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-What's up, guys? I see some new faces. That's always good.
-Hi, Brian! [Sighs]
You guys sign in? Sign in sheet?
All right, cool. Let's start this.
All right, as most of you know, my name's Brian. I'll be the moderator tonight.
Looks like we're a group short, so let's just give them a few minutes to... [Door opens]
-Who is that?
-Nothing. He, uh... He works for the community center.
Making sure we had enough chairs.
-He took the sign-in sheet, and I think-- [Slick, '80s guitar riff]
-All right, well, finally everybody's here. Let's get started.
First up, welcome the newbies. So, what's stitched on your collective jerseys?
You know, what's your handle? What do you go by?
-Well, I'm Virginia. This is--
-No, no, that was sweet, let me stop you right there though.
What I meant was, this is the Super Sorority,
that's the Mediocreteam, so you guys would be?
-Oh! We are the... -Platoon...
-Squadron. BRIAN: Right, okay, everyone...
ALL: Welcome, Platoon of Power Squadron.
BRIAN: Now, I want you to know that everybody here in this room knows what it is to live the life of tights.
-Comfortab... ALL: Lonely.
-That's right; lonely. -Lonely.
-Because with the cape and the cowl comes the quizzical owl: WHO...
This group was founded to answer that very question. Look around the room, you're not alone.
There's people on this earth that understand you, and they're right here.
So, Power Squad...What's your power?
-Ooh, well, I'm one part of a girl who works in a book store. -I don't think we should start!
-No? You don't want to start? -Look at that.
VIRGINIA: It might ease us in if you show us your process.
-Let's start with them. -Yes. Let's.
-We are the Super Sorority.
Super hot sorority sisters half the time.
Hot Super Sorority sisters all the time.
-I'm Kristen, the leader. -This semester.
-Now and forever, ***. -We'll see.
-Hot. -What's your super power?
-When I'm not being super, I'm usually perfecting my body.
As a personal trainer, perection isn't only my responsibility, it's my destiny.
But... when the call comes in, the spandex comes off.
DONALD: Oh my God.
-I become... The Social Butterfly.
When a party is drawing its dying breath, I'm the one who gives it mouth to mouth.
-Life of the party! -Hot!
-But not really a super power. So...
-I'm Tina. I spend a lot of time writing my poetry,
reading some of the more deeply felt linguistics of the more eloquent centuries,
and hanging out in independent coffee houses. You know, open mics or whatever.
But when the call comes in, it's time to put philosophy into action and become...
If someone is behaving thoughtlessly toward their roommates, significant others, or themselves,
I make sure they feel the emotional weight of their words and actions.
-Yeah, super sorrow! -That's so...
...hot. VIRGINIA: Making people cry by crying at them isn't a power.
-And there's already a Phoenix. And her hardcore'ness would give you something to cry about.
-You know, I'm hearing a lot of judgement. I don't want to point fingers.
But, this area.
-I'm Alexis. You can usually find me shredding on my ax,
basically rocking balls so hard that no band I've auditioned for yet can keep up with me.
Too bad for them. But when that call pops up, it's time to rock somebody's world.
The Femme Fatale.
If a guy cheats on his girlfriend, I kick his ***.
Sometimes, I'll do it with a fistful of quarters.
If he calls that "cheating" that's when the justice borders on Tina's territory...
-Yeah, poetic justice! -Hot.
-Roll of quarters, not a power. -Cool though.
Got a whole vengeance scenario going on, good name, provocative outfit, rock 'n roll secret identity,
you could be a series.
-Hi, I'm Lauren. I sew. I made these outfits.
-Well, they're hot. -Those are really cool. I like 'em. -I like...yeah.
VIRGINIA: Do you knit? -I wish.
-We should talk.
-What's your story, guy?
-I'm Steven-Man. -You are not even trying, Steve.
You just tacked "Man" onto your name. Do you have a super group here, or...
-Well, they're running late. They'll be here.
BRIAN: Yeah, they're running so late, they've never actually been here.
Isn't that right, Steven-Man? -Well, I mean, yeah. They're kinda unreliable.
I mean, I'd be willing to ditch them if, you know, any of you guys wanted to maybe pick me up.
-Tell me you guys have super powers. -Of course.
They don't call us the Mediocreteam for nothing.
I'm known as Master Packer because I have the power to
perfectly pack any amount of items into anything meant to store things,
boxes, trunks, suitcases, what have you.
I'm also blessed with a second superpower in which I never need to use a napkin.
So, that's pretty cool. -Actually that his weakness.
He only thinks he doesn't need a napkin. You should see the amount of time he spends with food all over his face.
-Dude, what are you talking about? -Like a dirty child.
-Dude, don't embarrass me. -They call me ParKing
-Expert on the golf course, huh? -Terrible actually.
But you're not the first to make that mistake. I have the ability find the perfect parking spot anywhere, anytime.
Unfortunately, that's rendered completely useless, because I can never remember where I parked
and I'm too stubborn to let anyone tell me. -Wait, ParKing?
I think I saw your license plate, it's just right-- -Do NOT tell me! I'll find it.
-I'm Dead Stop. I can stop time.
But only for myself. And since everyone always wants a demonstration...
-How long does this go on for? -Long enough for it to stop being funny.
-Yeah, it actually does that Family Guy-thing where it goes on long enough to become funny again,
but, yeah, he just takes it too far.
-Coats! Coats. Get your coats, we're outta here.
-Dude, sometimes no costume is better.