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- IT'S REUNION DAY. MY FAVORITE DAY.
- I DON'T KNOW WHO I'M GONNA BE FIGHTING TODAY, BUT I'M READY.
I'M READY FOR WHATEVER.
- WHAT ARE YOU TAKING?
- HANDFUL OF VITAMINS TO WITHSTAND ALL THESE WOMEN.
- THIS IS THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS FOR SURE.
- DON'T WORRY. THIS IS NOT MY FINAL HAIR.
I KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE, YOU KNOW,
I JUST PUT MY FINGER SOMEWHERE, BUT NO.
- OF COURSE IT'S REAL DIAMONDS TODAY.
DO I LOOK LIKE SECONDHAND ROW?
- SHOWTIME.
LIKE IT OR NOT, WALKING INTO THE LION'S DEN.
- HERE WE GO.
- RIGHT NOW, I'M HAPPY, I'M SMILING,
BUT I'M SURE THAT'S GONNA BE DIFFERENT AFTER.
- TONIGHT, THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI REUNITE.
- YOUR DRESS IS PROBABLY WORTH ABOUT $10,000 RIGHT NOW.
- NO, IT'S A LITTLE BIT LESS.
- OH, WELL, RIGHT.
SORRY.
- MAYBE ROMAIN AND FREDERIC ARE GOING TO BE TOGETHER,
AND YOU AND I ARE GOING TO BE SINGLE NEXT YEAR.
WHO KNOWS?
- WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?
LET'S JUST SPEED IT UP, BECAUSE I WANT TO DEFEND MYSELF.
YOU'RE ALREADY IMPLYING SOMETHING.
SO LET'S GO. YOU WANT TO GO?
- YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SAY IT.
- YOU KEEP ON BRINGING UP THE PAST.
- WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT YOU HATE MY MOTHER?
- YOU'RE SITTING NEXT TO FAKE.
- YOU HAVE BEEN A ***, OKAY?
- HOW DARE YOU EVEN BRING SOMETHING LIKE THAT UP?
- WE'VE MOVED ON. YOU'RE STILL THERE.
I KNOW THAT YOUR MIND, YOUR BRAIN,
CAN ONLY, LIKE, STAY THERE.
WE'VE MOVED ON. - YOU'RE SUCH A ***.
- HOW DARE YOU.
YOU ARE A COLD-HEARTED, DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING.
- YOU'RE A HOME WRECKER. EVERYBODY KNOWS IT.
- YOU ARE THE MOST UNGRATEFUL PERSON I'VE EVER KNOWN.
- THAT'S [bleep] LOW, JOANNA, OKAY?
- HOLD ON. DON'T CRY, LISA.
- NO, I'M CRYING BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND.
NOW YOU'RE TAKING DIGS AT ME NOT BEING ABLE TO GET PREGNANT.
WHAT A *** YOU ARE FOR THAT.
- PART ONE OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI REUNION
STARTS NOW.
GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,
AND WELCOME TO THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI REUNION.
I'M ANDY COHEN, AND TONIGHT I'M JOINED
BY THE SEXY AND SPICY LADIES OF MIAMI.
HI, JOANNA KRUPA.
- HELLO.
- OR SHOULD I SAY MRS. ZAGO?
- MISS KRUPA-ZAGO.
- OKAY, OKAY.
VERY GOOD.
HELLO, THERE, LISA.
- WELL, HELLO, THERE, ANDY.
- YOU LOOK GREAT. - THANK YOU.
SO DO YOU.
- THANK YOU.
LEA BLACK, HI.
- HI, MY FRIEND, NICE TO SEE YOU.
- THE DIAMONDS ARE BLINDING.
- OF COURSE.
- WHAT'S REAL HERE? - EVERYTHING.
- OH...
- AND THEN SOME. [laughing]
- OKAY. ADRIANA.
- HELLO. - GREAT TO SEE YOU.
- TO SEE YOU YOU TOO. - THANK YOU FOR BEING ON TIME.
- ANYTHING FOR YOU. [chuckle]
- LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, HI, ALEXIA.
- HI, ANDY. - HOW'S YOUR MOM?
- SHE'S DOING GREAT. SHE SENDS HER REGARDS.
- GOOD. SEND HER MINE.
- I WILL DO THAT.
- WELL, LADIES, IT'S BEEN A CRAZY SEASON
OF ALTERCATIONS AND ULTIMATUMS.
BUT DESPITE ALL THE DRAMA,
THERE SURE WERE A LOT OF FUN MOMENTS
THAT MADE YOU TOTALLY SAY, "ONLY IN MIAMI."
[upbeat club music]
♪ ♪
- WHAT HAPPENS IN MIAMI--
[cheers and applause]
- SOME OF WHAT WE'RE EXPOSED TO IN MIAMI
ISN'T REALLY THE REAL WORLD.
- EVERYBODY'S SO FUN AND SHEIK AND SEXY.
- WE'RE REPRESENTING MIAMI QUITE WELL.
- THIS IS ***.
- FAKE, THE KEY WORD.
- MIAMI IS A STUNNING PLACE WITH SHADY PEOPLE.
- HAVE YOU DECIDED ON YOUR IV HOTEL?
- HIT ME WITH THE SKIN AND NAILS.
- US MIAMI GIRLS ARE ABOUT THE QUICK FIX.
- I SMELL THE VITAMINS.
- DOESN'T IT SMELL GREAT?
- FAST RESULTS.
- OH, GOD.
- THIS IS MIAMI.
EVERYBODY GETS A LITTLE HELP TO STAY YOUNG.
- I'M JUST DOING WHAT YOU DO.
- A CRAMP. CRAMP.
- THAT'S WHY I DON'T EXERCISE.
- YOU'RE GONNA START BY TOUCHING YOUR TOES.
ONE, TWO--
- THERE-- THAT'S A MIAMI BUTT.
PEOPLE PAY BIG MONEY FOR THAT BUTT.
YEAH.
[laughter]
- OH, MY GOD.
- HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE MIAMI FASHION?
- UNIQUE. - SHEIK.
- SEXY. - JUST LOOK AT US.
[indistinct chatter]
- PEOPLE TAKE RISKS IN MIAMI WITH THE CLOTHES
THAT THEY MIGHT NOT TAKE ELSEWHERE,
IS MY INTERPRETATION.
- WELL, I THINK MIAMI IS VERY CLOSE TO EUROPE,
BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE SO FREE WITH THEIR BODIES.
THEY'RE VERY CONFIDENT AND THEY'RE SEXY.
YOU KNOW, IF THEY HAVE IT, THEY FLAUNT IT.
- THE WEATHER, SINCE IT'S ALWAYS SO WARM,
I THINK IT LENDS ITSELF TO SHOW MORE SKIN
THAN OTHER CITIES.
- THERE'S LOTS OF SKIN, FLASHY, YOU KNOW, IN YOUR FACE.
- I'M GETTING AN EYEFUL RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S FANTASTIC.
I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THE SIDE VIEW.
- I'M GETTING THE SAME SIDE VIEW, ANDY.
- I'M NOT GONNA BE OFFENDED IF YOU LOOK THERE
INSTEAD OF MY FACE.
IT'S OKAY.
- I'M LOOKING THERE, AND I'M LOOKING THERE.
SO I APOLOGIZE.
WHAT'S IT LIKE LIVING IN A CITY
THAT'S A VACATION DESTINATION?
THAT SEEMS SO WEIRD TO ME.
- NOBODY WORKS. - NOBODY WORKS.
- SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.
- OH, YEAH, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, LISA.
- NO, I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE--
SHE WASN'T SAYING THAT IN A CONDESCENDING WAY.
SHE WAS SAYING IN MIAMI A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FORTUNATE ENOUGH
TO EITHER NOT HAVE TO WORK,
OR THEY CAN WORK A NIGHT SHIFT--
- I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT.
I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE WORK IN MIAMI.
I MEAN, HOW WOULD MIAMI BE GOING?
TONS OF PEOPLE WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF.
- I DISAGREE.
MOST PEOPLE I KNOW, THEY GET UP AT, LIKE, GOD KNOWS WHEN, AND--
- WELL, YOU JUST STARTED YOUR SKIN CARE LINE A LITTLE BIT AGO.
ALL THOSE YEARS BEFORE YOU DIDN'T WORK, SO--
- ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
- OKAY, BUT ANYWAY, LET'S JUST NOT SAY
THAT PEOPLE IN MIAMI DON'T WORK.
THAT'S NOT COOL. ROMAIN WORKS HIS *** OFF.
- THANK YOU, JOANNA. SO DOES JONATHAN AND SO DO I.
- LISA'S SAYING THAT A LOT OF HER FRIENDS
- PEOPLE WORK IN MIAMI, OKAY? LET'S JUST PUT IT THAT WAY.
- SHE'S SAYING THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT SHE HANGS OUT WITH,
AND IS ABLE TO GO OUT AND SOCIALIZE WITH,
DON'T HAVE TO WORK AS HARD
AS THEY WOULD IF THEY LIVED IN, SAY, NEW YORK.
- I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT AT ALL.
- OKAY, I WASN'T TRYING TO ARGUE WITH ANYBODY.
I WAS JUST ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION.
- OKAY.
IF THERE'S ONE THING THAT WE LEARNED THIS YEAR,
IT'S THAT PLANNING A WEDDING
IS NOT ALWAYS SMOOTH SAILING.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK BACK
AT JOANNA AND ADRIANA'S ROCKY ROAD TO THE ALTAR.
- AFTER FOUR YEARS OF UPS AND DOWNS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP,
I REALLY WANT TO SHOW OUT THAT EXUBERANCE,
LIKE A DREAM, LIKE A DREAM, LIKE ANGLES FLYING.
- [chuckle] I LOVE IT.
- WE'RE GONNA HAVE TWO LOOKS--
THE CHURCH, EVERYBODY'S GONNA BE WEARING WHITE.
THE GUESTS ARE REQUIRED TO CHANGE INTO 1920s ATTIRE.
- HELLO. - CAN WE CHANGE IN THERE?
- I'M TELLING PEOPLE THAT I KNOW TO TRY AND CONSOLIDATE
THE WHITE AND THE GREAT GATSBY LOOK.
- NO, THEY DO HAVE TO CHANGE.
- BUT, ADRIANA--
- NO, MARYSOL, IT'S MY PARTY.
- OH, LORD.
- IT'S MY WEDDING, AND THAT'S WHAT I WANT.
- THE RUNWAY WOULD BE, LIKE, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POOL
WITH CANDLES AND FLOATING FLOWERS.
- I WAITED SIX YEARS TO HAVE MY DREAM WEDDING,
AND EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECTION.
IT'S GONNA BECOME A FAIRY TALE.
- THE WEDDING STARTS AT 6:00.
IT'S 5:10. - OH, SHOOT.
- YOU NEED TO PULL THAT CREEPY THING OFF YOUR FACE
AND BLOW YOUR HAIR OUT, ALREADY.
- WHERE'S THE BRIDE?
- [screaming]
- THIS IS CRAZY.
WE NEED TO GO.
- [grunt]
- IN LEA'S MIND, I'M MARRIED.
BUT SHE'S NOT THE BOSS OF ME.
- DO YOU TAKE THIS MAN TO BE YOUR HUSBAND,
AND WILL YOU LOVE HIM FAITHFULLY
FOR AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?
IF SO, ANSWER I DO.
- I DO.
- I PRONOUNCE THAT YOU ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE.
YOU MAY KISS YOUR BRIDE.
[applause]
- SO, JOANNA, HOW DOES IT FEEL BEING MRS. ZAGO?
- IT FEELS GREAT, BUT, HONESTLY, IT'S NOT THAT DIFFERENT
BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR SO MANY YEARS--
- HOW LONG?
- WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR SIX 1/2 YEARS.
AND FROM THE BEGINNING WE WERE TOGETHER LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE.
WE FELL IN LOVE.
WE GOT ENGAGED IN THE FIRST EIGHT MONTHS.
BUT NOW WE HAVE TO MAKE DECISIONS TOGETHER,
SO THAT'S A DIFFERENCE.
- WHO IS ROMAIN'S BRAZILIAN FRIEND
WHO WAS IN THE WEDDING PARTY?
- HE WAS HOT. - HER PARTNER.
- I KNOW, ALL THE GIRLS WERE GOING CRAZY AFTER HIM.
AND HE ACTUALLY BROKE HIS ARM.
HE FELL OVER A CORD. - HE DID. I SAW THAT.
- BECAUSE ROMAIN HAD THIS--
- IT WAS THE SCARIEST THING. - I KNOW.
- WAIT, HE BROKE HIS ARM AT THE WEDDING?
- YES. - NO.
- ROMAIN HAD THIS BRILLIANT IDEA
TO PUT THESE, YOU KNOW, LIGHTS,
LIKE THEY HAVE IN DANCING WITH THE STARS, AROUND THE STAGE.
SO HE WAS MOVING FROM THE BAR AND FELL AND BROKE HIS ARM.
HE WENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
- NO. - YEP.
- HE WAS ALSO HITTING ON EVERYBODY.
- EVERYBODY, YEAH. [laughs]
- WELL, ALL THE GIRLS WERE NURSING HIM, SO--
- YEAH, OH, I BET. I BET.
- OH, HE REPRESENTED MY COUNTRY QUITE WELL.
- YES, HE DID. YES, HE DID.
SO WHAT DID YOU BOTH THINK OF EACH OTHER'S WEDDINGS?
- BESIDES BEING LATE AND ALL THAT STUFF,
I THOUGHT YOUR WEDDING DRESS WAS GORGEOUS,
I REALLY DID.
- STUNNING.
- I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS RUDE TO, YOU KNOW, BE LATE
FOR SO MANY HOURS.
- WHAT YOU SAID IS,
"I HAD TO FAST FORWARD SOME OF IT,
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE AS MISERABLE AS HER GUESTS."
- BECAUSE THEY WERE MISERABLE.
- "IT WAS WORSE THAN HEARING NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD.
"OH, MY GOSH, IT WAS DEFINITELY A DISASTER.
"I COULDN'T WISH ANYBODY A WORSE WEDDING THAN WHAT SHE HAD.
IT WAS DREADFUL."
- WORST WEDDING IN THE SENSE THAT SHE WAS LATE.
I MEAN, IT WAS REALLY SAD TO SEE THE PEOPLE.
THEY LOOKED MISERABLE, AND THEY WERE HOT,
YOU COULD SEE THEY WERE SWEATING--
- BUT THE FACTS--
- THE WEDDING, YOUR DRESS, THE LOCATION,
IT WAS DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS.
- I UNDERSTAND I HAVE A PROBLEM.
I HAVE AN ISSUE-- - AT LEAST YOU ADMIT TO IT.
- YOU DO. - THAT'S A STEP TO RECOVERY.
- IS THERE, LIKE, YOU KNOW, AAA FOR LATE PEOPLE?
- YEAH, OKAY. STEP ONE.
- BECAUSE I THINK, I ADMIT IT, I HAVE AN ISSUE,
AND I THINK I REALLY NEED
SERIOUS PROFESSIONAL HELP WITH THIS.
- OKAY, DON'T YOU THINK WATCHING YOUR WEDDING BACK,
THAT IT WAS A KILLER TO MAKE THOSE GUESTS
NOT ONLY CHANGE CLOTHES,
BUT TO WAIT FOR SO LONG,
"A," FOR THE CEREMONY,
AND, "B," FOR THE RECEPTION?
- YEAH, IT WAS, BUT, IT WAS KIND OF PROGRAMMED THAT WAY.
THERE WAS ABOUT A TWO-HOUR BREAK
BETWEEN THE CEREMONY AND THE SIT-DOWN DINNER
WITH A COCKTAIL HOUR IN BETWEEN THAT WASN'T SHOWN.
- COCKTAIL TWO-HOURS.
- YEAH, THERE WAS A COCKTAIL FOR ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF.
- [laughing]
- EXCEPT THE GUESTS DIDN'T KNOW IT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.
- GIRLFRIEND, JUST ADMIT TO IT.
- JOLEE FROM INDIANA SAID,
"DON'T YOU THINK IT WAS INCONSIDERATE AND SELFISH
"TO MAKE YOUR GUESTS CHANGE TWICE?
I MEAN, NOT EVERYONE CAN AFFORD TWO OUTFIT CHANGES."
- ALL MY FRIENDS WERE THRILLED WITH THE IDEA.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU ASK--
- WELL, I MEAN NOT ALL OF THEM.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, MARYSOL WAS *** ABOUT IT ON THE SHOW.
- WELL, ACTUALLY, MARYSOL LIKED IT.
I WAS THE ONE WHO WASN'T TOO THRILLED,
BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS SO MUCH WORK.
- IT WAS A LOT OF WORK.
- I MEAN, I DIDN'T MIND IT, I THOUGHT IT WAS BEAUTIFUL,
BUT WE NEVER SPOKE ABOUT IT.
LIKE, WE NEVER, YOU KNOW--
- WELL, PEOPLE COULD SAY NO.
IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE MY BRIDESMAID AND NOT DRESS UP,
YOU COULD HAVE SAID, "NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT."
- NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
OF COURSE I WANTED TO BE YOUR BRIDESMAID.
- THAT MEANS YOU ACCEPT. YOU ACCEPT THE TERMS.
- IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT, THOUGH. IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
THAT IS NOT WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
- HOLD ON, ADRIANA.
- NOBODY HAD A GUN TO THEIR HEAD
FORCING THEM TO GO TO THE WEDDING.
- WELL, ADRIANA, WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF JOANNA'S WEDDING DRESS, BY THE WAY?
- [guffaw] LOOK AT HER FACE.
- SAY THE TRUTH. - DON'T LIE.
BRING IT ON. I DON'T CARE.
- I THOUGHT THAT YOUR WEDDING DRESS WAS A FLAMENCO DRESS.
- A FLAMENCO?
- FLAMENCO, LIKE THE SPANISH DANCE.
- FLAMENCO, LIKE THE DANCING. - SPANISH DANCE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, MY DRESS WAS SUPER HOT AND SEXY
AND I DID IT FOR MY FIANCE, AND THAT'S ALL I CARE ABOUT.
- HAVE THINGS HEATED UP IN THE BEDROOM WITH YOU AND ROMAIN?
- WELL, THE SEX THERAPIST DEFINITELY HELPED A LITTLE BIT,
BECAUSE OF HIS CHILDHOOD.
LIKE, MY WHOLE LIFE, I'VE NEVER HAD ISSUES WITH IT.
GUYS WERE ALWAYS CHASING ME AND THEY WERE AGGRESSIVE WITH ME,
AND HERE I'M THE MORE OF THE AGGRESSIVE ONE
AND HE JUST NEEDS SOMEBODY TO LOVE HIM
AND CARE FOR HIM, YOU KNOW?
- OKAY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
COMING UP...
- THAT'S [bleep] LOW, JOANNA. OKAY?
- NO, BUT, HOLD ON. DON'T CRY, LISA.
- NO, I'M CRYING BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND.
YOU'RE TAKING DIGS AT ME, NOT BEING ABLE TO GET PREGNANT?
WHAT A *** YOU ARE FOR THAT.
- WE ARE BACK WITH THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI REUNION.
THIS SEASON BOTH LISA AND JOANNA HAD THEIR FAIR SHARE OF PROBLEMS
WITH THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS,
BUT BY THE END OF THE SEASON,
IT WAS THEIR FRIENDSHIP THAT WAS IN NEED OF COUPLE'S THERAPY.
- I MISS YOU ***. - I MISS YOU TOO.
- CAN I TELL YOU, WHEN I GO SEE YOU, I GET THIS--
I GET LIKE MAD AT YOU KIND OF, BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T CALL ME--
- LISA NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE A CAREER AND I'M BUSY.
I'M TRAVELING. I HAVE A JOB.
- ARE YOU DOING YOUR KEGEL'S?
- WHAT THE [bleep] IS THAT?
- THE [bleep] EXERCISE.
- I HAVE A LOVE/HATE WITH JOANNA.
SOMETIMES SHE CAN BE A PAIN IN MY ***,
AND THEN OTHER TIMES SHE'S GREAT.
- L.A. TIME. [chuckling]
- HERE'S TO JOANNA.
- JOANNA, CHEERS TO THE WEDDING.
- MY L.A. FRIENDS ARE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF MIAMI FRIENDS.
THEY'RE HARD WORKING. THEY'RE HUSTLERS.
EVERY SINGLE FRIEND OF MINE IN LOS ANGELES
HAS ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING ON HER OWN.
- YOU GUYS NEED TO ALL GET OVER YOURSELVES.
- OH, PLEASE, LOOK WHO'S [bleep] TALKING, LISA.
YOU NEED TO GET OVER YOURSELF.
MISS PEACEMAKER, OKAY?
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING A PEACEMAKER?
- YOU DON'T SEE IT BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG, OKAY.
LISA, PLEASE JUST HAVE THE BABY SO YOU CAN STOP MOTHERING US.
- YOU'RE DELUSIONAL.
- YOU'RE [bleep]--YOU KNOW WHAT? [bleep] YOU.
YOU CALL ME DELUSIONAL, YOU'RE NOT IN MY WEDDING PARTY.
GET THE [bleep] OUT OF HERE.
DON'T CALL ME A ***. - OH MY, GOD.
- I WORK FOR A LIVING. I BUST MY ***.
I'M NOT MARRYING FOR MONEY.
- OH, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- HOW DARE YOU.
HAVE I DONE ANYTHING TO ACT LIKE A ***?
NO.
BUT YOU SURE ARE ACING LIKE A [bleep] ***,
AND SHE SURE KNOWS HOW TO WORK THAT STRIPPER POLE.
INTERESTING, ISN'T IT?
- WELL, THAT'S NOT NICE.
- DEFINITELY NOT NICE. - THAT'S NOT NICE.
- SO IT SEEMS LIKE YOU WERE TAKING MULTIPLE JABS
AT LISA THIS SEASON FOR NOT HAVING A JOB.
- LENNY DOES IT ALL THE TIME,
SO I DIDN'T THINK--I WASN'T DOING IT ON PURPOSE.
IT WAS JUST JOKING. - YES, YOU WERE.
- I MEAN, HER OWN HUSBAND DOES IT.
- YOU WERE DOING IT ON PURPOSE.
YOU WERE TAKING DIGS AT ME THE ENTIRE SEASON.
- BUT I WAS KIDDING. YOUR HUSBAND DOES IT.
SO YOU'RE MAD AT YOU'RE HUSBAND WHEN HE DOES IT?
I DIDN'T MEAN IT FROM A BAD-- FROM A--
- IT'S OKAY FOR A HUSBAND, BUT NOT OKAY FOR A FRIEND TO SAY IT.
- WE HAVE A DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP.
ME AND MY HUSBAND HAVE
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP.
- MAY I JUST SPEAK FOR YOU FOR A SECOND?
- SHE COMES TO L.A.
SHE TRAVELS 3,000 MILES TO BE THERE
TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR WEDDING,
BECAUSE YOU'RE CRYING YOUR EYES OUT.
SHE COMES TO YOUR DINNER, THE FIRST THING YOU WANT TO SAY,
LIKE DIS HER IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY ON THAT TABLE
AND SAY, "WELL, ALL MY FRIENDS HERE ARE SELF-MADE."
HINT, HINT, DIG, DIG.
IS THAT WHAT A FRIEND DOES?
- WELL, ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T REALLY MEAN THAT
BECAUSE LEA, ALEXIA, HAVE JOBS,
SO I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY.
- SHE WAS THERE WITH ALL THE L.A. FRIENDS.
- WHAT IS YOUR DEAL? LET ME ASK THIS.
WHAT IS YOUR DEAL WITH HER NOT WORKING?
WHAT--IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT.
- WHY ARE YOU UPSET WITH THAT?
- I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT.
I DIDN'T TAKE IT AS I'M TAKING DIGS AT YOU AT ALL.
- MAYBE SHE WANTS TO BE YOU. MAYBE SHE WANTS YOUR LIFE.
- IF I WANTED THAT LIFE,
I WOULD'VE MARRIED A LONG TIME AGO.
- WHO?
- I WANT TO SEE THE NAMES OF THE BILLIONAIRES
YOU HAVE ON YOUR LIST.
- MY EX-BOYFRIEND HAD HIS OWN PRIVATE JET
AND, YES, HE OWNED COAL MINES,
SO, YES, IF I WANTED TO GO THAT WAY, I WOULD HAVE WENT THAT WAY.
OKAY? I HAD A CHOICE, OKAY?
- CAN I SPEAK, PLEASE? - YES, YOU CAN SPEAK.
- OKAY, SO, BEFORE I MET MY HUSBAND,
I WORKED VERY HARD MY ENTIRE LIFE, MUCH LIKE JOANNA.
I'M AN IMMIGRANT.
YOU KNOW, I HAD TO STRUGGLE TOO.
I NEVER WENT OUT TO LOOK FOR MY HUSBAND.
MY HUSBAND CAME TO ME. - AN IMMIGRANT FROM CANADA?
- YEAH.
- WELL, I MEAN-- - WHAT?
- AN IMMIGRANT FROM CANADA? - YEAH.
- IT'S A DIFFERENT COUNTRY, YEAH.
- A LITTLE DIFFERENT COMING FROM A COMMUNIST COUNTRY, BUT, OKAY.
- OKAY, WHY EVEN SAY THAT?
- OKAY, BUT I'M JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW, IT'S--
- SO YOUR STRUGGLES ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MYSELF?
- LET'S GET THE POINT OUT HERE, OKAY?
- OKAY, BUT, LET'S FINISH.
- FOR THE RECORD,
I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE A JOB OR IF YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB,
I DON'T KNOW. I DIDN'T SAY IT AS A DIG.
I GUESS I FELT SAYING IT AT THAT MOMENT.
RIGHT NOW, I REALLY DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE A JOB OR NOT.
- DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IT CAME OFF AS A DIG?
IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE-- - YOU SAID IT A MILLION TIMES.
- YOU KNOW, LIKE EVERY SECOND YOU GET A CHANCE,
YOU'RE, LIKE, "OH, LISA, I'M BUSY; I HAVE A JOB."
THAT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU SAID
IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON.
AND YOU KEPT ON SAYING IT, AND SAYING IT, AND SAYING IT.
AND IT'S, LIKE--
- WHAT'S SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT?
- BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR--
IT'S A PROBLEM THAT YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF,
THAT YOU'RE PROJECTING ON TO ME.
- NO, I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MYSELF.
- REALLY?
- DREW, FROM SAN FRANCISCO SAID,
"LISA, DO YOU EVER FEEL BAD SPENDING $10,000 ON A BIRKIN
WHEN YOU DIDN'T EARN THE MONEY YOURSELF?"
- HOW DOES SHE KNOW I DIDN'T EARN THE MONEY MYSELF?
I WORKED VERY HARD BEFORE I MET LENNY.
- WHAT WAS IT THAT YOU WORKED IN?
CAN I ASK YOU, LIKE, WHAT WAS YOUR JOB?
- I WAS A MODEL--
- I WAS A MODEL AND AN ACTRESS.
WHAT WAS YOUR JOB?
- I WAS A TEACHER.
I WAS A SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHER WHEN I MET HERMAN,
AND I HAD WORKED FOR DADE COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS FOR 13 YEARS.
- AND WHAT DID YOU DO WHEN YOU MET HERMAN?
DID YOU WORK WHEN YOU MET HERMAN?
- I CONTINUED TO WORK TWO YEARS.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO QUESTION ME IN THIS WAY.
I SHARED THIS-- - DON'T GET DEFENSIVE.
JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION.
- IT WAS ABOUT YOU, SWEETHEART, I WAS ASKING YOU.
- BUT YOU INTERRUPTED.
- NO, I SAID--WELL, BECAUSE YOU KEEP ON SAYING
YOU HAD ALL THESE JOBS, SO I'M INTERESTED,
AFTER KNOWING YOU FOR TWO YEARS, WHAT IT IS THAT YOU DO.
MAYBE THEN WE CAN UNDERSTAND. - OKAY.
- YOU GOT DEFENSIVE BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY
DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
- NO, ALEXIA, WE WERE HAVING A CONVERSATION.
PLEASE WAIT YOUR TURN.
OKAY, THE BIRKIN BAG, IT'S A GUILTY PLEASURE OF MINE.
I LIKE BIRKINS. I'M NOT HURTING ANYBODY.
I GIVE BACK TO CHARITY, AND I CAN AFFORD IT.
THAT'S MY ANSWER.
- UM, YOUR FRIEND KARENT
WAS ON A CHARITABLE MISSION IN AFRICA.
AND YOU TWEETED, "I'M HONORED TO CALL KARENT MY FRIEND,
"WHILE OTHERS THAT ARE SUPERFICIAL
ARE WORRIED ABOUT THEIR NEXT BIRKIN BAG."
- I SAW THAT TWEET.
- I GUESS THAT WAS DIRECTED TOWARDS--
- SHE DIDN'T HAVE A BIRKIN BAG BACK THEN, SO--
- WELL, WHO WAS IT-- WHO WAS IT DIRECTED AT?
IT WAS DIRECTED TO PEOPLE THAT ARE SUPERFICIAL.
- I DON'T--JOANNA, I DON'T BUY IT.
I DON'T BUY IT FOR A SEC-- I DON'T BUY IT.
- LET ME ASK YOU THIS.
BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY
ON BEAUTIFUL THINGS FOR YOURSELF.
- EVERYBODY LOVES BEAUTIFUL THINGS, OF COURSE.
- BUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE CASTING ASPERSIONS
ON SOMEONE WHO--
- ANDY, MY LIFE IS BEYOND LISA.
IT WAS JUST--
- IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE, THEN, YOU KNOW?
- WELL, ALEXIA, DO YOU AGREE WITH JOANNA,
THAT BIRKINS ARE A LITTLE EXCESSIVE,
OR ARE YOU DOWN WITH THE BIRKINS?
- WELL, I SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON CLOTHES AND ON FASHION,
BECAUSE I LOVE FASHION.
I NEVER SAID THAT IT WAS A BAD THING TO DO THAT,
AND I'M NOT CRITICIZING HER FOR DOING IT.
TO MAKE THE LONG STORY SHORT--
- YOU SPEND MONEY ALL THE TIME
ON YOUR DRESSES AND YOUR CLOTHES AND--
- I DO, BUT NOT ON ONE PARTICULAR THING,
LIKE, THROUGHOUT THE MONTH.
- YOUR DRESS IS PROBABLY WORTH ABOUT $10,000
RIGHT NOW THAT YOU'RE WEARING.
- NO, IT'S A LITTLE BIT LESS. - SORRY.
[laughter]
- UM, JOANNA, I READ ONLINE,
YOU SAID THIS ABOUT LISA,
"SHE HAS SUCH AN ISSUE WITH GETTING PREGNANT.
"MAYBE CUTTING DOWN ON THE PARTYING WOULD HELP
"WITH THE HEALTH ASPECT OF BECOMING PREGNANT.
SHE SHOULD FOCUS ON HERSELF A LITTLE MORE."
- WOW, THAT--
- WELL, EVERY TIME I SEE LISA, SHE HAS A DRINK IN HER HAND.
AND I WENT THROUGH--
- THAT'S [bleep] LOW, JOANNA, OKAY?
- NO, BUT, HOLD ON. DON'T CRY, LISA.
- NO, I'M CRYING BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND.
AND YOU'RE TAKING DIGS AT ME NOT BEING ABLE TO GET PREGNANT?
WHAT A *** YOU ARE FOR THAT.
- I'M NOT TAKING DIGS AT YOU.
- YES, YOU ARE. - YOU DON'T--
- HOW DARE YOU [bleep] SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT?
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.
YOU'VE' NEVER TRIED OR HAVE BEEN TRYING,
OR YOU DON'T WANT KIDS, RIGHT?
SO WHY WOULD YOU TAKE DIGS ABOUT THAT?
- YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO BELOW THE BELT,
BUT I COULD GO BELOW THE BELT RIGHT NOW.
SO I SUGGEST-- - GO BELOW THE BELT!
I'M TELLING THE TRUTH.
YOU WERE TAKING DIGS AT ME GETTING PREGNANT.
- PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO THERE. - IT'S THE TRUTH, JOANNA.
- PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO THERE.
- GO THERE. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY?
- BECAUSE--ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED AT THE WEDDING.
- WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?
WHAT THE [bleep] IS WRONG WITH YOU, JOANNA?
- SHE HAD A DRINK IN HER HAND. - I'M NOT IMPLYING ANYTHING.
- WHY CAN'T YOU SPIT IT OUT?
BECAUSE I WANT TO DEFEND MYSELF.
YOU'RE ALREADY IMPLYING SOMETHING,
SO LET'S GO.
- YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SAY IT.
- REALLY? REALLY?
- I'M NOT GOING BELOW--
LISA, YOU'RE MY FRIEND,
AND I'M NOT GOING TO GO BELOW THE BELT.
- FOR YOU TO SAY THAT IS, LIKE, JUST SO [bleep] CRAZY.
- BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU. - YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M DONE WITH YOU.
YOU WANT TO MAKE ACCUSATIONS LIKE THAT?
- I'M NOT--I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
- YOU'RE IMPLYING. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.
- YOU'RE IMPLYING. YOU'RE IMPLYING SOMETHING.
- IT'S NASTY, BECAUSE IT'S A LIE.
YOU ARE JUST--NOW I REALIZE YOU'RE JUST A LIAR.
WHAT THE [bleep] IS WRONG WITH YOU?
- THE ONLY REASON I SAID,
"PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO BELOW THE BELT,"
THAT'S IT, OKAY?
THAT'S ALL I SAID.
- THAT'S REALLY NASTY,
AND YOU'RE IMPLYING SOMETHING
AND EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD
KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO IMPLY.
YOU THINK EVERYONE'S STUPID?
- YOU HAVE NO HEART.
[indistinct arguing]
YOU HAVE NO HEART.
- YOU LOST ALL CREDIBILITY THIS WHOLE SEASON,
SO I DON'T REALLY CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.
- I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE GOOD? - I DID TOO.
- THIS IS THE WAY SHE'S TREATING LISA?
THE WAY SHE'S TREATING LISA?
- YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS HER ACHILLES HEEL, AND YOU HIT IT.
- OF COURSE. I UNDERSTAND.
- YOU'RE SUCH A ***.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
HOW [bleep] DARE SHE ACCUSE ME OF THAT?
HOW [bleep] DARE SHE?
THAT'S BELOW THE BELT. THAT'S BELOW THE BELT.
I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T DOING THAT, BUT I GUESS--
I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW WITH THE CAMERA.
PLEASE, STOP.
- COMING UP...
- YOU ARE A COLD-HEARTED--
- YOU'RE A HOME WRECKER, AND EVERYBODY KNOWS IT.
- WELCOME BACK.
WELL, MIAMI'S HOT,
BUT SOME OF THE LADIES' BEDROOMS SEEMED ICE COLD.
HOW DO SO MANY GORGEOUS WOMEN GO SEXLESS IN SUCH A HOT TOWN?
TAKE A LOOK.
[players moaning and grunting]
- THE MOANING MAKES ME THINK OF SEX,
WHICH WE DON'T EVER HAVE.
- SHH.
OKAY, I'M DONE.
- THIS ROLE-PLAYING SUCKS MY ***.
- I KNOW, IT DOES.
- BUT IF I'M TO RECALL BACK TO 1980,
THE LAST TIME I HAD SEX,
IT SOUNDED SOMETHING LIKE...
[sings operatically]
- IT'S LIKE YOU'RE AVOIDING ME.
- I'M NOT AVOIDING YOU.
- YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO DO ME ANYMORE.
- CAN I GO TO BED NOW? I'M REALLY PRETTY TIRED.
- I WANT TO GET BANGED LIKE A CHICKEN CUTLET
EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.
I HAVE NEEDS.
CAN YOU TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT?
- NO.
- LENNY'S NOT BANGING LISA.
ROMAIN'S DEFINITELY NOT BANGING ME.
- HOW ABOUT THE COLOMBIAN GIRL--
- SHUT UP. SHUT THE [bleep] UP.
- HE'S BEEN [bleep] A COLOMBIAN GIRL.
- GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
GOOD FOR HIM IF HE DID.
I HAVE A FEELING THAT LEA IS HAVING SEX FOUR TIMES A DAY.
- FOR THE FIRST TEN YEARS OF MY MARRIAGE,
I MEAN, HONESTLY, MY HUSBAND DID HAVE A CHRONIC HARD-ON.
OH, MY GOD!
WHY AM I THE ONE GETTING ALL THIS ATTENTION?
- I JUST WANT TO [bleep].
I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LOVE PART, JUST [bleep].
[laughter]
- SO NOW THAT YOU'RE MARRIED, DID ROMAIN FIND THE HOLE?
- HE DID BEFORE I CAME HERE, I THINK, FOR GOOD ENERGY.
- REALLY? YOU GOT LAID BEFORE YOU CAME?
- BUT IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS BEFORE THAT, SO IT'S STILL--
- THAT'S PROGRESS. - IT'S STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS.
BUT WE'VE BEEN TRYING THE ROLE-PLAYING A LITTLE BIT MORE.
- AND HOW'S THAT BEEN GOING? - MUCH BETTER.
- REALLY? - YEAH.
- THE CONCEPT THAT YOU, ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN AROUND,
NOT BEING SEXUALLY FULFILLED IS--IT'S ALMOST A CRIME.
- WELL, IT JUST PROVES TO YOU THAT NOBODY'S PERFECT.
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE GO THROUGH OBSTACLES,
AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE,
WHAT CAREER YOU HAVE.
EVERYBODY HAS ISSUES AND--
UNFORTUNATELY, I'M A VERY *** PERSON,
AND, UNFORTUNATELY THAT'S A BIG ISSUE.
- ANDY'S OFFERING TO HELP OUT.
- ANY TIME YOU WANT TO COME PLAY.
AFTER THE SEX THERAPIST, YOU KNOW, WE'RE PLAYING;
WE'RE ROLE-PLAYING; WE'RE TRYING NEW THINGS.
SO IF YOU WANT TO COME ALONG, HEY, MAYBE, YOU NEVER KNOW.
- IS THAT AN INVITATION?
- YOU KNOW, LISA, ADRIANA, ALEXIA--
YOU KNOW, HEY, LET'S MAKE IT A FUN PARTY.
YEAH, LET'S MAKE IT A FUN PARTY.
- THE BEST REUNION I'VE EVER BEEN TO.
LISA, ARE YOU GETTING BANGED
LIKE A CHICKEN CUTLET THESE DAYS?
- NO, NOT QUITE.
I MEAN, LISTEN, LENNY WORKS VERY LONG HOURS,
AND A LOT OF THE TIMES HE'S REALLY TIRED,
AND IF YOU'RE MARRIED FOR SIX YEARS,
BEEN TOGETHER FOR SIX YEARS,
IT'S NOT GONNA BE LIKE IT WAS IN THE BEGINNING
OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
- ADRIANA, BRAZILIANS EXCEL AT SEX.
- ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE WITH A FRENCH GUY, RIGHT?
SO THAT MUST BE A BOMB RIGHT THERE.
- HAS YOUR SEX LIFE CHANGED AT ALL SINCE YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED?
- NOT MUCH. - NO.
- LEA, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO WORRIES
IN THE WORLD WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR SEX LIFE.
- I'VE ALWAYS SAID MY HUSBAND, YOU KNOW,
IS AS GOOD IN THE BEDROOM AS HE IS IN THE COURTROOM.
AND IT'S JUST A FACT OF LIFE, AND THAT'S AN ISSUE WE HAVE.
WE HAVE OTHER ISSUES. THAT'S NOT ONE OF THEM.
- JACKIE FROM ORLANDO SAID,
"ALEXIA, EVERYONE'S ALWAYS VERY OPEN
"ABOUT HOW MUCH OR HOW LITTLE SIX THEY'RE HAVING.
YOU NEVER SAY A PEEP ABOUT SEX."
- MY PERSONAL LIFE WITH HERMAN IS BETWEEN HERMAN AND I,
AND I WANT TO KEEP IT THAT WAY.
BUT IT'S GREAT. I HAVE A SMILE ON MY FACE.
- ANDREA FROM LAKEWOOD, CALIFORNIA, SAID,
"JOANNA, YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL TO HAVE A MOUTH LIKE YOU HAVE.
"THE WAY YOU COME OFF IS LIKE A DUDE.
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,
PLEASE STOP SAYING ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS [bleep]."
- LIKE WHAT-- THAT'S THE WAY I AM.
I'M CRAZY. I HAVE A BIG PERSONALITY AND--
- ONE OF THE THINGS I DO ADORE ABOUT JOANNA
IS SHE REALLY IS WILLING TO PUT IT ALL OUT THERE.
I MEAN, I THINK IT'S COURAGEOUS.
I WISH I COULD BE THAT COURAGEOUS, BUT--
- NO, YOU LIKE TO PUT OTHER PEOPLE'S THINGS OUT THERE.
YOU DON'T PUT YOURS.
- NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE.
YOU KNOW, MY HUSBAND WOULD NEVER GO TO SEX THERAPY LIKE THAT.
I ONLY PUT IT OUT THERE IN DEFENSE OF MYSELF.
- RIGHT.
ADRIANA, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE COLOMBIAN WOMAN
THAT YOU ACCUSED ROMAIN OF CHEATING WITH?
- THAT WAS SOME RUMORS THAT WAS GOING AROUND TOWN,
BUT, YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT.
- IT WAS PROBABLY A GIRL I CHOSE AND BROUGHT HER HOME,
SO I PROBABLY KNOW HER.
- OH, REALLY? - DO YOU GUYS DO THAT?
- DO YOU OPEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP UP?
- NO, BUT IT WAS A STUPID COMMENT, YOU KNOW,
SO I, YOU KNOW, LIKE-- ROMAIN, IS, LIKE,
"YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST TELL THEM, YEAH, YOU PICK 'EM
AND WE BRING 'EM HOME."
SO IT'S PROBABLY ONE I CASTED.
- OH, I SEE.
- DO YOU WORRY ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY
OF HIM CHEATING ON YOU?
- NO.
I MEAN I HEAR SO MANY RUMORS ABOUT MYSELF,
ESPECIALLY IN THIS ENTERTAINMENT BUSINESS.
HE WOULD HAVE LEFT ME A LONG TIME AGO, IF--
- TALKING ABOUT RUMORS, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
SINCE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT RUMORS.
WHAT'S THAT RUMOR THAT, YOU KNOW,
YOU BROKE YOLANDA FOSTER'S MARRIAGE WITH MOHAMED?
BECAUSE MOHAMED CAME TO YOUR WEDDING.
I WAS, LIKE, WHY IS MOHAMED IN YOUR WEDDING?
- MOHAMED IS YOLANDA FOSTER'S EX-HUSBAND--
- EX, YEAH. AND WE'RE FRIENDS.
THAT'S ALL WE'VE BEEN. WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS.
- BUT IT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE I TALKED TO BRANDY
IN NEW YORK AT AN EVENT WE WERE DOING,
AND BRANDI CAME TO ME AND SAID,
"YOU KNOW, JOANNA CAME TO ME AND TRIED TO KISS ME
AND SAID THAT WAS HER FAVORITE, BECAUSE SHE SPEAKS HER MIND."
AND SHE SAID, "I JUST GAVE HER A COLD HAND SHAKE,
"BECAUSE YOLANDA CONFIDED IN ME THAT, INDEED,
"SHE WAS THE WOMAN THAT BROKE HER MARRIAGE,
THAT SHE'S A HOME WRECKER."
- WHEN I MET MOHAMED, THEY WERE ALREADY SEPARATED,
AND I NEVER HAD ANYTHING WITH MOHAMAD.
I'LL GO UNDER OATH TOMORROW IF YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT.
WE CAN CALL MOHAMAD RIGHT NOW.
SO--SORRY, RUMORS ARE JUST RUMORS.
- YEAH, ALEXIA WAS THERE WHEN BRANDI WAS THERE
WHEN BRANDI WAS SAYING THAT.
YOU WERE THERE. - YEAH, I KNOW, SHE DID SAY IT.
- ALL RIGHT.
LAUREN FROM WATERMILL SAID,
"LISA, WHY DO YOU REALLY THINK JOANNA AND ROMAIN
"AREN'T HAVING SEX?
YOU MUST KNOW; YOU SEEM TO KNOW THEM PRETTY WELL."
- I JUST THINK THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A VERY LONG TIME,
AND JOANNA CAN SOMETIMES BE A LITTLE BIT EMASCULATING.
- MAYBE HE'S GAY.
- YEAH, BECAUSE ROMAIN REALLY LOOKS IT, ADRIANA.
- HE LOOKS IT?
- OH, MY GOD. - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- WHY--OKAY.
HOW DARE YOU EVEN BRING SOMETHING LIKE THAT UP.
- I'M NOT SAYING IT'S BAD.
- BUT WHY WOULD YOU BRING SOMETHING--BECAUSE--
- BECAUSE IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY.
MARRIED MEN WITH CHILDREN COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.
- LISA HAS ISSUES WITH-- DOESN'T GET SEX
AS MUCH AS SHE WANTS.
LIKE, REALLY?
YOU ARE COLD-HEARTED--
- YOU'RE A HOME WRECKER. EVERYBODY KNOWS IT.
[indistinct chatter]
- I'M NOT DENYING ANYTHING.
- YOU'RE A HOME WRECKER.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S GO DO A LIE DETECTOR TEST
AND LET'S PUT ALL OUR QUESTIONS THROUGH A LIE DETECTOR TEST.
- YOU HAVE NO MORALS TO TALK ABOUT ME, OKAY?
- YOU DON'T RESPECT YOUR MAN.
YOU BRING MOHAMAD TO YOUR WEDDING.
RESPECT YOUR MAN.
- MOHAMAD, WHAT-- - RESPECT YOUR MAN.
RESPECT YOUR MAN.
- MOHAMAD IS FRIENDS WITH ROMAIN.
WE JUST HAD DINNER LAST WEEK WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND.
- YOU'RE EMASCULATING HIM ALL THE TIME.
- YOU'RE SICK IN THE HEAD.
- I WAS JUST BEING NICE.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY.
IF FREDERIC ONE DAY SAID, "WELL, I'M GAY."
I WOULD BE, LIKE, "OKAY, WELL,
I GUESS WE'RE GONNA PART OUR WAYS."
- I MEAN, REALLY. - IT IS WHAT IT IS.
[indistinct chatter]
- SHE'S BRAZILIAN, REMEMBER.
- WAIT. HOLD ON. I'M CALLING ROMAIN.
HOLD ON.
[indistinct chatter]
- BABY-- - IT'S WRONG.
- ADRIANA, ADRIANA, SHUT UP.
- ADRIANA. - ADRIANA, SHUT UP.
OKAY, BABY, YOU'RE ON SPEAKER, EVERYBODY CAN HEAR YOU.
THEY'RE RECORDING. YOU KNOW WHAT ADRIANA JUST SAID?
SHE SAID MAYBE YOU'RE GAY.
- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.
- ADRIANA'S-- - ANDY'S GAY. I LOVE HIM.
- HOLD ON, LET HIM [bleep] TALK.
- SHE WON'T LET ANYBODY TALK.
- [chuckling] NO, I DON'T.
WHY WOULD I WANT A MAN WITH A LIMP ***.
[all groan]
WHY WOULD I WANT A MAN WITH A LIMP ***?
I LIKE MY MEN HARD, ANDY.
I LIKE MY MEN HARD.
- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS.
- A WITCH WILL ALWAYS BE A WITCH.
- MY BLOOD IS BOILING RIGHT NOW,
AND MY HEART IS RACING,
AND I'M READY TO RIP SOMEBODY'S HEAD OFF.
THAT'S HOW I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW.
AND THAT PERSON IS ADRIANA.
I WILL NEVER, IN MY LIFE, MAKE PEACE WITH THAT PERSON AGAIN.
- COMING UP...
- IT IS MY LIFE.
IT IS MY LIFE.
- WAIT A MINUTE, TALK ABOUT UNGRATEFUL.
YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
- YOU ARE THE MOST UNGRATEFUL PERSON I'VE EVER KNOWN.
- FIRST OF ALL, NONE OF THE LADIES LET ME TALK.
IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT. I'M USED TO IT.
THE POINT THAT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE WAS--
OKAY, IF I CAN EVER TALK WITH THIS GROUP OF LADIES.
YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SPEAK.
THE OTHER PERSON SHOULD BE ABLE TO SPEAK.
- ALEXIA HAD SOMETHING-- OKAY, THANK YOU, LADIES.
ALEXIA. - THANK YOU.
CAN I SAY SOMETHING? - YES.
- DO I HAVE PERMISSION TO SPEAK? - YES, YES, PLEASE SPEAK.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- I DIDN'T.
- HEY, ANDY-- - LET HER TALK.
LET HER TALK.
I NEED A BELL OR A HORN.
- CAN WE CHANGE OUR SEATS NOW, SO THAT I CAN TALK MAYBE?
- I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH YOU GUYS.
IT'S LIKE A [bleep] SHOW IN THERE.
- OH, I KNOW. IT IS, ISN'T IT?
I'M HUNGRY AND TIRED. I NEED A DRINK.
LET'S GO HAVE A DRINK.
- I LIKE THE PINK AND BABY BLUE.
- IT'S LOVELY.
- NO, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE DRINKS.
I CAN'T HAVE DRINKS RIGHT NOW.
IT'S NOT COFFEE TIME.
- THIS SEASON STARTED WITH THE FALLOUT
OF ADRIANA'S AND LEA'S SEVEN-YEAR FRIENDSHIP,
AFTER LEA DISCOVERED
THAT ADRIANA HAD BEEN SECRETLY MARRIED
FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS.
THEIR FEUD FUELED A FEROCIOUS FIRE
THAT BURNED ALL SEASON LONG.
- I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WHOLE ADRIANA STUFF,
THAT SHE'S BEEN LEGALLY MARRIED SINCE, WHAT, 2007, 2008.
- AN ARTICLE WAS RELEASED IN THE MIAMI HERALD,
SURPRISINGLY BY A JOURNALIST THAT IS SUPER CLOSE TO ME.
YOU PLANTED THE ARTICLE IN THE PAPER
BECAUSE YOU WERE UPSET WITH ME
BECAUSE I DIDN'T DEFEND YOU AGAINST ANA.
- WELL, IT WASN'T ME.
- I THOUGHT I HAD A SISTER IN YOU,
BUT WHAT I HAD AT THE END WAS A WICKED SISTER,
THAT ALL ALONG WAS PLANNING MY DEMISE.
- IT WAS REALLY JUST KIND OF THE ULTIMATE STORY
OF, YOU KNOW, MANIPULATION, LIES, AND BETRAYAL.
- BUT DIDN'T YOU SEE FREDERIC AROUND?
LIKE, HE WAS AROUND.
- I WAS PUTTING HER ON DATES WHEN SHE WAS FREDERIC,
WHILE THEY WERE MARRIED.
SHE TOLD ME THAT, "FREDERIC DOESN'T HAVE THE MEANS
TO SUPPORT MY LIFESTYLE, SO IT'S NOT GONNA LAST."
AND I FIXED HER UP ON DATES.
BUT ALL THE WHILE, THEY WERE ALREADY MARRIED.
- AFTER YOU GOT THE LICENSE, WERE YOU GOING ON DATES OR NOT?
- OF COURSE NOT. - OKAY.
- SHE'S SO SORDID AND DISGUSTING,
I JUST COULD, JUST, LIKE, LOOK AT HER AND SPIT ON HER FACE.
- YOU KNOW, YOU BOTH NEED TO BE HONEST
AND REALLY JUST TELL HER EVERYTHING
THAT YOU NEED TO TELL.
AND YOU DON'T NEED TO BRING UP THE PAST.
WE ALL KNOW THE PAST.
- I DO REGRET THE WAY THINGS HAPPENED BETWEEN US.
- I'M SORRY. - I GET IT.
- BUT AT THE SAME TIME, YOU TURNED ON ME.
- ONCE I SEE THAT THE CORE OF SOMEBODY,
AND THE ROOT OF WHO THEY ARE IS EVIL OR NEGATIVE,
I DON'T WANT IT IN MY LIFE.
- I PROMISE YOU, I'M SORRY.
HOW MUCH DOES IT TAKE FOR HER TO FORGIVE?
- THINGS ARE NEVER GONNA BE WHAT THEY WERE.
I DON'T TRUST HER,
AND I THINK, HONESTLY, THAT SHE'S ROTTEN TO THE CORE.
- WOW.
UM, SO A LOT OF QUESTIONS FOR BOTH OF YOU ON THIS.
AND THIS IS SERIOUS, BECAUSE THE TWO OF YOU HAVE A LONG HISTORY;
FRIENDS FOR HOW MANY YEARS?
- FIVE, SIX, SEVEN?
SINCE OUR KIDS WERE IN FIRST AND THIRD GRADE.
- OKAY.
CHELSEA, FROM BOSTON, SAID,
"ADRIANA, WHEN YOU WATCHED YOURSELF BACK THIS SEASON,
"AND YOU SAW JUST HOW MANY VERSIONS OF THE STORY
"YOU ACTUALLY TOLD,
DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE YOU LOOK LIKE A LIAR?"
- I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE THINK THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
THE WAY THINGS WERE SHOWN OR EXPLAINED,
IT DOES LOOK LIKE A LIE.
AND, IN EFFECT, A GUESS, LITERALLY, IT IS A LIE,
BUT IN MY HEART, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT WAS LIE,
AND I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO MALICIOUSLY HURT ANYBODY,
AND I'VE APOLOGIZED TO LEA MANY TIMES ABOUT IT ALREADY.
SO IF I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE ONE MORE TIME,
I'M SORRY, LEA, IF I HURT YOU.
I'M SORRY, ANDY, IF I HURT YOU OR BRAVO,
AND I'M SORRY TO THE VIEWERS OUT THERE,
IF THEY FELT LIKE I DECEIVED THEM.
- WHY WERE THERE SO MANY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE STORY?
WHAT WERE YOU PROTECTING?
- NO, YOU KNOW--THE VERSIONS OF THE STORY IS,
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
IT WAS A VERY TUMULTUOUS TIME,
AND THERE WERE SEVERAL THINGS HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE.
SO A LOT OF IT IS NOT LIKE A STRAIGHT LINE.
IT'S NOT BLACK AND WHITE.
YOU KNOW ONE DAY WE'RE UP AND ONE DAY WE'RE DOWN.
ONE DAY IT'S THIS REASON AND ONE DAY IT'S THAT REASON.
THAT DOESN'T MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS, I GET IT.
PEOPLE THINK I WAS LYING.
I APOLOGIZED ABOUT IT.
- LEA, YOU CALLED ADRIANA A CON ARTIST.
- MM-HMM.
- THAT'S A PRETTY BIG STATEMENT.
ASIDE FROM THE WEDDING,
WHICH SHE SAID THAT SHE WAS FIBBING ABOUT,
WHAT ELSE HAS SHE PULLED OFF?
- ON SEASON ONE,
WHEN ADRIANA WAS SITTING AT THE BAR AT MY HOME,
SHE DID THIS DRAMATIC THING ABOUT HOW HER HUSBAND LEFT HER
AND HE CHEATED ON HER AND SHE WAS A SINGLE MOTHER.
- I ANSWER, THE PHONE GOES,
"HI, IS THIS ADRIANA?"
I WAS, LIKE, YES.
"DO YOU NOW HERBERTO?" I SAID, "YES."
"ARE YOU HIS DAUGHTER?"
AND I'M, LIKE, "NO, I'M HIS WIFE."
"IMPOSSIBLE, I AM HIS WIFE."
- FAST FORWARD,
I FIND OUT THAT THEY HAD FILED FOR DIVORCE IN 2001,
AND THEY WERE DIVORCED IN 2003.
- OH, NO.
RIGHT THERE, YOU STOP RIGHT THERE.
YOU STOP RIGHT THERE ON YOUR LEA TRIAL BLACK, YOU KNOW, TRIAL.
RIGHT THERE, BECAUSE IF WE'RE GONNA SPEAK FACTS,
WE'RE GONNA SPEAK FACTS.
I DID DIVORCE HIM IN 2001.
AND I WANTED TO GO BACK TO MY COUNTRY.
I WENT BACK TO BRAZIL WITH MY FAMILY,
AND THEN IN 2004 I TOLD HIM,
I WANT TO GO TO MIAMI TO ATTEND LAW SCHOOL.
HE GOES, "OKAY, THAT'S FINE.
SO HE SAID--WHILE I WAS IN BRAZIL,
WE WERE LIVING AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.
- OKAY. - HE NEVER ONCE LEFT ME.
EVEN IF WE WERE DIVORCED,
YOU DON'T SPEAK ABOUT THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW.
SO THEN, ANDY, WHAT HAPPENED IS,
I MOVED TO MIAMI WITH HIM.
WE ESTABLISHED RESIDENCE ON FISHER ISLAND.
WE BOUGHT AN APARTMENT TOGETHER.
I ENROLLED MY SON IN SCHOOL, AND I WENT TO LAW SCHOOL AT U.M.
THAT'S HOW WE WERE LIVING, AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.
- SHE REINVENTS HISTORY THAT THEY WERE COMMON LAW MARRIED.
NOW, I COULD GO INTO A LOT OF DETAIL
THAT WOULD MAKE IT WORSE FOR HER,
BUT I'M TRYING TO JUST TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE TO.
SO IN 2008 SHE'S CRYING
THAT THE SON'S BEING KICKED OUT OF THE SCHOOL
BECAUSE SHE'S BEHIND ON A COUPLE OF YEARS OF TUITION.
SHE PAID PARTIAL TUITION ONCE THAT I KNOW OF.
AND SO I FEEL REALLY BAD.
AND I SAID, "YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA KEEP HIM IN SCHOOL
IF IT'S THE LAST THING THAT I DO."
- OH MY, GOD. HERE WE GO WITH THE LIES.
- SO I WROTE THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD,
WHO WILL VERIFY THE TRUTH OF WHAT HAPPENED,
AND I SAY, "LOOK, WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO KEEP HIM IN SCHOOL?"
AND THEY SAID, "THEY'RE NOT ALLOWING HIM HERE
ON A SCHOLARSHIP ANY MORE UNLESS WE RETIRE THE DEBT."
- HE NEVER HAD A SCHOLARSHIP.
- YOU PAID HER DEBT.
- I WRITE A CHECK FOR $15,000 TO THE SCHOOL.
- TO THE SCHOOL. NOT TO ME OR MY SON.
- WELL, THEN, SHE MADE A CHECK--
- I'M ASKING YOU, DID SHE BRING THE CHECK?
- WHERE'S THE CHECK? - I HAVE THE CHECK.
YOU WANT TO SEE IT? I HAVE IT.
- YES. - I LOVE EVIDENCE.
- SO I BRING OUT THE CHECK,
AND I GIVE IT TO THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD, AND I SAY,
"YOU KNOW WHAT, IF WE CAN GET ALL THE MONEY TOGETHER
"TO RETIRE THE DEBT, TO MAKE IT $350,000,
"WILL YOU GO GET A COMMITMENT FROM THE BOARD,
THAT HER CHILD CAN STAY IN SCHOOL?"
AND HE SAID," I THINK THAT'S DOABLE."
- IT WAS $350,000 TUITION FOR ONE STUDENT?
- NO, TO RETIRE THE DEBT OF THE SCHOOL
SO THEY WOULD TO CONTINUE TO ALLOW HIM THERE
ON A SCHOLARSHIP.
- SCHOLARSHIP STUDENTS.
OH, I GET IT. I GET IT.
- DEBT OF THE SCHOOL, NOT ADRIANA'S DEBT.
- IT WAS ALL DONE SO THAT HER SON COULD STAY IN SCHOOL.
- BUT NOT ONLY DID HER SON BENEFIT,
A LOT OF OTHER STUDENTS BENEFITTED.
- I WENT TO THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD AND THE FINANCE CHAIR
AND I SAID, "I ONLY CARE ABOUT ONE CHILD,
"MAKING SURE THAT IF I DO THIS,
THAT HE GETS TO STAY IN SCHOOL."
SO I WRITE A CHECK, DATED DECEMBER 8TH,
AND IT'S NOT DEPOSITED UNTIL JANUARY THE 9TH,
BECAUSE MY DEAL IS, IF YOU DON'T ALLOW HER SON AS A SCHOLARSHIP,
YOU DON'T GET TO CASH MY CHECK.
- BUT YOU DID A GREAT THING.
I MEAN, NOT ONLY ALEX BENEFITTED.
SO MANY STUDENTS BENEFITTED.
- 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 25--
THESE ARE DONATIONS I GOT, UP TO--
[indistinct chatter]
THE ONLY REASON THAT I WOULD GO TO THE TROUBLE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY
TO RAISE MONEY FOR A WEALTHY SCHOOL,
THE ONLY REASON, WAS TO KEEP HER SON IN IT,
BECAUSE I RAISED THE MONEY.
AND WAIT A MINUTE.
TALK ABOUT UNGRATEFUL.
YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
- YOU ARE THE MOST UNGRATEFUL PERSON I'VE EVER KNOWN.
- AND YOU ARE THE NASTIEST PERSON I'VE EVER KNOWN,
BECAUSE YOU GIVE AND THEN YOU TAKE IT BACK.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I DID, ADRIANA?
EIGHT YEARS AGO I GAVE ALL THIS MONEY
SO THAT EIGHT YEARS LATER
I COULD BE ON A SHOW AND BRAG ABOUT IT.
- [laughing]
- THIS ONLY CAME UP, ANDY,
BECAUSE SHE WAS AN UNGRATEFUL PERSON
TO HAVE HER LIFE BUILT ON A LIE.
- WHAT A PHILANTHROPIST PERSON YOU ARE.
YOU'RE SUCH A PHILANTHROPIST.
- OKAY, I ACTUALLY CRAZILY DON'T CARE ANY MORE ABOUT THIS TOPIC.
OKAY.
MARCY FROM ORLANDO SAID,
"ADRIANA, ISN'T IT DELUSIONAL TO SAY YOU'RE NOT MARRIED,
JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET A BEAUTIFUL PARTY AND CEREMONY?"
- WELL, PEOPLE ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN OPINION.
YOU KNOW, MY OPINION WAS, WHAT I DIDN'T FEEL.
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T FEEL I WAS MARRIED
BECAUSE FREDERIC, YOU KNOW, PRETTY MUCH, CALLED IT OFF.
SO IN MY HEART, I FELT LIKE HE LET ME DOWN.
- BUT YOU WERE LEGALLY MARRIED? - YES.
BUT THE FACT IS, THAT ALWAYS MY MAIN INTENTION
WAS TO PROTECT MY SON.
PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S INSIDE OF ME, OKAY?
SO I'M TELLING YOU WHAT'S INSIDE OF ME.
- WE DO NOW. THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
- ALTHOUGH, GREAT GRAY OVER THERE
THINKS SHE HAS A CRYSTAL BALL, YOU KNOW,
WHICH IS DOING BLACK MAGIC ON PEOPLE, BUT...
- RIGHT.
- OH, YEAH, THE LEA AND BLACK MAGIC.
I SEE THAT HAPPENING.
- OH, I HAVE THIS POWER!
- OKAY, I HAVE A QUESTION.
SO WERE YOU SETTING ADRIANA UP ON DATES
WHILE SHE WAS STILL MARRIED TO FREDERIC?
- YES. I WAS.
- YES, SHE DID. YOU KNOW WHY SHE DID?
SHE WAS TRYING TO SELL HER APARTMENT--
- OH, MY GOD, ANOTHER LIE.
- AND SHE BROUGHT THIS GUY FROM L.A.
AND TOLD HIM THAT IF HE BOUGHT THE APARTMENT,
YOU GOT THE GIRLFRIEND WITH THE APARTMENT.
- SHE SOLD YOU WITH THE APARTMENT?
- YES. YES. YES.
- COME ON. - YES.
- HOW MUCH WAS THE PRICE OF THE APARTMENT?
- $4 MILLION. - $4 MILLION?
ADRIANA, IF YOU CAME WITH AN APARTMENT FOR $4 MILLION,
I WOULD BUY IT IN A SECOND.
YOU'RE WORTH THE PRICE.
- LET ME TELL YOU WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.
- THAT'S A GOOD DEAL.
- THIS PARTICULAR GUY THAT I FIXED HER UP WITH
WAS BEFORE SHE WAS MARRIED.
NOW, WHY DO I THINK SHE WANTED TO BE FIXED UP ON DATES?
BECAUSE I THINK SHE FOUND OUT
THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE THE MEANS TO SUPPORT HER
IN WHICH THE WAY SHE WANTED TO BE SUPPORTED,
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SHE TOLD ME.
NOW I FIND OUT, AFTER I FIXED HER UP ON THE DATES,
ONE OF MY FRIENDS FLIES HER ON HIS PRIVATE PLANE TO HOUSTON,
ANOTHER VERY PROMINENT PERSON,
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I FEEL USED,
AND LIKE SOMEONE CONNED ME?
THIS IS WHY. THIS IS WHY.
- YOU FEEL USED? YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL USED, LEA?
BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS COUNT ON, YOU KNOW,
MATERIAL SUPERFICIAL THINGS.
- OKAY. - OKAY?
SO WHAT IF SOME GUY INVITED ME
TO HAVE DINNER WITH HIS DAUGHTER, YOU KNOW, ON A PLANE
TO GO TO MEXICO, WHATEVER, IN HOUSTON.
BIG DEAL. I NEVER EVEN KISSED THAT GUY.
- NO.
- WELL, I WANT TO GET TO YOUR BALLROOM PARTY.
- SHE SAID, "I'M GOING TO MEET THIS GUY FOR DINNER,
TELL FREDERIC I WAS WITH YOU,"
IS WHEN I SAID, "I'M OUT OF THIS.
I THOUGHT THAT WASN'T WORKING OUT WITH HIM."
- OH MY, GOD.
- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
COMING UP...
- I'M GONNA MOVE FORWARD THE BEST THAT I CAN,
BUT I CAN'T PRETEND THAT IT NEVER HAPPENED.
- HE'S NOT PROFESSIONAL.
PEOPLE THAT WORK HERE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
SO IF HE DOESN'T GO, I'M GOING.
- IT SEEMED LIKE AT YOUR BALLROOM UNVEILING,
ADRIANA REALLY APOLOGIZED TO YOU.
THE TWO OF YOU KIND OF CAME BACK TOGETHER,
AND THEN IN THE FINALE AT THE SPA,
IT SEEMED LIKE YOU HAD TURNED,
AND YOU WEREN'T GONNA LET HER IN.
WHAT HAPPENED?
- OKAY, WHEN WE GET TO THE SPA
AND SHE MAKES A SINCERE APOLOGY,
AND I REALLY FELT IT WAS SINCERE.
AND I WAS SINCERE WHEN I SAID,
"I'M GONNA MOVE FORWARD THE BEST THAT I CAN,
BUT I CAN'T PRETEND THAT IT NEVER HAPPENED."
AND THAT'S WHERE I AM TODAY.
I CAN'T PRETEND THAT IT NEVER HAPPENED.
I CAN'T PRETEND SHE DIDN'T LIE TO ME.
I CAN'T PRETEND SHE DIDN'T USE ME.
I CAN'T PRETEND SHE WAS UNGRATEFUL.
I CAN'T PRETEND THAT I PUT MY CREDIBILITY ON THE LINE
AND PUT DATES ON THE LINE AND PUT MONEY ON THE LINE.
- SO, THEN, WERE YOU INSINCERE IN YOUR APOLOGY?
WERE YOU INSINCERE IN YOUR FORGIVENESS WITH HER?
- I WAS QUALIFIED IN IT.
- YOU WERE QUALIFIED. - I WAS QUALIFIED.
- OKAY, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BREAK.
[indistinct chatter]
NO TALENT. NO MONEY.
25 YEARS. NO MONEY. NO TALENT.
- HE WAS, LIKE, STANDING THERE, WAITING FOR ME OR SOMETHING.
- HE'S A LOSER. HE'S A NOBODY.
AND HE'S LIKE A [bleep] HOBBIT.
HE'S LIKE A FREAKIN' INTERNET TROLL HOBBIT [bleep].
BECAUSE HIM AND JOANNA ARE OBVIOUSLY IN CAHOOTS,
AND THAT JUST PROVES IT TO ME,
THAT SHE'S OBVIOUSLY A LIAR.
THE TWO OF THEM ARE BEST FRIENDS,
AND SHE'S SAYING ALL THESE NASTY THINGS ABOUT ME,
THAT HE'S SAYING ALL THESE NASTY THINGS ABOUT ME
TO MY MAKEUP ARTIST.
HE'S DISGUSTING.
WHAT DID I EVER DO TO HIM? I WAS SO NICE TO HIM.
LIKE, "HEY, TONY, HOW ARE YOU?"
- THE ONLY THING YOU DID IS LOOK UGLY, ***,
SO SHUT YOUR UGLY MOUTH.
- I WILL NOT GO BACK IN THERE IF HE'S IN THE SAME ROOM,
SO YOU BETTER-- - OKAY.
- HE'S NOT PROFESSIONAL.
GET HIM OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.
- I UNDERSTAND.
- WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE
IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOURSELF.
- NO, HE CAN'T LEAVE, BECAUSE HE'S MY MAKEUP ARTIST,
SO THEN I'D LEAVE TOO.
- HE'S UNPROFESSIONAL.
PEOPLE THAT WORK HERE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
SO IF HE DOESN'T GO, I'M GOING.
- JUST GET IT DONE.
- LET'S GO, TONY.
- YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN TO ME RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T NEED SOME PIECE OF [bleep] LIKE THAT
TALKING DOWN TO ME.
WHO THE [bleep] IS HE?
CAN YOU GET THE CAMERAS OUT OF MY FACE RIGHT NOW?
- GUYS, ALL HAIR AND MAKEUP OFF SET.
WE'VE GOT TO START NOW.
- SHE LIED TO ME. THAT WAS A LIE.
TO MAKE OURSELVES LOOK GOOD.
- NEXT WEEK, THE REUNION CONTINUES.
- YOU WANT TO HIT BELOW THE BELT?
I WILL [bleep] HIT BELOW THE BELT.
- DON'T EVEN GO THERE.
- WELL PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE BEEN A ***.
- SHE'S SO DESPERATE FOR THE ATTENTION--
- YOU TRY TO PLAY THE ANGEL, I DON'T.
- YOU ARE AFFLICTED BY THREE OF THE MAJOR CAPITAL SINS:
WRATH, GREED, AND ENVY.
- YOU DON'T CARE WHO YOU CRUSH AND STEP ON
ON YOUR WAY TO THE TOP.
YOU NEVER REMEMBER ANYTHING, LEA.
EVERYBODY LIES; YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T.
- FOR MORE ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI, GO TO: