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>>Elliott: Hewo, and welcum tuh shourshfed. My name is Elliott Morgan.
>>Joe: AND I’M JOE BRETTA
>>Elliott: STOP YELLING (intro)
>>Elliott: Tattle tails are the worst, especially when they spill the beans about a trio of
third-graders taking a little weed break in the bathroom. Two of the three were 8, led
by a 9-year-old, who we can only assume is real uppity about that extra year.
>>Joe: If marijuana really is a gateway drug, by the time they’re 18, these kids will
likely be addicted to, I don’t know… gasoline.
>>Elliott: like the high-grade kind. Not that 87 bullcrap.
>>Joe: Or bleach.
>>Elliott: Name brand though, not that Kroger knockoff bullcrap.
>>Joe: Or… bread mold.
>>Elliott: Just straight bread mold. Ricky and his posse are addicted to bread mold,
but what can you expect when they started smoking weed when they were EIGHT.
>>Joe: A kid tattled on the trio, which led a police officer questioning the children.
Their punishment has yet to be determined, according to Superintendent Leigh Shampain,
who did not comment on how absolutely hilarious the image probably was.
>>Elliott: The kids were caught with a pipe and a very small amount of weed which came
from several sources, according to the Sonora, California police chief.
>>Joe: And the children didn’t necessarily appear high, but really, what does a high
third grader look like? Probably just like a regular third-grade but less obnoxious.
>>Elliott: And don’t get us wrong, this is serious. But also like, not. Of course,
a lot of people are taking this WAY serious, like the County Probation Department.
>>Joe: And get this – ever since the incident, the other students haven’t seen the trio
back in class.
>>Elliott: ISH LIKE DEY DISAPPEARED, claimed one child probably.
>>Joe: VANISHED! INTO TIN AIR!
>>Elliott: Kids, don’t do weed. Just don’t. what’s the craziest thing you did as a youngin’?