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But wait, folks!
There's more!
Don't turn that channel just yet.
With groundbreaking new technology that we used in this amazing new product,
we can change the world together.
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Did you hear that, folks?
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Not 20,500.
Not 20,069!
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And if you order now,
we'll throw in this beachball.
*changes channel*
Today...
Thousands of dozens of millions of children,
are suffering from devastating plagues and disease.
They get horrible bumps on their skin that fill with *** and blood.
Their skin turns black and they get marks surrounded by rosy rings.
He, right now?
He has a fever.
Not many even live that long to experience that symptom.
His lymph glands are swelling.
He has diarrhea and he is vomiting.
He is losing a lot of blood and fluid, which will eventually kill him.
I-I can't describe how painful this disease is guys, but...
but, you... you TV listener, you can be the one.
Diseases show no mercy, but you...
you TV listener... watcher...
you can.
The time is now!
Act now to change the future of young children.
Don't hesitate.
Adopt a child and provide him the necessary food,
and care that he needs to survive-
*changes channel*
*violent coughing*
Nathaniel, I'm sick. Very sick.
You're going to have to live with uncle...
*violent coughing*
Alexander for a long, long time.
But mommy, I don't want to leave you.
I know, son.
*coughs*
I'm sick.
*coughs*
I don't want you to catch...
...what I have.
Alexander...
I don't think I'm going to make it.
*violent coughing*
I'm going to die.
I just know it.
Please...
Take care of Nathaniel.
*violent coughing*
*On TV*
Come on, Nathaniel.
We have to go.
So hurry and say goodbye.
I love you.
I love you mommy.
Take care, Nathaniel.
*kisses*
*changes channel*
Duke, I must say!
This disease is killing many of our people!
We must ask God for our forgiveness!
It's not the gods!
It's the rats!
And the dirty conditions of the city!
I just know it!
No!
It is not the disease.
Paris, being even one of the cleanest cities in Europe
is having trouble with the disease.
It's the Saints; they're angry with us!
We must find out why and have them forgive us!
If this disease goes on, it may kill one third of Europe
and we will not have enough farmers and workers to feed our people-
Forget this nonsense about the Saints!
I've got people who want to live, and a city to tend to!
I'm gonna go off to tend to it!
*changes channel*
*changes channel*
Good Doctor Cornelius!
'Ello!
Oh, Dr. Cornelius, my son is suffering from a horrible illness.
Surely you can help cure him of it!
Well then, let's have a look, shall we?
I know a remedy for this!
All he has to do, is take this magical mixture,
of eggshells and marigold petals,
for approximately one month,
every day and night.
And he'll be better in a jiffy.
Oh, you're a savior, Dr. Cornelius!
I didn't believe he'd ever be cured!
Oh, it's no problem at all, ma'am.
*changes channel*
Plus!
Buy now and receive your very own Slap Chop!
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*changes channel*
*speaking chinese*
Welcome, students!
Today, we talk about the Black Death.
Our first meeting...
is on Quarantine.
Quarantine, is when the sick are separated from the well...
to keep the disease from spreading.
To contain it.
As you may know,
the Black Death originated in China,
where it soon spread to Europe,
through rats,
killing one third of the population.
Had the chinese realized their mistake,
they could have prevented millions of people from dying...
through quarantine.
Some good means of quarantine,
are to put people on islands, or prisons, across the world.
A more extreme method involves killing people,
before they can spread the disease.
That is all.
*speaks chinese*
*changes channel*
But you have to eat the fried goat!
It's the only way!
Beware of the fleas!
The fleas, they carry it!
They pass it on!
Beware-
Somebody get that crazy old man out of here!
Remember this day men,
for today, we dine in hell!
For now we fight the Black Death!
*changes channel*
Captions provided by Astonishing Pie - 2012