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hello friends,
thank you so much for your lovely poetry suggestions last week. I have a long reading slash listening
list I'm working through. Be not surprised if they become the themes of future vlogs.
so at age 14 I was brand new to contact lenses, skinny jeans, and an unflattering set of sidebangs.
my best friend and I sustained a crush on the same person. which happened frequently,
they usually picked her. But this time I was going to win. which meant that I was going
to have to actually talk to the dude.
one day after school we were loitering in the cafeteria, my bestie and I, and she set
her target. She of blond hair and blue eyes and the power of casual, direct conversation
set her mark. I, tagging along, saw her talking to him, him talking to her, me saying some
things I can't remember that came out like cotton balls until finally my brain switched
back on halfway through the sailor moon theme song.
Fighting Evil By Moonlight.
NOOOO
sailor moon!
I used to teach ballet to middle schoolers and I've always had a certain affection for
humans at that age who are all so hungry for attention and approval that they're always
talking with a slight exaggeration. gesturing a little too wildly. trying just oh so very
hard to be loved.
sometimes you can see the dull panic cross over their eyes when they realize they too
have gone too far and now they're singing a theme song and they made it weird.
the thing is it doesn't go away. we just get better at stopping it before it starts. maybe
burrowing inside ourselves and not talking at all so we don't lose control of ourselves.
but still, more than a decade from that hot dread in my throat in the cafeteria, sometimes
I still talk a little too loud, sometimes I get over excited, shoot off at the mouth.
Well into adulthood we find ourselves talking to new people and mr krabs meming in slow
motion whenever We say a thing, utterly powerless to stop it.
but *** it if it isn't because we just want to be loved so bad, and our voices straining
just above our usual register are the same time shouting hoe don't do it and please just
please be my friend.
so in the comments I want to hear a story of a time you were a little extra. did you
survive an adolescent sailor moon serenade? did you blather on for just a little too long
last weekend?
If you liked this video you can subscribe if you’re so inclined. You can also find
me on all my social medias in the links below, and I’ll see you next week. Bye!