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I'd Rather you didn't (Mumbling)
It dosen't matter were about to livestream were about to go
(Mumbling)
Amy! ... Amy can i haz?
Can I has a soda plz?
You want me to bring you one?
What?
(Pirates of the carribean theme plays)
Alright time limits going
Ok Welcome to the standard, setting the bar today we are playing dungeons and dragons
3.5 we are doing a pirate adventure
Yeah pirates!
Wew pirates!
I am a level one goblin pirate My name is Drizzly, I'm Three foot six inches
tall
And No One Gives a SH**
And no one cares, and my "Dex" is 20 Sok it Bi****s, but so is his.
Introuduce your character please.
I'm a pirate named Raffa, Yeah i took the name from a coke dealer from
the 80's
Coke's cool
Raffa Salazari, he's supposed to be the equivilant of a cuban.
He's also a Damen Elf, which he should probably tell you.
In other words he's like a drow, Except he has red markings which are similar
to a (talked over)
IT's BAsically a bad a** looking tatoo type thing.
Like darth maul except not cool.
Now that we've got that figured out.
This is Cayde (Doc Brown) our kind and merciful DM
Alright So. We're playing a new campaign, on a new playstyle
with new (mumbling, talking over)
(Lots of Mumbling)
More colonial
Yeah think pirates!
Alright so, there are three people riding in a boat
towards a dock, it is early evening and the sun is sitting on the horizon.
the two gentlemen on the boat are these two gentlemen
"Do I know where we came from?"
Right now it's not important You were hired on the mainland (Mumblng)
I'm about to tell you
"I'm sorry, sorry sir."
Alright so the man's in the boat and he's rowing, and he says:
"Im droppin' yer' off at the docks"
"Cough (Bioshock Infinite!)"
"Ill be back in two hours, if yer not watin' fer me thar,
im turnin round, and never comin back."
Ok so theres a building, and a giant round lighthouse
that we can picture, am i right?
META: Hey amy would like you to pass the hookah.
I'm gonna do a perception. Perception check to see if i can look at the
buildings.
That would be a spot check
Shutup...
What's ur spot check?
Your spot checks 17 and then add your modifiers for spot.
I'm sorry everyone he does not understand 3.5
It's five
17 plus five
So what's your spot check?
23...
Ok you see a giant tower with a light on top, most people call it a lighthouse.
Does it have stripes?
He's already set the fu****g scene, why do you wanna see more then whats already
set in the scene theres nothing else here right now.
Your in the water, there are cliffs to the side of you
a lighthouse on top, your coming up on a wooden dock.
A little ways away
(Phone Rings)
Alright, so the man says: "Ill be back in two hours, if your not waiting
for me..."
Go ahead, the timer is running, by the way.
META: (Phone call) Hello?
- Hey Nikki.
- (Kyle is upset "Very Professional") Uh, hanging out with some guys you know. Playing
games and stuff. - ("In fact phones on silent")
Um Rain check? -
Your with another girl im assuming? - (I am amused "YOu know what tony, im gonna
let you off the hook, go hit that.") - ("If you can screw her ill let you go.")
Nikki, my phone is dying can i have a rain check on that one?
(Tony is trying to get out of it, we think this is hilarious)
- ("I've got a charger for you bro") Alright ill text you as soon as my phone is
charged. - (Laughter)
We'll uh, "Hang out" sometime soon. -
Alright catch you later. META: (Call Ends)
The internet just watched you give up a potental three way,
FOR DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!
Well it's her sister
SO!
Is she a fat chick?
She is a stripper
OK! Is she a fat chick?
HEY, Hey... Noobs Bob has a vip card to jezebels, and he can
bring a guest.
Jezebels is a horrible place
Yeah I don't go to strip clubs
Strip clubs are grody
I've never been to a strip club.
Don't dude their grody (Tony Yells)
Me Neither! High Five, for standards, yeah.
Set the bar of not going to strip clubs
(I mumble and have no idea what I just said)
Meta: I haven't gotten a turn.
Meta: ikr, This is unaccaptable
Meta: Papers, and then bring the hookah this way
Ok just keep going with your story.
Timers running. The gentleman says to you that if your not waiting at the dock
by the time he gets back he's turning around and he's never coming back
Is he an old sailor with a bald head?
No he's human, he's fairly normal, he's got a scar across his cheek
Is he wearing a uniform?
No he is not wearing a uniform he is a normal person he has a trench coat
it is a big grey trench coat
So he's a worker, so he's some kinda guy
It dosen't matter
He's the boatman, he owns the boat!
He drops us off and picks us up
Hes a boatman, alright now. as he tells you this, he hands you a metal
pocket watch and a sealed envelope, they both have an inscription
of G on it. Whoever want's to take it. He is sitting at
the front of the boat looking at you rowing backwards.
You two are both sitting in front of him. Either one of you are allowed to take it.
Im sitting more towards the back of the boat, just kind of playing with my rapier.
Inventory!
Adding It.
It's a dull metal pocketwatch, probably made of lead or steel
... or iron.
I open up the pocket watch to see if it's keeping time
It says 9:00 and yes, it keeps time.
It's a pocketwatch. Magic
And there's an envelope with a red seal on it.
They are both enscribed with the letter G
G is for Jesus
Yes, G for GEZUS!
Im gonna ask him, "What does this G stand for?"
"It's the mark of my employer, and your employer" "aright, it is da mark of yer employer."
and he stops at the dock, but the boat doesn't tie up, so.
So it's like that? (asking about the game board)
He just stops at the dock, you two get off.
But wait? What's my employers name?
He dosen't tie up the boat and he's rowing away
Does he answer my question?
And he throws you a bag
I'm gonna catch the bag.
"Yall be needin this too." and he's rowing away the boat.
I'm gonna yell after him one more time. "What specifically does this G stand for.
(Mumbling)
Can i listen check to see what he said?
yes you may
Sh** (he rolled badly)
I listen check too.
What's your modifiers, c'mon
1!
I rolled an 8 on mine.
4 on mine
It's not high enough, your gonna hear the word "Beware!"
K
ZUKO WHAT THE F***! (I am pissed at my dog for eating some of
our equipment.)
He's like NOM NOM NOM
What a di... oh i think that was my fault, im sorry.
This is going swimmingly so far.
Alright, so now your on the dock. Whaddayagonnado?
I'm going to take hold of my surroundings. I know this is a lighthouse, what is this
building
Do we see stained glass windows?
It is a church.
Shut the F*** up, now everyone's gonna know you know whats on the map you D***
It's a giant church, it's quite obvious it's a giant church.
It's made of stone. It dosen't have stained glass windows
It's fairly recently built, It's not very opulent.
It's more like a sort of emergency church they put it up really quick because they needed
it
Meta: Amy can you turn it down please
Meta: and Not Play anymore? Download songpop to your phone.
Meta: Or use Headphones. Thadabegood.
Ok
Now whaddayagonnado?
Im going to open up the backpack and see whats inside.
The pack, ok inside the bag are a few silver peices in one corner
A short sword kinda jammed in there as tight as it could be.
I'm gonna count out the peices inside
There are three peices of silver
Richeous
there more in there because somebody forgot about em'they are not of importance.
He's like "Silver oh yeah! Oh my gosh!"
Do i have anything other than my clothes and my weapon on my person
Not right now no, you've been brought here simply because (Talked over)
"Gimmie that letter"
"ok"
I take the letter from him and i Open it up. Read it.
Ok, theres two more torches and a lighter inside there.
Ok im gonna take the lighter and give you one of the torches.
I throw the torch back at your face. "I have dark vision ***"
(More mumbling and talking over eachother)
Alright so your looking at the letter?
Yea. Im looking at the letter.
Alright the letter reads: Welcome gentlemen to the island of holy death
the patrons of this island are seeking saftey and supplies from the cruel islands nearby.
But find god instead, and never return to thier homes.
those who do return are only ever greeted by one cleric
who asks if they would like to join the local mass.
you
are
here
to find out why.
So
is it a religious cult?
What did i just tell you?
it's a religious cult.
I didn't say it was
a religious cult, it is
not a religious cult.
your asking questions that will be answered. you can't just assume.
META: QUit moving my sh**!
Has the person who sent us on our quest... what was
the payment offered.
that's all
the letter says.