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(Samantha) SOMETIMES TAKING THINGS YOU LIKE
AND MIXING THEM TOGETHER
CAN MAKE ANOTHER THING YOU LIKE EVEN MORE.
TODD. TODD!
(turns off blender)
WHAT ARE--WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT GRANOLA BOY'S HOUSE.
UNLESS IT'S MIXING YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND
BECAUSE GRANOLA BOY CALLED,
AND THEY'VE GOT SOME FRESH GRANOLA IN.
WOW. THIS IS AWESOME. I MEAN, IT'S, UH, AWKWARD.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID "AWESOME," 'CAUSE IT'S NOT.
MOSTLY BECAUSE HE'S WEARING MY SHIRT.
YEAH.
I'LL, UH, GO CHANGE.
GOOD PLAN.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT WENT REALLY WELL, HUH?
NO. BUT I'M GLAD, BECAUSE NOW YOU OWE ME A FAVOR.
MY MOM'S COMING IN FROM CANADA FOR THE WEEK.
YEAH. WHY?
IT'S JUST NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU EVER... TALK ABOOT.
(chuckles)
ANYWAY, LOOK, SHE KNOWS WE BROKE UP.
WHAT SHE DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT I LIVE ON YOUR COUCH
AND THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND WEARS MY SHIRTS.
YES.
OKAY. WELL, WHAT SHOULD I-- SHOULD I COME BY
AND SAY HI TO HER? OR LET ME GUESS. SHE HATES ME.
OH, SHE MIGHT, IF SHE EVER MET YOU.
YOU SAID YOU NEVER MIXED BOYFRIENDS AND PARENTS.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I MEAN, I OBVIOUSLY INTRODUCED YOU TO MY PARENTS.
WELL... SORT OF.
OH, I CAN'T DO THIS. I CAN'T DO THIS.
OH, WHAT IS WRONG?
IT'S JUST-- BEING IN YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE...
THEY'RE IN MYRTLE BEACH.
YOU KNOW, IT'S YOUR CHILDHOOD ROOM.
I-I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT IN FRONT OF THIS MANY UNICORNS.
WELL, UNLESS YOU WANT TO DO IT
IN FRONT OF THE GUYS REFLOORING MY APARTMENT,
OKAY.
HEY, SAMMY, I SAW YOUR CAR IN THE DRIVEWAY.
(gasps) OH, MY GOD!
HEY, DADDY. YOU GUYS BRING ME ANYTHING?
IT'S OKAY. YOU CAN HAVE THE APARTMENT.
I'LL... GO STAY AT MY...
PARENTS' HOOSE.
(giggles)
♪♪♪
WHY WOULD YOU INVITE YOUR BOYFRIEND TO MEET YOUR PARENTS?
SERIOUSLY, YOU NEED A HANDLER. YOU CANNOT BE LEFT ALONE.
I DON'T WANT THINGS IN MY LIFE TO BE SEPARATE.
YOU KNOW, I LIKE EVERYTHING INDIVIDUALLY,
YOU LIKE YOUR RED WINE, RIGHT?
YOU LIKE MARTINIS?
OH, YEAH. ENJOY.
THANK YOU. I WILL.
I...
MMM! MMM! MMM!
I'D JUST BE HAPPY TO MIX WITH MY OWN BOYFRIEND,
BUT CHASE IS ALWAYS BUSY. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET HIM
TO GO SEE THAT MOVIE "AUSTRALIA" WITH ME.
I MEAN, I EVEN TOLD HIM,
IT'S A BIG ROMANCE STARRING HUGH JACKMAN.
HE USED TO WANT TO SPEND EVERY SECOND WITH ME.
I SEE HIM EVERY DAY. BELIEVE ME. YOU'RE NOT MISSING ANYTHING.
(gasps) HEY.
YES. THAT'S AN IDEA.
IF I WANT TO SEE HIM, GO TO HIS WORK.
UH, WHICH IS ALSO MY WORK, SO NO.
I'M TELLING YOU, DO NOT MIX PARTS OF YOUR LIFE.
I THINK YOU ARE WRONG. AND OWEN IS AMAZING,
AND I CANNOT WAIT FOR MY PARENTS TO GET TO KNOW HIM.
OKAY, WELL, HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THIS?
WHEN YOUR PARENTS GET TO KNOW OWEN,
OWEN WILL GET TO KNOW YOUR PARENTS.
MM-HMM.
♪♪♪
OKAY, SO I'M GONNA PUT THESE FLUORESCENT BULBS
IN ALL OF THE LAMPS.
DAD, YOU PUT OUT THE RECYCLED TOILET PAPER.
OH, AND NO JOKES ABOUT HOW YOU CAN SEE STUFF IN IT.
OH, AND, MOTHER, I MADE UP THESE CARDS
THAT I THOUGHT MIGHT COME IN HANDY.
IS IT A PARTY GAME? I LOVE PARTY GAMES. WHAT'S IT CALLED?
OH, HOW LUCKY WERE YOU TO FIND THAT ONE?
"HAS HE EVER BEEN MARRIED?" MM.
"IS HE MARRIED NOW? DOES HE HAVE CHILDREN?
"CAN HE HAVE CHILDREN?
"YOUR SEX LIFE.
OUR SEX LIFE." HOWARD, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
OUR DAUGHTER IS EMBARRASSED BY US.
US? SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY CARDS.
OH, I CAN'T TELL THE CONSTIPATED PARROT JOKE?
NO. PLEASE.
BECAUSE SMITTY AND RENO DOWN AT THE CHICKEN FARM LOVED IT,
DADDY, FOR ME?
OKAY. BUT YOU DO REALIZE THAT HE HASN'T GONE FOR DAYS.
NO, I KNOW IT.
ALL RI--ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I WAS ONCE TOLD
I WAS A "BEWITCHING" CONVERSATIONALIST.
WHY AM I BEING SINGLED OUT? I MEAN, I'VE ALREADY MET OWEN.
YES, AND PRETENDED TO BE MY SISTER.
(whispers) FINE. FINE.
(normal voice) I WON'T SPEAK. I'LL JUST COOK AND BUS TABLES.
YES, BUT WE THINK OF YOU
AS ALMOST A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.
WELL DONE, SIR.
I'M SORRY?
YOUR MOTHER, "WHO IS COMING TO STAY,"
SO MISS NEWLY WOULD CLEAR OUT?
EXCELLENT STORY. WELL PLAYED.
UH, NO, NO, NO. MY MOM REALLY WAS COMING, BUT SHE CANCELED.
IF I MAY...
RARELY DOES THE UNIVERSE OFFER YOU A WEEKEND TO YOURSELF...
AND THE MADDEN FOOTBALL GAME YOU ORDERED.
SPEAKING AS ONE WHOSE IN-LAWS ARE
IN THE SECOND WEEK OF THEIR VISIT,
IGNORING SUCH A CONVERGENCE
SEEMS LIKE A SLAP TO GOD'S FACE.
LET'S GO.
OKAY, SO WE'RE NOT LEAVING UNTIL WE'RE DONE.
FIRST UP IS PERMITS. ANDREA.
REALLY? IS SHE GONNA BE IN THE MEETINGS NOW?
OH. JUST IGNORE ME. I'M NOT EVEN HERE.
SHE'S NOT EVEN HERE. SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THOSE PERMITS?
YES, SIR. WE'RE STILL WAITING FOR THE CITY--
I'M SORRY, JERRI. WAITING? SO NOW WAITING IS DOING?
IS THAT IT? OH, WAIT. I SEE THE SIMILARITIES.
I SEE THEM. THEY'RE BOTH PARTICIPLES, RIGHT?
THEY'RE BOTH ACTION WORDS, LIKE "GROVELING, PACKING, FIRING."
(giggling)
OH. I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE LIKE...
(growls, deep voice) I'M A BEAR.
A CUTE LITTLE BABY BEAR, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.
OKAY. OKAY. DENA? DENA?
HMM. YEAH?
OH. OH. OOH!
(laughs) KICKED OUT OF THE BEAR CAVE.
OH! (giggles)
(whispers) CALL ME.
(snickers)
YOU KNOW, OWEN, I WAS AN ENVIRONMENTALIST
BEFORE IT BECAME A FAD.
AND IF I'D EVER GOTTEN THESE TWO TO TURN OFF A LIGHT
WHEN THEY LEFT A ROOM, I'D BE A RICH MAN MYSELF.
I NEVER SAID THAT YOU WERE RICH.
OH, IT'S OKAY. I AM.
(laughs) SAMANTHA, UH, WOULD YOU PASS THE POTATOES TO OWEN?
AND, UH, HOWARD, WOULD YOU LIKE TO ASK OUR GUEST
OKAY, OWEN, UM,
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE REGINA'S CHICKEN SALAD.
OH, THANK YOU.
IT LOOKS FANTASTIC, BUT, UH, I DON'T EAT CHICKEN.
PARDON ME?
OH, BUT IT'S OKAY. I MEAN, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
I HAVE PLENTY OF POTATOES HERE.
DADDY.
NO.
OH. OKAY.
OKAY.
JUST THE INDUSTRY THAT FARMS IT.
(loud clatter)
WHICH... I NOW UNDERSTAND MEANS YOU.
ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO WE GOT?
CHICKEN STOCK.
YAMS. WE HAVE YAMS!
UH, REALLY, I'M FINE.
WELL, I GUESS YOU GAVE YOUR LITTLE TOPIC CARDS
TO THE WRONG PARENT.
MOTHER, I TOLD YOU HE WAS A VEGETARIAN.
WHICH IS WHY I MADE A SALAD.
WITH CHICKEN.
BUT CHICKEN SALAD.
CHICKEN.
SALAD.
YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY. I-I CAN PICK AROUND IT.
SO IS THIS A HUMANE THING?
BECAUSE WE HAVE FREE-RANGE CHICKENS ONLY.
UH, IT'S MORE OF AN ENVIRONMENTAL CONCERN.
FACTORY FARMING USES
OH, HERE WE GO, THE PART WHERE
I'M PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR "GLOBAL WARMING."
DADDY, IT'S-- IT'S NOT "GLOBAL WARMING."
OKAY? IT'S VERY REAL.
UM, OWEN AND I ACTUALLY WENT
TO A LECTURE ABOUT IT LAST WEEK, AN INCREDIBLY INFORMATIVE--
AND MAYBE ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF TOO LONG--LECTURE.
AND NOW I GET ONE IN THE PRIVACY OF MY OWN HOME.
DADDY, THIS IS WHAT OWEN DOES FOR A LIVING.
AND I'M KILLING IT, RIGHT?
AND MY LITTLE HOBBY PROVIDES FOOD, JOBS,
A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD.
AND LET ME REMIND YOU, CHICKENS BUILT THIS HOUSE.
(laughs) REALLY? I'D LOVE TO SEE PICTURES OF THAT.
OH, LOOK!
BEETS. (singsongy) NATURE'S CANDY.
NO. I'M--I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO CAUSE PROBLEMS.
NO.
MAYBE WE CAN DO THIS SOME OTHER TIME.
YEAH, BUT YOU'RE GONNA MISS DESSERT.
DADDY, STOP IT!
NO, NO. I'M COMING WITH YOU.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR, MISSY, DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK.
UH, THANK YOU FOR A LOVELY EVENING.
CREAMED CORN?
PANDA?
HE RODE HIS BIKE.
LAST NIGHT WAS A COMPLETE AND UTTER DISASTER.
I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SAM. I DO.
BUT THE LESSON WE CAN ALL TAKE FROM THIS IS I WAS RIGHT.
YES, YOU WERE RIGHT. NEVER MIX.
YOU GUYS WERE TALKING ABOUT CHICKEN
AND ENDED UP WITH A BEEF.
A BEEF. (laughs) RIGHT?
I MEAN, I-I WAS JUST DEFENDING MY BOYFRIEND.
IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS ATTACKING MY FATHER AND WHAT HE DOES.
WELL, A GUY LIKE YOUR DAD IS WHAT HE DOES.
YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO? I HAVE TO GO DOWN THERE,
I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE AND I HAVE TO SEE WHAT IT IS THAT HE DOES.
NO, DON'T. BECAUSE I SPENT ONE DAY AT CHASE'S OFFICE,
AND IT RUINED HIM. IT WAS HORRIBLE.
MEANING?
YES, I WAS RIGHT. I'M HAVING A GREAT DAY.
LOOK, CHAPMAN WILL BE FINE.
HE JUST NEEDS TO HUMILIATE SOMEBODY IN PUBLIC,
AND HE'LL BE BACK TO NORMAL.
YES. ANDREA, PLEASE DO IT.
JUST PRETEND TO LET CHASE TAKE YOU DOWN.
AND WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?
DEAL.
YOU KNOW WHO I BLAME FOR ALL OF THIS? TODD'S MOTHER.
I HOPE SHE'S ENJOYING HERSELF.
NO, NO, NO. THAT'S INTERFERENCE.
YEAH, SWITCH CONTROLLERS WITH ME.
(crowd cheering)
(chickens clucking in distance)
WOULD THE WORLD'S GREATEST DAD LIKE A MUG FOR HIS COFFEE?
WELL, IF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ME, I LIKE STYROFOAM CUPS,
SO WHEN THEY GET DUMPED INTO THE OCEAN, I GET TO CLOG UP
ACTUALLY, THE THING ABOUT STYROFOAM
IS THAT THE DANGER OF IT IS THAT IT HAS THESE CHEMICALS
THAT ARE RELEASED WHEN IT-- I'M SORRY.
IT WAS A VERY INFORMATIVE LECTURE.
THANKS.
DADDY, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN OWEN'S SIDE
WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHAT YOU DO
OR EVEN TAKING THE TIME TO FIND OUT.
(whispers) I'M SORRY.
YEAH, WELL, YOU'VE BEEN BUSY.
YOU KNOW, YOU HAD THAT WHOLE COMA THING GOING ON,
YOU KNOW, THIS AND THAT.
SO... THIS IS WHERE IT HAPPENS, HUH?
YEAH, THIS IS IT. YOU LOVED COMING HERE WHEN YOU WERE A KID.
YOU USED TO SIT AT THIS DESK
AND PLAY WITH THE STAPLER,
BE THE BOSS LIKE YOUR OLD MAN.
WILL YOU SHOW ME?
OH, YOU JUST TAKE IT AND JUST KIND OF GO LIKE THIS...
(deep voice) "HEY. I'M THE BOSS."
NO. WILL YOU SHOW ME WHAT YOU DO?
OH. NO.
YOU'RE JUST BEING POLITE. IT'S--HEY, IT'S OKAY.
(deep voice) PLEASE CAN I HAVE A TOUR?
OKAY. SURE. WHY NOT?
YAY!
YEAH.
SO YOU DON'T GET BLOOD ON THOSE NICE SHOES
AND MAYBE A SHOWER CAP.
(mouths words)
SO WE'RE PROJECTING REVENUES ESCALATING IN THAT MARKET,
SO I'M GONNA NEED--
(indistinct conversations)
PEOPLE.
UH...
AHEM. ANDREA.
(mouths words)
OH.
(loudly) YES, MR, CHAPMAN?
ANDREA, IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION
THAT YOU HAVE MADE SOME SORT OF MISTAKE.
APOLOGIZE.
YES. I'VE MADE A--
STAND UP.
I DID MAKE A MISTAKE.
I MESSED UP BAD.
AND I FEEL I NEED SOME SORT OF SLAP ON THE WRIST
TO SHOW ME WHO'S THE BOSS.
UM, WHAT I--
I SAID EVERYTHING THAT WE AGREED--
GET UP.
I'M SORRY, MR. CHAPMAN.
AND I PROMISE THIS IS THE VERY LAST APOLOGY
THAT YOU WILL EVER NEED. YOU GOT IT?
I'M NEVER DOING THAT. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT.
OKAY, APOLOGIES ACCEPTED.
I'M NOT APOLOGIZING. YOU APOLOGIZE.
IF YOU HAD GONE TO ONE STUPID MOVIE WITH HER
INSTEAD OF IGNORING HER,
THEN SHE WOULDN'T HAVE DRAGGED YOUR LIFE INTO MY LIFE.
(door closes)
OKAY, DOUBLE BONUSES IF NO ONE EVER MENTIONS BABY BEAR AGAIN.
OKAY? GOOD MEETING.
WE'RE HOME.
OH! YOU'RE BACK.
I'M SO GLAD YOU TWO MADE UP. SO WHERE'D YOU GO?
CHICKENS.
WE WENT TO THE--THE FARM WITH THE CHICKENS.
OH, MY GOD. THE CHICKENS.
WELL, SHE WANTED TO SEE WHAT HER OLD MAN DOES.
AND NOW I KNOW. (chuckles) AND I'LL NEVER FORGET.
MM-HMM. OH, I LOVED IT. I LOVED IT.
I'D LOVE TO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT, BUT I JUST CAN'T.
I GOT A TAPE I WANTED TO SHOW YA.
(whimpers) OH.
UH, THEY HAVE HOSES...
I--
I KNOW.
AMD THAT'S WHERE THEY GET THE CUTLETS.
IT IS. I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT.
SAMMY?
WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, I HAD A DREAM,
AND I WAS GONNA WAIT UNTIL I WAS DEAD TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT,
BUT SEEING HOW MUCH YOU LOVED IT THERE TODAY, I...
(VCR whirs)
(Regina) COME ON, SAMANTHA. DO IT AGAIN.
DO IT FOR MOMMY. OH, HOWARD! LOOK, SHE'S TAKING HER FIRST--
UH, TESTING, TESTING.
OKAY, UM, I JUST SAW "TERMS OF ENDEARMENT." PHEW.
AND, UH, SO I THINK THAT IT'S IMPORTANT FOR ME TO SAY
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO EVERYTHING AFTER I DIE.
UM, REGINA, I LOVE YOU.
(Regina) HOWARD, ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?
DON'T YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO WATCH
O-OKAY, ANYWAY, UM, EVERYTHING THAT IS,
EXCEPT FOR THE CHICKEN FARM, AND THAT GOES
TO MY BEST LITTLE GIRL SAMMY, LIKE SHE ALWAYS WANTED.
HOWARD, YOU LEFT NOTHING TO YOUR MOTHER.
OH, PLEASE SEND HER A COPY OF THIS.
I'M NOT GONNA WAIT TILL YOU'RE DEAD TO SEE HER REACTION.
SO, SAMMY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I THINK... I THINK I'M A CHICKEN FARMER.
YEAH.
(mouths word)
(chuckles nervously)
(whispers) HELP ME.
WHAT IS IT? I'M--I'M--I'M A CHICKEN FARMER.
OH, THAT. HONEY, RELAX.
I HAVE PROMISED YOUR FATHER LOTS OF THINGS AFTER HE'S DEAD.
JUST SAY "THANK YOU," AND THEN WHEN HE'S GONE,
YOU SELL THE BUSINESS AND YOU GO ON MY TRIP WITH ME TO HONG KONG.
WELL, YOUR FATHER WON'T GO TO CHINA.
IRONICALLY, BY THE TIME I GET THERE,
HE'LL BE 6 FEET CLOSER THAN ME. (snickers)
(chuckles nervously)
HEY, DAD.
YEAH.
I'VE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME TO GIVE YOU THIS.
THE GUYS DOWN AT THE FARM GAVE IT TO ME
FOR MY 20th YEAR IN THE BUSINESS. YEAH.
OH, YEAH.
LOOK AT THAT--OH.
"THE CLUCK STOPS HERE."
SMITTY CAME UP WITH THAT.
AND Y-YOU'LL GET A CHANCE TO MEET HIM
WHEN YOU HANG THAT OVER YOUR DESK TOMORROW.
TOMORROW? NO. N-NOT UNTIL YOU DIE.
YOU GOTTA DIE FIRST, SILLY.
WELL, YOU NEED TO LEARN THE BUSINESS.
YOU KNOW, RIGHT AFTER MY DEATH,
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE IN A VERY GOOD HEADSPACE.
YOU KNOW, VIKING FUNERALS ARE
VERY POWERFUL, UNSETTLING THINGS.
(romantic music playing)
(Chase whispering) DENA.
DENA.
DENA.
D--
(normal voice) EXCUSE ME. STOP. MOVE. MOVE. THANK YOU.
SO YOU THINK I'M IGNORING YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? DON'T YOU HAVE TO WORK?
NO, I FORWARDED ALL MY CALLS.
WELL, YEAH, I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M A PRIORITY ANYMORE.
I MISS THE HONEYMOON PHASE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.
OH.
I HATED THE HONEYMOON PHASE.
I COULDN'T WAIT FOR THE HONEYMOON PHASE TO BE OVER.
NO. I--
YOU SHH!
LOOK, THIS PART WE'RE IN NOW, DENA,
IT'S...
THIS PART IS REAL.
I'M NOT A GOOPY GUY.
I'M A BOTTOM LINE GUY.
I'M A... LIKE THAT GUY.
WHAT IS HE, LIKE A TYCOON?
HE'S A STOCKMAN. I MEAN, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T MATTER.
IT DOESN'T MATTER. THE POINT IS, I WASN'T NEGLECTING YOU.
I WAS TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED.
AND I HAVEN'T BEEN... COMFORTABLE ENOUGH
TO DO THAT WITH ANYONE IN YEARS.
(romantic music continues playing, thunder rumbling)
REALLY?
HMM?
(gasps) HEY!
NO, COME IN. WAIT, WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NO, COME BACK!
THAT'S SO ROMANTIC, YOU COMING THROUGH MY BEDROOM WINDOW.
UH, THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC.
THIS IS ME BEING SCARED OF YOUR DAD.
THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS THAT I CAN BE AFRAID OF IN THIS HOUSE.
HMM? OH. RIGHT. I--YEAH, I WAS JUST, UM...
JUST DOING MY NAILS. IT'S FINE.
HEY. CAREFUL.
OKAY?
AAH.
HI.
OH.
MM.
BUT I GOT ALL COMPETITIVE AND EVERYTHING,
I KNOW YOU'RE STRONG.
WELL, I KIND OF HAVE TO.
IT POWERS MY ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH.
MM. MM.
(giggles)
HEY, SAMMY, I WAS THINK-- OH, MY GOD.
DON'T YOU USE MY FIRST NAME. IT'S "MR. NEWLY" TO YOU.
DADDY, PLEASE.
SO WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, HUH?
YOU'RE GONNA STEAL OUR LITTLE GIRL AWAY?
WELL, THINK AGAIN. SAM, DID YOU TELL HIM THE NEWS?
SHE'S TAKING OVER MY CHICKEN FARM.
STARTING IMMEDIATELY.
YOU ARE?
WHAT, A CHICKEN FARM?
DAD, STOP IT, PLEASE. (sighs) NO, I'M NOT, DADDY.
I'M SORRY.
I-I JUST CAN'T.
SO YOU'RE, UH...
YOU'RE CHOOSING HIM?
NO.
I-I GOT IT.
DADDY, I'M...
OKAY, I'LL GO.
RIGHT. RIGHT. UM, I'LL CALL YOU.
DADDY...
I WAS NOT CHOOSING OWEN OVER YOU.
OKAY?
WELL, YOU DON'T WANT TO RUN THE FAMILY BUSINESS, FINE.
THAT'S NO--NO PROBLEM.
I'M SORRY. I LOVE YOU, BUT I JUST COULD NOT DO WHAT YOU DO.
YEAH, BECAUSE YOU DON'T APPROVE.
NO. NO. BECAUSE I COULDN'T DO IT,
WHICH IS WHY IT'S GOOD THAT YOU DO.
LOOK, LOTS OF US-- WE EAT CHICKEN AND HAMBURGERS,
AND WE DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT HOW WE GET IT,
BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU PROTECT US FROM HAVING TO,
LIKE A DAD.
YOU KNOW, I KNEW THE FARM WASN'T RIGHT FOR YOU.
BUT WHEN YOU DROPPED BY THE OFFICE,
IT WAS LIKE YOU WERE MY LITTLE GIRL AGAIN,
DAD, YOU STILL ARE.
NAH. YOU GOT A GREAT GUY NOW, AND HE IS. HE'S GREAT.
I JUST DON'T THINK I... HANDLED IT WELL.
WELL, THE REASON I CAN PICK A GREAT GUY IS
BECAUSE I HAVE A FANTASTIC ONE FOR A DAD.
(chuckles)
NOW HAMBURGER PRODUCTION-- BOY, OH, BOY.
Y-YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT NIGHTMARES, I MEAN THESE--
SHH!
(whirring)
ERNEST HEMINGWAY ONCE SAID THAT LIFE IS A "MOVEABLE FEAST."
I THINK WHAT HE MEANT IS
THAT THERE'S AN INSTINCTIVE HUMAN DESIRE
TO MIX THE INGREDIENTS OF OUR LIVES...
PREPARING A FAR RICHER MEAL
THAN IF THOSE INGREDIENTS HAD NEVER COME TOGETHER.
SO THIS PARROT WALKS INTO A TACO STAND--
OH, NO. HOWARD, NO. YOU'RE NOT TELLING THAT JOKE.