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>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
WE HAVE NOT SEEN EACH OTHER IN SEVEN YEARS.
>> SEVEN YEARS.
>> Stephen: FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE DEEP CUT THE OLD SHOW
"THE COLBERT REPORT" YOU MIGHT RECOGNIZE YOU CAN MAIL, BECAUSE
WE ESTABLISHED I HAD MY OWN GITMO UNDER MY DESK.
WHEN PRESIDENT OBAMA SAID HE WAS GOING TO CLOSE GITMO-- STILL
WAITING.
>> DID HE NOT MAIL THE PAPERS OFF.
>> Stephen: HE FORGOT TO FILE.
ON MY SHOW I REALIZED I HAD TO RELEASE ALL THE PRISONERS FROM
UNDERNEATH MY DESK, AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE, AND IT WAS YOU.
( APPLAUSE ) YEAH.
YEAH.
>> I-- I JUST QUIT MY JOB.
I HAD MOVED TO NEW YORK FROM CHICAGO.
MY PARENTS WERE TERRIFIED.
>> Stephen, OF COURSE,.
>> THEY WASN'T GOING TO DO ANYTHING, AND I CALLED THEM TO
TELL THEM I WAS ON THE SHOW.
AND THEY WERE VERY EXCITED.
AND THEY WERE LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING?"
AND I WAS LIKE, A GUATANAMO BAY PRISONER.
IS THAT GOOD?" >> Stephen: WERE THEY OKAY
WITH IT?
>> THEY THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS WHEN THEY SAW THE BIT.
AND I CAME BACK AND THEY WERE LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING NOW?
AND I SAID, "I'M PLAYING A FOOD DELIVERY GUY."