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Lady: Hello?
John: Yeah I'm calling about the Vietnamese switches.
Lady: The Vietnamese switches?
John: Switch board. Switchboard.
Lady: One second. John: Ok.
Guy: Yes sir.
John: Yeah I'm calling about the Vietnamese switches. You still got the switches, switchboard?
Guy: Switchboard? Yes sir.
John: How does that work? Is it like Morse Code?
Guy: Honestly I'm not sure. As the way it is now, I'm selling it as a prop.
John: As a profit?
Guy: As a prop.
John: Like a costume.
Guy: Cause I don't know how it works. I don't know...the only thing I know. I just know
what its from.
John: Yeah when I was in Vietnam, I used a switchboard. Uh...
Guy: Oh yes sir. Maybe you know how to work it. I know nothing about it. The only thing
I know is that it's from Vietnam War.
Guy: It's a switchboard. It actually has Vietnamese writing on that little dial.
John: Yeah.
Guy: It's beside the dial. It's more like a emblem that's engraved into the telephone.
John: Yeah, it probably says Nam.
Guy: Uhh, I'm not too sure what it says.
John: Yeah it does.
Guy: It's not in English writing.
John: When you turn it on...
Guy: And how would you turn it on?
John: Cause it, when you turn it on it goes DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT
John: It makes some kinda noise like that.
Guy: How would you turn it on?
John: How do you turn it on?
Guy: Cause there's no switch on it.
John: Yeah, the way we used to do it, we used to have ta...clap clap our hands.
Guy: there's another part that plugs into it, cause on the side of it...
John: We used a Kettle-Key. Yeah, there was a Kettle-Key that goes in it. And once you
turn the Kettle-Key on.
John: You clap your hands real loud and you rub 'em together and make a friction. Then
you lay your hand on the board.
John: And it lights up. Like it, rejuvi...it just sparks up the board.
Guy: Yes sir.
John: From the pictures, it looks like it has piston problems. Which means that it probably
needs a whole new Gadga-ma-***.
John: Which is the bottom section of it. Those are pretty handy...I can find 'em in thrift
shops usually.
John: Would you take $160, a handshake, a Whopper, and a friendship.
Guy: Uh, I think I have it advertised for $150.
John: I'm offering more cause it's worth at least $160. It's worth a handshake. We can
go to lunch, and talk about it. And we'll have a friendship out of it.
Guy: What do you do? You collect stuff like this?
John: ABSOLUTELY!...I do.
Guy: I have a friend whose selling his collection...
John: BARRK!
Guy: ...I have a shop in downtown Fresno, and in this shop...
John: RAAAR!
Guy: ...and I sell all kinds of stuff over there.
John: BRAAR!
Guy: ...and he came to me and just asked me to come to his house and check out what he
had. And he sold me this and told me about some other stuff. I got a dagger...
John: DAGGER
Guy: ...a Japanese dagger...
John: DAGGER
Guy: You still there?
John: Yeah.
Guy: ...Japanese dagger...
John: ***!
Guy: From World War 2
John: Ok.
Guy: Would you be able to tell me anything about it?
John: Yeah, can you uhm, do you have it on you? Is it in your hip? The dagger, is it
at least a foot long?
Guy: Uh, the dagger is probably at least, close to it.
John: That's what I thought. Does it come with a sheathssss?
Guy: No sheath. And it's actually the handle. The handle looks like iron. There's no handle.
John: There's no handle on it?
Guy: I don't know. I guess it, had like a leather handle on it?
John: No no no no no no no no no. No no no no no.
Guy: Well somebody put it there.
John: These handles...
Guy: ...somebody wrapped it around.
John: DAAARP!
John: These handles on these things were pig skin wrapped. They were wet when they put
it on. And then when it dried, the pig skin hardened like steel.
Guy: I had one like that before, with the pig skin.
John: That's, that's wonderful! Do you still have it in contact? Cause if you do, I'm excited.
Guy: No, yeah, that was sold. I put it on ebay and sold it for like $120.
John: $120?
Guy: Yes sir.
John: Oh man! What is your name?
Guy: I didn't know nothing about it. I got it for five bucks and didn't know what to
do with it.
John: Oh well, you, that means...
Guy: I put it on ebay cause I looked it up, and when I looked it up, I seen the same type
of thing that I was selling...I think it sold for $240.
Guy: So you know, I just put on there for like $120 and see what I get. And I got it.
John: Eric, let me tell you something. That knife, that knife is at least $1800 to $2000.
Guy: Yeah, but, Well the one I had...
John: DAAARP!!
Guy: ...the one I had, I don't think it was, the I don't think it was..but it was the pig
skin.
Guy: ...It was the pig skin, because I looked it up. And it had like a brown...it kinda
looked like blood Was on the side of it.
Guy: And it looked like brown, and a golden color. Like the color changed. Like the color
changed throught the whole, uh, where the handle was.
John: Yeah, so it still had the blood remains?
Guy: Well...
John: Kinda? Maybe not? Something like bacon?
John: This switchboard, is intriging me. I can't get my mind off of it.
John: The knife, we can re-wrap the knife. But they don't use pig skin no more. They
use possum tales.
Guy: uh huh.
John: Those are the best. Cause like, they are rounded. They are like...
Guy: You must live in the woods. You must live in the woods. Ha ha ha
John: The people who made these?
Guy: No no, you.
John: Oh. Oh I do live in the woods. I have an Igloo cooler, yeah, something like it.
It's crazy, I'll tell you about that later. Is it durable?
Guy: Uhm, do you have a need for the switchboard? I work tomorrow from...
John: DARP!
Guy: 10 to 4
John: ***, Eric. Is this switchboard durable? Like does it, crinkle. Is it like Pringles?
Guy: No no, it's solid wood man.
John: Ok and it's got Vietnamese writing on it?
Guy: only, the only place it has writing on it...
John: Not Vietnam writing.
Guy: You know how Army stuff is anything that has anything to do with all the major wars.
John: Ok.
Guy: you don't see any inscribing on it because they try to keep it confidential as possible.
John: Right.
Guy: The only thing that's on it is a logo on the telephone itself. And that logo on
the telephone is in Vietnamese writing.
John: Is it Vietnamese writing or Vietnam writing?
Guy: Ya know what, explain to me the difference.
John: Uh, Vietnamese Writing has uh...it starts off with a hook...like a hook? A letter that
goes upwards?
Guy: Oh lookylookylooky. Ya know what, you're right. It's actually, there is a hook looking...it's
got a lightning bolt in the middle.
John: That's exactly what I needed to know. It's a symbol vs. character. So the hook means
it Vietnamese. If it didn't have the hook then it's Vietnam writing. Which is like...
Guy: The one with the lightning bolt is what?
John: Lightning bolt is Vietnamese. Slang. Sorta like slang? Vietnam is like...
Guy: In the middle of it is an emblem. In the middle of the writing, cause there's writing
around it. In the middle of it there's a lightnignt bolt. And I would say like half...
John: That's not a lightning bolt, that's a uh, that's a 1920's or so saw. It's a saw
like they used in the war. Looks like teeth?
John: Looks like teeth? Jagged teeth?
Guy: Not really. No cause it goes straight. It's straight then it curves. It resembles
like a lightning bolt.
John: Oh! So it looks like a vein. Like a blood vein. So it looks like a lightning bolt.
Guy: I can send you a picture. Then ya know what, it says N H A M A Y and then it says
B...
John: Read them letters to me and I'll tell you what they mean step by step.
Guy: N H A
John: That's Naraguam. Hirashoshi. It's Hirashoshi. The last letters A?
Guy: No, B U U T I E N
John: Buutien? That's uh, that's Vietnamese for Archeology.
Guy: And then T R U T E N E H A N H
John: Try to say that?
Guy: Tru-enth?
John: Tru...tru...tru..en..
John: Yeah I think that's...that's um, I'm trying to think of my Vietnamese. That's Vietnamese
for...
John: The first word was Archeology, the Trien-amees-anasazaza means, uh, carpet.
John: So it's like, Archeology Carpet. It's just like slang for a layer of carpet over
a rock. I don't know what they are talking about.
John: Could you send a photo of the lightning bolt? Which I'm pretty sure looks like jagged
teeth. I don't know what you are looking at.
Guy: Ya know what? On the bottom of it, on the bottom of the lightning bolt I would say
jagged teeth.
John: Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about here, Eric. Can you....
Guy: Honestly the lightning bolt itself looks like a lightning bolt.
John: Yeah...you have a uhm, a gem.
Guy: Yeah Well I kinda knew that when I bought it because I did my research before I bought
it. But he's a cool guy.
John: Of course you did.
Guy: ...I mean uh it was...
John: Why wouldn't you.
Guy: ...pretty much payed about almost close to what I sell it for. (?)
John: Yeah. I mean that makes sense. Write my number down, I want you to send me a picture
of this jagged tooth lightning bolt blood vein. Do you have a Sharpee or pen?
Guy: I've got a Sharpee.
John: Ok.
Guy: First name?
John: Uhhh John.
Guy: I'll go ahead and send the pictures.
John: Send that picture to me and if you think about it, I'm excited about the handshake.
I'm excited about the Whopper, and I'm excited about our friendship. I know you think...
Guy: I don't know about the Whopper because I don't really have time to get out but...
John: WHAT?
Guy: ...but with the time I do get, this is what I can do. Like I said, I work in downtown...
John: WHAT?
Guy: ...I'm there from 9 to 4.
John: 9 to 4!
Guy: 9 to 4, Monday through Friday.
John: Oh man, that's a shame, why do you work so hard?
Guy: I got to man, gotta just, life don't support itself.
John: Well, you could always, rob a bank?
Guy: Ha ha ha, and spend the rest of my life in prison? That's not too smart.
John: I know, it's like...3 hots and a cot!
Guy: I'm tellin' you.
John: Just uh...
Guy: If we all did that we'd be, ya know, ***. Just like the rest of 'em.
John: In Canada, eh?
Guy: Well, either that or holding each others butts. Ha ha ha
John: Yeah, no we don't want that. No soap squatters. Well...
Guy: I'm gonna go ahead and send you those pictures now.
John: That would be faaaantastic.
Guy: Alright brother.
John: I look forward to it. Alrighty.
Guy: Bye.
John: Bye bye. Miss you.
John: Do what nobody cares. Dun dun dun dun. Come on everybody lets go underwear!
John: Da nuh nuh da nuh nuh I want to be a bass player, can you teach?
John: Da na nuh nuh nuh nuh Come on to Virginia, we can go to the beach!
John: Na nu nuh nuh, Da na nuh nuh nuh nuh, Da na nuh nuh nuh nuh!
John: Darpapadaraadarpa!