE THAT HAVE THE SERIOUS
ILLNESSES.
BILL, WE HAVE BEEN HOPING THAT
YOU FAKE YOUR REAL DEATH BUT
YOU HAVEN'T SO FAR.
>> I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT
WOULD ENTAIL.
FAKE MY REAL DEATH.
SO YOU WANT ME TO STAY
GAINFULLY ALIVE.
>> Greg: NO, IT WOULD BE GREAT
TO FAKE YOUR DEATH AND THEN
COME BACK AS A ZOMBIE.
>> I SMELL BAD ENOUGH AS IT IS.
I DON'T NEED THAT.
>> GET BACK ON O THE TOP ECK.
>> Greg: WHAT OF POLAR BEARS?
>> STAY AWAY.
>> THE BIG THING HE DID.
ALL THE RESOURCES TO FIND HIM.
>> Greg: A GOOD POINT.
GOOD POINT.
GOT TO DO WHAT OLIVIA NEWTON
JOHN.
HER EXHAUST JUST DIED AND NEXT
THING HE WAS IN MEXICO.
DON'T LOOK FOR ME.
I GOT OUT I'M GONE.
GOD KNOWS WHAT HE WAS DOING IN
MEXICO.
>> JUST SAY GOODBYE.
>> YOU ARE A COOL LADY.
TIME TO TAKE A BREAK.
>> SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> WHEN WE COME BACK.
>> Greg: YOU ARE COOL LADY.
BOOK STORES.
AMAZON .COM.
CHECK IT OUT FOR AN AUTOGRAPHD
COPY.
>> Greg: HERE IS A NEW SEGMENT.
TWEET OF THE NIGHT FOR OUR
YOUNGER DEMO GRAPHIC.
>> Greg: WE BLUE HALF OUR
BUDGET ON THAT.
STEVE STOCKMAN.
THIS IS WHAT HE TWEETED ON
THURSDAY.
THE BEST THING ABOUT EARTH IS
IF YOU POKE HOLES IN IT OIL AND
GAS COME OUT.
GOT TO ADMIT, THAT IS F-IN
POETRY.
HE IS RIGHT.
>> THAT IS THE BEST THING ABOT
EARTH.
STICK A HOLE IN IT AND OIL AND
GAS COME OUT.
>> Greg: IT IS.
>> THAT'S AWESOME.
>> Greg: YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH
THAT.
IF IT IS NOT OIL WHAT ELSE IS
THERE?
NOTHING AS GOOD AS THAT.
>> TALK ABOUTER PICKED UP ON
THIS AND MADE -- GAWKER PICKED
UP ON HIM AND MADE FUN OF HIM.
OBVIOUSLY IT WAS A LITTLE
TONGUE IN CHEEK.
GAWKER POSTED THE BEST THING
THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN
HACKER CONVICT BIDS FAREWELL TO
FREEDOM.
DO YOU THINK THEY THINK THAT IS
THE BEST [ BLEEP ] THINK THAT
COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN.
>> Greg: YES!
>> I REALIZE YOU ARE LETTING
YOUR HAIR DOWN BECAUSE IT IS
SATURDAY BUT THERE IS A LITTLE
THING CALLED STANDARDS AND
PRACTICES AND DOESN'T MAGICALY
GO AWAY BECAUSE YOU WORK THE
WEEKEND.
I'M OFFENDED.
>> Greg: HER POINT IS CLEAR ARE
THAT THE HIPSTERS WILL SAY SO
AND SO IS THEST THING EVER WHEN
ACTUALLY OIL IS CHEAPER THAN
WATER.
BOTTLED WATER.
IF YOU WANTED TO POWER YOUR CR
WITH BOTTLED WATER IT WOULD
COST MORE BECAUSE A QUARTER OF
EVIAN COSTS MORE THAN A QUARTR
OF GASOLINE.
>> I DON'T THINK THAT IS WHATI
WAS SAYING.
>> Greg: YOU ARE SAYING THE
HIPSTERS SAY THE NEW REMIX
ALBUM OF RADIOHEAD IS THE BEST
THING EVER.
NO!
IT IS OIL, BERNIE!
>> YES.
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
>> I'M JUST SAYING NO ONE IS
COMPLETELY SERIOUS IN A TWEET.
GAWKER IS MAKING FUN OF THEM.
>> Greg: I GOT IT YOU FILTHY
MOUTH PERSON.
>> I HAD A QUESTION.
>> Greg: GREAT OBSERVATION.
>> IF YOU POKE A HOLE IN BILL
OIL AND GAS COME OUT.
>> Greg: YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO
POKE A HOLE.
>> NO.
>> I WILL TWEET THAT LATER.
>> Greg: POKE A HOLE IN BILL
AND OIL AND GAS COME IN.
>> BRING THE OIL AND THEN THE
GAS COMES.
>> Greg: BILL, LAST THING.
>> BIG THING IS TO POKE A HOLE
IN BILL.
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT POKING A
HOLE IN BILL.
>> Greg: AMERICA WANTS TO POKE
A HOLE IN BILL.
>> I HAVE GOT A.
>> WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME.
>> Greg: WE WILL CLOSE THINGS
OUT WITH THE POST GAME WRAPUP
FROM TV'S ANDY
♪♪
>> Greg: BACK MONDAY AT THE
FIVE.
A BRAND NEW "RED EYE" RETURNS
MONDAY AS WELL.
GAVIN McKINNUS AND DAN SOTER.
>> TV'S ANDY LEVY FOR THE POST
GAME WRAPUP.
>> WHAT IS NEW?
>> A FRIEND MCKINLEY MINE HAS A
CHARITY CALLED WINGED
WARRIORS.ORG AND THEY TEACH
VETERANS HOW TO FLY PLANES FOR
FREE AND ACTUALLY AUCTIONING
OFF A CESSNA.
GO TO THE WEBSITE WINGED
WARRIORS AND BUY A TICKET AND
WIN A PLANE.
>> VERY COOL.
>> P.A.B.?
>> I GOT NOTHING.
HOW DO YOU TOP WINNING A
CESSNA.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, FOLKS.
>> BERNIE WHAT IS GOING ON?
>> IMUS MONDAY MORNING FOX
BUSINESS ON THE RADIO ALL OVER
THE COUNTRY.
AND I WILL BE APPEARING IN
CHURCH TOMORROW WITH BLEARY
EYES PICKING UP MY PALMS.
HAPPY PALM SUNDAY.
>> Greg: PRETEND LIKE YOU CARE
ANDY.
>> NOT REALLY HE CHECKED OUT A
LONG TIME AGO.
>> Greg: EXCELLENT SHOW.
I ENJOYED TONIGHT AND I HOPE
AMERICA DID, TOO.
I THINK THIS WAS A SPECIAL,
SPECIAL EVENING FOR ALL OF US.