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D-Did... I'm sorry
did you just say it's Rachel?
Yes.
Um, you-you like Rachel?
Yes. I like Rachel.
Rachel?!
Yeah, okay
( stammering )
Hey, you know... you know who else I like?
You. And-and it doesn't get said enough.
I like you, Ross.
R-R-Rachel Rachel?
Yeah. It's not a big deal.
It's not a big deal?
Oh, I'm sorry. I just...
Um, I... What about all the stuff you-you just said?
I mean, how about, uh, like
you can't stop thinking about her.
Like, how you can't sleep.
I-I'm an actor, you know.
As-As a group we tend to be overdramatic.
But Rachel-who's-carrying- my-baby Rachel?
Look, no, I-I know it's bad and I know it's wrong, okay?
But-But it's not like anything's ever going to happen, you know.
These-These are just feelings.
They-They're going to go away.
You know, I-I got to go.
Aw, come on, Ross.
I don't...
I just... you know
I-I just have one... Rachel?!
( sighs )
( no audio )
( sighs )
Rachel?!
Captioning sponsored by WARNER BROS. TELEVISION, NBC
and THE KELLOGG COMPANY
♪ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke, you're broke ♪
♪ Your love life's D.O.A. ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day, your week ♪
♪ Your month, or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
♪ 'Cause you're there for me, too. ♪
Yeah. Oh, oh!
Oh.
She's growing inside you.
Oh!
Wow, that was a big one.
I think that's the youngest girl ever to reject me.
Oh, hey, you guys.
Oh, hey, there. Hi.
Hey, listen, let me ask you.
Do you believe in soul mates?
Oh, yes, I do.
I do. I believe that there
is one perfect person out there for everyone.
And you know how you find him?
You stop looking for him.
That's why I've stopped looking for Russell Crowe.
He'll find me.
Uh-huh, uh-huh. And you?
No. I mean, I believe that, uh
certain people are more suited for each other
and I believe in falling in love
but soul mates-- I don't think they exist.
Okay, good.
Why?
Well, last night, I met Monica's.
( gasps )
What?
Yeah. I-I had a date with this guy
and I swear to God he is her other half.
Come on, don't be crazy.
You don't think there's somebody out there
better suited for Monica
than me, do you?
Well, what's he like?
Uh-huh.
He has brown hair.
Of course, of course.
A tall guy with hair similar to mine.
Oh, unknowable universe.
He works with food.
Oh, sure. Older?
Obviously. And he's British.
Oh, I was just going to ask!
Yeah?
And he's-he's so centered and mature
Oh...
it's so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Luckily the guy she settled for
can't hear what you're talking about.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Um, and maybe I'm wrong.
I... but, you know what?
I'm going to go out with him again and I'll find out more.
You believe that this guy is destined for somebody else
and you're still going to date him?
Well, he may not be my soul mate but a girl's got to eat.
( knocking )
Hey.
I just talked to Joey and I just...
I wanted to see how you were.
You know what, I still... I can't believe it.
Joey and Rachel? I mean it...
It's like you and me going out, only weirder.
All right, I know you're hurting and-and I want to be supportive
but don't say that again.
Oh, my God, what if-if they get married?
Then he'd be the step-father of my child.
Oh, honey
I don't think that's something you need to worry about.
First of all, he-he's never going to tell her how he feels about her.
And even if he did, you have no idea how she would react.
Sure, 'cause women never like Joey.
You know, I think he's a ***.
But Joey...
he's not even thinking about going after Rachel.
No.
All he's thinking about is how you're taking this.
I mean, listen, it-it's completely freaking him out.
He's talking about moving to Vermont.
Why?
He says he wants to leave the country.
He thinks you hate him.
Hate him? I...
No, I don't hate him.
It's just, it's Rachel, you know?
Honey, I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you.
But I don't want you to lose Joey over it.
Right now he just needs to know that you're still his friend.
Okay. Okay, I'll talk to him.
Okay.
And do it soon.
He just asked me how he could convert his dollars
into Vermont money.
( Phoebe chuckling )
Hey.
Hi.
Um...
Chandler, Monica, this is Don.
Hello.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
( coughs ): Soul mate.
So, what have
you guys been doing?
Well, we just had a terrible lunch at Adriatica.
What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place?
I know. What is this, 1985?
That's exactly what I said.
Phoebe, isn't that strange?
Not really.
What's wrong with sun-dried tomatoes?
On a barbecue chicken pizza?
No?
So, Don, wh-what other
restaurants do you like?
Well, Octovio, 27 and 7.
Oh, there's this great little place, Alessandro's.
Oh, my God, that's my restaurant.
I'm the chef there.
No.
Y-Your food is fantastic.
Wow, I really want to talk to you about your menu.
I'm just going to get some coffees first.
Um, anyone want anything?
Oh, I'd like a latte.
You know what, if you're going to talk about me
I'm going to go with you.
What are you doing?!
Nothing.
I swear to God, I didn't know you guys would be here.
The good news is, you don't even believe in soul mates, so...
I believe in tall, handsome strangers who hit on my wife.
They're just talking.
And you know what, just 'cause I think they're soul mates
doesn't mean anything's going to happen.
Huh?
Yeah?
Yeah, I mean, he's great.
I love him.
Don't worry, we'll find you someone else.
( knocking )
Hey.
Hey.
Look, I understand if you came by to hit me.
I deserve it.
No, I-I don't want to hit you.
Oh, what then? Kick me?
No.
Bite me?
No. No, I don't-I don't want to do anything to you.
I just want to tell you that I'm not mad at you, and...
and that I certainly do not hate you.
I just came here to say that.
Hey, wait, Ross, Ross.
You want-you want to come in for a beer or something?
I don't know.
Yeah, sure.
You, uh, you got any beer?
All-all I got is this, uh, melon stuff
that Rachel left.
Okay.
Hey, look, Ross, you need to understand something, okay.
I, uh...
I am never going to act on this Rachel thing, okay?
I-I wouldn't want to do anything
to jeopardize my friendship with you.
Thank you.
Mmm.
( groans )
( groans )
Anyway, it, uh...
Look, it-it'll just...
take me a while to get over her, that's all.
I'm not even sure how to do that.
I mean, I've never been in love before
so...
( sighs )
You're in love with her?
Well, yeah.
I thought you knew that.
Um, no.
Well, hey, look, if-if it helps
I don't want to feel this way.
Honest.
I just keep thinking
"Aah, I'll get over this, you know."
But... God, it just keeps getting harder, and I...
I don't... I don't know what to do, you know.
I don't... What do I do?
I think you-you need to tell her how you feel.
Okay, that's the green stuff talking.
No, I'm serious.
You... you need to find out where she is
because if she's not where you are
then you can start to move past this.
But what if, uh...
and I'm not saying she will be...
If-if she is where you are, then, uh...
then my feeling weird about it shouldn't stand in the way.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Look, if-if she's going to end up with somebody else
the truth is, she couldn't find a better guy, so...
Hey, thanks.
So when do you think you're going to talk to her?
Oh, my God, I have to tell her.
I haven't even thought about what I would say.
What should I say?
I'm understanding, but let's not get carried away.
Right, right. Sorry, sorry.
( sighs ): What am I going to say?
Oh!
Yeah, tell me about it.
So, I've been slowly phasing out the wine importing
and focusing more on the, um, cheese side of things.
Cheese, you say?
That's some pretty smelly work, huh, Don?
Excuse me?
Cheese, it's... smelly.
You must smell a lot of the time, too.
Uh, not really.
But when it comes to cheese, I'm one of those people
who thinks the smellier, the better.
Me, too.
Yeah, Chandler can't stand it.
He won't even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
And you're still married to him?
( laughing )
( feigns laughter )
You know what I'd love to do?
Hmm?
I would like to go to France
and eat nothing but bread and cheese.
Hmm!
No, not even bread. Just cheese.
Hmm.
No, I want the bread, yeah.
And pastries.
Mmm...
And paté.
Oh, I'm really not high.
It's just that I used to be fat.
Oh! Well, if ever you're in the Loire Valley, let me know.
I've got a great little villa you could stay at.
Is it made of cheese?
No.
But God, a house made of cheese!
Wouldn't that be incredible?
I'd move in tomorrow.
Oh, come on!
Are you listening to this?
I'm so sorry.
What do I do?
I don't know.
They both want to live in a house of cheese.
I don't know how you fight that.
Okay, okay. I can do this.
I can tell her how I feel.
Just, uh...
Okay, stand up straight.
Take a couple deep breaths.
( exhaling )
Look confident.
Oh!
Geez!
Hey.
What's up?
I, uh...
I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something.
Okay. What's up?
Here? In the hall?
What are we, animals?
Oh, well, honey, I'm late for a meeting
so could you just make it quick?
Yeah, okay, um, I just came by to tell you that...
I... want to have dinner with you tonight.
That's all.
Sure. Sounds great.
Just leave me a message
and tell me where to meet you, okay?
Okay... Great.
( whispers ): Okay.
Okay. That's good. Yeah.
Okay, that gives you a couple of hours
to prepare what you're going to say.
Good, yeah.
Oh!
Don't you people ever knock?
I'd like to have Don and Phoebe over.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Sure. Why don't you set it up?
I'll just be over here, browsing through the personals.
Are you okay?
You've been acting weird all afternoon.
Yeah, fine, fine.
Not perfect!
But good enough.
Geez, what is with you?
I'm sorry.
Did you say "cheese"?
All right, what's going on?
Phoebe thinks that you and Don are soul mates.
And I don't believe in that kind of stuff
but then you two totally get along.
So look, I won't stand in your way
if you want to run off with Don
and live in a house of cheese.
Chandler, you don't believe in soul mates?
No, but I'm sure "to-mah-toes" does.
I don't believe in soul mates, either.
You don't?
No.
I don't think that you and I
were destined to end up together.
I think that we fell in love
and we work hard at our relationship.
Some days, we work really hard.
So, you don't want to live with Don in a cheese house?
No, I've had second thoughts about that.
Do you realize how hard that would be to clean?
I love you.
I know.
You know what?
I'm going to take you out to dinner tonight.
I found this place that makes the greatest
mozzarella sticks and jalapeno poppers.
No? Really? They taste so good.
I mean, I know Chandler was kidding
but it happens every time he touches my stomach.
I mean, I'm really worried
the baby's not going to like him.
Are you okay?
Well, yeah, sure.
Uh...
Look, the, uh, the reason...
Is it hot in here?
No, not for me.
But why don't you take off your sweater?
I would, but this is a nice place
and my T-shirt has a picture
of Calvin doing Hobbes.
Oh, my God!
Really?
Can I see it?
Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Huh!
Wow, I wouldn't think Hobbes would like that so much.
Uh...
How long have we known each other?
Um... seven, eight...
eight years.
Wow.
Uh-huh. Long time.
Yeah.
But over the past few weeks...
I...
Okay!
( sighs ): Sorry about the wait
but it is megajammed in here.
We have a couple specials tonight.
Actually, uh, could you give us a second?
Sure. Sure.
Second's up.
Not... that kind of table.
( Rachel clears her throat )
So, you were saying?
I'm not quite sure.
Okay, well, you had asked me how long we knew each other
and I said eight years.
And then the, um, waiter came over
and cut his tip in half.
And, um, now here we are.
Yeah.
Here we are.
Uh...
I...
I think I'm falling in love with you.
What?
I'm falling in love with you.
Who you talking to?
Oh, you're kidding.
Oh, it's a joke.
( silverware clanging )
Oh, that's funny. It's funny.
I don't get it.
Oh.
Okay.
Um...
Uh, wow.
Are you, um...?
How did, um...?
When?
Does it really matter?
Wow, wow, wow.
Wow, it is hot in here.
Okay, look, look, Rach, I know this is a lot, okay?
You don't have to say anything.
You-you, uh...
You take as much time as you need.
Okay, you got to say something.
Joey, Joey...
I love you so much.
But I...
But...
Joey?
Yeah, right.
Hey, that's, um...
That's okay. That's fine.
That's, um...
pretty much what I was expecting, you know.
So, uh, it's no big deal, all right?
I think I'm going to go.
Yeah.
No, Joey, please, don't...
Please don't leave like this. Now, come on.
( sobbing ): You cannot do this to a pregnant woman.
Don't start doing that.
You can't do that, Rach
( sobbing ): 'cause then you're going to make me do...
And... oh, there we go!
Can I...?
Oh...
Aw, Joey, honey
I don't want... I don't want to lose...
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You can't, okay?
Ever.
I'm so sorry.
No, no, no, Rach.
Please, don't be sorry.
Okay?
Don't be sorry.
( sniffles )
( sighs )
( whispers ): It's all right.
You know what? I was only kidding.
( giggles )
Yeah, that was a real good one.
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
Is this your table?
Yeah.
God, you're going to be here
I know.
I haven't even read them the specials yet.
What's the matter with them?
( sighing ): I don't know.
I think maybe one of them is dying.
Man...
Hmm, I kind of hope it's the girl.
The guy is really cute.