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*LE PROJET IMAGINE
*MATHILDA MAY ACTRESS
There's one area where I always felt vulnerable,
since I was small, and that was writing.
I had even banished any thought of ever being able to write,
because it was so absolutely unattainable.
When I grew up,
I set the whole thing aside.
Though I wanted to tell stories.
I wanted to share.
Sharing feelings was what
it was always really about.
And then I met someone, and that was magic.
It completely changed everything,
there is a me before,
and a me after this meeting.
The person I met is my publisher, Thierry Billard,
at Flammarion Publishing.
I had met with this publisher when I had this idea of doing a kind
of document, a book-document about child abuse,
because I was working with an NGO
that dealt with child abuse. So I met with this publisher
for that purpose,
and I started talking about what I wanted to do.
For many reasons this never happened.
And then he said to me :
We didn't know each other very well He said :
"Have you ever thought of writing ?"
"Yes, but it would be a scenario."
"Would you tell me what it's about ?"
So I did.
And when I told him this story, I could see he was moved,
Could see his eyes turning a bit red, it was barely perceptible.
He said : “That's really interesting.
“Would you write that story ?”
For a whole year, I twisted myself in knots
trying to write this story in the form of a novel,
since I was supposed to put everything in writing,
and what I saw was images.
It was just completely impossible.
He said : “Well, why don't you try something else ?”
And that sentence,
“Why don't you try something else ?”
That was, I don't know how to express it,
a kind of trigger.
A key that unlocked
a kind of knot in my gut
and freed me instantly, physically
I was in a kind of shock.
I went home, like a zombie,
sat down in front of my computer,
and started writing my first novel.
The first sentences I wrote are the first sentences of my novel today.
I didn't let go until I finished
my 400 pages,
a whole year.
So this was
a meeting that was symbolically so important.
He probably wasn't aware of it.
But the meaning it had for me,
the impact on my life,
the self-confidence it gave me,
the satisfaction, is something I owe him.
I owe the work to myself,
because it didn't happen simply because I was chosen
by a movie director for a part.
This is all my work, my feelings,
and what I wanted to write about.
It's as if thanks to him I had suddenly become an adult.
I was in a kind of infantile mindset,
the way you tend to be when you are an actor,
when you depend on others' judgment.
Here, this was my own responsibility,
an adult approach,
it's as if Thierry Billard,
from his office at Flammarion,
had said to me : “You're a big girl, you can do it”!
I could have been in another state of mind,
and met this guy who says that to me,
and think : “Sure, something else, easy to say.”
And it would have stopped there.
Being really receptive
means sometimes to feel what the other person perceives in you that
you don't even know about yourself.
It's fantastic.
Sous-titrage : Eclair Group