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I apologize for these first two videos, the sound quality is absolutely hideous...
...as my usual camera and well sound equipment is currently in Dover (Dover, England).
Ah well, here we are film #2 Atom Age Vampire,
well at least the music on the credits sounds right, unlike "The Bat".
Oh it's been dubbed in English,
...that's quite disappointing.
I was looking forward to it being in Italian.
So multiple sources tell me that the main character of the story is a singer...
...or stripper, I'm not sure either, it's not really mentioned.
But anyway, she has a break-up with her cardboard-acting boyfriend,
so she's understandably upset and she gets in a car and drives off.
She then crashes off the road, just look at this. (Screw you Bruce Willis, Die Hard eat your heart out!)
Now all reason would tell you she's dead, but no! She's alive somehow. Three months later it's time to take off the bandages.
and... what?
She's only burned a little bit on one side of her face?
Then the real plot kicks in, some crazy scientists approach her and say they can
...cure her face.
What's not to like about that?
This bit is just completely stupid, the bad guy just starts breaking
a wall down in his basement, made of bricks that seem to be held together with prit-stick.
Then they cure her.
And then he kills his lab partner. Why? Anyway the police
investigate and don't really ask any relevant questions and then randomly
start talking about Hiroshima. What?!
And then there's a completely unlinked scene where an unknown couple...
...find a corpse in the woods.
But when did she get killed?
And how do we even know it was the scientist?
Blah blah blah, this film takes forever...
it's nearly forty five minutes in before we even get to see the "Atom Age Vampire",
only he isn't really a vampire.
He doesn't drink blood or nothing, he just...
makes himself a monster,
so that he has no morals when he kills people and nicks their organs for his crazy formula.
Essentially just making this a crap version of Jekyll and Hyde.
And what's the first thing he kills? The bloody pets rabbits.
Also I love that fact he doesn't react at all to himself
...mutating, Fantastic...
I'm so sorry I tried to care, I really did, but after an hour this movie got so boring,
it could easily have been thirty minutes shorter.
There are a few moments where the budget shows and it'll make chuckle because it's a bit cheap...
but those moments a few and far between because of the masses of redundant
...dialogue,
and there's just so much time when nothing happens at all.
So let's just skip toward the end...
Oh no he's turned himself into a monster again...
Oh your boyfriend randomly just happens to be walking by does he?
Did she just pull that lighting fixture off the wall?
This fight scene is particularly pathetic as they just seem to be wrestling
each other with a bit of ***-slapping thrown in.
The monster thinks he's won the woman, but oh look Captain Scarlett is up again.
The man-servant then saves the day by stabbing him in the back,
but then the police nick him. Yes but...
he killed the baddie.
And the closest we get to a line wrapping things up at the end this:
Brilliant *sarcasm*
Three and a half out of Ten.