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PREVIOUSLY ON "BROTHERS & SISTERS"...
YOU'RE A TV HEARTTHROB WITH A GIRLFRIEND.
IT'D BE STUPID FOR ME TO THINK THAT THIS IS, YOU KNOW,
I'M IN REHAB.
YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME IN A LONG TIME.
THIS IS A VINEYARD CALLED GREENDALE.
WILLIAM WALKER FELT VERY STRONGLY
THAT OJAI FOOD SHOULD BE IN THE WINE MAKING BUSINESS.
(Kevin) I just hope that someday I could be worthy
of your love and respect,
whether we're together or not.
WE'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR, LIKE, OVER A MINUTE NOW.
IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO--
I-I DON'T MEAN THAT I-I DO WANT TO.
IT'S JUST THAT EVEN IF I DID WANT TO, I COULDN'T.
(gasps) OH! OW.
ARE YOU OKAY?
UH, YEAH. YEAH, YEAH.
I'M FINE. I'M FINE. UH...
YEAH. HOW ARE YOU?
OKAY. OH, DON'T WORRY.
YOU'LL GET USED TO MY HAIR IN THE MORNING.
OH. NAH. NO, IT WASN'T-- WASN'T THAT.
WHAT WAS IT?
EARTHQUAKE?
YEAH, YEAH. NO, THOSE-- THOSE HAPPEN IN--IN CALIFORNIA.
I THINK IT WAS ABOUT A 5, OR MAYBE EVEN A-A 6.2 OR SOMETHING.
NO.
HUH.
WELL, UM, CHECK THE NEWS.
I'M GONNA GO TO THE--
YOU KNOW, THE--THE BATHROOM.
THAT'S THE CLOSET.
(chuckles) YEAH.
I KNEW THAT... (mumbles)
WELL, IT'S A PRETTY-- PRETTY DAY.
AH, HERE'S THE BATHROOM.
(laughs)
HEY, KIT. HOW WAS YOUR VALENTINE'S?
OH, SARAH, THANK GOD. (whispers) OH, SARAH, THANK GOD.
Thank God you picked up.
YOU ARE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
I SLEPT WITH McCALLISTER.
OH, GOD, KITTY, YOU SCARED ME.
(normal voice) SOMETHING BAD DID HAPPEN.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I WORK FOR HIM?
Oh, please.
SLEEPING WITH COWORKERS IS LIKE A REFLEX FOR YOU.
Anyway, didn't you say he was also attracted to you?
YES, BUT WE AGREED THAT WE WOULDN'T ACT ON IT.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
WHEN HAVE YOU EVER SLEPT WITH SOMEONE YOU DIDN'T WORK WITH?
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, SARAH? BE NICE. JUST BE NICE, OKAY?
YOU KNOW--JUST--IT-- IT HAPPENED SO FAST.
I hadn't even kissed him until last night,
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER?
I MEAN, WHAT IF HE THINKS I'M EASY?
I MEAN, JUST COME ON. THINK BACK TO YOUR COLLEGE DAYS
FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND I AM CALLING MY FAVORITE TABLOID.
SO HOW WAS HE?
SARAH, PLEASE, AS IF I WOULD EVER EVEN--
YOU KNOW, HE WAS GREAT.
REALLY? I THOUGHT THE ONLY POSITION THE REPUBLICANS
COULD COMMIT TO WAS MISSIONARY.
OH, CAN WE JUST GET BACK TO THE FACT
THAT I'M SITTING IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH A NAKED POLITICIAN/MY BOSS?
OH, OH, OH. HOLD ON. IT'S KEVIN CALLING ME.
HELLO, KEVIN. LISTEN, I-I-I JUST--
I CANNOT TALK RIGHT NOW.
I'M IN THE--I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT.
NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS.
(sighs) I SLEPT WITH HIM.
WHO, CHAD?
NO, NOT CHAD. I'VE ALREADY BEEN SLEEPING WITH CHAD.
WELL, WHAT, WHAT, THERE'S SOMETHING MORE SURPRISING
(sighs) SCOTTY.
OH, WELL, THAT'S GREAT. I-I LIKE SCOTTY.
NO, IT'S NOT GREAT. HE'S MY EX. DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
OH, CAN YOU JUST HOLD-- HOLD ON ONE SECOND.
(sighs)
HEY, SARAH, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
KEVIN SLEPT WITH SCOTTY LAST NIGHT.
HELLO?
Oh, please.
YOU KNOW WHAT, KEVIN?
(beeps)
HEY, SARAH, SORRY.
SO, UH, KEVIN SLEPT WITH SCOTTY LAST NIGHT.
SHUT UP! GET THE DETAILS. I'LL HOLD.
AND I WOULDN'T GO TELLING HIM ABOUT
(beeps)
OKAY, KEVIN, SPILL IT QUICKLY. I HAVE A CRISIS
WHAT CRISIS? IT'S 8:00 IN THE MORNING.
Oh, did something happen last night? Did we get lit?
OH, MY GOD. YOU AND McCALLISTER?
NO! I DIDN'T! I DIDN'T! WE DIDN'T! WE DIDN'T!
HOW DOES HE LOOK NAKED? I BET HE LOOKS GOOD.
WAS IT HOT IN THAT MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE KIND OF WAY?
JUSTIN'S CALLING. HOLD ON.
GUESS WHAT?
I MESSED UP, BRO.
UH, OKAY. WHA--WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE STILL ALIVE.
Look, I didn't do drugs, Moron,
JUST... JUST TYLER.
(sighs) OH, YOU ***.
SERIOUSLY, BRO, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX YET.
THEY THINK I'LL JUST REPLACE MY DRUG ADDICTION WITH--
YEAH, KIND OF.
(beeps)
(beeps)
JUSTIN GOT BACK WITH TYLER LAST NIGHT.
OH, YOU'RE KIDDING. DID YOU TELL HIM?
WHAT, THAT WE'RE BOTH HAVING SEXES WITH EXES?
(cell phone beeping)
MOM'S CALLING. LOOK, I'M GONNA HANG UP
SO IT'LL GO STRAIGHT TO VOICE MAIL, OR SHE'LL KNOW
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, BYE.
YOU BETTER HAVE THE CRèME de LA GOSSIP.
SO, UH, JUSTIN SLEPT WITH TYLER LAST NIGHT.
YOU'RE ALL ***!
HOW IS IT THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE
THAT CAN'T GET LAID ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
(groans)
Don't you dare put me on hold.
I WANT THE JUICE. CALL HER BACK.
DOES THE SENATOR SLEEP IN THE NUDE?
WELL, IN FACT, UM... HE DOES.
OH. MOM'S CALLING ME NOW.
Your turn to hold.
HI, MOM. JUSTIN'S FINE. HE'S WITH TYLER.
(Nora) Oh, good, good. That--that's...
NOT REALLY WHY I CALLED.
FOR THE RECORD, SWEETIE,
I TRIED TO BOTHER KITTY AND KEVIN WITH THIS FIRST.
WELL, I APPRECIATE THAT, MOM. WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH?
SARAH, COULD YOU COME PICK ME UP... SOON?
I THINK I'M CLOSE TO YOUR WORK.
AND I'LL NEED YOU TO BRING YOUR CHECKBOOK.
WELL, YOU KNOW THAT WHITE BUILDING
ON HUNTINGTON BOULEVARD ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE BANK,
the one with the real tall fence around it?
YOU MEAN THE PASADENA POLICE STATION?
YES, SWEETIE, THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT.
I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH OUR REAL ESTATE AGENT.
GREENDALE VINEYARDS WAS ALL BUT OURS
UNTIL SANTA YNEZ FOOD COMPANY PUT IN A HIGHER BID.
OH, THAT IS BAD NEWS.
DAD USED TO DRINK WITH BILL HARMSEN.
BELIEVE ME, THE LAST THING THAT GUY SHOULD BE DOING IS--
HOW MUCH MORE DID THEY OFFER?
WHAT?
SO MUCH FOR HOLLY'S SPIEL
WELL, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT WOULDN'T BE
ARE YOU KIDDING?
SAUL, THERE'S NOTHING SOLID ABOUT THE WINE BUSINESS,
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DIVE INTO IT HEADFIRST WITH NO EXPERIENCE.
EXACTLY. NOW CAN WE PLEASE JUST CLOSE THE BOOK ON THIS?
HOLLY'S GONNA HAVE AN ANEURYSM.
IF HOLLY WANTS TO OVERTURN MY DECISION AS PRESIDENT,
SHE'S WELCOME TO GO TO THE BOARD
AND GET 75% OF THE VOTE TO OVERRULE ME.
SHE STILL HAS A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF OJAI STOCK, SARAH.
OH, COME ON, SAUL. IF ANY MAJOR SHAREHOLDER CAME IN HERE WITH
THE SAME RIDICULOUS PROPOSAL, THEY WOULD GET THE SAME RESULT.
AND AS FOR HOLLY, AS LONG AS WE DON'T HAVE
A GOLD-DIGGING MISTRESS DIVISION,
SHE'S OF ABSOLUTELY NO USE TO OJAI FOODS OR TO ME.
(gasps) AAH! WHAT WAS THAT?
FOOTBALL-- BACKBONE OF AMERICAN SPORTS.
I THOUGHT THE FOOTBALL SEASON WAS OVER.
TAX DOLLARS HARD AT WORK.
CAN I, UM, TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
SURE. WHAT'S UP?
WELL, YOUR SCHEDULING PERSON
JUST TOLD ME THAT I HAD TO GO TO SAN DIEGO FOR THE NIGHT.
SORRY, I'M SEEING A MAJOR DONOR,
AND I NEED IT TO LOOK LIKE, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WORK FOR ME.
IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY,
AND THE REST OF THE STAFF IS OTHERWISE ENGAGED.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT I CAN GO TO SAN DIEGO?
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
A MAN-FAST. IT'S A-- IT'S A MAN-FAST.
WHO'S THE DONOR?
YOU--YOU MEAN THE... THE BILLIONAIRE?
MM-HMM.
I'M-- I'M GOING HOME TO PACK.
IT'S AN OVERNIGHT. JUST THROW SOMETHING IN A BAG.
I AM GOING TO SAN DIEGO WITH A U.S. SENATOR
TO SEE A BILLIONAIRE.
I AM GOING TO BRING OPTIONS.
HEY, KITTY.
GOOD CATCH.
(man) ♪ WHOA ♪
(scatting)
ISN'T THAT YOUR FRIEND?
WHAT'S HIS NAME AGAIN?
KEVIN!
COME STRETCH WITH US. COME ON. DON'T BE SHY.
♪ MAMA'S HIGH HEELS ♪
♪ AND SOMEDAY YOU'RE GONNA SEE ♪
HEY.
LOOK AT THOSE GLUTES.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SINGLE. YOU ARE SINGLE, RIGHT?
I CAN SEE IT IN THOSE SAD BLUE EYES.
WHAT? HE'S A BIG BOY.
LET ME HOOK YOU UP WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS.
YES, THEY DO.
THEN NO.
WHAT, YOU LIKE BIG ***?
UH, I'VE RETIRED FROM THE *** BUSINESS.
HOLY CRAP. YOU'RE, LIKE, GAY.
I'M NOT "LIKE" GAY. I'M THE REAL THING.
"I'M THE REAL THING." I LOVE THE WAY YOU TALK.
YOU'RE A FUNNY GUY, AND YOU MAKE, LIKE, SIX FIGURES.
IF YOU WERE STRAIGHT, YOU WOULD HAVE THE HOTTEST GIRLFRIEND.
SO WHAT KIND OF GUYS DO YOU GO FOR?
COME ON, CHAD. WHAT'S HIS TYPE?
UM... HE'S HARD TO PLEASE.
NO.
UGH.
I PREFER THEM SLIGHTLY WAIFISH.
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! THE BEST GUY FOR YOU EVER!
MICHELLE... I'M NOT SURE KEVIN'S SO DESPERATE TO MEET SOMEBODY.
HE'S A BUSY GUY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THIS BEFORE.
YOU GUYS WILL LOVE EACH OTHER.
HE'S WELL PUT TOGETHER. HE'S GORGEOUS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT FOR VALENTINE'S?
THEN IT'S OFFIC'.
YOU'RE COMING TO MY SISTER'S VALENTINE'S DAY PARTY.
DON'T WORRY. I'M HOOKING YOU UP HUGE.
YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME.
I SWEAR, ALL THE BEST GUYS I MEET ARE GAY...
EXCEPT YOU, OF COURSE, BABE.
♪ LOOK IN MY EYES, AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S SO RIGHT NOW ♪
HEY, TOMMY, DO YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES?
FOR YOU, HOLLY, I HAVE THREE.
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH BILL HARMSEN.
WHAT AN ***.
I-I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR FATHER AND HE WERE FRIENDS.
THEY WEREN'T, JUST CIVIL.
TOP TWO LOCAL-SUPPLYING ORCHARDS IN THE VALLEY.
COULDN'T BE ANY MORE DIRECT COMPETITION.
YOU KNOW, IN OUR HEYDAY, DAD USED TO COMPARE OJAI FOODS
AND SANTA YNEZ--
TO THE LAKERS AND THE CELTICS. I REMEMBER.
YEAH. IT WAS A BAD ANALOGY.
IF IT WAS SUCH A BAD INVESTMENT,
WHY WOULD YOUR FATHER'S COMPETITOR
BE INTERESTED IN THE SAME PROPERTY?
WILL YOU JUST LET IT GO, ALL RIGHT?
MY SISTER'S THE PRESIDENT. SHE MADE THE CALL.
TOMMY...
YOUR FATHER WAS GOING TO BUY THE WINERY NEXT YEAR.
HE KNEW THAT WHEN HE WROTE HIS WILL.
HE DIED BEFORE HE COULD GIVE YOU THE VINEYARD.
HE WANTED YOU TO RUN IT.
THAT'S WHY HE LEFT YOU AS VICE PRESIDENT OF OJAI.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
IT'S THE ONLY REASON
THAT HE BROUGHT SARAH ON IN THE FIRST PLACE.
IT WAS TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY
FOR ANYONE TO RUN BOTH COMPANIES.
HE SAW IT AS THE FUTURE FOR THIS FAMILY,
YOUR FUTURE.
WHY WOULD HE THINK I'D KNOW THE FIRST THING
ABOUT A W--A WINERY?
HE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WINE EITHER,
BUT HE KNEW ABOUT BUSINESS,
AND HE BELIEVED IN YOU MORE THAN ANYONE.
HE KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LET HIM DOWN.
YEAH.
LOOK, HOLLY, THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER.
FAIR ENOUGH.
I MEAN, IT'S REALLY NOT YOUR CALL ANYHOW.
(Barenaked Ladies' "Easy" playing)
YOU WEREN'T KIDDING ABOUT THE PACKING.
OH, WELL, I NEEDED TO PLAN FOR EVERYTHING.
I NEEDED HIGH HEELS, LOW HEELS, FLATS, SANDALS, SNEAKERS,
FLIP-FLOPS, AND THOSE ARE JUST THE SHOES.
SO I FIGURED OUT WHY WE'RE GOING TO SEE MICHAEL PELLINGTON.
THANK YOU. HE'S A MAJOR CONTRIBUTOR.
OH, CONTRIBUTOR, RIGHT, THAT'S A VERY GOOD COVER.
BUT I'VE BEEN LOOKING OVER YOUR TRAVELING SCHEDULE
FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS-- STOPS IN IOWA AND NEW HAMPSHIRE.
WELL, I HAVE FAMILY IN NEW HAMPSHIRE,
AH, SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
ABOUT THE OTHER STATES WITH MAJOR PRIMARIES
THAT DON'T HAVE RELATIVES OR JET FUEL?
I THINK THEY ALL PRETTY MUCH HAVE JET FUEL.
THE ELEVATOR DOESN'T HAVE ROOF ACCESS.
♪ WITH YOUR HANGDOG EYES... ♪
(gasps)
WE'RE GOING ON THAT?
I'VE NEVER--NO, I'VE-- I'VE NEVER BEEN ON ONE BEFORE.
BET YOU WISH YOU'D PACKED LESS.
♪ YOU MAKE IT EASY... ♪
ANYWAY, WE'RE GOING TO PELLINGTON
BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY,
NOT AS MUCH AS YOU'D NEED TO--
WELL, NOT EVEN ENOUGH TO FORM
AN EXPLORATORY COMMITTEE TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT
IF YOU'RE GONNA ASK ME SOMETHING,
YOU SHOULD JUST ASK IT.
SENATOR... ARE YOU RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?
WELL, YES, I AM, MISS WALKER.
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I'M GONNA WIN.
♪♪♪
OH, GOD, I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE SEX
WITH MY HUSBAND TONIGHT.
IT IS A BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE NUMBERS ON THE WINERY?
I THINK YOUR VALUATION WAS TOO LOW.
WHOA. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
I DON'T THINK.
WE KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT WINE.
OH, WHAT, YOU THINK DAD HAD INTRINSIC KNOWLEDGE ABOUT FRUIT?
SHE GOT TO YOU, DIDN'T SHE?
SARAH, I THINK YOU'RE IN DENIAL ABOUT HOW WELL HOLLY KNEW DAD
WHAT EXACTLY HAS SHE BEEN TELLING YOU?
(knock on door)
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! ONE'S MIND GRASPS
LOOK, ADMIT IT. YOU MIGHT BE IGNORING A POSSIBILITY
TOMMY, SHE'S MANIPULATING YOU.
CREDIT FOR WHAT?
SHE SAID DAD WAS GONNA BUY IT FOR ME TO RUN.
OH. OH, BOY.
THAT'S NOT EVEN MANIPULATION. THAT'S JUST EVIL.
SEE, THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
YOU DON'T TRUST MY JUDGMENT,
EVEN THOUGH THE LAST TIME YOU DID, WE FOUND $30 MILLION.
TOMMY.
OH, BOY. HOLLY'S DOING?
THAT WOMAN, SHE'S A PIECE OF WORK.
I WON'T HAVE HER DRIVING A WEDGE BETWEEN YOU TWO.
THANK YOU, SAUL.
THAT ALLOWS ME TO SPEND THE REST OF MY DAY
FOCUSING ON THE REALLY IMPORTANT WORK,
WHICH IS TRYING TO FIND A BABYSITTER
(chuckles)
I REGRETTED WHAT I SAID TO TOMMY
SOON AS THE WORDS CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH.
"MISINTERPRETED"?
WHAT I SAID TO HIM WAS THE TRUTH,
AND SARAH, WELL, I-I KNOW
THAT I CANNOT CHANGE HER OPINION OF ME,
WHICH IS WHY I APPROACHED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE.
SO YOU CAN SEE NOW HOW THAT WAS AN ERROR IN JUDGMENT?
I CAN, I DO, AND I'M SORRY.
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
YEAH. OKAY.
THEN I HAVE ANOTHER PROPOSAL FOR YOU...
DINNER TONIGHT.
DINNER ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
WELL, I-I THINK WE'VE BEEN DOWN THAT ROAD BEFORE, HOLLY, SO--
THIS WOULD BE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ROAD,
A TOTALLY PLATONIC ONE--
TWO FRIENDS WHO HAVE NO ONE TO BE WITH ON A HOLIDAY.
COME ON. FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE?
(Robert) WELL, I KNOW IT MAY SEEM UNLIKELY,
BUT LIKE KENNEDY SAID, "FORTUNE FAVORS THE BRAVE."
NO, VIRGIL WROTE THAT.
KENNEDY SAID, "THOSE WHO DARE TO FAIL MISERABLY
CAN ACHIEVE GREATLY."
SAME DIFFERENCE.
SO WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
WELL, AFTER I FIGURED IT OUT.
I MEAN, DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU
THAT SOME OF THE PEOPLE WHO YOU WORK WITH
THEN THEY'LL QUIT.
DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE PART
OF A PRESIDENTIAL RACE,
REALLY?
'CAUSE I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN THAT YOU DON'T SEE YOURSELF
RUNNING COMMUNICATIONS FOR A SENATOR
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
YOU AND I BOTH KNOW IT'D BE A PROFOUND WASTE OF YOUR TALENT.
YOU OUGHT TO BE CENTER STAGE, NOT BUSH LEAGUE.
WE REALLY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR MIXING OF METAPHORS.
SENATOR, I'M--I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'RE--
YOU'RE JUST NOT GONNA GET THE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION.
WELL, THEN I'LL WORK ON MY METAPHORS.
AH.
HERE WE GO.
MICHAEL.
KOREAN CELL PHONE COMPANY WE RECENTLY ACQUIRED--
NOTHING BUT A THORN IN MY SIDE.
MICHAEL, I WANT YOU TO MEET KITTY WALKER.
KITTY, MICHAEL PELLINGTON,
WHAT A TITLE.
BOB FLATTERS ME. I DIDN'T PILLAGE ANYONE'S VALLEY.
I MIGHT HAVE PLUNDERED IT SLIGHTLY.
(Kevin) WHO IS THIS GUY,
THE GUY MICHELLE'S TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH?
AM I GONNA LIKE HIM?
NO. YOU'VE ALREADY FALLEN FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.
THIS WHOLE AFFAIR'S GIVING MY ULCER AN ANXIETY ATTACK.
IT'S MY CAREER, KEV. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.
I KNOW. IT'S JUST TAKING ITS TOLL ON ME, THAT'S ALL.
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA WANT ANYTHING MORE THAN WHAT WE HAVE,
AND I'M ALWAYS GOING TO.
THERE'S AN INEVITABLE OUTCOME HERE, CHAD.
YOU'RE NOT MY PRISONER.
I'M NOT MAKING YOU STAY IN THIS.
NO, WE'RE BOTH YOUR PRISONER.
(man) ♪ NOSTALGIC EYES ARE WATCHIN' EVERYTHING ♪
I'M SORRY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
♪ MY DOG, HE DIED ASLEEP ♪
♪ AT NIGHT I CRIED FOR HIM ♪
♪ IT WAS SO, SO SWEET ♪
♪ SO, SO SWEET... ♪
HERE.
IT'S A...
VALENTINE.
MAKE UP FOR DRAGGING YOU
INTO THE CLOSET WITH ME FOR THIS LONG.
♪ THEN IN THE EVENING ♪
♪ NOTHIN'... ♪
THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH.
NO, IT'S NOT.
PLEASE COME TONIGHT.
I KNOW WE CAN'T BE TOGETHER FOR VALENTINE'S DAY,
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU.
♪ YOU ♪
OH, LOOK. HERE'S A PICTURE OF YOU AND TYLER.
I REALLY LIKED HER. SHE WAS SO SWEET
AND HAD DIRECTION, NOT LIKE THE OTHER ONE--
WHAT WAS HER NAME, CHICK OR CALF OR--
FAWN, MOM, FAWN.
FAWN. I DIDN'T CARE FOR FAWN.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TYLER?
UH, SHE'S SEEING SOMEONE ELSE.
OH.
HAVE YOU GIVEN HER A CALL?
NOPE. I'M GONNA LEAVE THAT ALONE.
NO GIRL WANTS TO BE LEFT ALONE.
AND SO WHAT IF SHE TURNS YOU DOWN
ONCE OR TEN TIMES?
THE ONLY THINGS OF REAL VALUE IN LIFE
ARE THE THINGS YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR.
THAT'S GREAT, MOM. SO YOU'RE TEACHING ME TO BE A STALKER.
WELL, SINCE YOU HAVE NO PLANS FOR VALENTINE'S DAY,
MAYBE WE COULD DO SOMETHING TOGETHER.
I HAVE RESERVATIONS AT THIS GREAT LITTLE FRENCH RESTAURANT.
AFTER THAT, MAYBE WE COULD GO TO THE ANIMATED MOVIE...
WITH THE ANIMALS, YOU KNOW, THAT ESCAPE FROM THE ZOO
WHAT UP?
Uh-oh. You only call me Snot Face
WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING. WHAT IS IT?
UH, YEAH. YEAH. LISTEN, UM, I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO ASK
ON VALENTINE'S DAY, AND YOU JUST GOT HOME AND EVERYTHING,
AND YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY SAY NO, BUT, UM, IS THERE ANY CHANCE
YOU COULD BABYSIT FOR PAIGE AND COOPER TONIGHT?
ABSOLUTELY, I'M IN. I'LL BE RIGHT OVER.
(dial tone drones)
WHAT?
I NEED TO GO BABYSIT FOR JOE AND SARAH. I LOVE YOU.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. I'M SORRY.
WELL, I COULD... BABYSIT.
OH, BUT--BUT WE HAVEN'T ASKED YOU FOR ANYTHING YET.
YET.
BUT YOU WILL.
IN FACT, YOU WILL ASK ME FOR MONEY,
ENOUGH TO BANKROLL THE FIRST FEW MONTHS--
KEEP TALKIN'.
YOU SEE, MISS WALKER, PEOPLE DON'T COME
TO MY OFFICE FOR THE VIEW, CERTAINLY NOT WAR HERO SENATORS
I PREFER "MAINSTREAM."
YOUR ENTIRE POLITICAL CAREER
HAS BEEN AIMED TOWARDS THE WHITE HOUSE,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I ADMIRE THAT.
BUT, BOB, AND I'M SORRY TO BE THE ONE TO TELL YOU THIS,
YOU ARE A POOR INVESTMENT.
SEE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET THE NOMINATION.
YOU'RE YOUNG, YOU'RE CATHOLIC, YOU'RE FROM CALIFORNIA,
YOUR BROTHER'S GAY, AND FORGET ALL THAT,
THERE'S THE DIVORCE.
IT TOTALLY KNOCKS YOU OUT OF THIS ROUND.
BUT EVEN IF YOU COULD,
IT WOULDN'T MAKE YOU MORE RIGHT.
VOTERS JUST WANT SOMEBODY WHO CAN DO THE JOB.
THEY WANT A LEADER, AND LEADERS ARE NOT MADE BY SATISFYING
SOME SET OF CRITERIA, MARITAL OR OTHERWISE.
IN FACT, LEADERS AREN'T MADE AT ALL.
THEY STAND OUT, SELF-EVIDENT,
BECAUSE THEY CAN LEAD,
AND YOU HAPPEN TO BE SITTING ACROSS FROM SOMEBODY WHO CAN.
NOW PLEASE, WE'RE NOT TRYING TO SELL YOU.
WE'RE NOT TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU,
BUT I DO THINK THAT BY 2008, WHEN WE'RE TRANSITIONING
INTO THE WHITE HOUSE, YOU'RE GONNA BE DAMN SORRY
THAT YOU MISSED THIS OPPORTUNITY.
SO I THINK WE'RE DONE HERE.
OH, BUT THERE IS ONE MORE THING.
HIS NAME'S NOT BOB. IT'S ROBERT.
AND YOU REALLY SHOULD BE CALLING HIM "SENATOR."
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DIDN'T ELECT HIM TO OFFICE
TO BE CALLED "BOB," MIKE.
SHE HASN'T BEEN DOING THIS LONG, HAS SHE?
NO, NOT AT ALL.
SHOULD I GO GET HER?
OH, NO, NO, NO. IT'S, UH... LET ME.
(door rattles)
MISS WALKER, I'M INTRIGUED BY YOUR ENTHUSIASM FOR THE SENATOR.
CLEARLY HE HAS MADE A BELIEVER OUT OF YOU,
AND FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, THAT IS NOT AN EASY TASK.
THAT IS IMPRESSIVE.
SO IF YOU'RE FREE THIS EVENING, I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT IT OVER DINNER.
WELL, SURE, I THINK THE SENATOR AND I ARE FREE.
NO, NOT HIM. JUST YOU.
HMM.
(dance music playing)
(woman) ♪ HE MAKES HIS GAME... ♪
HEY. HOW'S IT GOING?
SO I CAN END UP THE LEAD STORY
ON "DEFAMER" TOMORROW? NO, THANKS.
IT'LL MAKE YOU MORE COMFORTABLE,
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW--
THERE YOU ARE. I NEED YOU.
AND I NEED YOU...
YOU FOR DANCING,
AND YOU FOR MEETING THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS.
YOU SHOULD REALLY HAVE US TRADE.
KEVIN, THIS IS SCOTTY.
KEVIN...
NICE TO MEET YOU.
YEAH, NICE TO MEET YOU.
♪ HE MAKES HIS GAME... ♪
THIS IS SO LAME. CAN'T WE GO DO SOMETHING, UNCLE JUSTIN?
ICE CREAM!
NO ICE CREAM!
I'M NOT PUTTING ANY MORE SUGAR IN YOU, LITTLE BOY.
WE'RE ALLOWED TO STAY UP UNTIL 4:00.
SO DOES UNCLE JUSTIN LOOK THAT STUPID TO YOU?
OH! OH, YEAH, YEAH! WHERE THE LION--
YEAH, I THINK IT'S ON TV TONIGHT.
I THINK IT'S ON TV TONIGHT. WE CAN WATCH IT.
(cell phone ringing)
THAT'S MY PHONE. THAT'S MY PHONE. WHERE'S MY PHONE?
I WANT A CELL PHONE.
NO CELL PHONES FOR--TYLER?
TYLER!
WHO'S THAT?
UH, THAT'S, UH, THAT'S PAIGE. I'M--I'M BABYSITTING.
YEAH, I KIND OF FIGURED YOU'D BE STAG ON VALENTINE'S DAY.
UH, YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU?
JUST WAITING FOR MY BOYFRIEND TO SHOW UP.
UM, WE'RE GOING TO SOME ITALIAN PLACE IN LOS FELIZ,
AND I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE
SOMEONE WISHED YOU A HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
And I guess I was thinking, and...
NEVER MIND. I SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED.
This was a bad idea. I gotta go.
(Cooper imitates monster roar)
ALL RIGHT, I GOT AN IDEA. WHO'S HUNGRY? WHO'S HUNGRY?
(Paige) YEAH!
BUT NO ICE CREAM! I HAVEN'T-- WHAT ABOUT ITALIAN?
EMILY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING WITH ME TONIGHT.
CAN'T LET A GOOD RESERVATION GO TO WASTE.
UH-OH.
OH, HONEY, I KNOW THAT LOOK.
THAT'S THE--
THAT'S THE "EVERYBODY IN THE RESTAURANT'S
(grunts)
I'M SORRY. I'M PATHETIC.
YOU GO ON. I'LL JUST--
REALLY?
WELL, I THINK THIS IS AN EASY ONE TO DIAGNOSE.
I MEAN, HERE WE ARE USING THIS RESERVATION THAT I MADE
IN ANTICIPATION THAT MY HUSBAND WOULD BE ALIVE.
MM-HMM.
AND HE'S... NOT.
AND MY CHILDREN ARE ALL GROWN WITH LIVES OF THEIR OWN,
WHICH IS GREAT. IT'S FABULOUS. I DON'T KNOW, EMILY.
OOH.
OH, HONEY, YOU SO NEED TO GET OUT MORE.
I MEAN, I KNOW IT'S HARD,
FORCE MYSELF TO WHAT?
FORCE MYSELF TO WHAT? I'M GONNA START OVER AGAIN AT 60?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.
YOU NEED SOMETHING THAT WILL TAKE YOUR MIND OFF EVERYTHING,
SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP YOU RELAX,
AND I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE WHAT YOU NEED HERE,
WHERE I KEEP IT WITH ME AT ALL TIMES.
TA-DA!
NO.
PUT THAT AWAY!
WHAT'S IT--IT'LL BE FUN!
IT'S NO BIG DEAL. IT'S JUST GRASS.
WHAT IS THIS, PEER PRESSURE? PUT THAT AWAY!
OF COURSE IT'S PEER PRESSURE.
PEER PRESSURE'S WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.
YOU KNOW THAT.
NO, NO, NO.
I'LL BET YOU YOU HAVEN'T LET DOWN THAT PERFECT,
STILL-BROWN HAIR FOR A LONG TIME, HAVE YOU?
NO, ABSOLUTELY--
JUSTIN JUST GOT OUT OF REHAB, FOR GOODNESS--
I-I NEVER LIKED GRASS. IT MAKES ME STUPID.
I WOULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW--
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THE '60s. NO.
DARLING, NOBODY REMEMBERS THE '60s.
THAT WAS HALF THE FUN.
YOU DO REMEMBER HOW TO HAVE FUN, DON'T YOU?
(Scotty) AREN'T YOU THE LITTLE RISK-TAKER?
LOOK AT YOU, REALLY MAKING A STATEMENT THIS EVENING--
DRESSED TO TAKE THE SINGLES OUT OF THE PARTY.
LOOK, I KNOW I CAN'T STOP YOU FROM HATING ME,
BUT DO YOU THINK YOU COULD PULL BACK
MAYBE.
THAT IS QUITE THE MASCULINE WATCH.
I GUESS NOT. THAT'S QUITE THE MASCULINE HAIRCUT.
OH.
(man) ♪ YOU'RE SO GOOD FOR ME... ♪
YOU OKAY?
SCOTT, RIGHT?
TEE. CLOSE ENOUGH.
YOU GOOD, KEV?
YEAH, GREAT.
OKAY.
♪ I'VE RESISTED THIS, YOU HAVE, TOO... ♪
MY GAYDAR JUST REDLINED.
♪ I WANT YOU... ♪
I DO BOOT CAMP WITH HER.
NO, YOU DO BOOT CAMP WITH HIM.
TO BEING FRIENDS OF FRIENDS.
♪ MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, SHALL I DARE... ♪
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, HONESTLY.
WHAT WERE THE ODDS? HOW MANY GAY LAWYER KEVINS
DO YOU THINK THERE ARE IN THIS TOWN?
I'LL TELL YOU THIS MUCH--
NEITHER COULD YOU--
"KEVIN, THE HOT TEDDY BEAR OF AN ATTORNEY."
TELL ME, DID I LIVE UP TO THE HYPE?
BEYOND MY WILDEST EXPECTATIONS.
HOW ABOUT ME?
BETTER THAN ADVERTISED.
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT. I'M A LITTLE DRUNK.
YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME.
OH, IS THAT A PREMATURE EXCUSE?
♪ ...GOT TO DO ♪
♪ IF I WANNA GET TOGETHER WITH YOU ♪
♪ IF I WANNA GET TOGETHER WITH YOU... ♪
I MISS YOU SOMETIMES.
ME, TOO.
SOMETIMES.
WOW, THIS IS AMAZING.
YOU'VE RENTED OUT THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT.
RENTING IS A WASTE OF MONEY. IT'S EXPENSE WITHOUT EQUITY.
I-I OWN THE PLACE.
YOU OWN THE RESTAURANT.
UH, NO, I OWN THE HOTEL.
UH, THE RESTAURANT KIND OF CAME WITH IT. I...
I BOUGHT THE HOTEL BECAUSE MY VERY FIRST BUSINESS MEETING
YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANTED A MEMENTO,
I'M SURE THEY PROBABLY SOLD POSTCARDS IN THE GIFT SHOP.
I WAS TRYING TO GET THE OWNER TO INVEST
IN MY FIRST TECH COMPANY, AND HE TURNED ME DOWN FLAT.
SO WHEN I TOOK THE COMPANY PUBLIC,
I CAME BACK HERE, AND I BOUGHT HIS HOTEL.
WELL, HE MADE A VERY BIG MISTAKE UNDERESTIMATING YOU.
WELL...
MMM. BUT I'M HAVING A VERY HARD TIME BEING IMPRESSED
BY YOUR GOOD INVESTMENTS WHEN YOU'RE SO WILLING
TO PASS UP A GREAT ONE.
I'M IMPRESSED WITH YOU, WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING
AS BEING IMPRESSED WITH YOUR BOSS.
WELL, IF YOU'RE AS IMPRESSED WITH ME AS YOU SAY YOU ARE,
WHY DO YOU THINK WE'RE SITTING HERE HAVING DINNER?
BUT I WILL NEED MORE THAN YOUR ENDORSEMENT
TO WRITE THE KIND OF CHECK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
DID YOU KNOW THAT IN THE LAST ELECTION,
ONLY 26% OF YOUNG VOTERS PUT THEIR TRUST
IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY?
26%.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE WHILE WE WERE VERY CONCERNED
WITH OUR MEDALS AND OUR RELIGION AND OUR FAMILY VALUES,
THE FUTURE OF THIS COUNTRY WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE
TO BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN THE COLLEGE CAMPUS
AND THE RETIREMENT HOME.
SENATOR McCALLISTER IS THAT SOMEONE.
(laughing)
MMM. YOU FEELING BETTER? I FEEL BETTER.
♪♪♪
YOU KNOW... (snorts) ON THE ONE HAND HERE...
YEAH?
YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.
GOOD, GOOD. AND ON THE OTHER HAND?
WHAT ARE YOU FEELING ON THE OTHER HAND?
LET ME LOOK. I'M GONNA THROW UP.
OOH. OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, I'M RELAXED.
(hums) ♪ MMM ♪
RELAX, RELAX. EVERYONE DOES THIS, YOU KNOW?
EVERYONE DOES A LOT OF THINGS.
YEAH, EVERYONE DOES A LOT OF THINGS.
EVERYONE DOES A LOT OF THINGS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
"EVERYONE DOES A LOT OF THINGS." I'M GONNA WRITE IT DOWN.
I GOTTA FIND MY PENCIL AND WRITE IT--
YOU CAN WRITE IT DOWN IN YOUR MIND, YOU KNOW.
WHAT?
I LOST MY FACE. WHERE'S MY FACE?
I ONCE HAD A FACE AND A LIFE.
OHH.
I USED TO BE PRETTY. I USED TO BE HAPPY.
(sniffles) I LOST IT ALL.
YOU STILL LOOK LIKE YOU'RE 40 TO ME.
IS THAT 40?
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.
OH!
OH! GET THIS--
OH, NO!
NO, SHH! NOW YOU--YOU DO NOT--
OKAY, YES, SIR.
OH, MY GOD.
YES, YOU'RE EMILY CRAFT.
I'M NORA WALKER.
WE'RE TWO NICE OLD LADIES. OUT YOU GO.
OUT YOU GO. LEGS TOGETHER.
OFFICER?
HAVING A LITTLE FUN TONIGHT, LADIES?
SIR, I CAN REALLY EXPLAIN THIS.
I DOUBT THAT VERY MUCH, MA'AM.
YOU TWO ARE UNDER ARREST FOR SUSPICION OF POSSESSION
AND THE USE OF A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE.
(both laugh)
UNCLE JUSTIN,
WHY ARE WE GOING TO SO MANY DIFFERENT RESTAURANTS?
BECAUSE THERE WAS LIKE 19 DIFFERENT ITALIAN RESTAURANTS
IN LOS FELIZ,
AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY FRIEND TYLER IS.
UM...
UH, YES, I DO. EXCUSE ME.
(soft piano jazz playing)
HEY.
JUSTIN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
NO, YOU CAN'T.
TYLER, WHO IS THIS GUY?
HE'S, UH... HE'S A FRIEND.
GROSS.
WE WEREN'T THAT SERIOUS, ACTUALLY.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN?
HOW ABOUT YOU GET ON YOUR WAY RIGHT NOW?
LOOK, I'LL GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT AFTER I SAY
WHAT I CAME TO 19 DIFFERENT RESTAURANTS TO SAY.
LOOK, I DIDN'T COME HERE TO WIN YOU BACK, TYLER.
I HOPE YOU'LL COME BACK TO ME.
BUT I'M NOT DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK THAT ANYONE CAN JUST WIN YOU.
BUT I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME.
AND I-IT'S PART OF GETTING CLEAN,
AND--AND GETTING CLEAN IS THE HARDEST THING
I'VE EVER DONE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
BUT ONE OF THE THINGS THAT GOT ME THROUGH IT IS THE HOPE
THAT SOMEDAY, THAT I'LL--
I'LL GET TO BE WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU AGAIN.
SO HAPPY VALENTINE'S. I'M-- I'M--I'M SORRY I RUINED IT,
UM, BUT YOU CALLED ME FIRST.
I'M SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR MEAL.
UM, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
UNCLE JUSTIN, I'M SORRY.
OH, THANKS, PAIGE. THAT'S SWEET.
JUSTIN!
CAN I SEE YOU LATER?
UH... YEAH, YEAH!
YEAH, THAT'D BE GREAT.
I WOULD KISS YOU RIGHT NOW,
BUT IT WOULD BE A REALLY ROTTEN THING TO DO.
UH, UH, CALL ME. I'LL BE ON MY CELL.
OKAY. OKAY, BYE.
BYE.
(laughs)
YEAH!
(knock on door)
WE ARE CELEBRATING.
DANCING?
IT'S A MIXED METAPHOR. I SPOKE TO PELLINGTON.
HE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSIONS
I HOPE YOU DIDN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES.
NO, I TOLD HIM YOU CAN'T
JUST TAX EMISSIONS AND HINDER BUSINESS.
YOU GOTTA USE THE FREE MARKET AND BUILD A GREEN ECONOMY.
HE'S IN.
I'M SERIOUS. PUT ON YOUR DANCIN' SHOES.
I THINK WE'D BETTER HOLD OFF ON OUR RUG CUTTING
I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT.
AS LONG AS YOU DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM.
WELL, THIS ISN'T "INDECENT PROPOSAL,"
AND BELIEVE ME, I AM NO DEMI MOORE.
OH. I ALWAYS HAD A MAJOR THING FOR HER.
HEY, THERE'S STILL A FEW MORE HOURS LEFT IN VALENTINE'S DAY.
I THINK WE SHOULD GO FIND ALL THE HAPPY COUPLES
AND, YOU KNOW, THROW THINGS AT THEM.
SENATOR, I...
I THINK YOU NEED TO GO.
IT'S LATE,
AND, UH...
I'M TIRED.
GOOD NIGHT.
(sighs)
(knock on door)
WHY?
IF WE BOTH FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT EACH OTHER,
WHY SHOULD I GO?
AND IF YOU SAY IT'S BECAUSE YOU WORK FOR ME,
OR YOU'RE ON A MAN-CLEANSE OR 'CAUSE I'M RECENTLY DIVORCED
OR WHATEVER OTHER EXCUSE YOU'RE GONNA COME UP WITH,
THEN I'M HERE TO TELL YOU YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE OUTARGUED,
BECAUSE WHILE YOU WERE DOWN THERE DINING,
I WAS COMING UP WITH A LIST OF COUNTERPOINTS--
SENATOR, YOU ARE EYING A RUN FOR THE U.S. PRESIDENCY.
YOU--YOU JUST CAN'T AFFORD ANY DISTRACTIONS RIGHT NOW.
IN A DEBATE, I GET A REBUTTAL.
(sighs) OKAY.
OKAY, WHAT? WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY SAY THAT--MMM, MMM!
OKAY.
OKAY, WELL, YOU MAKE A GOOD POINT.
AND FURTHERMORE...
WHAT, THAT WE'RE BOTH HAVING SEXES WITH EXES?
(beeping)
MOM'S CALLING. LOOK, I'M GONNA HANG UP
SO IT'LL GO STRAIGHT TO VOICE MAIL,
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, BYE.
(cell phone beeps)
GOOD MORNING, MISTER.
(cell phone rings)
OH... I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO TAKE THIS.
HEY, HOW WAS THE REST OF THE PARTY?
YOU WENT HOME WITH THAT GUY, DIDN'T YOU?
UH, IS THAT FAIR?
DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM?
THAT'S ALL I WANT TO KNOW.
UH, YOU DON'T, ACTUALLY, WANT TO KNOW.
I WAS GONNA TALK TO MICHELLE.
I was gonna...
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT? CHAD, DON'T--
DON'T CALL ME, ALL RIGHT?
(beep)
OH.
SO LAST NIGHT WAS ABOUT MAKING SOMEONE ELSE JEALOUS.
(sighs)
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, IT OBVIOUSLY WORKED.
YOU KNOW, YOU ALMOST HAVE TO LOVE THE IRONY.
YOU'RE RIGHT WHERE I WAS WITH YOU A FEW MONTHS AGO.
YOU KNOW, YOU ENDED THINGS WITH ME, SCOTTY.
NOW YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO LOVE SOMEONE
WHO DOESN'T LOVE HIMSELF.
I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.
GOOD LUCK, KEVIN.
(Nora) IT'S JUST A TRAVESTY.
I MEAN, WHAT HAS THIS CITY COME TO
WHEN THE POLICE ARE ARRESTING TWO LITTLE, OLD--
TWO MATURE WOMEN AND THROWING 'EM IN JAIL
WELL, MAYBE IF YOU HAD SHOWN SOME MATURITY
AND NOT RESISTED ARREST...
I NEVER RESIST-- NO ONE EVER RE--OH.
WOULDN'T MY TAX DOLLARS BE BETTER SPENT
ARRESTING DRUG DEALERS OR BANGERS?
GANGBANGERS.
MOM, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE SO JUDGMENTAL
NOW THAT YOU HAVE A RECORD.
ANY CHANCE OF YOU NOT TELLING YOUR SIBLINGS ABOUT THIS?
MMM, NOT A BIG CHANCE, NO.
SARAH, PLEASE, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY--
I'M THE ONE WHO BOUGHT YOU YOUR FIRST BRA.
I'M NOT ABOVE PLAYING THE GUILT CARD.
SORRY, MOM.
WHO DID YOU TELL?
OH, COME ON, MOM! YOU SPENT A NIGHT IN JAIL FOR SMOKING POT.
THIS FAMILY SHOULD HAVE, LIKE, A BAT SIGNAL
FOR THINGS THAT GOOD.
OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD BE TRYING TO LIVE
AS MANY GREAT STORIES AS I COULD.
YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY FOR TOO LONG.
YEAH, I KNOW.
BEING GOOD FOR THIS FAMILY
HAS BEEN MY SOLE PURPOSE OF EXISTENCE
FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER.
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE IT'S THE RESIDUAL CANNABIS TALKING,
BUT WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE SUPPOSED TO BE
TO ENJOY IT HOWEVER YOU WANT.
(teakettle whistling)
YOU--YOU SHOULD JUST BE WORRIED ABOUT HAVING FUN.
THOUGH YOU MIGHT WANT TO DRAW THE LINE
AT THINGS THAT GET YOU ARRESTED.
YEAH.
WELL, IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU,
I AM GONNA TAKE A SHOWER FOR ABOUT AN HOUR.
HERE.
THANK YOU FOR PICKING ME UP.
OF COURSE, MOM. I KNOW YOU'D DO THE SAME FOR ME.
(laughs) SORRY.
OH, THAT JAIL HAD A PARTICULAR SMELL,
LIKE LILACS DIPPED IN URINE.
EW.
(both) YEAH!
OH, NO.
(laughing)
WHO KNEW YOU WERE THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY?
SURE.
SHUT UP.
NO. GOD.
(Sarah) SO WHAT'S UP?
MM-HMM.
HOLLY'S GOING TO THE BOARD TO TRY TO OVERTURN
YOUR DECISION NOT TO COUNTER ON THE VINEYARD.
THAT WOMAN IS A NUT JOB.
UH...
I'M BACKING HER PLAY.
YOU'RE WHAT?
LOOK, I THINK THE OPPORTUNITY'S RIGHT.
I THINK THE INVESTMENT IS RIGHT,
AND I THINK IT'S WHAT DAD WANTED.
I'M VOTING WITH HOLLY.
WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
WE GO DOWNSTAIRS.
THEN WHAT?
I'M GONNA GO TO MY OFFICE, CHECK MY E-MAIL,
NO, NO, I MEANT ABOUT YOU AND ME.
NO, I MEAN IF YOU DON'T THINK THAT THIS IS GONNA WORK,
THEN--THEN--THEN I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.
I MEAN, IF IT'S TOO COMPLICATED FOR YOU
AND--AND YOUR KIDS AND--AND YOUR DIVORCE
AND YOUR--AND NOT TO MENTION YOUR--YOUR PRESIDENTIAL BID,
I MEAN, WE CAN, HONESTLY,
WE CAN JUST PRETEND THAT LAST NIGHT NEVER HAPPENED.
I MEAN, NO, NO, NO, NOT THAT IT WASN'T MEMORABLE.
I MEAN, IT WAS. IT WAS-- YOU KNOW, IT WAS GREAT.
BUT... (sighs) BUT IF YOU DON'T THINK
THIS WILL DEFINITELY WORK, YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM.
I LIKE YOU.
OH, GREAT. YOU LIKE ME. SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, WE GET TO HOLD HANDS
AT CINDY BURKE'S ROLLER RINK PARTY?
NO, I WAS THINKING MAYBE DINNER,
MAYBE SUSHI.
BUT I DON'T RENT OUT ENTIRE RESTAURANTS, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE.
OH, NO, HE--HE ACTUALLY-- HE OWNS IT.
MY POINT BEING,
PEOPLE ARE GONNA SEE US, KITTY,
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I WON'T BE CARING.
(Breaks Co-Op) ♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH ♪
♪ ON THE OTHER SIDE ♪
♪♪♪