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Hi! Welcome to The Silver Spleen. My name is Sir Edmund Hillary.
And this is my review of PASSION ISLAND. Some people say that it's wrong to
dismiss films that you haven't seen yet.
I can empathize, because I always felt it was wrong to say that a drug
was harmful if you hadn't done it. Drugs are bad,
trust me on this one. But if you ever wanted to know what it's like to be
completely twisted on psychedelic drugs, watch PASSION ISLAND.
The movie is a story, I think, of three
odd couples on a remote island. I think it's really the story of a bunch of
actors who all signed on to do a movie just because they would get to spend a
coupla weeks on a tropical island somewhere, but
that's what it feels like anyway. Simon Yam and Joan Chen play a
separated husband and wife. Simon is a Kurtzian (look it up)
figure, the self-appointed king and curator of Passion Island
the home of Passion Weed. His estranged wife
(and boy is she estranged) is an animal rights lover
who talks to whales and little fat kids. See?
She sure that Passion Weed is making sea life go insane.
Any woman who dresses like this knows about insanity.
Simon Yam spends a lot of time in a hot air balloon, wearing a bathrobe and
very tight underpants. Francis Ng and
Xiao Song Jia play a married couple. Weed makes you stupid.
They've come to Passion Island to see if the mythical Passion Weed
can cure her paralysis. Chang Chen and Janice Man play two people who are
supposed to help this film appeal
to the teenage demographic. Yes, Chang Chen has
'this is art' tattooed over one eye. Janice hopes that Passion Weed can cure her
severe autism so she won't have to wear a helmet
all the time to prevent her from injuring herself. Okay I lied, but believe
me, that wouldn't seem out of place in this movie.
You can't escape the sense that director Kam Kwok Leung was really trying his best
to make an artsy film. Because being Mickey Rourke's stunt double wasn't making
the nut.
This film is very obviously guilty of attempted art.
There's a lot of dialogue, and little to none of it advances the story or
makes any kind of Godd@mn sense. Now, to go back to a point that I made
eons ago about Passion Island showing you what it's like to be a dope fiend,
I have a PhD, and I'm not saying that to be funny, I really do, you can look it up
on the Internet. But I still couldn't make sense
of the story in this movie... if indeed there was one. Either during the movie or
even thinking about it afterwards.
It literally makes no sense, to the point that at times, I was sitting in the
cinema, just
lookin' at the screen, goin' "What the f@#$ is this?!?" This is the way your brain functions
under the influence of psychedelic drugs. Your attention span and your faculties
become absolutely locked
into the moment, and whatever is happening right in front of you
is all there is.
It has no connection to what happened before or what's going to happen afterwards.
In the third act there's a whale. Actually there's two whales. One is
plastic,
and the other is CGI, but as far as I know they're the same whale character.
There's also a female character who shows up in the movie without being
introduced or explained.
And while the look on Janice's face might lead one to believe that Passion Island
was just slightly to the west of the Isle of ***,
unfortunately this was not to be the case. Thought this was an art movie!
Neither was there any rationale or explanation or even a
weed-redolent hint as to this random ***'s
reason for being here. "No, really, God, who the f@#$ is this?"
But there's some interesting things in this movie. There's a video library with
more copies of *** BY AN ANGEL 3 than even I own.
You know, oddly enough, I really enjoyed this movie, although for all the wrong
reasons.
It's so mind-bogglingly inept and so weird that
I ended up just laughing my b@lls off through the entire film. I can't
believe I'm going to say this, but
you should watch this movie. It's such a mess that you'll be wondering
why on earth this cast is in it. "What the f@#$ am I doing in this movie?"
That is when you're not busy wondering what the f@#$ is going on.
Like I said you should watch this movie, but I want you to do it by buying a disc.
In the description, there are links. Buy this movie, watch it,
enjoy it. Don't download movies. It stinks! Pay for movies.
Even movies like this. Something tells me you can get this one cheap. If you enjoyed
my review, please leave me a comment.
If you didn't enjoy it, leave me a comment anyway. Please think about
subscribing if you enjoy the reviews.
Thank you.
...but nobody ever explains anything in this movie!