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(chatting indistinctly)
(gasps) LOOK AT MAX.
HE KNOWS HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE INTERNET
WHEN WE'RE NOT AT HOME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'S LOOKING AT?
I DON'T KNOW. HE'S A BOY. HE'S 14. HE'S ALONE.
I'M SURE HE'S CHECKING HIS STOCKS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'S LOOKING AT, ANGIE?
THAT'S A MAGIC BOX FULL OF NAKED WOMEN.
(gasps)
OH, WELL, WE'LL NEVER SEE.
HE'S SO FAST, THE SECOND WE GO IN THERE,
NOT THIS TIME.
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
IT'S NOT A WEB SITE.
HE'S TALKING ONLINE TO SOMEBODY NAMED "Z-GIRL."
RELAX, THAT'S ZOEY. SHE'S 13. SHE LIVES IN CHICAGO.
I MET HER IN A CHAT ROOM.
MAX, THIS IS THE INTERNET.
FOR ALL YOU KNOW, YOU COULD BE TALKING
TO SOME OLD DUDE WHO STANDS AT THE WINDOW ALL DAY,
WEARING BOXERS AND EATING CEREAL.
MR. VASQUEZ, ACROSS THE STREET?
YES. HE WATCHED ME MOW THE LAWN YESTERDAY.
IT WAS HOT, BUT I PUT MY SHIRT BACK ON
BECAUSE NO ONE GETS THIS SHOW FOR FREE.
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE NOISE? YOU JUST WOKE ME UP.
YOU LEFT MAX ALONE.
HE WAS TALKING TO SOME STRANGER ON THE INTERNET.
WE PAY YOU TO WATCH OUR KIDS,
NOT GET DRUNK AND PASS OUT ON THE COUCH.
HEY, I'M 1-FOR-2. CARMEN'S OKAY.
IS SHE STILL HERE?
DON'T WORRY, OKAY?
THE WAY SHE WAS DRESSED, SHE WILL GET A RIDE HOME.
CAN I PLEASE GET BACK ON THE INTERNET?
I CAN SHOW YOU ZOEY'S A GIRL.
SHE SENT ME HER PICTURE.
THAT PICTURE COULD BE FAKE.
ERNIE USES ANTONIO BANDERAS' PICTURE TO PICK UP WOMEN ONLINE.
THEN WHEN HE MEETS THEM,
HE TELLS 'EM HE GAINED WEIGHT FOR "ZORRO, THE LATER YEARS."
DAD, YOU'RE WRONG.
ZOEY'S A GIRL, AND SHE GETS ME.
SHE L-O-Ls AT ALL OF MY JOKES.
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU THE TYPE OF PERSON
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
PRETENDING TO BE YOU. WHAT'S YOUR SCREEN NAME?
"RIPPED-TO-THE-MAX."
OH, QUE LA. THERE'S ONLY ONE THING YOU RIPPED.
(makes buzzing sound)
(sighs)
DUDE, I THINK THE TWINS ARE SWITCHING ON US.
THEY'RE TESTING US.
THEY WANNA MAKE SURE THAT WE KNOW THEY'RE DIFFERENT,
THAT THEY EACH HAVE UNIQUE PERSONALITIES.
TAKE THIS, AND YOU PUT A MARK ON ONE OF 'EM
SO WE CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE.
YOU WANT ME TO BRAND MY DATE?
(instant messenger chimes)
"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?"
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M CHATTING WITH SOMEONE.
YEAH, SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WEARING.
WHO ASKS THAT?
I ASK THAT.
YOU SEE?
CREEPY.
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MAX.
WHO'S MAX?
RELAX. HE'S 14.
HE'S MY FRIEND WHO LIVES IN CALIFORNIA. I MET HIM ONLINE.
WHAT, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT KIND OF PERVERTS HANG OUT IN THESE CHAT ROOMS.
PEOPLE LIE ABOUT THEMSELVES ALL THE TIME, ZOE.
YEAH, AND NOT JUST ON THE INTERNET.
I, UH, KNOW A GUY WHO, UH,
PRETENDED TO BE HOMELESS SO HE COULD MEET THIS HOT GIRL
WHO WORKED AT A SOUP KITCHEN.
(sighs) I TOTALLY HAD HER
UNTIL I INVITED HER BACK TO MY PENTHOUSE.
LET'S SEE HOW OLD MAX REALLY IS.
UNCLE FREDDIE!
I'M-A BEAT YOU.
"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE 14?
"'CAUSE YOU SOUND WAY MORE MATURE
THAN ANY 14-YEAR-OLD I KNOW."
YOU KNOW HE CAN'T HEAR YOU.
I'M IN CHARACTER!
"I AM MATURE FOR MY AGE.
I DO LOTS OF ADULT THINGS."
"ADULT THINGS"?
OH, COME ON, THIS IS NO 14-YEAR-OLD.
"YEAH, I'M WITH YOU.
"PEOPLE ONLY MAKE AGE A BIG DEAL
"'CAUSE THEY'RE TRYING TO STOP YOU
FROM DOING STUFF THAT'S... FUN."
THERE IT IS.
YOU SEE THAT, MAX? ANYTHING "FUN" IS ***.
TRUE DAT.
DAD, THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ZOEY.
BECAUSE I TRICKED "ZOEY"
INTO REVEALING HIS TRUE IDENTITY.
NOW I'M-A DRAW HIM OUT.
"I LIKE TO DO FUN THINGS, TOO,
"LIKE SKATEBOARDING, VIDEO GAMES.
"OH...
TICKLE PARTIES."
THIS GUY'S A SICKO!
OKAY, LET'S SEE IF HE'LL GIVE UP WHERE HE LIVES.
"IF YOU TELL ME THE ADDRESS OF THIS...
"TICKLE PARTY,
I'LL TELL YOU WHERE MY TICKLE SPOT IS."
(gasps)
"TICKLE SPOT"? THAT'S NOT A GIRL!
THEY NEVER TELL YOU WHERE IT IS. THEY TRY TO MAKE YOU FIND IT.
AND WHEN YOU CAN'T, THEY MAKE YOU FEEL BAD.
"GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS, AND I'LL GIVE YOU MINE."
(scoffs)
"SURE...
"JUST GIVE ME YOURS FIRST."
THAT'S IT!
HE'S KNOW I'M ON TO HIM, BUT HE WON'T BREAK.
(instant messenger logs off)
I KNEW IT. I SPOOKED HIM AWAY.
(both) I'LL BET WITH THIS GUY'S E-MAIL ADDRESS,
I CAN FIND OUT WHERE HE LIVES.
I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS ON YOUR ***!
(War's "Low Rider" playing)
♪ ALL MY FRIENDS ♪
♪ KNOW THE LOW RIDER ♪
♪ THE LOW RIDER ♪
♪ IS A LITTLE HIGHER ♪
OFFICER, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE TAKING ME SERIOUSLY.
IS SHE TALKING TO A POLICE?
YEAH, WE THINK A GUY'S STALKING MAX ON THE INTERNET.
AY, DIOS MIO, THAT'S HORRIBLE.
AT LEAST IN CUBA, THERE WAS NO INTERNET
WITH STRANGERS TRYING TO LURE YOU AWAY.
IF AN OLD MAN PUT HIS HAND IN YOUR PANTS,
HE WAS LOOKING FOR FOOD.
WHY WERE YOU WALKING AROUND WITH FOOD IN YOUR PANTS?
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST USE A PAPER BAG?
AND LEAVE MY DAD WITHOUT A BRIEFCASE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
MAX, GET DOWN HERE!
I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE SWAMPED, DETECTIVE, BUT--
1,500 CASES?
NO WONDER YOU'RE SO BEHIND.
GIVE ME THE PHONE. YOU'RE BEING TOO NICE.
MY SON IS BEING STALKED ON THE INTERNET.
NO, I CAN'T PROVE THE GUY'S AN ADULT.
THAT'S YOUR JOB! GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND DO IT!
DON'T THREATEN ME WITH UNPAID TICKETS.
THERE ARE A LOT OF "GEORGE LOPEZ's" IN L.A.
JUST TRY TO FIND ME!
YEAH, THAT'S MY ADDRESS.
BUT WHAT ROOM AM I CALLING YOU FROM?
DAMN IT!
THE COPS AREN'T GONNA HELP US. WE'RE ON OUR OWN.
OKAY, I PUT A FILTER ON THE COMPUTER,
SO NOW YOU CAN USE IT AGAIN.
FINALLY. YOU KNOW, IF I GET AN "F" ON MY HISTORY REPORT,
IT'S 'CAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LET ME DO RESEARCH ON THE INTERNET.
YOU COULD'VE GONE TO THE LIBRARY AND OPENED UP A BOOK.
WHY IS EVERYTHING A JOKE TO YOU?
OKAY, BUT FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN'T I.M. ANYONE
OR GO INTO ANY CHAT ROOM WITHOUT MY APPROVAL.
AND ONLY I KNOW THE SECRET PASSWORD.
IS IT "WAAPAHH"?
NOT ANYMORE.
THIS ISN'T FAIR. WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS TRUST ME?
MAX, HONEY, YOU'RE ONLY 14. YOU'RE STILL A LITTLE NAIVE.
NO, I'M NOT!
MAX, I GET YOU EVERY TIME WITH THAT FAKE STAIN THING.
I WOULD DO IT RIGHT NOW
IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE A BIG ONE RIGHT THERE. HELLO!
WELL, AT LEAST I'M NOT THE GUY
WHO HAS MAGIC UNDERWEAR TO HELP THE RAIDERS WIN.
HEY, I KNOW MY UNDERWEAR DON'T HAVE ANY MAGIC POWERS...
NOT SINCE SOMEONE BLEACHED THE MAGIC RIGHT OUT OF 'EM.
SPRING FRESHNESS. ESTá LOCA, SPRING FRESHNESS!
MOM AND DAD WON'T LET ME USE THE INTERNET.
THEY THINK I'M TALKING TO SOME OLD PERV.
WELL, THAT'S SAD.
THERE'S A DESPERATE OLD PERV OUT THERE
WHO CAN'T ANYONE BUT YOU?
IT'S A GIRL.
HEY, CAN I USE YOUR CELL PHONE TO E-MAIL HER?
UM...
NORMALLY, I'D SAY NO,
BUT THERE'S A CHANCE YOU COULD BE WRONG AND GET ABDUCTED.
SO HERE.
(instant messenger chimes)
"SORRY ABOUT THAT.
MY PARENTS KICKED ME OFF THE COMPUTER."
(instant messenger chimes)
"THAT'S OKAY. MY UNCLE HAS A BUSINESS TRIP TO L.A.,
"AND I'M GONNA ASK IF I CAN GO WITH HIM.
WE CAN ACTUALLY MEET."
"THAT WOULD BE COOLZZAAAABBBTTAAG."
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO THIS GUY ANYMORE.
DAD, STOP FREAKING OUT. IT'S A GIRL.
THIS IS HOW PEOPLE MY AGE HOOK UP.
IT'S NOT LIKE WHEN YOU AND MOM WERE DATING.
YOU JUST WENT DOWN TO THE DISCO AND DID THE TOOT.
LET'S MAKE ONE THING CLEAR--
YOUR MOTHER AND I NEVER DID DRUGS,
AND WE NEVER EVER SET FOOT IN A DISCO.
THIS IS A METAL FAMILY.
THAT'S WHY YOUR NAME IS MAX--
THE LOUDEST SETTING ON AN AMPLIFIER.
YOU WERE ALMOST "REVERB LOPEZ."
DAD, I'M GONNA TALK TO ZOEY.
I'LL JUST USE ONE OF MY FRIEND'S PHONES AT SCHOOL IF I HAVE TO.
YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
YEAH, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
WELL, YOU RAISED YOUR VOICE
AND YOU GAVE HIM A VAGUE THREAT.
WHOO!
YOU DID EVERYTHING THEY TOLD YOU TO DO
IN "WEAK PARENTING" MAGAZINE.
NO, PLEASE, PLEASE.
DON'T GIVE ME THAT DISAPPOINTED LOOK.
IT AFFECTS MY SELF-ESTEEM.
I THINK SEEING YOU CLIMBING OUT OF A TRUCKER'S CAB AT DAWN
WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON BACKWARDS WOULD TAKE CARE OF THAT.
OH, MAN, THE GUY AFTER MAX IS COMING TO L.A.
ALL RIGHT, FOOL, COME OUT HERE.
I'LL SET A TRAP AND TAKE CARE OF YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL.
ZOEY, I SAID I DON'T WANT YOU TALKING TO THIS GUY.
HE'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
YOU'LL SEE WHEN WE MEET HIM IN L.A.
WE? NAH. NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH.
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. THIS IS A BUSINESS TRIP.
THEN WHY ARE YOU TAKING CHRIS WITH YOU?
BECAUSE HE'S MY BUSINESS PARTNER.
AND I CAN GET HIM INTO THE PLAYBOY MANSION.
DUDE, YOU SCORED THAT?
COME ON, MAN. YOU KNOW HOW SMOOTH I AM.
I JUST CALLED THEM UP. I WAS LIKE,
"YO, CHRIS AND FREDDIE ARE ROLLING INTO TOWN."
HOW MUCH?
5 GRAND APIECE, AND WE'RE GAY DESIGNERS FROM GERMANY.
BUT NOT SO GAY WE CAN'T BE TURNED.
(instant messenger chimes)
AH, AH, AH, AH.
"I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU IN L.A.
I EVEN KNOW A PLACE WHERE WE CAN BE ALONE."
THIS GUY DOESN'T GIVE UP.
ALL RIGHT, DIRTBAG.
"SOUNDS GREAT. I'LL E-MAIL YOU WHEN I GET THERE."
WHEN THIS GUY GETS TO ERNIE'S APARTMENT, MOM,
I'M GONNA BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HIM.
(laughs) YEAH. WANT ME THERE FOR BACKUP?
YOU KNOW, MOM, I WOULD,
BUT AT ERNIE'S APARTMENT, THEY DON'T ALLOW PETS.
I THINK I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
COME ON, GEORGE. YOU GOT YOUR LUNCH MONEY STOLEN
BY THAT LITTLE GIRL NEXT DOOR WHO HAD A HOLE IN HER HEART.
HEY, WHEN YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE, YOU FIGHT THAT WAY.
I THOUGHT HER OXYGEN TANK WOULD SLOW HER DOWN,
BUT SHE WRAPPED THAT HOSE AROUND MY NECK, AND I WAS ALL LIKE...
HEY. HAVE YOU HEARD FROM THE PREDATOR?
IS HE IN L.A. YET?
SHH! NO, MAN, KEEP IT DOWN.
YEAH.
HEY, IT'S SCARY WITH ALL THOSE CREEPS ON THE INTERNET.
THINGS WERE A LOT SIMPLER WHEN WE WERE KIDS.
YOU KNEW WHO THE BAD GUYS WERE. THEY'D SHOW UP IN A VAN
AND ASK YOU TO HELP THEM FIND YOUR PUPPY, YOU KNOW?
THAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
NO, I WAS TOO FAT.
YEAH, THE VAN SLOWED DOWN AND LOOKED AT ME,
BUT THEN KEPT RIGHT ON GOING.
I TRIED TO JUMP IN ONE TIME,
BUT THE VATO LOCKED THE DOOR FROM THE INSIDE.
(instant messenger chimes)
HE'S HERE.
"I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU.
"I'M AT 6739 MAGNOLIA,
"APARTMENT 2B.
MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN."
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S MY APARTMENT!
WHAT ARE THE NEIGHBORS GONNA THINK
WHEN SOME CREEPY, WEIRD DUDE SHOWS UP?
I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DID THEY THINK WHEN YOU MOVED IN?
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?
UH, WE'RE GONNA PICK UP AN OVERTIME SHIFT AT THE, UM...
YEAH.
GEORGE, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHERE ARE YOU REALLY GOING?
OUT, OKAY? OUT.
ERNIE...
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
IF YOU LIE TO ME, I WILL BE VERY, VERY SAD.
WE'RE GONNA GO BEAT UP MAX'S ONLINE PERVERT.
DUDE!
I CAN'T LIE TO HER. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME!
BABY, I ONLY LIE...
TO PROTECT YOU.
DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP.
YOU'RE JUST AFRAID TO TELL ME THE TRUTH
BECAUSE YOU DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE IT.
OKAY, WANT TO HANDLE SOME TRUTH? HERE'S THIS--
YOU KNOW WHY WE GOT THE HOUSE SO CHEAP?
BECAUSE A HORRIBLE CRIME WAS COMMITTED HERE.
HERE'S A HINT...
THERE MAY BE SOMETHING TO THAT FRIGHTENED OLD LADY
WHO RUNS THROUGH YOUR DREAMS.
OH, NO. WELL, NOW I WANNA MOVE!
ARE YOU KIDDING? WE'LL NEVER SELL THIS HOUSE.
THERE WAS A BLOODBATH HERE!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LURED MAX'S STALKER HERE.
I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE. THEY WILL HANDLE THIS.
YOU ALREADY TRIED THAT.
THE COPS AREN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE.
I'M-A SOLVE THIS THE LOPEZ WAY.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ADMIT THERE'S NO "LOPEZ WAY"?!
THAT'S JUST WHAT YOU SAY
RIGHT BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID OR WRONG.
YOU GOT A BETTER IDEA?
NO, BUT I THINK WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THIS.
YEAH, WHAT'S THAT, THE "ANGIE WAY"?
TALK, TALK, TALK, UNTIL YOU COME UP WITH A REASONABLE SOLUTION.
WELL, WE'RE NOT GONNA DO THAT THIS TIME.
YOU ARE NOT GONNA WALK OUT THAT DOOR.
YES, I AM. ERNIE AND I ARE GONNA MAKE SURE
THAT THIS GUY NEVER MESSES WITH ANY KIDS ANYMORE.
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO.
WHAT IF THIS GUY STANDS HIS GROUND AND FIGHTS?
WE'RE PREPARED. RIGHT, ERNIE?
HEY, THAT'S RIGHT. WATCH OUT, CUP CHECK!
CUP CHECK.
OHH!
DAMN IT!
HEY, MAN,
YOU DON'T SAY "CUP CHECK" UNLESS YOU'RE WEARING ONE.
I NEVER PLAYED SPORTS, GEORGE.
I DON'T KNOW!
(exhaling deeply)
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, I ALWAYS WARM UP BEFORE I KICK BUTT, EH?
YA!
YOU JUST STAND BEHIND ME AND LOOK LIKE MY TOUGH FRIEND.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? JUST WATCH TV.
(telephone ringing)
HEY, IF THAT'S HIM, DON'T SAY ANYTHING. JUST BUZZ HIM IN.
YEAH, IT'S EITHER HIM OR THE PIZZA I ORDERED.
ERNIE!
WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW HOW LONG THIS WAS GONNA GO.
DUDE, CAN'T YOU GO AN HOUR WITHOUT CHEESE?
(Freddie, high-pitched voice) It's Zoey.
OKAY, THIS IS IT. NOW I'M-A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
WHEN THE GUY OPENS IT, WE GRAB HIM.
I GOTTA BE HONEST.
I'M AS COMMITTED TO THIS AS YOU ARE,
BUT IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME THAT NOTHING
ABOVE THE NECK OR BELOW THE WAIST IS IN ANY DANGER.
CHRIS, WE'VE GOT THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.
THIS GUY'S EXPECTING A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL,
AND I'VE SEEN YOU FIGHT.
YOU'RE AT LEAST A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL.
(scoffs)
A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL WHOSE PILATES INSTRUCTOR
SAYS HE HAS THE STRONGEST CORE IN THE CLASS.
(high-pitched voice) IS THAT YOU, ZOEY?
(whispers) CRACK YOUR VOICE.
IT'S ME...
(deep, throaty voice) MAX.
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY, WHO DOES HE THINK HE'S KIDDING?
(high-pitched voice) YES, THIS IS ZOEY.
LET ME IN. I WANNA HUG YOU.
(Ernie) COME ON IN, THE DOOR'S OPEN.
I WANNA HUG YOU, TOO.
MAX?
(George and Freddie) PERVERT!
I'M NOT OLD. I JUST LOOK OLD TO YOU BECAUSE I'M NOT 14.
YOU--YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF THIS.
DUDE!
NOT THE TABLE! THAT'S RENT-TO-OWN!
THIS IS HOT SAUCE.
YOU WANT THIS IN YOUR FACE?
OH, DUDE, YOU PICKED THE WRONG GUY, MAN.
I GOT HOT SAUCE ON MY FACE MOST OF THE TIME ANYWAY.
HEY, YOU'RE THE ONE AFTER MY SON.
OH, YEAH, RIGHT, YOUR "SON." I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY MAX.
ZOEY'S MY NIECE.
I GOT A PICTURE OF HER IN MY WALLET.
I GOTTA REACH IN MY POCKET TO GET IT,
OH, YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU?
YOU SEE? THAT'S ME, ZOEY AND HER MOM ON HER BIRTHDAY.
I MADE THAT CAKE.
ACTUALLY, IT WAS A CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY TORTE
WITH A ROSE PETAL SORBET.
NOW I'M REALLY AFRAID OF YOU.
OH, MAN, THAT'S THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE MAX SHOWED ME.
LET'S SEE SOME PICTURES OF YOUR KID.
ALL RIGHT. FAMILY BARBECUE.
THAT'S MY SON MAX, MY DAUGHTER CARMEN,
AND THAT'S MY WIFE ANGIE. HELLO.
OH, MAN, SHE'S PRETTY.
IS THAT A GARDEN GNOME WITH A CIGARETTE IN ITS MOUTH?
NO, MAN, THAT'S MY MOM.
I GUESS THE KIDS REALLY WERE TALKING TO EACH OTHER ONLINE.
I GUESS THIS WAS ALL A MISTAKE.
HEY, YOU DODGED A BULLET TODAY, HOLMES.
I'M SURE.
SO WHAT DOES "RENT-TO-OWN" MEAN?
SO, UH...
NO HARD FEELINGS?
I'M COOL.
HEY, WHY DON'T WE GRAB A COUPLE OF BEERS, MAN,
AND JUST FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS?
YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
YEAH, I'M IN.
YOU KNOW, I JUST NEED A MINUTE TO TAKE OUT MY CUP.
ME, TOO. YEAH, ME, TOO.
ME, TOO.
GOOD NEWS. ZOEY REALLY IS A GIRL.
I MET HER UNCLE,
AND HE INVITED US TO CHICAGO SO YOU TWO COULD MEET.
NO WAY! THAT'S SO COOL.
WAIT...
ISN'T THIS WHERE YOU SAY YOU WERE WRONG?
MAX, I WAS LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, AND I'D DO IT AGAIN
BECAUSE ¿SABES QUé? YOU'RE STILL A NAIVE BOY.
I'M 14. I'M ALMOST A MAN. I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE NOT A MAN
UNTIL YOUR HAND IS BIGGER THAN YOUR FACE.
DID YOU SPILL SODA ON YOURSELF? HELLO.