Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
You know those games that, just...suck up your time? Time suckers? Well, this is definitely
one of them. In fact, it sucks so much time, you�ll end up...outta time.
And that�s only good as a license plate, on the back of a DeLorean.
It�s CastleStorm for the Xbox 360.
Anyway, point is...this is a really freaking good game, guys. It�s not often we review
a game here at the underwater base that, like...in the middle of playing it, we just lose all
sense of time. Its, like...you�re just playing this awesome game. You forget everything you�re
supposed to be doing, because...this is a really freaking good game, guys.
So CastleStorm released just today, and if you haven�t already checked it out...you
should probably check it out. This is just an awesome combination of ideas. It�s, like,
tower defense meets Angry Birds meets Snapple. Tower defense because, you�re defending
crap. Angry Birds because, you�re throwing crap.
And Snapple, because...I just really like Snapple.
So you play as...this guy. I don�t know, he has a sword. Whatever. And the vikings
are being vikings. You know, raping and pillaging, and all that. And so you have to save the
kingdom from the vikings. The funny thing is...the story is restricted to brief cut
scenes, but that�s all it needs to be. And it works. It�s got a great sense of humor.
What I like most about the story is that...it sets up the missions brilliantly. So there
are times when...maybe your troops all have to pee, but there�s only one toilet. So
they�re all waiting in line, which means they�re unavailable for the upcoming mission.
It�s just a really fun way of changing the stipulations between missions...and to make
the removal of key strategic elements make sense.
And what are those elements? Boy, what perfect timing, for you to ask. CastleStorm works
like this. First off, you have automated troops. They just do their thing, so all you have
to do is release them, one by one. There are several troops to choose from, from archers
to swordsmen and even priests...each with their own abilities.
As your soldiers do their thing, you can provide them cover. Your primary weapon is your catapult,
which launches all kinds of freaking weapons. Spears, bombs...you even have explosive apples.
Isaac Newton�s worst nightmare. So you can put troops on the ground, you attack from
the air...but you also have a third option.
It�s not called the Conan mode, but...it damn well should be.
So there�s obviously a lot of things going on here. Strategy, physics, poor bladder control...but
the game adds another layer of depth by allowing you to customize the castles you�re defending.
You can unlock new rooms, add the ones you want...the rooms you choose actually affect
your troops and resources, as well.
CastleStorm is a weird thing. It�s like a mixture of real-time strategy, tower defense,
Angry Birds...it�s a busy game, but you always feel in control. It really hits that
sweet spot between complexity and simplicity. Throw in its charm and multiplayer modes,
and this is one castle that�s certainly worth...storming.
That�s a weird verb.
Game�s awesome, is the point.