Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
(John H.) ALL RIGHT, AMERICA!
'TIS THE SEASON TO BE FREEZIN'... AND WIPIN' OUT.
(chirping)
AAH!
WHEN WE TURN THE WORLD'S MOST EXTRAORDINARY OBSTACLE COURSE
(wind whistles)
WHERE 24 COMPETITORS ARE ABOUT TO GO HEAD-TO-HEAD
OOH! AAH!
AAH!
AAH!
AND BONE-CHILLING TUMBLES.
ONLY THREE WILL ADVANCE IN THE BITTER COLD TO FACE
(wind whistles)
THE EPIC COMPETITION BEGINS NOW.
ONE WILL BECOME A CHAMPION, BUT ALL...
WILL WIPEOUT.
(woman) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
HELLO, AMERICA, AND WELCOME BACK TO WINTER "WIPEOUT."
I'M JOHN ANDERSON ALONGSIDE
THE ALWAYS INTRIGUING JOHN HENSON.
JOHNNY, UH, I DON'T WANT TO INTERRUPT,
BUT THE SHOW HAS STARTED. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT'S THAT?
EXACTLY. HE LIVES RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM THE KRAKEN.
(thunder crashes)
MAY ALL OUR OBSTACLES BE LEGENDARY
AND OUR WIPEOUTS BE SUPER-FREAKING JUICY.
AMEN. TONIGHT, A WHOLE NEW BUNCH OF CONTESTANTS
WILL BE LOOKING FOR A MIRACLE AS THEY COMPETE FOR $50,000.
THEIR FIRST CHALLENGE
ON OUR ALL-NEW WINTER WONDERLAND QUALIFIER--
OOH! OH, WHAT IS IT?
(laughs evilly)
THAT'S FOLLOWED BY THE SNOW-TIVATOR,
THE BIGGER THEY COME, THE HARDER YOU FALL.
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE POLAR BEARS...
ANYTHING BUT CONTESTANTS.
AND FINALLY IT'S ON TO THE YULE LOGJAM...
WITH ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL.
I AM NOT. NO CHANCE.
OF OUR 24 CONTESTANTS, ONLY THE TOP 12 TIMES
WILL MOVE ON TO THE SECOND ROUND,
SO LET'S GET RIGHT DOWN TO OUR FIRST CONTESTANT--
THE EYE-POPPING AND STYLISH ANTHONY BLAKE.
(whooshing sounds)
JOHN, DID YOU KNOW
ANTHONY LOST WEIGHT TO BE ON "WIPEOUT"?
THIS IS WHY WE HAVE THE THIRD MEMBER OF OUR CREW, JILL WAGNER.
I DID. I LOST 55 POUNDS.
TO SEE THE SKINNIER PEOPLE
THAT I WILL HAVE TO COMPETE WITH,
WHAT KIND OF EXERCISES DO YOU DO?
(John H.) RICHARD SIMMONS, EAT YOUR HEART OUT.
(boing)
WHOO!
(laughs) WHAT--WHAT IS THAT?
OKAY.
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MY SIX-PACK AND, UM...
YOU CAN.
(John H.) HE'S GOT A SIX-PACK, JILL. HE JUST OPENED UP
(John A.) KINDNESS FIRST, JOHN.
THERE'S THE SNOWMAN. THERE'S THE HORN.
THERE'S ANTHONY RUNNING. WHERE'S THE SURPRISE?
NOTHING'S HAPPENING.
OH, HO, HO!
JOHN, THAT WAS AWESOME.
AAH! AAH! AAH! WHOO!
SEE, I'M SURPRISED YOU ACTUALLY PUT THAT TOGETHER
(snowman laughs evilly)
OH, HO, HO!
OHH! YOU KNOW, IF HE ONLY HAD ABOUT 55 MORE POUNDS,
AAH! AAH!
OHH! BOY!
I THINK THAT KNOCKED HIS TIGHTS LOOSE.
ANTHONY WITH A SLOW ASCENT UP TO THE SNOW-TIVATOR.
I'M NOT GIVING UP! BIG RED BALLS, HERE I COME! WHOO!
WELL, ANTHONY CLEARLY NEEDS NO MOTIVATION.
WHOO!
AIRBORNE! WHOA! REPLAY, PLEASE.
AND ANOTHER GREAT WORKOUT FROM ANTHONY.
WHOO!
ANTHONY READY TO WORK IT ON THE POLAR BEAR EXPRESS NOW.
AND APPARENTLY, ANTHONY WOULD LIKE US TO CHEER FOR HIM.
ANTHONY GETTING PUMMELED BY SNOWBALLS.
AND, OH, DEAR LORD-- EXERCISING POOR JUDGMENT.
(normal voice) THAT POLAR BEAR WILL NOT KEEP HIS NOSE
AAH! WHOO!
OH! AND IT GETS HIM IN THE END.
YOU KNOW, FOR INANIMATE OBJECTS, THESE OBSTACLES ARE
(roars)
I'M COMING FOR YOU.
ANTHONY WITH A LIGHTWEIGHT TAUNT AT THE YULE LOGJAM.
OBJECT HERE-- JUMP ONTO THAT FIRST LOG,
MAKE IT PAST THE SWEEPER, JUMP THROUGH THE GOLD RING
AND ONTO THE FINAL PLATFORM. IF THAT PLAN DOESN'T WORK,
ANTHONY MAKES IT ONTO THE YULE LOG.
OH! A SNOWBALL TO THE FOOT TOOK HIM DOWN.
DID HE SAY A "CHANT"? ALL RIGHT.
TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT.
ANTHONY, YOU'RE DOING... PRETTY WELL UP TO THIS POINT.
YOU DIDN'T MEAN "GREAT"?
OH, HO! IT IS RAINING SPANDEX.
AAH! AAH!
WE'RE JUST LAUGHING WITH EVERYONE ELSE.
NEVERTHELESS, ANTHONY TURNS IN A TIGHTS PERFORMANCE
YES!
WELL, JOHN, AT THE TOP OF THE COURSE IS
(coyote howls)
OH, GOD. I THINK I'M BLACKING OUT.
USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE, PLEASE! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!
THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT HORN.
RACHEL NOW STEPPING ONTO THE SNOWMAN SURPRISE.
YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS HARD?
OHH! HOLLA!
WELL, AT LEAST NOW SHE LOOKS FOCUSED,
(high-pitched screaming)
OH!
OH! EVEN THE EARMUFFS CAN'T PROTECT OUR SNOWMAN
(high-pitched screaming)
HERE I GO.
HOLY CRAP. (high-pitched screaming)
SPOKE TOO SOON.
I AGREE. WHO'S NEXT ON THE SNOWMAN SURPRISE?
OHH!
(growling)
THIS IS KYLE GREILICH, AND I AM GUESSING
BEWARE THE BEAST!
(grunts) OH!
BUT WHY DOES HE CALL HIMSELF A BEAST?
WHOA!
KYLE, UH, I'M REALLY DIGGING THE HOLIDAY SWEATER.
YEAH, I LIKE TO KEEP IT NICE AND SOFT.
(John H.) WITH WHAT, A WET VAC?
(John H.) QUICK REMINDER, FOLKS--
(growling)
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE IN STORE FOR A CLASSIC SHOWDOWN
BEATS ME.
HEY, BUDDY. FOLLOW ME.
TALK ABOUT KINDRED SPIRITS, JOHNNY.
HE IS TEARING UP THE POLAR BEAR EXPRESS, JOHN.
(Jill) GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
OH! SERIOUSLY, OUR OTHER CONTESTANTS BETTER WATCH OUT.
THERE'S A BEAST CROSSING FOR THE NEXT THREE MILES.
OOH! LOOK AT KYLE USE THAT MANE FOR PROTECTION.
GIVE HIM A BREAK, JILL. HE'S JUST TRYING TO SHAVE FACE.
I MEAN, SAVE FACE.
WELL, THE BEAST MAKES IT ONTO THE YULE LOG.
YOU KNOW, THIS REMINDS ME-- MRS. ANDERSON WOULD LIKE
NEW *** CARPET FOR THE KIDS' ROOM. OH!
LET'S SEE IF THIS FUZZY LITTLE FELLA IS
TRAINED TO JUMP THROUGH HOOPS, HUH?
HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE. WHOA!
OH! KYLE LETS HIS HAIR DOWN.
SASQUATCH DOWN.
OH, HE'S WET. GREAT. NOW HE'S GONNA STINK.
COMING IN WITH A TIME AROUND 3 1/2 MINUTES,
YEAH!
HERE'S TO YOU, MY FRIEND.
BIG BALLS AND HOT WINGS?
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS, JOHN,
AND THIS POTENTIAL CHAMP IS 23 YEAR OLD ALISON AULT.
BIG BALLS, I'M THINKING ABOUT HOT WINGS.
I WOULD LOVE TO GET ME SOME HOT WINGS.
GREAT. NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT HOT WINGS.
MAYBE THOSE HOT WINGS WILL CARRY HER ACROSS THE BIG BALLS.
OH, GOODNESS!
AAH!
A HUMAN WHAT?
A HUMAN HOT WING. TALK ABOUT A ONE-TRACK MIND.
LET'S FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THIS SOPHISTICATED LADY. JILL?
MY NICKNAME IS PUKE AND RALLY ALI.
(John H.) WOW. SHE'S GOT BUTT LOADS OF CLASS.
DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT.
(John H.) AT A PEP RALLY? ONLY ONCE.
(John A.) WELL, WE KNOW NOW NOT TO COUNT HER OUT.
(grunts)
AAH!
ALI OOPS? ALI OUCH! GAG ME WITH A LOG.
I'M NOT SURE HOW YOU RALLY THROUGH THAT.
THIS IS PROBABLY NOT THE END OF ALI,
AAH!
OH!
OH!
OH! GLAD THAT'S NOT MY MAMA.
WELL, MY FRIEND, MAMA TINA HAS LOTS OF COMPANY
CRASHING INTO OUR SURPRISE PARTY.
OH! BALLOONS!
OOH! STREAMERS!
HEE HEE!
(noisemaker honks)
WHOO!
OH! PIN THE WALL ON THE CONTESTANT--
OHH!
OH!
THAT'S ANTHONY TRAFICANTE...
AND HE PUSHES HIMSELF RIGHT THROUGH THE SNOWMAN SURPRISE.
"WIPEOUT"! HERE I COME, BIG BALLS! YEAH!
AND HE IS ON THE FAST TRACK TO A BIG BALLS VILLE.
YEAH!
GIVE THAT GUY THE KEY TO THE CITY.
WIPEOUT LIKE THAT KEEP ME GETTING UP IN THE MORNING.
ANTHONY WROTE ON HIS BIO THAT HIS WIFE IS
WELL, NO WONDER HE'S IN SUCH A HURRY.
MM-HMM.
AND HE IS SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR.
AAH!
OUR FIRST CONTESTANT TODAY TO MAKE IT.
OH! THIS IS HARD! OH!
WHAT IN THE WORLD?!
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT MY DAD SAID WHEN I WAS BORN.
THAT'S INCREDIBLY SWEET.
AAH!
OH, HO, HO! LOOKS LIKE EXHAUSTION
FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH HIM, AND IT'LL PROBABLY STAY WITH HIM
CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A RECORD.
OH! (pants)
HAVE A CIGAR, EVERYBODY.
(chirping)
WHOA! SHE SPEAKS DOLPHIN.
YOU KNOW, I TOOK DOLPHIN AS A SECOND LANGUAGE IN COLLEGE.
(chirps)
(normal voice) NO, I'M AFRAID NOT. I'M MARRIED.
(chirps)
I DON'T THINK I CAN REPEAT THAT. JILL?
(chirps)
(John H.) SHE SAID SHE LOVES SWIMMING WITH DOLPHINS, JOHN.
YOU'VE ACTUALLY WENT SWIMMING WITH DOLPHINS?
(John H.) NOT JUST SWIMMING.
(chirps)
(John H.) NO. ARE YOU AFRAID THAT KITTENS WILL EAT YOU, JILL?
THE SOUND OF THAT HORN SENDS VICKY, OUR DOLPHIN WHISPERER,
CHARGING ACROSS THE SNOWMAN SURPRISE LIKE THERE IS
AAH!
OH! SHE GOES INTO THE WATER, WHERE SHE'S MOST AT HOME.
BUT IF WE EXAMINE THE VIDEO, YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE EVIDENCE...
OF SABOTAGE BY A KILLER WHALE.
WHEN WILL IT END, JOHN?
VICKY NOW BACK UP FOR ANOTHER GO.
OHH!
SHE NEEDED THAT LIKE SHE NEEDED A BLOWHOLE IN THE HEAD.
AAH! (grunts)
(cheers and applause)
WELL, I THINK NOW'S A PERFECT TIME
(chirps)
UH, WELL, I HAD TO TAKE A SECOND LANGUAGE,
PIG LATIN?
YEAH. IT WAS A TRADE SCHOOL.
ALL RIGHT. STAY TUNED. WE WILL BE SPEAKING
AAH!
(man speaks indistinctly)
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO WINTER "WIPEOUT,"
WHERE OUR PERMAFROSTED CONTESTANTS
HAVE BEEN SERVING UP THE COLDEST WIPEOUTS
SNOW TRUE, ANDERSON.
MM-HMM.
IT'S LIKE MOTHER NATURE'S OWN FREE SHERBET.
UH, BUT AVOID THE LEMON,
NOTED. GOOD ADVICE, THOUGH, FROM AN EXPERT RIGHT HERE.
FROM OUR FIELD OF 24, WE ARE ABOUT TO FIND OUT
WHICH 12 CONTESTANTS WILL SURVIVE
AND CONTINUE THEIR QUEST FOR THE $50,000.
JILL, WHO DO WE HAVE NEXT?
ALL RIGHT, I'M DOWN HERE WITH TYLER RUSH PECHAK.
TYLER, COOL NAME. HOW'D YOU GET IT?
(John H.) HEY, PECHAK'S MY FAVORITE BAND!
OH.
YEAH, I'M A--I'M A ***-POPPING PROFESSIONAL,
SHOW ME.
YEAH!
(John H.) OH, I THINK HE'S ABOUT TO TURN INTO HIS ALTER EGO,
***-POPPIN'. YEAH, WHY YOU STOPPIN'?
♪ WINTER "WIPEOUT," WINTER "WIPEOUT," YEAH, DA-DA! ♪
THERE IS THE HORN, AND TYLER IS... NOT OFF.
WELL, ONCE YOU POP, YOU CAN'T STOP.
IT TAKES A FOGHORN TO FINALLY GET TYLER AND HIS *** MOVING.
(snowman) HEY, WHAT'S UP?
OH, HO, HO! THIS GUY POPS FROM BOTH ENDS.
♪ WIKI, WIKI, WIKI, WIKI, GET UP ♪
OUR *** POPPER UP, DOING THE RUNNING MAN AGAIN.
OH! WOW!
HE'S EVEN BETTER AT DOING THE FALLING MAN.
YEAH, I WONDER WHY THE FALLING MAN NEVER CAUGHT ON, JOHN.
TYLER NOW SHAKING HIS THANG UP TO THE SNOW-TIVATOR.
AAH!
WHOA! (laughs)
HE IS FLYING THROUGH THE AIR LIKE *** POPPINS.
SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS THE WIPEOUT GO DOWN, JOHNNY.
CHECK OUT 19 YEAR OLD SHANNON ROHAN.
AH, BUT CAN SHE OUTWIT OUR POLAR BEAR?
AAH!
AH! THAT SMARTS. LET'S GET HER STORY FROM JILL.
THANK YOU.
HOW ARE YOU GONNA WIN THIS THING?
(John H.) WELL, THAT OUGHTA COME IN HANDY.
LITTLE MISS PIGGY.
(John A.) DOLPHINS AND POLAR BEARS AND PIGS...
(John H.) OH, MY!
PIGGY IS ABOUT TO GO HOG WILD ON THE YULE LOGJAM.
OH, MY GOD.
DIRTY PIGGY ONTO THAT FIRST LOG, ROOTING ALONG ON ALL FOURS.
YEAH, IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S TRYING TO WALLOW THROUGH,
SHANNON TRYING TO HOOF IT OVER THE GAP.
OH, HO!
OH! AND OUR PRETTY PIGGY GOES INTO THE TROUGH.
(slo-mo voice) OH!
STICK A SPORK IN HER. SHE'S DONE.
WELL, SHANNON STILL COMES IN WITH A PRETTY STRONG TIME, JOHN.
3:12-- GOOD SHOT AT MOVING ON.
NOW IT'S 45-YEAR-OLD PITTSBURGH NATIVE RICK CONLON
AAH!
OH, HO!
PITTSBURGH PIVOT--WHAT IS THAT?
I HAVE NO IDEA, BUT I'M GONNA TRADEMARK IT,
AAH!
OH, HO, HO! THE TIJUANA TUMBLE...
NICE!
OH! THAT'S MY FAVORITE.
GRAD STUDENT DUSTIN BROWER
OH!
WHOA, OH! THAT WAS ONE GOOD-LOOKING WIPEOUT.
NO SURPRISE THERE. JILL FOUND OUT THINGS COME A LITTLE EASIER
TELL ME ABOUT IT, JOHNNY. STORY OF MY LIFE.
YOU KNOW, I-I THINK I MIGHT KNOW HOW YOU CAN WIN "WIPEOUT,"
BUT I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU.
PLEASE? PRETTY PLEASE?
(John H.) NICE TRY, PRETTY BOY.
WAGNER WILL NEVER CRACK.
(John H.) THAT WAS QUICK.
YOU'RE SO CHARMING. ALL RIGHT, WELL, HERE'S THE TRICK.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
(John A.), JOHN, I THINK THE STUD IS HAVING DIFFICULTY
PROCESSING THAT INFORMATION.
DUSTIN HEADED TOWARD THE YULE LOG JAM. OH!
SMART PLAY THERE, THOUGH.
PROTECT THE MONEYMAKER FROM SNOWBALLS,
WHOA! HOW YOU DOING?
ANOTHER GOOD-LOOKING MOVE THROUGH THE RING.
THE LOGJAM LETTING HIM SLIDE.
STRUGGLING TO STAY--OH!
OH! SEDUCED BY HIS OWN REFLECTION.
STUDLY STUDENT BUSTING SOME SMOOTH MOVES.
HE DOES HAVE A WAY WITH WOMEN,
(grunts)
THAT BRINGS US TO OUR FINAL CONTESTANT OF THE DAY--
AAH! OH!
I AIN'T NO QUITTER, AND YOU KNOW IT!
I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE THAT HIT KNOCKED SOME MEMORIES LOOSE.
WELL, FORTUNATELY, I DON'T THINK SHE'S GONNA REMEMBER
YOU KNOW, JILL'S LEARNED ASURE HAS A HISTORY
OF QUITTING AT PROFESSIONAL LEVEL, JOHN.
I WAS A PRO SOCCER PLAYER FOR THREE DAYS.
THREE DAYS? AFTER YOU WENT PRO? I DON'T GET IT.
(John H.) WELL, THEY DO FROWN UPON MARRIAGE IN THE PROS.
LOVE GOT IN THE WAY OF YOUR DREAMS.
(John A.) WELL, THE ONLY THING STANDING IN THE WAY
OF ASURE'S DREAM OF CONQUERING THE QUALIFIER--
AAH! WHOO!
HUH!
SHE WENT FOR A BICYCLE KICK BUT DROPPED OUT
WHOO!
WELL, ASURE HASN'T THROWN IN THE TOWEL YET.
(Jill) COME ON, ASURE! DON'T QUIT!
OF COURSE NOT, JILL. ASURE FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH EVERYTHING,
(grunts)
TAKES A DIVE ON THE YULE LOG JAM.
NO YELLOW CARD. KEEPS MOVING AND MAKES THAT SECOND LOG.
BUT THE GOLD RING IS LETTING HER HAVE IT.
SHE'S UP, SHE'S IN...
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD BEND LIKE THAT.
WELL, THE QUITTER'S PRETTY SHAKEN UP,
AAH!
(Jill) OOH!
AAH!
NOTHING BUT NECK.
2 1/2 MINUTES HER MARK. ASURE, THOUGH,
OH, FLIP!
MOVING ON ALONG WITH HER, THE HAIRY BEAST KYLE GREILICH,
PUKE AND RALLY ALI AULT,
(Anthony) YEAH!
ALSO MOVING ON IS *** POP TYLER PECHAK,
(Shannon oinks)
STICK AROUND, AMERICA.
AAH!
ON OUR SKI LIFT, AND ONLY SIX WILL ADVANCE.
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
HELLO, WORLD, AND WELCOME BACK TO WINTER "WIPEOUT"...
YEAH, WHERE IT'S ALL WINTER, ALL THE TIME...
UNTIL SPRING, FOLLOWED BY SUMMER,
THEN FALL, WHICH LEADS TO WINTER ALL THE TIME.
PERFECT. 12 CONTESTANTS HAVE WEATHERED THE QUALIFIER
AND ADVANCED. THAT GROUP INCLUDES
(Kyle) BEWARE THE BEAST!
PUKE AND RALLY ALI AULT,
AND BABY DADDY ANTHONY TRAFICANTE.
ALSO STILL IN IT, *** POP TYLER PECHAK,
RICK "PITTSBURGH PIVOT" CONLON, AND THE QUITTER ASURE WILLIAMS.
AND NOW, MY FRIEND,
THEY'RE ABOUT TO TAKE A WILD RIDE ON OUR SKI LIFT.
CONTESTANTS WILL START ON ELEVATED PLATFORMS
10 FEET ABOVE ICY COLD WATER, AS THE SKI LIFT MOVES
IN A CIRCULAR MOTION. THEN THEY HAVE TO HANG ON
TO THE HANDLE BARS, LIFTING THEMSELVES OVER
(grunts)
IF THAT'S NOT DIFFICULT ENOUGH, THE SWEEPER ARMS WILL RISE
HIGHER AND HIGHER AS THEY GO AROUND. THE LAST SIX CONTESTANTS
STANDING WILL MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND,
AND THE ONES WHO DON'T MAKE IT
DON'T EXAGGERATE, JOHNNY.
LET'S GET DOWN TO THE ACTION.
♪ WIPEOUT, EVERYBODY, WIPEOUT ♪
FEATURING THE VOCAL STYLINGS
OF CONTESTANT JENNIFER BROWN FROM CHICAGO.
THE QUITTER SEEMS COMMITTED.
YOU'RE NOT IN THE NURSERY ANYMORE, BABY DADDY.
AND FURRY.
DON'T FORGET "FURRY," YOU HAIRY BEAST.
TIME TO START THE SKI LIFT. KEEP THOSE TIPS UP.
INSPIRING TALK FROM THE QUITTER.
(Asure) I AIN'T NO QUITTER, AND YOU KNOW IT!
THE SWEEPER ARM STARTING TO WHIRL,
AND AGAIN, THEY'LL GET
AAH!
PRETTY PIGGY HOPING THIS COURSE IS KOSHER.
WHOA!
(woman speaks indistinctly)
JENNIFER BROWN-- A QUICK OPENING ACT.
OUR FIRST CONTESTANT DOWN,
♪ WIPEOUT, EVERYBODY, WIPEOUT ♪
AAH!
OH! A SECOND CONTESTANT TAKEN OUT.
AAH! AAH!
QUICKLY, THREE DOWN.
THIS IS GETTING EXCITING!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
OH!
OH, HO, HO! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHO WAS THAT?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW THAT WE CAN IDENTIFY HER NOW.
OH, HO, HO!
BACK TO THE LIVE ACTION. WE HAVE FOUR WAY OUT,
AND WE'RE LOOKING FOR TWO MORE TO STILL WIPEOUT.
WHO'S THAT GRUNTING?
COME ON. THAT'S RICK CONLON, MASTER OF THE PITTSBURGH PIVOT,
RIGHT? TRYING TO AVOID A PITTSBURGH PLUMMET.
WHEE! AND THE FIFTH ONE IN THE WATER.
CHECK MY MATH, JOHNNY.
ONE MORE DROPS, WE HAVE OUR FINAL SIX.
ONE MORE! LET'S GO, FUR BALL!
(Kyle) HEY!
WHO'S JEALOUS OF MY MAN FUR? YEAH!
I'M NOT. FUR IS ***, JOHN.
*** POP TURNS THE OTHER CHEEK.
AND HERE COMES OUR PRETTY PIGGY.
(deepens voice) PIGS IN SPACE!
PITTSBURGH PIVOT REALLY STRAINING
TO CLEAR THE SWEEPER ARM. IT'S AWFULLY HIGH.
AAH!
(air horn blows)
RICK MAKES A PIT STOP, AND NOW WE'RE DOWN TO OUR FINAL SIX.
MOVING ON, WE HAVE PRETTY PIGGY, RIGHT BEHIND HER IS THE QUITTER.
WE ALSO HAVE BABY DADDY AND STUDLY STUDENT...
*** POP...
AND OF COURSE, OUR RESIDENT WOOKIEE HAIRY BEAST.
(wookiee growls)
LAUGH IT UP, FUZZ BALL.
THESE SIX ALL MOVING ON
AND ALL STILL BATTLING FOR THAT $1,000 BONUS.
AAH!
OH! THE QUITTER DESTROYED,
(Anthony) YEAH!
AHH!
OH, HO, HO, HO! THE HAIRY BEAST OUTLASTS HER
BY THE HAIR OF HIS CHINNY CHIN BACK.
CRACKED TWO, AND WE HAVE OUR FINAL FOUR,
COME ON, LITTLE GIRL!
OH, GOD. I HATE THIS ONE. (squealing)
PRETTY PIGGY POPPING A SQUEALIE.
SHE IS REALLY GETTING PIGGY WITH IT.
SHE GETS HIT IN THE PORK BELLY THERE,
WELL, SHE WANTS TO BRING HOME THE BACON, JOHNNY.
(Anthony) HOLY MACKEREL! YOU ARE STRONG!
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY DADDY, BUT OUR PRETTY PIGGY IS
(Anthony) YOU CAN'T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER!
OH!
OH! PRETTY PIGGY, STY-ONARA.
AAH!
HUFFED AND PUFFED AND BLEW HER HOUSE DOWN.
SO NOW WE'RE DOWN TO THE FINAL THREE...
THE STUDLY STUDENT, *** POP...
AND BABY DADDY ALL FIGHTING FOR THAT EXTRA 1,000 BUCKS.
HELL, NO, D. I GOT A BABY COMING.
I GOTTA PAY FOR GRAD SCHOOL. THAT'S MORE EXPENSIVE.
YEAH, BUT YOU CAN'T TEACH GOOD LOOKS,
(Tyler) I THINK I GOTTA PAY FOR NEW UNDERWEAR, MAN. I GOTTA PEE.
(grunts)
OH! THE STUDLY STUDENT TAKES A RIDE
AND GETS TRANSFERRED TO AN ICY LEAGUE SCHOOL.
AND THE 12 ARE NOW 2--
(Anthony) COME ON, DUDE. I GOT A BABY COMING. FALL DOWN.
BABY DADDY IMPARTING A LITTLE FATHERLY ADVICE.
(grunts)
WITH A $1,000 BONUS ON THE LINE,
(Anthony) EAT IT! FALL!
BABY DADDY TRYING TO DROP *** POP.
TAKES A BLOW. OH! SWINGING WILDLY.
LOSES PARENTAL CONTROL.
BIG PAPA DROPPED BY *** POP,
AND HIS *** CAN'T BE STOPPED.
HE'S MOVING ON, ALONG WITH BABY DADDY ANTHONY TRAFICANTE,
DUSTIN "THE STUDLY STUDENT" BROWER,
(pig oinks)
KYLE "THE HAIRY BEAST" GREILICH, AND THE QUITTER ASURE WILLIAMS.
(Asure) I AIN'T NO QUITTER, AND YOU KNOW IT!
BUT BEFORE THEY REACH THE WIPEOUT ZONE AND $50,000,
THEY HAVE TO CONQUER AN ALL-NEW COURSE
OH!
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
WE ARE BACK ON WINTER "WIPEOUT," AMERICA,
AND SO PLEASED YOU COULD BE WITH US.
WE ARE DOWN TO 12 CONTESTANTS
FROM THE FIELD OF 24 THAT STARTED THE DAY.
STILL IN THE RUNNING FOR THE 50 LARGE,
WE HAVE TYLER "*** POP" PECHAK,
(Anthony) YEAH!
AND STUDLY STUDENT DUSTIN BROWER.
(Shannon oinks)
KYLE "THE HAIRY BEAST" GREILICH, AND THE QUITTER ASURE WILLIAMS.
YOU KNOW, JOHN, AS AN AVID EXPLORER,
I TRAVEL THE GLOBE LOOKING FOR NEW AND EXOTIC LOCALES,
AND IT WAS ON ONE SUCH EXPEDITION
THAT I DISCOVERED A TRIBE OF SAVAGES BUILDING
A CRUDE STRUCTURE THAT I'VE CHOSEN AS OUR NEXT OBSTACLE--
MOUNT WIPEOUT CHALET.
YOU DISCOVERED IT, HUH? RIGHT HERE ON OUR COURSE?
WELL, YEAH, BUT IT WAS, LIKE, WAY OVER THERE,
AND THE SAVAGES--THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN CREW GUYS?
MAYBE. BUT THEY SOLD IT TO ME FOR A HANDFUL OF COLORED MARBLES
ARE YOU STRETCHING IT A LITTLE?
MM-HMM. HERE'S HOW THIS THING WORKS.
THERE ARE THREE ROUNDS, ALL BEGINNING WITH A WINTRY WHIRL
ON ONE OF OUR CLASSICS, THE DIZZY DUMMY.
THEN OUR DISORIENTED CONTESTANTS LEAP
ONTO THIS ROTATING PLATFORM, ACROSS THE BOUNCY BOARD,
AAH!
THEN IF THEY'RE LUCKY, THEY'LL FACE THE KNEE SWEEPER,
YEAH!
AND OF COURSE, AT MOUNT WIPEOUT CHALET,
OUR SKI BUNNY AND SNOW DUDE WILL PROVIDE SOME WELCOME GIFTS
THE FIRST CONTESTANTS THROUGH IN EACH ROUND
ALL RIGHT, LET'S COMMENCE WITH THE DIZZYING OF THE DUMMIES.
(man) HERE WE GO. YEAH. ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT.
THIS IS NUTS.
SHUT UP.
BABY DADDY SEEMS TO BE RUNNING OUT OF PATIENCE
WELL, JOHNNY, MAYBE THE DIZZY DUMMY
WILL SPIN SOME SPORTSMANSHIP INTO 'EM. PLAY NICE!
THE QUITTER ASURE WILLIAMS
KNOWS YOU CAN'T QUIT IF YOU DON'T PLAY.
(Kyle) MM!
♪ LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA, LA, LA ♪
(Anthony) SHUT UP, HAIR BALL!
HEY, BABY DADDY, HAIRY BEAST,
DO I HAVE TO SEPARATE YOU TWO? I WILL SEND YOU TO BED
(Kyle) ♪ LA-LA-LA-LA, LA, LA ♪
(air horn blows)
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, ROUND ONE HAS BEGUN.
THANK YOU, JILL, AND AS YOU WOULD EXPECT,
(man) OOH!
BABY DADDY PUSHES TOWARDS THE PLATFORM.
HE'S ON IT, AND HE WIPES OUT PREMATURELY.
STUDLY STUDENT IS NOT JUST A PRETTY FACE.
(tape rewinds)
UH, CHECK THAT. STUDLY STUDENT IS JUST A PRETTY FACE.
(choir) ♪ AHH ♪
OH! UHH!
OH, HO!
OH, HO HO! AND SHE MOMENTARILY EXITS THE COMPETITION.
*** POP AND HAIRY BEAST TRYING TO FIND THE MISSING LINK.
OH, HO!
HAIRY BEAST TAKES A FLEA DIP,
BUT *** POP MAKES IT TO THE CRANKSHAFT.
WELL, JOHN,
WITHOUT EARS, HOW WOULD THE *** KNOW WHEN TO POP?
OH, LOOK! THE SKI BUNNY'S SHARING HER MARSHMALLOWS.
*** POP JUMPS OUT, BUT...
BUT... OH, HO!
OUR CRANKSHAFT LIKES BIG BUTTS.
HAIRY BEAST WIGS OUT AGAIN,
BARELY HANGING ON.
NO, NO, NO! I DON'T THINK SO!
I DON'T THINK SO!
(gurgling) I DON'T THINK SO!
BABY DADDY ON TO THE ROTATING PLATFORM.
AH!
GET YOUR BUTT OFF IT!
MM-HMM.
AND SHE'S BACK AT THE START WHILE BABY DADDY
QUITTER TAKING A BREAK FROM ALL THAT YELLING,
(Anthony) OH, YEAH!
WHILE BABY DADDY TAKES THE LEAD ON THE CRANKSHAFT.
HE'S SAFELY ACROSS. HERE COMES *** POP RIGHT BEHIND HIM.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT GOES PERFECTLY
WITH MARSHMALLOWS-- A NICE STEAMING MUG OF...
YOU GUYS SHOOTING POOP AT US?!
OW! AAH!
WHAT?! (sputters)
NO ONE'S EVER COMPLAINED ABOUT MY HOT CHOCOLATE BEFORE.
AAH! WHY?!
STUDLY STUDENT MAKES IT ACROSS THE CRANKSHAFT.
NOW WE'VE GOT A CUDDLY CROWDED PLATFORM OF THREE, JOHNNY.
THE QUITTER STILL VERY MUCH ALIVE,
*** POP HOPS, SKIPS, AND JUMPS OVER THE KNEE SWEEPER
AND ONTO THE PLATFORM.
QUITTER FIGHTING HER WAY THROUGH. AND--OOH! LOOK AT THAT.
SHE'S GOT AN IRON GRIP ON STUDLY STUDENT'S LEG.
RIGHT ON HIS HEELS, LITERALLY.
OOH!
*** DOWN-- THE DANCE OF DEFEAT.
THE SPINNING BOARD HAS A BABY DADDY ON BOARD.
STUDLY STUDENT CLOSING IN,
HOPPING OVER THOSE KNEE SWEEPERS,
OH, HO HO!
OH, THAT WAS DEFINITELY NOT A GLAMOUR SHOT.
THAT LEAVES BABY DADDY ALONE IN FIRST PLACE.
(air horn blows)
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
WELL, BABY DADDY, SINCE YOU ASKED, I WANT MORE DIZZY DUMMY.
LET'S GO FOR ROUND TWO.
IT'S ALREADY IN MOTION, JOHNNY,
(Kyle) ♪ LA-LA-LA-LA, LA, LA ♪
I HATE THIS PART. I DON'T LIKE HOW IT FEELS.
WELL, JUST TRY TO CONCENTRATE ON HOW HAPPY IT MAKES US.
THAT HORN ENDS THE SPINNING,
BUT THE RACE FOR $50,000 CONTINUES...
SLOWLY.
VERY, VERY SLOWLY.
*** POP IS ABOUT TO BOOT.
(Kyle) AAH!
OH, HO! MISERY LOVES COMPANY, JOHN. AND PORK.
THE QUITTER MAKES THE LEAP.
GET ON IT! AAH!
OH! BUT GIVES UP HER POSITION. HERE COMES THE STUDLY STUDENT,
JUST CHARMING HIS WAY THROUGH THIS COURSEWORK.
LOOK AT HIM, JOHN. HE'S LIKE GOD'S GIFT TO PLATFORMS.
LOOKING DASHING AS HE DASHES AHEAD.
OH, HO!
OH, RIGHT IN THE SNOUT!
STUDLY STUDENT FLIRTS HIS WAY PAST THE CRANKSHAFT.
(bell dings)
PRETTY PIGGY JUMPS AND BANKS ANOTHER OBSTACLE.
STUDLY STUDENT ON THE KNEE SWEEPER,
AND THIS AIN'T NO RUNWAY IN MILAN, GUYS.
*** POP NOT FAR BEHIND ON THE CRANKSHAFT,
JUMP ON! YOU GOT IT!
OOH!
STUDLY STUDENT DROPS LIKE HE'S HOT.
MEANWHILE, WHAT'S GOING ON BACK AT THE START OF THE COURSE?
JOHN, IS THE QUITTER TAPPING OUT?
COULD BE, OR MAYBE SHE JUST NEEDS A TIME-OUT
OR IT'S A TEMPORARY RETIREMENT.
WELL, NOT WHEN YOUR NAME'S "THE QUITTER."
OH, A BREAK.
NOW UP AHEAD,
(oinking)
THAT NOISE MEANS SHE'S HAPPY, JOHN.
HAIRY BEAST PLAYING CATCH-UP,
AND IT'S ESSENTIALLY NOW A 4-WAY TIE FOR THE LEAD.
PRETTY PIGGY REFUSING TO CRY "OINKLE."
SHE COULD BE OUR FIRST GIRL
OOH! AND SHE'S IN THE LEAD.
AND HOW ABOUT THIS, JOHN? THE QUITTER BACK AND ON FIRE!
YEAH, APPARENTLY, IT AIN'T QUITTIN' TIME YET.
PRETTY PIGGY STILL IN FRONT OF THE HERD.
OH!
OUR STUDLY STUDENT ON THE KNEE SWEEPER.
COUNTING ON HIS BEE'S KNEES TO SEE IT THROUGH.
AND HE'S ON.
OH, NO! PRETTY PIGGY GOES FOR THE JUGULAR.
YOU KNOW, LADIES JUST CAN'T KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF HIM.
AND LOOK, JOHNNY, FROM WAY OFF THE RADAR!
GET ON IT!
OH, MOTHER!
OHH! OF COURSE NOT.
ALL RIGHT, STUDLY STUDENT WORKING ON THAT EPIC MOJO.
(Anthony) YES!
(air horn blows)
WHOO!
(deepens voice) AND THE WIPEOUT ZONE
JUST GOT A LITTLE BETTER-LOOKIN'.
(music distorts, stops)
(normal voice) DID I SAY THAT OR JUST HEAR IT?
NO, YOU SAID THAT.
OKAY. LET'S GET BACK TO THE ACTION.
TIME FOR ROUND THREE.
ONLY ONE SPOT LEFT FOR A CHANCE AT 50 GRAND.
(Kyle gagging)
HAIRY BEAST ABOUT TO COUGH UP A FUR BALL.
I KNOW ONE PERSON WHO DOES,
(air horn blows)
THE HORN BLOWS-- AND LOOK AT *** POP.
ROCK ON.
(coughing)
THE QUITTER JUMPING ON FIRST.
SHE MADE A GREAT COMEBACK IN THE LAST ROUND
AND APPEARS REALLY DETERMINED TO MAKE IT TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE
PRETTY PIGGY UP. OOH! AND GETS HER PIGS PUNTED.
QUITTER TROUBLE ON THE CRANKSHAFT.
OOH!
*** POP LOVES THAT GREEN HUE,
AND HE IS BOOGYING ON DOWN THE COURSE.
WAY TO RALLY!
(growling)
HAIRY BEAST ISSUING A BATTLE CRY.
OH, HO HO!
OH! HE GETS BLOWN OFF LIKE A TOUPEE IN A TORNADO.
THAT FIRST OBSTACLE HAS CRUSHED HAIRY BEAST IN EVERY ROUND.
UP FRONT AT THE CRANKSHAFT NOW.
QUITTER HAS ADJUSTED HER ATTITUDE.
MAN, SHE'S PLAYING TO WIN. PRETTY PIG'S FLYING.
JOHN, SHE'S MY LONG SHOT TO TAKE IT TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
OHH!
*** POP TAKING OFF,
(growls)
DIVES FOR THE PLATFORM. NICE JOB OF PULLING HIMSELF UP!
QUITTER RIGHT BEHIND HIM. SHE JUST CAN'T QUIT HIM, JOHN.
JUMPS ACROSS, LANDS ON HER KNEES.
AND NOW THE KNEE SWEEPER AWAITS.
I DON'T THINK SO. JOHNNY.
QUITTER ON THE SPINNING PLATFORM,
JUST A FEW TOUGH YARDS FROM MAKING IT INTO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
YEAH! WHAT JILL SAID.
*** POP IS GONNA NEED A BIG MISTAKE BY QUITTER.
BOTH JUMP. NOT HAPPENING! IT'S THE QUITTER...
EARNING SPOT NUMBER THREE IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
BOOYAH, BABY!
HOLY ADRENALINE, SHE HAS GIVEN UP ON BEING THE QUITTER.
WHOO!
GOOD JOB, ASURE!
ASURE WILLIAMS HEADED TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE,
AND JOINING HER--BABY DADDY ANTHONY TRAFICANTE
AND OUR STUDLY STUDENT DUSTIN BROWER.
STICK AROUND
AS OUR THREE CONTESTANTS DO BATTLE IN THE WIPEOUT ZONE...
FOR $50,000.
♪♪♪
(clank)
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO WINTER "WIPEOUT,"
WHERE IT IS DARK,
WE BEGAN THE DAY WITH 24 BRAVE CONTESTANTS,
AND NOW WE ARE DOWN TO OUR FINAL THREE.
THAT'S RIGHT, AND THEY ARE BABY DADDY ANTHONY TRAFICANTE,
THE QUITTER ASURE WILLIAMS,
AND OUT STUDLY STUDENT DUSTIN BROWER.
BUT ONLY ONE OF THEM WILL LEAVE WINTER "WIPEOUT"
FEELING ALL WARM AND TOASTY
WITH $50,000 IN COLD, HARD CASH.
BUT STANDING MENACINGLY IN THEIR WAY--
THE FRIGID COURSE WE CALL THE WINTER WIPEOUT ZONE.
IT IS MADE UP OF SEVERAL PUNISHING STAGES.
IT STARTS WITH THE BOBSLED BLASTOFF.
CONTESTANTS GET
BOTH THE JET STREAM AND THE ARCTIC CURRENT.
THEN THEY'LL SWIM OVER TO OUR SECOND OBSTACLE,
THE ICY STAIRWAY FROM HELL. CONTESTANTS WILL HAVE TO
TIME THEIR JUMPS PERFECTLY IN ORDER TO CROSS
THEN THEY'RE ON TO OUR NEXT OBSTACLE--FROSTBITE.
CONTESTANTS MUST NAVIGATE THEIR WAY TO THE OTHER SIDE
WHILE STEERING CLEAR OF THE GIANT ICICLE TEETH
MOVING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. THAT'S FOLLOWED
BY OUR LAST OBSTACLE-- THE SINISTER SNOWFLAKES.
WHICH ONE OF THESE LUCKY FINALISTS
IS GONNA TAKE AWAY THE BIG BUCKS TONIGHT, JOHNNY?
BABY DADDY ANTHONY TRAFICANTE GETS THE FIRST CHANCE
...BOTH OF MY DAUGHTERS AND MY SON.
LET'S SEE HOW HE GOT HERE.
ANTHONY "BABY DADDY TRAFICANTE
PACIFIED OUR QUALIFIER THIS MORNING,
EARNING FIRST PLACE ON IT.
THE SKI LIFT GROUNDED HIM FOR FINISHING SECOND,
BUT AN IMPRESSIVE RUN AT THE MOUNT WIPEOUT CHALET
HAS HIM ONE STEP CLOSER TO A $50,000 DAY.
ALL RIGHT, ANTHONY TRAFICANTE
ALL SET TO GO IN THE BOBSLED BLASTOFF.
HERE WE GO, BABY.
THE BEEPS COUNT IT DOWN, AND THE SMOKE SETS IT OFF.
OH, HO!
YEAH, HE'S OFF TO A GREAT START.
TAKE ANOTHER LOOK. HE REACHES OUT AND GETS GREAT DISTANCE
AS BABY DADDY BREACHES THE ICE COLD WATER OF THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER
AND STARING AT THE ICY STAIRWAY FROM HELL.
REMEMBER, JOHNNY, THESE FROZEN STAIRS,
THERE'S NO RHYME NOR REASON TO THEM.
THEY DROP AT RANDOM SO IT'S REALLY TOUGH TO MAKE A PLAN.
OF COURSE, HE'S BEEN MARRIED A LONG TIME, JOHN,
NEARLY 20 FEET ABOVE THE ICY WATER.
OOH! OVERSHOOTS HIS MARK!
TAKE A LOOK AT THE REPLAY.
AAH!
A LONG SWIM BACK TO THE START OF THE OBSTACLE.
ANTHONY NOW MAKING THAT 2-STORY CLIMB FOR A SECOND TIME.
SURVIVES A SMALL SLIP.
CONTINUES TO PRESS FORWARD HERE.
YEAH, THIS IS WHERE HE HAD PROBLEMS LAST TIME.
MM!
HEADLONG GOING DOWN,
UHH!
THIS IS ONE DETERMINED DAD.
HE DOESN'T WANNA LET A CHANCE AT 50 GRAND GET AWAY.
REPOSITIONING HIMSELF ONTO THAT SECOND TO LAST STAIR.
HOPS DOWN A FLIGHT AND BOLTS ONTO THE PLATFORM.
JOHNNY, A STRONG FINISH TO THE STAIRWAY FROM HELL.
YEAH, NOW AT THE 3:30 MARK, HE'S FACING FROSTBITE.
AND, OF COURSE, ALONG WITH FROSTBITE
COMES A LITTLE BIT OF A GOO BLIZZARD, JOHN.
BABY DADDY MAKES A RUN TO THE CENTER.
(laughs)
LOOK, HE ACTUALLY MISSED OUT THERE,
(smack)
NICE! THAT'S AN 8-TON TEETHING PROBLEM.
OHH! HE JUMPED A LITTLE EARLY AND JUST NO CHANCE TO HOLD ON.
ALL DAY, ANTHONY'S BEEN RELYING ON INSTINCT,
BUT IT BACKFIRED HERE,
AND THAT SWIM IS GONNA BE A COSTLY ONE.
PERHAPS A MORE MEASURED APPROACH ON HIS SECOND ATTEMPT.
NO. JUST AS QUICKLY TO THE CENTER.
WELL, HE'S GOT A FAMILY, JOHN.
HE KNOWS HE'S IN TROUBLE IF HE'S LATE FOR DINNER.
MM.
NOW A WIDE OPEN PASS,
EASILY ACROSS THE SECOND HALF OF FROSTBITE.
ANTHONY NOW SHUFFLING DOWN TO THE SINISTER SNOWFLAKES.
AND AT 5 MINUTES, 21 SECONDS, HE'S MAKING GOOD TIME.
OHH! OUTTA LUCK.
YEAH, HE WAS IN A BAD POSITION, GOT TWISTED UP,
AND INTO THE ICE COLD WATER HE GOES.
UHH!
SECOND ATTEMPT STARTING BETTER,
AAH!
OH, HO!
YEAH, ANTHONY DIDN'T GIVE HIMSELF A TIME-OUT
TO DECIDE THE RIGHT APPROACH, AND THAT SWIM IS GONNA COST HIM.
SEEMS A LITTLE FRUSTRATED... OR MAYBE HE NEEDS TO BE BURPED.
SAME DIFFERENCE, JOHNNY.
THE SNOWFLAKES THE FIRST BIG SETBACK
AAH!
ONTO THE SECOND SNOWFLAKE. JUST ONE MORE LEAP...
YEAH!
ANTHONY TRAFICANTE SETS THE TIME TO BEAT
OH! I DID IT!
AND WE'LL FIND OUT IF THAT TIME HOLDS UP RIGHT NOW.
ASURE WILLIAMS GETTING FIRST SHOT AT IT.
LET'S LOOK AT HOW THE QUITTER REFUSED TO SURRENDER
AND MADE IT ALL THE WAY HERE TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
ASURE "THE QUITTER" WILLIAMS GAVE UP A DECENT TIME
AAH!
BUT BARELY MADE IT PAST THE SKI LIFT.
NOW AFTER GOING AGAINST HER NATURE
BOOYAH!
SHE'S OUT TO PROVE QUITTERS SOMETIMES WIN.
HERE WE GO, JOHNNY. SECOND LAUNCH OF THE NIGHT.
HOLD ON, JOHN. AN UNUSUAL CIRCUMSTANCE DOWN ON THE COURSE.
JILL IS WITH THE QUITTER NOW. LET'S FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON.
OKAY, GUYS, I'VE GOT ASURE DOWN HERE WITH ME.
ASURE, CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?
(voice breaks) UM, IT'S JUST AN OLD INJURY, JILL.
WHAT HAPPENED WAS MY KNEE ENDED UP POPPING OUT.
OHH.
AND, UH, I WAS HOPING THAT I'D BE ABLE
JUST TO KIND OF TAPE IT UP AND THEN RUN THE COURSE,
BUT IT'S NOT GONNA LET ME, SO...
YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE DON'T WANNA RISK THAT.
BUT I HAVE TO SAY, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'M SORRY, BABIES. I REALLY TRIED.
AW!
DON'T MAKE ME CRY. (chuckles)
AW, IT'S SAD, JOHN.
MM-HMM.
YEAH, THAT OLD INJURY AGGRAVATED AT JUST THE WRONG TIME.
ASURE, THOUGH, SHE HAS OUR CONGRATULATIONS
ON A GREAT EFFORT AND A GREAT FINISH,
AT LEAST MAKING IT TO THE WIPEOUT ZONE.
MM.
SO WE ARE LEFT WITH A 2-MAN BATTLE.
$50,000 IS ON THE LINE,
BUT ONLY ONE MAN IS GONNA COLLECT THAT PRIZE MONEY.
WHEN WE COME BACK,
WILL BABY DADDY MAINTAIN HIS POSITION IN THE TOP SPOT,
OR WILL THE STUDLY STUDENT DUSTIN BROWER
TAKE THE LEAD AND THE CASH?
♪♪♪
(clank)
♪♪♪
WELCOME BACK TO THE DRAMATIC $50,000 CONCLUSION
A BABY DADDY AND A STUDLY STUDENT
ARE FIGHTING IT OUT,
BUT ONLY ONE WILL ACE THE RACE AND EARN A HEFTY ALLOWANCE.
JILL GOT A FINAL PRERACE COMMENT FROM OUR FINAL CONTESTANT.
HERE'S DUSTIN.
THANKS, GUYS. I'M DOWN HERE IN THE WINTER WIPEOUT ZONE.
I'VE GOT DUSTIN WITH ME. DUSTIN, ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT?
I'M EXCITED. I'M A LITTLE SCARED,
NOW WHAT'S YOUR STRATEGY FOR THIS THING BEHIND YOU?
(John A.) THAT WON'T HAPPEN.
WHOA!
LOOKED SMART IN THE QUALIFIER THIS MORNING
BEFORE THE SKI LIFT TRIED TO HOLD HIM BACK.
HE CAME OUT ON TOP AT MOUNT WIPEOUT CHALET
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
DOES DUSTIN HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BEAT ANTHONY?
HERE'S THE IGNITION.
DUSTIN ACCELERATING IN HIS SLED.
WHOO! YIPPEE-KI-YAY!
WHOO! SOARING THROUGH THE NIGHT SKY.
A SPECTACULAR DIVE INTO THE WIPEOUT ZONE WATER.
YEAH, HE STARTS FLAPPING HIS ARMS LIKE HE'S ALREADY SWIMMING
WHOO!
AGAIN, THE TIME TO BEAT 7:59. AND A GOOD LOOK THERE
AT THE SCALE OF THE ICY STAIRWAY FROM HELL.
AND HE'S NOT TAKING HIS TIME SO FAR.
HE'S ALREADY LEAPING TO THE SECOND STAIR.
THE HARSH WEATHER CONDITIONS NOT SLOWING HIM DOWN AT ALL.
QUICKLY APPROACHING THE PEAK OF THE STAIRS
UHH! UHH!
COME ON, EAT IT! EAT IT! JUST SLIP OFF!
BABY DADDY TRYING TO SPOON-FEED DUSTIN TO WIPEOUT,
BUT HE DEFINITELY DOES NOT WANT TO EAT IT HERE.
THE STAIRS ARE FAR MORE TREACHEROUS...
GOING DOWN THAN GOING UP.
IT'S NOT PRETTY, BUT DUSTIN MANAGING TO STAY UP.
ABSORBING SOME CRUEL BLOWS THERE. OW!
MAKING STEADY PROGRESS, THOUGH.
FLINGING HIMSELF ONTO THE PLATFORM.
THAT IS AN IMPRESSIVE FIRST ATTEMPT CROSSING.
AND NOW HE FACES FROSTBITE,
OVER 90 SECONDS AHEAD OF ANTHONY'S PACE.
SLIDING OUT ONTO THE PLANK UNDER THE TEETH--
AAH!
OHH! TAKE ANOTHER LOOK.
HE STUMBLES RIGHT OFF THE BAT, NARROWLY AVOIDS THE TEETH,
BUT HE GETS A SMACK IN THE HEAD...
SENDING HIM INTO THAT ICE COLD DRINK.
SLIP AND FALL A COUPLE MORE TIMES. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.
YEAH, WELL, IF ANTHONY'S GONNA TAKE THE CASH,
DUSTIN'S GONNA HAVE TO WIPE OUT
OHH! A MOLAR-RATTLING WIPEOUT.
(smacking)
AND OUR STUDLY STUDENT IS OUTCLASSED.
HIS THIRD ATTEMPT NOW.
THAT 90-SECOND CUSHION DUSTIN BUILT ON THE STAIRWAY IS GONE.
FINALLY IS SAFE AT THE CENTER. KEEPING HIS FEET MOVING,
DARTING BETWEEN THE TEETH. SAFELY ACROSS.
WHEW!
YEAH, DUSTIN ABOUT 10 SECONDS BEHIND THE PACE SET BY ANTHONY.
IT'S A VERY TIGHT RACE.
LUNGES ONTO THAT FIRST SINISTER SNOWFLAKE.
(smacking)
FLIPPING TO THE BOTTOM. HOW ON EARTH DID HE HOLD ON?
A REMARKABLE SAVE.
OH!
THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, JOHNNY. TAKE ANOTHER LOOK.
MM.
PROBABLY NOT THE SMARTEST MOVE
AS HE ENDS UP WITH A COLD DOSE OF REALITY.
OUR STUDLY STUDENT HAVING TO RETAKE THE SNOWFLAKE EXAM.
I'M GONNA GO WITH, "NOT THE WAY YOU DID IT LAST TIME."
BEGINNING HIS SECOND ATTEMPT DRAPED OVER A PEG THERE.
THAT IS NOT A GREAT POSITION.
AH! OH, YOU COULD SEE THAT COMING.
YEAH, HE FLUNKED HIS TEST FOR THE SECOND TIME,
AND HE BETTER GET GOING
DUSTIN HAS ONE MORE SHOT AT IT.
HE HAS A 15-SECOND CRAM SESSION.
NO TIME TO PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER. CRAWLS THROUGH THAT FIRST FLAKE.
(smack)
OHH!
(air horn blows)
THE BABY DADDY ANTHONY TRAFICANTE
IS OUR WINNER.
YOU JUST WON "WIPEOUT"!
YOU JUST WON $50,000!
OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.
THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.
(laughs)
JOHNNY, A LITTLE TWIST.
BABY DADDY'S HAPPY, EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.
THAT'S GONNA DO IT FOR US.
PLEASE JOIN US NEXT TIME WHEN 24 NEW CONTESTANTS
TAKE ON SOME CRAZY NEW AND FRIGID OBSTACLES.
UNTIL THEN, AMERICA. I'M JOHN ANDERSON...
AND FOR OUR COLLEAGUE JILL WAGNER,
I'M JOHN HENSON SAYING, GOOD NIGHT AND BIG BALLS.
UHH!
AAH! WHOO!
UHH!
UHH! AAH!
(boing)
UHH!
UHH! AAH!
(clank)
UHH!
UHH!
UHH!
♪♪♪
AAH! AAH!
HELP!
AAH!
AAH!
WHAT'S UP, SNOWMAN? WHAT'S UP?
(Jill) WOW!