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[thunder crackling]
Captioned by SpongeSebastian
-(Snapefruit) Well, well, well,
if it isn't Orange Potter.
-Well, well, well, if it isn't Snapefruit. [laughs]
-I see you brought along your meddlesome cohorts,
Pear Weasley and Passiony Granger.
-Meddlesome?
-Cohorts?
-Hey! Hey, Professor Snapefruit!
-What?
-You're an apple. [laughs]
-I most certainly am not an apple.
-Yuh-uh, apple cadabra!
[poof!] Hey Snapefruit, are you embarrassed,
'cause you're looking a little red.
[laughter]
-[growls, poof!]
Enough of your games, Orange Potter.
The Fruit that Must Not be Named
wants to have a word with you.
-The Fruit that Must Not be Named?
You mean Moldywarts?
-Dude! -Orange!
-It is madness to speak that name!
-Okay, I guess I'll just have to sing it then.
Moldywarts, Moldywarts
He wears moldy undershorts
[laughs]
[poof!] -Impressive, Orange Potter.
-Whoa, who's there?
-It is I, the Fruit that Must Not be Named.
-More like the fruit that has no nose. [laughs]
-Uh, Orange? None of us have noses.
-Wait a second, then how do we smell?
-Terrible! [laughs]
-My lord, I was just about to deliver
these rapscallions to you.
-Hey! I'm not a scallion, I'm an orange.
-Silence!
[poof!] -Ahh!!
-Whoa...
[Snapefruit screaming]
[crash!]
Hey! That's not how you play Quidditch.
-And now, Orange Potter,
you will meet your end.
-Don't worry, Orange. We're here to help.
-Yeah, you won't have to face Moldywarts alone.
-As a matter of fact, he will.
Jell-O-ramus! [poof! poof!]
-Ugh! Yuck!
I hate it when they put fruit in Jell-O.
-Now, Orange Potter,
the day I have waited for,
the day we finally see who is the greatest wizard-fruit.
-Ooh! Is it Kiwi?
-What? No.
-Peach?
-This is not a guessing game.
-Gordy McGordelot?
-That's not even a fruit!
-Geez, you don't have to be such an apple about it.
-No! I am not--wait, how--
how did you know I was an apple?
-Well, you do yell a lot.
-[yelling]
-Oof!
Whoa... w-- where am I?
-Hello there, Orange Potter.
-Hey! Grandpa Lemondore, you're back!
-Actually Orange, I'm still dead.
-Wait, if you're still dead and we're talking,
that means... [screaming]
-Calm down! You're not dead.
[screaming stops]
Think of this as a brief stoppage of time
to teach you a lesson,
the most important lesson you'll ever learn
in your entire life.
-Yay!
Wait, what were you talking about now?
-Orange Potter, you must listen to me very very closely.
Now, to defeat Lord Moldywarts and save your friends,
you must simply-- [snoring]
-Grandpa Lemondore?
Grandpa Lemondore?
[groans]
Now I'll never know how to defeat Moldywarts.
Wait, what's that?
Ooh!
-With Orange Potter gone,
there is no one to stand in my--
-Stand? I don't even have legs! [laughs]
-What? Impossible! How did--
-Hey! Hey, Moldywarts! Hey!
-What? What is it?
-Apple cadabra!
[poof!] -What-- you did it.
You made me young and fresh again.
-Yeah! Grandpa Lemondore's letter said
the key to defeating your enemies
is being nice to them.
-Well, Grandpa Lemondore was a wise wizard-fruit.
-Yeah! It said if you're nice to Moldywarts,
he'll never see it coming.
-See what coming?
-Knife!
-Noooo... [poof!]
[poof!] -Yay!
-You did it, Orange!
-Look at me, I'm a real wiz-kid.
[laughter]
-Oh... now that that's over with,
who wants Jell-O?!
[nom-noming, Pear and Passiony laugh]
-...too cool for that.
-The film begins with Harry Potter as a baby
being left at the doorstep of his aunt and uncle.
-And then jumps to a very unhappy 11-year-old Harry
who lives in a cupboard under the stairs,
being treated like a slave by his relatives.
-An owl starts delivering letters addressed to Harry
from a wizarding school called Hogwarts.
-His uncle won't let him read them,
but a half-giant named Hagrid comes to tell Harry the truth.