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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
- BEEN MASHING POTATOES ALL MONTH?
HERE ARE SOME "MAD" MOMENTS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED.
TUESDAY, 11 A.M.
THE JONAS BROTHERS ANNOUNCE THEY'RE BREAKING UP,
WHICH ESSENTIALLY MEANS THEY'RE EACH INTERVIEWING NEW MOMS.
WEDNESDAY, 4 P.M.
BALLOON RIDES TO OUTER SPACE ARE SOLD FOR $75,000,
$80,000 IF YOU WANT TO COME BACK DOWN.
THURSDAY, 1 P.M.
THE NAVY USES BRITNEY SPEARS MUSIC TO SCARE PIRATES AWAY,
BUT TO SCARE EVERYONE ELSE AWAY,
THEY USE THIS.
- HA HA HA!
♪ A-YABBA-BOY YABBA ♪
♪ MAD ♪
♪ A-YABBA-BOY YABBA ♪
♪ A-YABBA-BOY YABBA ♪
♪ MAD ♪
- WOLVERINE, HURRY. YOU HAVE TO ESCAPE.
IT'S NOT SAFE DOWN THERE.
- ARE YOU KIDDING? IT'S NOT SAFE DOWN HERE?
THEY'RE MAKING A NEW WOLVERINE MOVIE OUT THERE.
- A WOLVERINE MOVIE? iAY, CARAMBA!
- UHH! I GUESS IT WASN'T MUCH SAFER DOWN HERE AFTER ALL.
AAH! - WHAT IS IT?
- AAH! - AAH!
- AAH! - AAH!
- I HAD A DREAM I WAS IN JAPAN.
THEY WERE MAKING A WOLVERINE MOVIE.
- WELL, IT WAS JUST A DREAM. - I'M SORRY, JEAN.
I PROMISE I'LL NEVER BE IN ANOTHER WOLVERINE MOVIE AS LONG AS I--
ARE YOU ABOUT TO TELL ME I'M IN A WOLVERINE MOVIE?
- YEP.
- FIGURES.
- LOGAN, WE MUST LEAVE IMMEDIATELY FOR JAPAN.
WE ARE MAKING A WOLVERINE MOVIE.
- [CLANK] NOOOOO!
ALL RIGHT, BUT THESE MOVIES ARE GETTING BOR-ING.
SO I SAID, JAMES FRANCO? HE CAN'T EVEN SING.
- LOGAN. - YASHIDA.
- YOU LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU DID ON THE DAY YOU SAVED MY LIFE
TWO SCENES AGO.
- AND YOU ALSO LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME ON THE DAY--
YEAH, I CAN'T DO THIS. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DIE.
ALSO, WHO'S THAT?
- OH, THAT IS DR. GREEN. SHE IS MY DOCTOR
AND THERE IS NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT HER AT ALL.
- THAT CHECKS OUT.
SO, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
- YOU ARE HERE TO GIVE ME YOUR POWERS,
SO YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE TO BE IN WOLVERINE MOVIES
AND I CAN LIVE FOREVER.
- YEAH, I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND NOT DO THAT.
- THEN I WILL BUILD A GIANT ROBOT AND STEAL YOUR POWERS.
- COME AGAIN?
- I SAID NOTHING. AND I'M DEAD NOW.
BEEEEP...
- OH, NO, HE IS DEAD.
- BUT THIS MACHINE SAYS HE'S ALIVE.
- I SAID I'M DEAD. NOW GO TO FUNERAL.
- JAPAN. THIS PLACE IS WEIRD.
- "JAPAN, THIS PLACE IS WEIRD."
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE TOURISM DEPARTMENT OF JAPAN.
[ALL CRYING] - LOGAN,
THIS IS YASHIDA'S GRANDDAUGHTER MARIKO.
- WELL, HELLO.
SAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER THE FUNERAL?
- OH, YOU KNOW. DO SOME KARAOKE,
BUY A STUFFED DOG THAT LOOKS LIKE SUSHI WITH A FACE,
TRY NOT TO GET KIDNAPPED.
- OH, WELL, THAT'S NICE.
- HYAH! - AAH!
- GRR. - OH, NO!
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THEY'RE TAKING HER TO KARAOKE?
- UH, PRETTY GOOD, ACTUALLY.
- THEN MY PLAN IS WORKING.
UH, I MEAN...
BEEEEP...
- I WAS RIGHT! THIS ISN'T KARAOKE. UHH!
IT'S THE ONLY DECENT ACTION SCENE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE.
- HEY, YOU GUYS ARE NUTS.
THE TRAIN ISN'T EVEN MOVING YET.
- REALLY? OH. WELL, IN THAT CASE...
- YAAHHHH!
- [BLOWS WHISTLE] GIDDY-UP!
- WHOAAAA!
UNH!
VA-VA-VA--
- [HISSES]
- OH, MAN, IT'S THAT GREEN CHICK WHO'S ACTUALLY GREEN.
- IF YOU THINK I'M A POORLY CONCEIVED CHARACTER,
MAY I INTRODUCE THIS.
- HEH HEH HEH HEH! YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD,
[BEEP] BUT--WHAT THE--
AM I REALLY DEAD? OH, NO.
WAIT, THAT'S JUST THE ALARM SAYING MY FACE MASK IS OPEN.
[BEEP] AND NOW YOU WILL DIE.
- PROMISE ME ONE LAST FAVOR.
- YES?
- DON'T MISS.
- YAAAHH!
- AAH! OH, NO. I HAD A DREAM
THAT I WAS IN A WOLVERINE MOVIE AND IT WAS TERRIBLE.
- DON'T WORRY, YOU'RE NOT IN A WOLVERINE MOVIE.
- YOU'RE IN ANOTHER X-MEN MOVIE.
- NOOOO!
- I'M HERE, TOO. WHEE!
- NOOOO!
EH. BETTER THAN HOSTING THE OSCARS AGAIN.
["THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY" THEME]
["THE LONE RANGER" THEME]
[THUNDER]
- YOU BETTER BRING AN UMBRELLA.
IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS OUT THERE.
- FOR REAL?
- NO, SON. IT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION.
- OH. OK.
[THUNDER]
IT'S NOT RAINING CATS AND DOGS,
IT'S RAINING BEARS AND TIGERS!
- I SAID IT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION.
- AAAHHH! - [GROWLING]
- MAD!
- A THOUSAND YEARS AGO
MANKIND WAS FORCED TO ABANDON EARTH.
FLUNG INTO THE COLD VOID, THE REMNANTS OF HUMANITY
EVENTUALLY FOUND THEIR WAY INTO NOVA PRIME.
SOCIETY WAS REBUILT, CUSTOMS RELEARNED,
AND LAWS REFORGED.
MEANWHILE, ALL TRACES OF CIVILIZATION
WERE OBLITERATED FROM EARTH
AND IT RETURNED TO ITS ORIGINAL PRIMAL STATE.
BUT WE ARE GOING BACK.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD LOOK YOUR BEST?
AFTER EARTH AFTERSHAVE.
'CAUSE WE ABANDONED EARTH, Y'ALL, NOT GOOD GROOMING.
- OH.
SORRY, UH, NOTHING REALLY HAPPENS IN THIS CARTOON.
I JUST READ.
SERIOUSLY, THIS IS IT.
JUST ME.
READING.
CAN'T ALL BE GEMS, YOU KNOW.
- BATMAN'S GOT THE BATCAVE
AND IRONMAN HAS STARK TOWER.
BUT HERE ARE SOME LESS IMPRESSIVE SUPERHERO LAIRS.
THE GARAGE WHERE SPIDERMAN PARKS THE SPIDERMOBILE.
- I NEVER EVEN USE IT. I MEAN, WHO NEEDS A CAR IN NEW YORK?
- THE CLOSET WHERE HULK KEEPS HIS PURPLE SHORTS.
- HULK NEEDS LOTS OF PAIRS 'CAUSE THEY'RE STRETCHY,
BUT EVERYTHING HAS LIMITS.
- BLUE BEETLE'S BEDROOM IN HIS PARENTS' HOUSE.
- YEP, THAT'S ABOUT IT. NOT MUCH MORE TO TELL.
- WOLVERINE'S WOLVERINE BURROW.
- WOLVERINES LIVE IN BURROWS. WANT TO FIGHT ABOUT IT?
- AND THE NINJA TURTLES' GROSS SEWER.
- OUR SEWER LAIR ISN'T GROSS, IT'S COOL.
- SURE. WHATEVER YOU NEED TO TELL YOURSELF
TO GET THROUGH THE DAY.
THIS HAS BEEN "LESS IMPRESSIVE SUPERHERO LAIRS."
MAD!
- OH, NO! SNOW WHITE ATE THE POISONED APPLE.
- POISONED APPLE? HUH. THAT'S WHY I'M A P.C. GUY,
AM I RIGHT? HO HO HO!
- AND THAT'S WHY YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF JOKEY THE AIDS DWARF.
- AND NOW FOR MY NEXT TRICK,
I'M GONNA PULL SOME HANDKERCHIEFS OUT OF MY SLEEVE.
OHH...
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
- MAN, THAT DUDE IS SO LAME.
I CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO DO MAGIC
WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE A TOTAL DWEEB.
- TAKE ME WITH YOU.
- HOOD-INI, THE HIPSTER MAGICIAN,
PERFORMING ACTS OF MAGIC THAT ARE JUST ENTERTAINING ENOUGH
SO THAT YOU CAN NOD BUT DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE TO APPLAUD.
LIKE PULLING A RABBIT OUT OF A FEDORA.
- HUH. HE'S GOT A LITTLE FIXIE.
- ESCAPING FROM HIS SKINNY JEANS.
- HUH. I GOT MY HANDS OUT OF MY POCKETS
AND I'M STILL HOLDING MY $5.00 BILL.
- AND PERFORMING ILLUSIONS.
- LOOK. TURNED THE FOAM ON MY LATTE INTO A MAPLE LEAF.
CATCH THE 2 P.M. MATINEE OF HOOD-INI, THE HIPSTER MAGICIAN,
'CAUSE HE DOESN'T GET UP BEFORE NOON
AND HE PARTIES ALL NIGHT.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
- HMM.
UNH!
[SIGHS]
UNH!
UNNHH!
[ELECTRICAL HUMMING, ZAPPING]
- [LAUGHING]
[WHIRRING]
[THUD, RUMBLING]
[CRUNCH, SQUISH]
[BELL DINGS]
- WOW, THIS IS AMAZING!
THIS PLACE IS SO COOL.
I FEEL LIKE--LIKE-- WELL, LIKE--
- UH, A KID IN A CANDY STORE?
- YEAH, I GUESS SO.
BUT THAT'S SO ON THE NOSE.
THERE'S GOTTA BE A BETTER EXPRESSION FOR THIS, HUH?
THAT'S RUDE. I'M GOING HOME.
[BELL DINGS]
[GASPS]
[TIRES SCREECH] - [MOO!]
- AW, MAN, STUPID COWS.
- [MOO!]
I'M TRYING TO LEAVE THIS DUMB, TINY TOWN
AND YOU COWS ARE MESSING IT UP.
- [MOO] - DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I HOPE SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENS TO YOU.
- YEAH. I HOPE SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENS TO THAT COW SPECIFICALLY.
[RUMBLING]
[MOOING]
- OW.
- WHAT IS THAT THING?
- WHERE'D IT COME FROM?
- AND WHO ARE YOU?
- UM, I'M A MYSTERIOUS STRANGER.
THIS THING IS A MYSTERIOUS, INVISIBLE DOME,
AND I AM 90% SURE I DID NOT CAUSE IT.
- WHATEVER IT IS, WE'RE TRAPPED UNDER IT.
NOTHING CAN GET IN OR OUT.
- HEY, SKETCH STORK, WHY ARE YOU BRINGING ME,
FERGIE, AND LEBRON JAMES TO CHESTER'S MILL?
- BECAUSE, ADRIEN BRODY, THERE'S A "MAD" SKETCH HAPPENING THERE
AND YOU CELEBRITIES ARE GONNA MAKE A CAMEO IN IT.
IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH--
[THUD]
[SQUEAKING]
- MAYBE THAT WAS FOR THE BEST.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
[CROWD CLAMORING] - EVERYONE CALM DOWN.
YES, WE'RE TRAPPED UNDER A DOME,
BUT IT COULD BE WORSE.
AT LEAST ALL OUR TV AND INTERNET ARE CUT OFF
SO WE CAN'T ACTUALLY WATCH THIS SHOW.
- OH, YEAH. - THAT IS GOOD.
- I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT.
- BUT HOW WILL WE SURVIVE?
WON'T WE RUN OUT OF WATER AND FOOD?
- WELL, THIS IS A MINISERIES,
SO WE ONLY HAVE TO SURVIVE ONE SEASON.
THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
- EVERYONE, TERRIBLE NEWS!
I GOT THE RADIO WORKING AND LEARNED SOMETHING HORRIBLE!
- IS THE MILITARY GONNA DROP A BOMB ON THE DOME?
- WORSE! "UNDER THE DOME" JUST GOT PICKED UP FOR A SECOND SEASON!
- WELL, I'M OUT.
[SIREN, CAR SCRAPING]
- I GUESS I'M SHERIFF NOW.
HOW DO LAWS WORK UNDER DOMES?
- THEY DON'T WORK. EVERYONE GO CRAZY! AAH!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[KNOCKING] - HEY, YO. IT HAS BEEN DONE.
IT WAS THE WHOLE PREMISE OF "THE SIMPSONS" MOVIE.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- MORE BAD NEWS OVER THE RADIO.
- IS THE MILITARY GONNA DROP A BOMB ON THE DOME?
- WORSE! THEY RENEWED US FOR A SECOND SEAS--
OH, NO, WAIT. YEAH, WE SAID THAT.
YES, THEY ARE DROPPING A BOMB.
- WE'LL ALL BE BLOWN UP. THIS IS AWFUL.
Both: WE'VE BEEN HAVING VISIONS AND WE FOUND A PINK EGG.
- NEVER MIND. THE BOMB SOUNDS BETTER THAN WHATEVER THAT'S ABOUT.
- I GUESS THIS IS IT.
- NO DOME IS GONNA STOP ME
FROM BRINGING CELEBRITIES INTO A SKETCH.
- SKETCH STORK, YOU BLEW UP THE DOME AND FREED US ALL.
THANK YOU.
- JUST DOIN' MY JOB. [CROWD CHEERING]
- BUT YOU ALSO BROUGHT US ADRIEN BRODY,
FERGIE FROM THE BLACK-EYED PEAS,
LEBRON JAMES, AND FOR SOME REASON,
BART SIMPSON.
SO...GET HIM!
[ALL SHOUTING]
- HA HA! THAT'LL TEACH 'EM TO STEAL A "SIMPSONS" PLOT.
- MAD!
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
- MAD!
- ♪ HEY, YABBA, BOY, YAMMA ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS. ANIMATION
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
- CAN'T ALL BE GEMS, YOU KNOW.