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morning???
you never??
just???
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what you??
one???
we???
but??
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yes?
what???
you??
oh??
they???
smoking??
It's??
you??
??
I???
the two of us sharing the
delightfully smooth flavor
Yeah, well,
the whole idea is that
when you come to America,
you check your traditions
at the border.
Otherwise, you got cannibals
running around in the streets,
and we've got enough traffic
problems as it is.
Somehow,
all my Dad's parables ended
with the cannibals
in the streets.
Believe me,
I-I am not a regular smoker.
I am afraid it is the stress
of the upcoming mid-terms
that has got me
started again.
Well, Raja,
I'm sorry, but we just cannot
have smoking in the house.
Gary and I were smokers
for many years,
and it was very difficult
to quit.
So
garbage disposal.
I'm not going
near that thing.
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??? in the air,
a feeling of excitement
and anticipation
that could only mean
one thing
Veterans Day was coming.
It is so heartwarming
to see the appreciation
the students here
at Medora have
for your nation's heroes.
Uh, yeah.
Around ten years ago,
the student council started
selling "Purple Heart" flowers
to raise money for the local
veteran's hospital.
I'll take one.
It goes to Melinda Lewis.
Somewhere along the way,
kids started sending each other
"Purple Hearts"
as if they were Valentine's.
I hereby award a Purple Heart.
So, like everything else
in high school,
we had turned Veterans Day
into a popularity contest.
GIRL:
If my boyfriend doesn't get me at least 12
Purple Hearts this year,
I will die.
For a girl like Claire,
this should have been the most
anticipated day
on the school calendar.
But not this year.
Hey, Claire,
can I talk to you
for a minute?
Historically, Claire was the
one who did the breaking up.
What's up, sweetie?
So this was a little
unexpected.
You're a great girl,
but I need my space.
Your space?
See, like right now,
you're all up on me.
You asked me to
come over here.
Now it's a
big thing.
Look, we're over.
Cool?
Cool.
Claire and I might not have had
the best sibling relationship,
but when push came to shove,
we were always there
for each other.
(whispering):
Thanks.
Okay, here is all
my tenth grade tests
and book reports, but
you're only gonna use them
as study guides, right?
I'm sorry
for killing your turtle.
That's okay.
Sorry for making fun
of your new haircut.
The point is,
we had each other's backs.
I knew I had to strike back
against Jeffrey.
RAJA:
Under normal circumstances,
I would protest an act of vandalism,
but this time it
is deserved.
Claire's honor
must be avenged.
Hey! Hey! The marker's
out of ink.
(bell rings)
Somebody else
give me another
??
??
??
It's not like it's the end
of the world or anything.
Oh, my God!
Here comes a
Love Soldier.
I hereby award a Purple Heart
to Claire Tolchuck
for her service
to her country.
Oh, my God!
Is it from Jeffrey?
Does he want to
get back together?
I don't know.
TANNER:
I bet it's from
Steve Dawson!
Or maybe
Dan Archer!
Who's it from?
No one.
Mm. Very nice.
You got it.
Your Purple Heart
is from your brother?
JUSTIN:
Yeah.
You seemed a little down,
I just wanted to
Do her?
No.
I just wanted to
Get in her pants?
I see the confusion here.
The Purple Hearts
are often given
as a sign of romantic
affection,
which is why you girls
mistakenly
think he wants
to engage
in *** activity
with his sister.
I mean,
Claire, you know,
come on.
You know what I mean, right?
This doesn't look good.
I understand, Justin.
That you're a freak.
(girls laugh)
Tell you what,
I'm not interested.
Hey, why don't you ask out
your pillow instead?
After what you've put it
through,
I think it deserves a night out.
Or there's
Aunt Sally.
He hid in her closet and
watched her undress.
I have heard
the story.
Justin was playing
hide-and-seek.
Aunt Sally was
not supposed to
be in there
or be bottomless.
It's okay, Raja.
Let's go.
What's the matter?
Not in love with
me anymore?
Oh, crap, crap, crap, crap.
Jiminy Christmas!
God darn it!
Damn it!
Oh, hi, Raja.
My pot roast
is a disaster.
Well, I suppose we're gonna have
to order pizza again.
Now, I know
you don't eat sausage
but is there anything
in your religion
against mushrooms
or stuffed crust?
No.
Raja!
I am so sorry.
I had forgotten how addictive
these things can be.
Give me a light.
Mrs. Tolchuck?
Save it, kid.
I have had a hell of a week
with this Claire situation,
and Gary is still looking
for work,
and apparently
I said something
to offend Audrey
and her black husband.
I just need a couple
of puffs to calm me down.
Come on!
But this is it.
One cigarette,
and we are both done
for good, got it?
Understood.
Can I come in for a sec?
Something's different.
Didn't you have
a race car bed?
Yep.
Six years ago.
Look, about what happened today,
at school
People make
mistakes, and
This is not easy for me to say.
What I'm trying to say is
I forgive you.
Okay, fine.
I was wrong.
I went way
overboard today.
I'm sorry, okay?
Nope.
Not okay.
What?
What you did today
was unforgivable.
Yeah, but I apologized.
You have to accept it.
Well, I don't.
Look, Claire
you've done a lot of crappy
things to me in the past,
especially this year,
now that you're Miss Popular.
But what you did today
in the lunch room
crossed the line.
And we're not
going back!
Justin
Ah! That was the last sentence
I ever spoke to you.
Except for that one.
And that one.
You get the point.
It's over.
You don't exist
to me anymore.
?? learning
what life was like
without a brother.
(whispering):
Justin.
Justin!
(tapping glass)
Justin!
Dude,
open the window!
You made your point.
I get it.
I was mean and cruel
and shouldn't have done
what I did.
I said I was sorry!
What more do you
want from me?!
Justin?
Justin!
Meanwhile, another one
of my dad's job interviews
had gone down in flames.
But that wasn't the smoke
he was smelling.
Carolina Slims.
Lights.
No. Extra Lights.
Care to explain this, Raja?
After everything
Mrs. Tolchuck and I told you about the
dangers of smoking,
this is what I find?
But
You betrayed my trust, Raja,
and I'm the one
who wanted to keep you.
He can hear
that now.
Mrs. Tolchuck?
Don't "Mrs. Tolchuck" me.
Smoking is a disgusting habit.
It will not be
tolerated in this house.
And I think a month
without television
should help you remember that.
That would seem very unfair.
Uh, TV's pretty
severe, Franny.
Are you sure you want
to go to Def-Con One,
because there's really
no place to go after that.
Yeah, fine.
But we're watching you.
That's my girl.
Minty fresh.
I cannot believe this.
You just sold me out
like an ugly cousin.
I am sorry, Raja, but I couldn't
let Gary find out about this--
not just to protect myself,
but to protect him.
If he starts smoking again,
he won't be able to stop
like we're going to.
You are right.
For Mr. Tolchuck's sake,
we must both quit.
We're done. Now.
Absolutely.
Finished.
One last one for the road?
No. Okay, just
No.
I need your help, Raja.
I have to win
Justin back,
but I don't know how.
What does he like?
Books, music, movies?
Raja didn't usually mind
helping Claire
with her problems,
but it's a little hard
being helpful
when you're jonesing
for nicotine.
Stop talking!
You do not even know if your
own brother likes movies?
What is wrong with you?!
I
apologize for my outburst.
It is just that I'm a little bit
on the edge, you know?
Claire,
I believe the best thing
you can do for Justin
is to prove to him that
you are not ashamed of him.
Okay.
But how?
For example, you could
get him invited to Tim Chegley's
Veterans Day party.
Really? You think
he'd like that?
Like it?
It is all that he and his
irritating, hormonal,
stupid friends talk about
every blasted day at lunch!
Okay.
Thanks, Raja.
Any time.
Hey.
So, uh.
I spoke to Tim Chegley, and
he said that if you wanted
to come to his party
tomorrow night, you could.
What do you think?
I'm sorry.
I don't accept
invitations from strangers.
And since I no longer
have a sister,
I don't know who you are
which means you're a stranger.
Okay. I give up.
DOOLEY:
Are you insane?
You just turned down an invite
to a Tim Chegley party.
Those things are
wall-to-wall ***.
*** as far as
the eye can see.
I need some of
that ***, man.
BRAD:
I'd love to just
hold a girl.
A real girl.
Raja, you gotta talk
some sense into him.
Yes, *** all over the walls.
Please excuse me.
Can't you just
forgive Claire for us?
It's not about forgiving her.
I'm done.
BRAD:
Justin,
I really like girls.
But for some reason,
they can't see the beautiful
person that's inside of me.
I really think that
a Tim Chegley love party
would really
bring that out.
You can still go to the party
and hate your sister, can't you?
Fine.
BOTH:Yes!
Dude, we are gonna drown in ***!
Sorry. I had to wait
until Justin left for the party.
God, I've been standing
out here forever.
Come on, come on,
give me a light.
Oh, yeah,
that's the ticket, huh?
Mm. Better give me
another one.
This baby's going fast.
Oh.
FRANNY:
Raja? Are you out here?
Oh, crap! She'll kill me
if she finds out about this.
Quick, give me
your cigarette.
This is starting
to get dangerous.
Perhaps we should go inside.
No, no. no, no, we've
got a few minutes.
Gary went to go get milk.
Cheese and crepes--
do you smell smoke?
No, I do not believe so.
It is! One of our
cigarette butts must have caught
on something!
You know the saying, "Where
there's smoke, there's fire"?
(Raja, Franny gasp)
Well, they weren't kidding.
Okay. I got it.
Look at me;
my hands are shaking.
I think it's safe to say
I've waited my whole life
for this moment.
team??
they were??
good??
and ?????
I think I'm crying.
??
Looks like we're okay.
I think it's mostly
Christmas stuff
and smoke detectors.
The kids' old artwork,
our family pictures.
Oh.
It's all ruined.
I am so sorry.
This is all my fault.
No, Raja.
We all played a part in this.
Yes, but I am the one
who brought this filthy,
Satanic habit into your home.
If it were not for me,
you would still have your
cherished family mementos.
He's got a point there.
No, this is good.
We needed to sink this low.
Nothing else would have done it.
This is the wake-up call
we needed to quit
these damn cigarettes
once and for all.
Tonight, we are all going
on the patch.
Agreed.
GARY:
You know what?
I'm gonna go to the store
right now and buy them!
Perhaps we should stick together
for the next three days.
Good idea.
I was totally
going to smoke.
It wasn't easy.
I mean, quitting smoking
can be very stressful.
You got a problem with me?!
You got a problem
with me,
just say it!
I have got a
problem with you!
Both of you stop screaming!
Oh, how hard can
it really be, huh?
RAJA:
Easy.
If we do this together.
Hey, Claire.
Hey.
Listen, I've noticed
how upset you've been about us over
the last few days,
and I got to be honest,
I'm hurting, too.
Okay.
I don't want to make
a big thing about this,
but I need
you in my life.
There's nobody
else like you.
Your body, your face,
your hair, et cetera.
Jeffrey, I don't want
to get back together.
(chuckles)
Okay, okay.
I mean, it's Veterans Day.
No.
Sorry, Jeffrey.
But it's Veterans Day!
You came.
That's great.
I'm sorry, did someone
say something?
What?
There it was again.
Where is that noise
coming from?
All right, you
little ***.
I've tried,
but I'm through.
And I don't need you.
So lock your window.
I'm not coming into
your bedroom anymore.
You want it to be
over between us?
Then it's over!
Over!
How you doing?
Fantastic.
I'm getting so
much ***, it's sick.
Me, too.
I've found, like,
four soul mates tonight.
It's not easy having fun
at a party
after you've had a fight
with a girl.
Even if that girl
is your sister.
Of course,
that didn't stop them
from hitting me up for the keg.
And just when I thought things
couldn't get any worse
TIM:
That's the guy.
That's the guy
who tagged your locker!
Hey, Tolchuck!
No one calls me an "***-ho"
and gets away with it.
What? No, no, no.
Leave him alone, Jeffrey!
Stay out of
this, Claire.
Me and your brother
got business.
Would you just listen to me?
Tim is wrong.
Justin's not the one
who tagged your locker.
I couldn't believe it.
For the first time ever,
Claire was about to take
the fall for something I did.
He did it.
Or maybe not.
Him?
He's had a crush on me all year
and didn't like the way
you treated me.
Hey, ***-ho!
Nobody tags my locker!
And nobody steals
my dad's Bobby Darin CDs!
So maybe Claire didn't do
anything that noble,
but it was good enough for me.
We good?
(chuckles)
Yeah.
BOY:
Kiss her!
Look, uh, I think
people are starting to talk about
our little fight.
Should I just go
or something?
No.
If they want to talk, let's give
them something to talk about.
I don't know.
Maybe they are dating.
I guess Claire's made it okay
for me to say this.
I hooked up with my cousin
at a wedding last weekend,
and I'm going
to see him again.