Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
You know how, if you�re in a hurry, you�ll take the steps two at a time? Or, like, if
you sleep in a bunk bed, you�ll jump down to the floor? Well, if real life were anything
like Spelunker for the Nintendo Entertainment System...you�d be f*cking dead.
There aren�t many games I love to hate as much this one. Spelunker is considered a classic
on just about every platform its ever appeared on, and for good reason. It�s an awesome
platformer with a concept that was really interesting for its time. But at the same
time, Spelunker is also known for being frustrating, and cheap.
And touchy.
And irritating, and annoying, and seriously, that�s gonna kill me?
Spelunker was released for several platforms in the early eighties before it came to arcades
in 1985 and the original Nintendo in 1987. Fast forward more than a quarter century...and
here we are. The NES version is on the Wii U�s Virtual Console, which we�re playing
here. Actually, it might be a bad idea to play this on the Wii U.
You really...I mean, the GamePad�s the least throwable controller ever.
So you play as...some guy, with a helmet. Evidently, there�s treasure somewhere underground,
and with nothing to go on but legends, you decide to go for it. And hey, if I�ve learned
anything from the Goonies, it�s that legends about treasure are always true. So you start
looking for it. In fact, you might say...you�re spelunking.
No pen, no sign...no air, no problem!
One of the cool things about Spelunker was that...it sort of just dropped you into this
massive cave, you know? There�s no sun, no trees...no smiling clouds. And no end to
the game�s levels. In fact, it�s similar to a game like Metroid in that...it�s just
one huge world. It has individual areas, but they�re continuous from one to the next.
So it really creates the sense that...this freaking cave�s enormous.
You know, the lack of arbitrary endpoints contributes to this, but Spelunker does an
outstanding job of creating that underground vibe. It�s dark, it�s musty and aside
from the occasional bat, there�s not a single sign of life. In fact, your greatest challenge
comes from the cave itself. The steam vents, the rocks, the hidden perils...
The bat poop. There�s death by poop, in Spelunker.
So obviously, there�s a lot to like about Spelunker. And there�s a lot I like about
Spelunker. But there�s also Spelunker�s notoriously irritating...Spelunker-ness, I
guess. Which is to say...holy crap, this game kills you just for playing it. So...jump too
far? Too bad, you�re dead. Fall, like, two pixels from a rope? Tough sh*t, hotshot. A
real man would�ve grown some wings. I mean, challenging game design is one thing. But
a challenge from bad game mechanics? That�s another thing entirely.
And to its own detriment, Spelunker has a bit of both.
See, that�s the thing about Spelunker. I mean, it has some great platform design, a
really cool concept...they�re part of what makes Spelunker. Unfortunately, though, the
infuriating mechanics are also part of what makes Spelunker. And those are going to firmly
place you in one of two camps.
You�ll either love it, and say that�s just Spelunker being Spelunker.
Or you�ll say, �Nope. That plays like crap, this absolutely sucks.�
And unlike your little Spelunker guy, both of those arguments have plenty of oxygen.