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Hello everyone! I'm James Moran, and you've caught me at a completely unstaged, unrehearsed, spontaneous moment!
You probably know me as the writer of Severance,
Cockneys Vs Zombies, Tower Block, and episodes of Doctor Who, Torchwood, Spooks, Primeval,
and many, many other fine, fine entertainments.
I wanted video clips to kind of appear around me when I said that, but I don't know how to do it.
This is exactly why I need help - from you!
I'm here to raise money for a short film so that I don't have to go out there and sell myself on the streets of MovieLand.
Please don't make me do that. There are evil producers out there with big cigars, and some of the things they do to writers are horrible.
Like shoving (BEEP) down my (BEEP).
And (BEEP)-ing my (BEEP)s with massive purple (BEEP)s.
And getting li-(BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP).
If you help me fund this short, then you will be part of it, and you can say "I helped to make that!"
Just think how popular you'll be with all your friends!
And if they're not happy for you - they're NOT your friends.
People keep saying I should write something nice and lovely, so this short film is a romantic comedy.
Okay, it's a romantic comedy about a serial killer, but I'm trying! I'm trying!
It's dark, and it's funny, and it's bloody, and it's silly, and I really hope you like it, because deep down, I just want to be loved.
So, read the text down there, and have a look at the rewards over there...
...or possibly over there, I'm not quite sure about the whole way the screen keeps flipping around...
...and hopefully there'll be something to tickle your fancy.
If you can't donate, that's absolutely fine, but I'd really appreciate it if you could send the link around to spread the word.
If you don't - I will find you. But no pressure!
So please donate! And/or spread the word! Thank you! I love you!
Triumphant freeze-frame!
How the (BEEP) do you do a (BEEP) freeze-frame? [Typing sounds]
I am the best... writer in the world! I am the best... writer in the world! I am the best... writer in the world!
Sorry... I can't quite figure out how to delete that, just ignore it.
(BEEEEEEEEEP)