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The Legend of Korra video game is the most unexpected to thing to come out of the avatar
franchise since korra in the series finali. Social justice warriors take note. in this
game you play as a mentally retarded mullato transexual lesbian eskimo who is a strong
independant woman who don't need no man, specifically because her life partner Asami has a waterbed
and pudgy fingers
The game begins in the middle of the action leaving the player with many questions, such
as; where is aang, where are the rest of the polygons, and why is this *** tickling eskimo
hoe fighting the tentacle monsters instead of having sex with them.
I could have sworn this was a japanese game, but maybe it's supposed to be some kind of
lesson for the player. like, it's not the writhing sex crazed tentacle monsters on the
outside that count, but the wriggling *** shaped
abominations within us that matter.
Anyways, after mashing buttons like a retard trying to put on a flannel shirt, the game
cuts to the dumbest fictional sport I can imagine aside from the WNBA.
Pro Bending appears a few times throughout the campaign and again as a stand alone mode,
but it's just mindless. not mindless fun like sex with a woman in a coma mind you, but more
of a chore that takes away from the real draw of this game, the sheer stupidity of the story
After the winning the match Korra walks alone down an alley and sees an old man standing
near three other guys who are neither saying or doing anything threatening as that would
require the creation of costly, non recyclable animation
Korra, being the unrepentant *** that I am, immediately assumes something is wrong and
offers the guy from Big Trouble in Little China help
He laughs in a way that makes you wonder if he is evil or has alzheimers. though I guess
it could be both, like he wants to be evil but keeps forgetting how too and instead of
killing you he asks you if you're his mom, and even though you're clearly 40 years younger
than he is and just as you're about to say something he gets a *** and *** his pants.
i mean, i can't be the only one that does that
Anyways, after knocking korra out and squeezing them *** for a minute, the chi blockers,
angry with korra for beaking into their condo and chewing up all their carpets, have reunited
to block korra's ability to bend anything aside from my ***
in order to get us back to where we were at the end of the first season before avatar
aang jumped out of korra's delicious chocolate glazed donut looking buthole gave her the
good touch in the bad place, thereby fixing everything instantly for no
*** reason
You now wonder the streets of blandsville searching for absolutely nothing in particular
while karate kicking the same three idiots until you get bored and decide to look "blue
waffle" on google image search instead the combat, even when fully unlocked is pretty
basic with less than a dozen moves available in total and you'll be left wondering if Korra
isn't saving her more fancy fist flurries for Asami's open mouthed pastrami.
At the end of the level, as with most levels, Korra completely negates the entire concept
of fighting her way through an area by calling her polar bear dog and running away like a
retarded *** What follows is your typical Ipad Auto runner
game that you'd usually play while dropping a log, which is fitting because this mini
game is a steaming pile of monke *** Now to truly understand the stupidity of this
game, you have to witness how korra gets her bending back.
You'd think this would be good place to grow her as a character, explore her personality
flaws, and make Korra confront her weaknesses.
Instead, the third sexiest of Tenzin's children appears out of nowhere, levitates in the air
above your face by projectile queefing, and randomly assigns you tasks like breaking pots
and dodging attacks to regain your powers
The 4 flavors of bending are varied insomuch that firebending is good for quickly hitting
enemies that the *** camera is hiding offscreen, earth bending is good for one fight against
a big scubasuit tank air bending covers the entire screen with
projectiles, turning combat into an absolute joke, and water bending is worthless horseshit
that only a complete *** idiot would both with
Speaking of variations, allow me to show you every enemy in the game in less than 10 seconds
Generally speaking, you fight three flavors of chi blockers that all fight exactly the
same, punch a scuba tank mid level, and end the level by fighting the same three element
bending triads over and over; occasionally reskinned as bunnies for some reason.
The game is fairly brief and won't take you more than 5 hours to beat on normal and another
3 hours for expert mode, but by then you'll be so overpowered there won't be any real
challenge, save for that level where you die in one hit from the three tanks. that level
can lick my balls, it can suck my ***, and it can hold me tight and snuggle. To that
point, for this review
Let's skip ahead to the final boss. After walking through the area outside of the ghost
level in mario 64 you reach a cliff and learn the meaning of life.
[there is no light or dark. to fight another is to fight yourself. let go]
And to celebrate this universal oneness, this awakening to the shared soul of mankind, you
brutally *** every man, spirit, and scuba steve in site
Then, for no reason what so ever save to end the game quicker and save some money, Fu Man
Jew decides to tell you his incredably vague motivation that after playing the game 3 times
I still don't know and attacks you when he could have just as easily snapped
your neck like a twig at the begining of the game. You'd think there would be some mention
of him tricking Korra into reconnection with her bending in order to bring back the past
avatar spirits that she lost at the end of the first season in order to kill the avatar
spirit for good. Instead he reveals that he has a retarded monkey growing out of his ***,
screams like lou farigno shooting a load and dies almost instantly without requiring you
to use any of the skills you learned during the game.
Overall this game is ok, if you can get if for three dollars you should play it. There's
some nice *** in it, although to be fair *** on a lesbian is like having nipples
on a tomcat. sure you can use your superior man strength to hold it down and suck on them.
butyou wind up with your face all scratched up and hair in your teeth. thank you for your
time and goodbye.