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"Medal, medal, should I sign the renewal or not? Medal, what would you do? Medal?
***! I'm sick and tired! Sometimes I wonder what would have hapenned if I hadn't accepted Laporta's offer to coach Barça.
Freixa (spokesman board), is it you?
What? Who are you?" "This is your other self."
"My other self? No, it's certain I've fallen asleep watching videos.
Well, I'm not dreaming. Stop for a minute. If you are my other self, how come you have that long hair?"
"This is what you would have looked like if you hadn't accepted to become Barça coach."
"What? Are you saying if I hadn't coached Barça I would have had that long hair?" "Yes, because you wouldn't have withstood this pressure."
"Of course! By the time I signed, I had more hair." "And you wouldn't have to bear Madrid press, or the 'Villarato', or the whys..."
"Or press conferences, or waking up very, very early, or answering questions about my renewal... And I could comb my hair!
You don't know how I miss it.
I wish I had never been Barça coach." "You sure? Think about that..." "So sure! If I could, I would go back in time right now!
It has worked! I have hair again! But how come I'm in the basement yet?"
"What are you doing in my seat?" "What? Your basement? But this is the basement of Camp Nou!"
"Yes, it's my basement and you're a cleaning guy, so go and clean up!" "A cleaning guy? Me? I was the coach in the other reality!"
You as a coach! You never promoted from Third Division and later you went bankrupt when you tried to buy Santpedor Football Club.
It's lucky Sandro Rosell is a good man who hires you from time to time. So move your *** if you don't wanna lose your job."
"Guardiola says no to Barça. Mourinho, new Barça coach.
Guardiola fails once again. Mou wins third Champions League.
Mou, a culé idol."
"And don't forget to clean my medal."
"Do you have a medal? But...
Well, I've lost everything but at least I have hair again.
Why!!!"
Why? Why?
I like it. I think I'll use it in the next press conference."