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What'd you say your name was again?
Ted Adams
I'm Martin Adams
We're both Adams
Weird
(music)
(voice over) Martin here is the infamous Cranky Critic
From the Village Voice
(voice over)
Your family lives upstate you work from home alone
And you haven't been in a relationship in like um
EVER!
Was it a mistake to break up with Julie
And move here?
(voice over) I get I get a little awkward sometimes and
I wish I was more assertive
And suave like you
Wow
That is
A good looking ***
Seems like we've seen Ted every night since we got married
It's been every night?
It sure has
It sure has
(laughs)
I don't have a problem with gay people
Aaaaahhhh!
Those stairs are a ***!
Hi it's Benny
Look I'm having a
Benny?
Relfex action
Yeah!
Yes
Ok
What's it like being gay
Like besides the persecution and media stereotypes?
You boys on a date?
Your dad's in town?
How did you and Ted become friends?
Oh we met in a men's room
What's abstract about a giant...?
It looks like a tree spewing colors
It looks like a *** spewing ***
I love that painting
Being a man is...
Hard
Look at that picture of *** over there
***?
How am I supposed to know that
It's not like they put it in her bio
You have any gay friends?
What?
Me? What?
(voice over) Stalagmite
Gay men and straight men can be friends
You know this right?