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PREVIOUSLY ON "UGLY BETTY"...
THIS IS ANNE FRAZIER FROM MERCER PARK REGIONAL H.M.O.
I'M JUST CALLING TO CONFIRM YOUR 2:00 APPOINTMENT.
IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU HAD SOME PRETTY LEGITIMATE CLAIM.
THAT'S A MISTAKE.
THE FIRST TIME WE KISSED, YOU SAID, "CAREFUL"--
"CAREFUL, WE'RE GONNA CAUSE A SPARK."
(Bradford) I COULDN'T. THAT MUSIC BOX IS PERSONAL.
BUT IT CONNECTS YOU TO FEY. IT COULD PROVIDE A MOTIVE.
(Bradford) NO ONE BUT MY WIFE.
THIS WOMAN IS TRYING TO CONNECT YOUR FATHER TO FEY SOMMERS.
SHE'S TRYING TO DO MORE THAN THAT, BETTY.
SHE'S TRYING TO CONNECT MY DAD TO FEY'S DEATH.
(singsong voice) HOLA! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
(both laughing)
(Wilhelmina) MARC!
THAT IS THE ABSOLUTE CRUELEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.
SOMEONE'S GETTING A RAISE.
(Ignacio in distance) BETTY, COME HERE!
DAD!
IN THE KITCHEN. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR BREAKFAST FOREVER.
YEAH, WELL, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU FIRST.
IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT.
DAD.
DAD!
AAH!
(ghoulish voice) I TOLD YOU, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER.
GOOD ONE.
DAD, I JUST TALKED TO THE H.M.O. LADY, AND THERE'S NO MISTAKE.
WHEN THEY PULLED UP YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER,
YEAH? WELL, I STILL LOOK BETTER THAN THIS GUY.
JUSTIN, YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!
PAPI, I ONLY WORK A HALF A DAY, AND THEN I'LL BE ABLE
DON'T FORGET THE CANDY,
AND MAKE SURE YOU GET THE GOOD STUFF THIS YEAR.
I DON'T WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE "RAISIN HOUSE" AGAIN.
YOU'RE JUST ASKING TO GET EGGED.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN! GUESS WHO I AM.
WHY, YOU'RE A PROUD MEMBER OF AMERICA'S NAVY, SIR.
NO. I'M GENE KELLY FROM "ON THE TOWN."
WELL, LET'S JUST TELL EVERYBODY AT SCHOOL YOU'RE A SAILOR, OKAY?
FINE, BUT I'M A SAILOR THAT CAN SING AND TAP.
♪ NEW YORK, NEW YORK, A HELL OF A TOWN ♪
♪ THE BRONX IS UP, AND THE BATTERY'S DOWN ♪
♪ NEW YORK, NEW YORK ♪
♪ YOU'RE A HELL OF A TOWN ♪
AND DANCE BREAK.
BETTER HOPE HE CAN SING AND TAP AND THROW A PUNCH.
YEAH, WE'RE GONNA PASS OUT CANDY,
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GO TO A MIDNIGHT SHOWING OF "SAW."
OH, THAT'S SWEET. SEE? YOU DID THE RIGHT THING TAKING HIM BACK.
YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO WATCH THAT MOVIE ALONE.
WE'RE JUST DATING. SO LISTEN, JUST NOW
WHAT MISTAKE?
THERE'S THIS ONE MIX-UP WITH DAD'S SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.
THEY SAY IT BELONGS TO A DEAD GUY.
THAT'S WHY THEY'RE NOT, YOU KNOW,
WHAT? DAD.
(screaming)
HELP... ME.
(groaning)
PLEASE!
ARE YOU FINISHED?
COME ON. THAT WAS GOOD STUFF.
I TRIED IT ON THE PAPERBOY THIS MORNING. HE PEED HIMSELF.
ME, TOO. LOOK, DAD, I'M SERIOUS.
YOU NEED TO GO DOWN THERE AND SHOW THEM YOU'RE ALIVE.
THEY THINK I'M CRAZY.
MARC, I NEED YOU TO GO DOWN TO THE CLOSET
AND TELL THAT DRUNKEN IRISHWOMAN
SHE'S SCOTTISH, ACTUALLY.
OF COURSE NOT. YOU MAY WANT TO RETURN SOME OF THESE.
CALVIN NEEDS TO RESCHEDULE A LUNCH, KARL WANTS TO KNOW
IF YOU'RE GONNA BE IN ST. MORITZ FOR THE HOLIDAY,
AND, UM... NICO'S CALLED TWICE.
DON'T SPOIL MY MORNING YET. I'M IN TOO GOOD A MOOD.
SO YOUR DATE LAST NIGHT WENT WELL?
OH, YES. JASON DIPPED HIS TOE INTO LAKE WILHELMINA,
AND LET'S JUST SAY, THE WATER WAS VERY WARM.
I'M NOT REALLY SURE I WANNA KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
IT'S REFRESHING TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO...
KEEP... UP.
A SECOND DATE? OH, MY.
WELL, HOW COULD I RESIST? WE JUST LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER.
APPARENTLY, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SO.
WELL, UNLESS THAT WAS HER SECRET LOVE CHILD,
SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE CALLED THE COPS LAST NIGHT,
BECAUSE "MODE" MAGAZINE'S WILHELMINA SLATER
IS MOST DEFINITELY ROBBING THE CRADLE.
BUT SOMEONE REALLY SHOULD TELL THAT WOMAN
THAT WEARING A YOUNG MAN ON YOUR ARM
DAMN IT.
CAN'T WE JUST GIVE HER A LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
AND PUT HER OUT OF OUR MISERY?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETURN SOME OF THOSE CALLS?
I'D LIKE YOU TO CALL JASON. TELL HIM TONIGHT IS OFF.
BUT... YOU LIKE HIM.
TOO BAD. HE'S MAKING ME LOOK LIKE MISS JANE PITTMAN.
FLIP THROUGH MY ROLODEX.
FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO ESCORT ME TONIGHT.
AND TAKE THAT RIDICULOUS COSTUME OFF.
I CAN BARELY STAND LOOKING AT THE REAL ONE.
(Maxine Nightingale's
"Right Back Where We Started From" playing)
(gasps)
WALTER, YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
FOR YOU. BIGGER THAN LAST YEAR'S.
SEE? I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE.
AND THERE'S A, UH, LITTLE SURPRISE ON THE BOTTOM,
BUT YOU HAVE TO EAT YOUR WAY TO IT.
NO CHEATING.
OKAY. THANK YOU.
LOOK, I'M GONNA SEE YOU TONIGHT. I'M LATE FOR WORK. I GOTTA GO.
OKAY. I'M GONNA MISS YOU.
OKAY.
WALTER.
YOU DIDN'T SAY YOU'LL MISS ME.
I MISS YOU. I WILL.
♪ WE GOT TO GET RIGHT BACK TO WHERE WE STARTED FROM ♪
TA-DA!
(gasps) LET ME GUESS, WHEN YOU GOT ON THE ELEVATOR DOWNSTAIRS,
YOU WERE A CATERPILLAR.
WHERE ARE YOUR COSTUMES? WHAT ABOUT THE E-MAIL
YOU SENT ME ABOUT THE "MODE" COSTUME CONTEST?
WHICH... WAS... OBVIOUSLY SENT ONLY TO ME.
RIGHT.
WELL, THEN. I GUESS THIS MEANS I WIN.
UH... OKAY. UH, I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU.
GREAT. FIRE AWAY.
I NEED YOU TO FIND MY WATCH.
FOUND IT.
MY OTHER WATCH.
IT'S A SIMON KOUVEAUX. IT WAS A GIFT. I'M PRETTY SURE
I LEFT IT AT SOME WOMAN'S APARTMENT LAST WEEK.
ARE YOU GONNA SEE THE WOMAN WHO GAVE IT TO YOU?
NO. I'M SEEING SIMON KOUVEAUX. HE'S COHOSTING.
HE GETS VERY *** WHEN YOU'RE NOT WEARING HIS LINE.
OKAY. WELL, YOU JUST TELL ME WHO THIS WOMAN IS, AND I'LL ASK HER.
RIGHT. EXCEPT I DON'T EXACTLY REMEMBER WHO IT WAS.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER WHO YOU SLEPT WITH?
YES, I REMEMBER WHO I SLEPT WITH,
AND DON'T GIVE ME THE LOOK.
THAT LOOK-- THE ALL-JUDGING BUTTERFLY.
AND NOT ONLY DO I REMEMBER WHO I SLEPT WITH,
I EVEN HAVE SOME OF THEIR NUMBERS.
ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE TO MATCH UP THE NAMES
WITH THE NIGHTS OF THE WEEK. I'M KINDA FUZZY ON THAT PART.
I HAD A CRAZY WEEK, OKAY?
DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER WHAT YOU HAD FOR--FOR LUNCH ON TUESDAY?
SPINACH PIE. THE CAFETERIA WAS CELEBRATING GREEK DAY.
WHY IS THIS SUCH A PROBLEM FOR YOU?
I'M AN ADULT, OKAY? THESE WOMEN ARE ADULTS.
BELIEVE ME, I CHECKED. NO ONE'S GETTING HURT.
I CAN SLEEP WITH A DIFFERENT WOMAN EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK
YOU KNOW, THE ROMANS HAD A 9-DAY WEEK.
JUST FIND THE WATCH.
IF YOU HAVE TO RUN OUT, HAVE AMANDA COVER THE PHONES.
OH. YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.
CANCEL IT. I'M GONNA BE BACK IN THE AFTERNOON.
(sighs)
I THOUGHT YOU WERE HANDLING THIS.
WELL, WHO GAVE MY SON THE MUSIC BOX?
WHO'S FILLING HIS HEAD WITH STORIES ABOUT ME AND FEY?
YOU TELL ME. WHO KNEW ABOUT YOU TWO?
NOT DANIEL. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
I SPENT A LIFETIME TRYING TO PROTECT HIM FROM KNOWING,
AND NOW THIS... SOMEONE IS RUINING IT.
THIS IS MY FAMILY. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
UNDERSTOOD.
ANYWAY, LOOK, IF YOU'VE GOT IT,
PLEASE CALL ME BACK AS SOON AS YOU CAN. THANKS.
IS THIS WHY YOU CALLED ME OVER HERE--
TO WATCH YOUR PHONE SKILLS? 'CAUSE THEY ARE REALLY GREAT.
NO. I NEED YOU TO HELP ME COVER THE PHONES.
DANIEL LEFT HIS WATCH IN SOME WOMAN'S APARTMENT AND--
(scoffs) PLEASE. LIKE I CARE? WE'RE HARDLY EXCLUSIVE.
IT'S NOT LIKE I SPEND MY EVENINGS
THUMBING THROUGH "MODERN BRIDE."
WELL, HE DOESN'T SEEM TO REMEMBER
EXACTLY WHEN IT HAPPENED,
PRICELESS.
AND I NEED YOU TO HELP ME FIND ADDRESSES
FOR MISS TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY.
NYMPHALIS MILBERT?
OH, NYMPHALIS MILBERTI.
UH, I DON'T--I DON'T KNOW.
UH, THE PATTERN JUST SAID "BUTTERFLY."
WELL, JUST SOMETHING I KNOW.
ONE OF SEVERAL THINGS, ACTUALLY.
CIRCUMFERENCE OF THE EARTH? KNOW IT.
AND THIS CONCLUDES ANOTHER EPISODE OF "TRUE, BUT DULL."
WELL, I SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK DOWN TO ACCOUNTING.
WE PAID A GUY 50 BUCKS TO SEE HOW MUCH HONEY HE CAN DRINK
BEFORE HE MAKES HIMSELF SICK. (chuckles)
WELL, YOU SHOULD COME DOWN LATER IF--IF YOU CAN.
OH, UM, O-OKAY. YEAH, MAYBE, UH, IF I HAVE THE TIME.
24,901 MILES.
THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF THE EARTH-- IT'S JUST SOMETHING I KNOW.
OH, MY GOD.
WERE YOU JUST FLIRTING WITH HENRY FROM ACCOUNTING?
I SHOULD GET, LIKE, WORKMAN'S COMP OR SOMETHING.
I WAS NOT FLIRTING. WHY, WAS HE?
WHAT IS THIS?
OH. WALTER PUTS A SURPRISE IN THERE FOR ME EVERY YEAR.
LAST YEAR IT WAS AN ENGRAVED CELL PHONE HOLSTER.
MM.
WHAT'S THE KEY FOR?
IT GOES WITH THE NOTE.
HE WANTS ME TO MOVE IN WITH HIM.
♪♪♪
YEAH, WELL, I CAN SEE WHY YOU'RE NERVOUS.
I MEAN, YOU TWO HAVE ONLY JUST STARTED DATING AGAIN.
AND LET'S FACE IT,
HE IS THE BOY WHO DUMPED YOU FOR THE NEIGHBORHOOD HOOCHIE.
YEAH, BUT HE'S ALSO DONE EVERYTHING SHORT
OF SKYWRITING "FORGIVE ME" TO WIN ME BACK.
IN FOUR YEARS, HE'S NEVER ONCE FORGOTTEN MY BIRTHDAY,
AND IF I JUST SNIFFLE, HE'S AT MY DOOR WITH CHICKEN SOUP.
HE'S ALSO THE ONLY GUY I'VE EVER...
OH, YEAH.
I DON'T WANT TO SAY NO NOW AND RISK LOSING HIM FOREVER.
SORRY, BUT THAT'S A POOR, POOR REASON TO SAY YES.
HE'S THE ONLY BOY YOU'VE EVER KNOWN.
HE MIGHT TURN OUT TO BE THE FIRST PANCAKE.
THE PRACTICE ONE. THE ONE YOU TOSS AWAY.
WELL, I'M ONLY SAYING,
YOU'VE ONLY JUST COME OUT OF YOUR COCOON, HAVEN'T YOU?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SPREAD YOUR WINGS A WEE BIT?
YOU KNOW, SEE WHAT'S OUT THERE BEFORE YOU SETTLE BACK IN.
SEE WHO'S OUT THERE.
ANYWAY, I HAVE TO GO FIND DANIEL'S WATCH,
SO I'M GONNA MOVE NOW. IF I THROW UP, I'M SORRY.
REMEMBER, BETTY, BUTTERFLIES DON'T MATE FOR LIFE.
YOU DON'T BE AFRAID TO GET YOURSELF OUT THERE.
YOU KNOW, TEST A FEW MORE FLOWERS. FLIT.
FLIT IS WHAT BUTTERFLIES DO.
OH.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE CURSING AT ME IN SCOTTISH.
UH, I DON'T KEEP CANDY IN THE HOUSE,
OH, NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT TRICK-OR-TREATING.
I WORK FOR DANIEL MEADE. I LEFT YOU A COUPLE OF MESSAGES.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GOT THEM--
YEAH, I GOT THE MESSAGES.
ACTUALLY, I CALLED HIM A FEW TIMES MYSELF LAST WEEK.
ANY IDEA WHY HE DIDN'T CALL ME BACK?
NO, UH, BUT I'D BE HAPPY TO INVESTIGATE.
SO, WHAT, YOU DO HIS DIRTY WORK FOR HIM?
WHAT DOES HE THINK I AM? SOME KIND OF SCRATCHING POST?
SOME KIND OF CALL GIRL? HE SENDS HIS SECRETARY TO BLOW ME OFF?
I'M REALLY MORE OF AN ASSISTANT.
YOU WONDER IF DANIEL LEFT SOMETHING HERE?
WELL, YEAH, HE LEFT SOMETHING HERE--
THE LAST CHANCE FOR HAPPINESS HE'LL EVER HAVE.
AND THESE.
HELP YOU?
UH, YEAH, I'M JUST, UH, HERE TO SEE ONE OF YOUR, UM...
UH, YOUR...
ARE YOU CHECKING IN?
NO, NO, NO, NO. GOD, NO.
(cell phone ringing)
UH, I'M A RELATIVE OF-- COULD YOU EXCUSE ME?
HEY. DID YOU FIND THE WATCH?
I'M NARROWING IT DOWN. HEY, LISTEN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SENDING SOMETHING LIKE FLOWERS
(beep)
WAIT. I'M GETTING BEEPED.
IT COULD BE TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY.
HEY. YOU FINISHED YOUR CANDY YET?
WALTER, UM, I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.
OKAY. JUST TELL ME WHAT LAYER YOU'RE ON.
HOW CLOSE ARE YOU TO THE BOTTOM OF YOUR BUCKET?
I'M NOT. LOOK, THIS IS--IT'S JUST, IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME.
CAN I CALL YOU BACK? DANIEL.
SO WHY FLOWERS? IS SOMEONE UPSET?
WELL, MISS FRIDAY'S FACE DID GET ALL RED AND SWEATY,
OKAY, FINE. FLOWERS.
JUST TELL AMANDA TO SEND A DOZEN ROSES TO EACH,
AND I'LL CHECK BACK IN LATER. ALL RIGHT. BYE.
UM, CLAIRE MEADE, PLEASE.
AND WHO SHALL I SAY IS VISITING?
HER SON.
POSSIBLE ESCORTS.
OLD.
(scoffs) WAY TOO OLD.
MARC, I THINK THIS ONE'S FACE IS ON OUR MONEY.
YOU SAID YOU WANTED ONE THAT MADE YOU LOOK YOUNG...
GER.
HOW ABOUT FINDING ME SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LEAK?
I'M ALWAYS NICE.
YOU'RE NEVER NICE.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. I WAS THINKING ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE.
AND THIS IS WHERE WE COME
TO LOSE OURSELVES IN THE CLASSICS.
IT'S, UH, A NICE COLLECTION.
IT IS. NOTHING LIKE MAKING PEOPLE IN DETOX
READ STORIES COOKED UP BY A BUNCH OF DRUNKS.
DID YOUR FATHER TELL YOU THEY CONFISCATED MY PERFUME?
I GUESS THEY ARE WORRIED YOU MIGHT--
WHAT? DRINK IT?
OH, COME ON, DANIEL.
BAD ENOUGH I CAN'T BOARD FIRST CLASS
WITH MY LIQUID EYELINER.
NOW I HAVE TO WALK AROUND SMELLING LIKE...
PEOPLE.
SO WHY ARE YOU HERE?
JUST TO TALK.
WELL, I'VE BEEN RIGHT HERE, ANY TIME YOU WANTED TO COME.
I'VE JUST BEEN VERY BUSY THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.
ALMOST FOUR.
THEY LIKE TO TELL YOU JUST HOW MANY DAYS YOU'VE BEEN IN
SO IT PASSES MORE SLOWLY.
TODAY IS SPONSORED BY THE NUMBER 26.
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT FEY SOMMERS.
THEN I'M GOING TO NEED A LUNCH SOMEPLACE
WHERE THEY'RE NOT SERVING PUDDING CUPS.
ALL RIGHT. I'LL EXPLAIN IT ONE MORE TIME.
UM, HE MISPLACED HIS WATCH, AND HE THINKS HE MAY HAVE
LEFT IT AT YOUR APARTMENT ON... THURSDAY NIGHT.
NO, AND WHY DIDN'T HE JUST COME HERE HIMSELF?
BECAUSE... YOU SEE, DANIEL IS...
WELL, HE'S OUT OF THE OFFICE MOST OF THE DAY.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL.
I MEAN, I LET HIM STAY OVER. I LET HIM USE MY TOOTHBRUSH.
I EVEN GAVE HIM THE GOOD PILLOW.
WHY WOULD HE SAY ALL THOSE THINGS TO ME AND NOT CALL ME?
IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE...
OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE TRYING TO SABOTAGE US.
ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM?
OKAY, UM, LOOK. I'M JUST GOING TO WRITE YOU DOWN AS A "NO."
(material rips)
EW. I GIVE UP. HOW OLD IS OLD TO YOU?
EW. OLDER THAN MY DAD.
HEY, WHAT'S HE DOING TONIGHT?
MM. DRINKING, EMBEZZLING, APOLOGIZING.
(telephone rings)
"MODE" MAGAZINE. HOW MAY I DIRECT YOUR CALL?
(gasps) AW, SOMEONE'S TURNING BACK INTO A CATERPILLAR.
DO YOU HAVE THOSE TWO ADDRESSES I ASKED YOU TO GET?
STILL WORKING ON IT.
CAN I BORROW YOUR STAPLER, PLEASE?
(chuckles)
CAN I HELP?
HUH? OH, NO. I'M--I'M GOOD. THANKS.
UM, IF YOU WERE GOOD,
YOU COULD LEAVE HERE AND JOIN CIRQUE DU SOLEIL.
(cell phone rings)
(ring)
(ring)
THAT SHOULD DO IT.
NOW I WANT YOU TO TRY TO AVOID CROWDED SUBWAY CARS.
OH, AND BLUE JAYS. NATURAL PREDATORS.
RIGHT. OKAY. THANKS.
SO ANYWAY, UH, YOU THINK MAYBE
YOU'D LIKE TO GO GET SOME LUNCH LATER?
WHAT? NO.
OH. YEAH. OKAY.
IT'S COOL.
NO, YES! I MEANT YES.
YES?
IF THAT'S STILL OKAY.
YEAH, WELL, I THINK--I THINK I MAY STILL HAVE AN OPENING.
12:30?
YEAH. 12:30.
SO WHAT ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT?
ISN'T DANIEL SENDING HER FLOWERS?
WHAT? OH, UH, NO.
HE COULDN'T REMEMBER WHO MONDAY WAS.
OW. OW.
SORRY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK THERE?
NO, THE ZIPPER'S NOT THE PROBLEM.
THE LACK OF A PULLEY AND SEVERAL BURLY MEN IS THE PROBLEM.
NOTHING. IT'S THE BEER TALKING.
MAYBE YOU BOUGHT THE WRONG SIZE!
I GOT HER SIZE 2.
SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A 2, BUT CLEARLY, SOMEONE HAS BEEN
ENJOYING FAR TOO MANY COMPLIMENTARY CHEESE STRAWS.
I UNDERSTOOD THAT. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, CARLOTTA?
ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT IT MIGHT BE A SLIGHT POSSIBILITY
THAT SHE MIGHT--MIGHT HAVE JUST MAYBE GAINED...
GAINED WHAT?
WHAT? NOTHING. JUST MAYBE A LITTLE...
WEE BIT OF... WEIGHT?
(screams)
SO HOW ARE YOU? ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?
NOT ANY ONE PERSON. YOU KNOW, A FEW.
OUR COMPLIMENTS, MRS. MEADE.
GOOD TO SEE YOU. IT'S BEEN FAR TOO LONG.
YES, IT HAS.
DON'T EVEN START.
I'M GOING TO HAVE THE VEAL MARSALA, YOU KNOW.
AND THE ALCOHOL BURNS OFF.
THEN GIVE ME BACK THE GLASS
AND SET FIRE TO ME WHEN I'M DONE.
SO ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT CHRISTMAS?
WHAT CHRISTMAS?
THAT CHRISTMAS. I WAS 1.
DAD GAVE YOU A MUSIC BOX HE BROUGHT BACK FROM ZURICH.
ONE MINUTE YOU'RE SMILING,
THE NEXT YOU'RE USING A CRèME BRûLéE TORCH
TO SET FIRE TO A THOUSAND COPIES OF "MODE."
NO? IT WAS THE CHRISTMAS
YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT DAD'S AFFAIR WITH FEY.
OH, YES. THAT DOES JINGLE A BELL.
BETTY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT?
UM, I THINK I NEED ANOTHER MINUTE?
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE?
BECAUSE THE CATERPILLAR ROLL IS AWESOME. NO OFFENSE.
(chuckles)
UM, NUMBER FOUR LOOKS LIKE AN AUTOPSY PHOTO?
I'M SORRY. SORRY. TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE.
IS THIS THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE HAD SUSHI?
NO. GOD, NO. YES.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. PLEASE, PLEASE.
IT'S GOOD FOR ME TO TRY NEW THINGS, YOU KNOW?
SPREAD MY WINGS.
(gasps) OH, MY GOSH. I'M SO SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
ALL EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY,
THIS IS NOT MY FIRST TIME IN PUBLIC.
IT IS MINE.
FOR PAROLEES,
THESE ANKLE BRACELETS ARE THE BEST THING EVER.
IT'S SO STUPID, YOU KNOW.
I COME INTO MANHATTAN EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR WORK,
AND IT'S TIMES LIKE THESE WHERE I FEEL LIKE
THE E-TRAIN DROPPED ME OFF ON MARS OR SOMETHING.
WHERE I COME FROM, PEOPLE LIKE THEIR FISH COOKED,
AND THEY DRESS UP FOR HALLOWEEN.
SECRET IDENTITY.
AY, SOMETHING IS BURNING. WHAT IS THAT?
(imitates Bela Lugosi) IT'S BLOOD--MY DINNER.
(laughs evilly)
OKAY, YOU'RE PUSHING IT.
KIDS COME HERE FOR CANDY, NOT TRAUMA.
YOU CAN'T HAVE A HAUNTED HOUSE WITHOUT SPILLING SOME BLOOD.
YOU KNOW, WHEN BETTY WAS A LITTLE GIRL, SHE--
OKAY, PAPI, BETTY IS NOT A LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE.
NEITHER AM I.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHY DOES THE H.M.O. SAY YOU'RE DEAD?
WHY DO THEY SAY THAT'S NOT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER?
DID YOU COME HOME TO HELP ME OR TO ASK ME QUESTIONS?
BECAUSE IF YOU CAME TO HELP ME,
HANG THIS ON THE PORCH.
HI THERE. I'M CALLING FROM THE SUTTON PLACE MEDICAL GROUP.
ONE OF OUR PATIENTS, DANIEL MEADE, JUST LEFT HERE,
AND THOUGHT WE SHOULD GIVE YOU A CALL.
THE GOOD THING ABOUT SCABIES
IS IF YOU TREAT THE ITCHING RIGHT AWAY,
THERE'S LITTLE CHANCE OF THEM BECOMING OPEN SORES.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO CALL YOUR DOCTOR. OKAY. BYE-BYE.
HI. I'M LOOKING FOR BETTY SUAREZ.
SHE'S OUT TO LUNCH.
WHAT?
DO YOU KNOW WHEN SHE'LL BE BACK?
SHE'S AT THE SUSHI BAR ACROSS THE STREET WITH WHAT'S-HIS-FACE.
GO ASK HER YOURSELF. HI THERE. I'M CALLING
FROM THE MEDICAL GROUP AT SUTTON PLACE.
ONE OF OUR PATIENTS, DANIEL MEADE,
THOUGHT WE SHOULD GIVE YOU A CALL.
YOU CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT IT WAS LIKE SEEING THAT WOMAN
HOLDING MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT IN THAT MAGAZINE.
DO YOU KNOW THAT SHE ACTUALLY CALLED THE HOUSE SEVERAL TIMES
AND PLAYED THE MUSIC FROM THAT BOX ON THE PHONE?
YOU MADE HIM END IT THEN, I ASSUME?
OF COURSE, AND I THOUGHT HE HAD, DANIEL, I REALLY DID.
SO WHEN DID HE?
WELL, LET'S SEE. IT'S BEEN-- I CAME HERE ALMOST A MONTH AGO,
SO WHAT I WANT TO SAY IS... SIX WEEKS.
WHAT? DAD WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH FEY FOR 20 YEARS,
AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW?
WELL, DANIEL, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED,
BUT I DRINK QUITE A LOT.
I-I JUST THOUGHT YOU TOOK AFTER GRANDPA JACK.
WELL, THAT CERTAINLY DIDN'T HELP ANY.
AND THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS ONE CAN INHERIT FROM A FATHER--
SUCH AS?
THE PHILANDERING.
YOU AND ALL YOUR WOMEN. I SEE HIM IN YOU.
WHAT MADE HIM FINALLY END IT?
DOES THAT REALLY MATTER NOW?
IT MIGHT.
THEN GIVE ME A DRINK.
MOM.
A SIP, THAT'S ALL.
THEN I TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO KNOW.
A SIP.
I MADE HIM CHOOSE.
SHE WASN'T GOING ANYWHERE ON HER OWN.
SO SHE AND I WENT OVER TO HIS OFFICE,
AND WE STOOD THERE
IN FRONT OF THAT BIG, OVERCOMPENSATING DESK OF HIS,
WHO'D HE CHOOSE?
WELL, ONE OF US IS HERE, AND ONE OF US IS DEAD.
SO YOU FIGURE IT OUT.
SO I NOTICED THAT YOU'VE BEEN ON OUR FLOOR QUITE A BIT TODAY.
HAVE I? HMM.
DON'T THINK IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
NO, I JUST LIKE TO MAKE THE ROUNDS, YOU KNOW.
RIGHT.
HERE, THIS IS YOUR PIECE.
NOW CLOSE YOUR EYES, BUT DON'T PEEK.
THIS IS HOW TOM HANKS SURVIVED IN "CAST AWAY."
I DON'T THINK SO.
(muffled) WALTER.
WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WHO IS THIS GUY?
THIS IS, UM, THIS IS HENRY. HE WORKS ON THE THIRD FLOOR.
I GOT BUSY.
MAYBE I SHOULD GET THE CHECK.
BUSY WITH WHAT? A DATE? I ASK YOU TO MOVE IN WITH ME,
AND YOU TURN AROUND, AND YOU CHEAT ON ME?
WALTER, STOP IT. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME.
I'LL PAY THE CASHIER.
NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU--YOU STAY. I'LL GO.
I EMBARRASS HER.
TIGHTEN THE WRAP, WILL YOU?
I THINK I JUST FELT ANOTHER POUND DRIP OFF.
OH, MY GOD. IT'S SWELTERING.
CLOSE THE DOOR.
AND CRANK UP THE THERMOSTAT ALL THE WAY.
YOU KNOW, PAPER BURNS AT 451 DEGREES.
GOOD. YOU CAN BECOME A SCIENCE TEACHER AFTER I FIRE YOU.
NOW CRANK IT!
I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS,
BUT... NICO CALLED AGAIN.
OF COURSE I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
I HAVE SIX HOURS TO BECOME TEN YEARS YOUNGER
AND 5 POUNDS THINNER.
NICO IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO NOT NEED TODAY. WHAT IS THAT?
TAKE IT AWAY.
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON ANYWAY?
GET OUT!
(elevator bell dings)
OH, MAYBE IT'S NOT AS BAD AS YOU'RE MAKING IT SOUND.
OH, NO. IT'S--IT'S WORSE THAN I'M MAKING IT SOUND.
I'M DOWNPLAYING IT SO I DON'T COMPLETELY FREAK OUT
THAT I NOT ONLY HUMILIATED MYSELF IN FRONT OF HENRY,
BUT I PROBABLY LOST WALTER FOREVER.
I AM SO SORRY, BETTY.
I GUESS IF IT--IT WAS-- IT WAS ME. I PUSHED YOU INTO IT.
IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S NOT YOU. I DID IT.
WHEN I'M DONE WITH WORK, I'M GONNA FIND WALTER,
WHAT, AND SAY YOU'RE GONNA MOVE IN WITH HIM?
MAYBE, YEAH. SOME PEOPLE LIKE DANIEL--
THEY CAN DATE TONS OF PEOPLE AT ONCE.
I TRIED TWO. NO, IF THERE'S ONE THING I LEARNED TODAY,
IT IS THAT I AM NOT A FLITTER...
AND THAT MY BOSS WEARS BOXERS.
SILK BOXERS.
SO I'VE HEARD.
(elevator bell dings)
(elevator doors open)
THERE YOU ARE. WHERE YOU BEEN?
I RAN OUT FOR A SIZE 4.
AND IF THIS VALENTINO DOESN'T FIT HER, DO YOU KNOW WHAT?
(whispers) SHE CAN'T KNOW.
SHE WON'T KNOW, BECAUSE I PLAN ON
(elevator bell dings)
OH, AND, BETTY, LISTEN. GOOD LUCK WITH THE... YOU KNOW,
(elevator bell dings)
WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?
I HAD THE VEAL. THE ALCOHOL BURNS OFF.
MOM, PLEASE.
LISTEN TO ME. YOU HAVE TO GO, I KNOW, BUT LISTEN.
I KNOW, OF DATING TOO MANY WOMEN. I GOT IT.
OF YOUR FATHER. I PUSHED HIM, AND HE STUCK ME HERE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'D DO TO YOU.
MOM, DO YOU THINK DAD IS CAPABLE OF ***?
I THINK YOUR FATHER IS CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.
HEY, AMANDA, IF DANIEL EVER CALLS, WILL YOU TELL HIM
THAT I'VE GONE OUT AGAIN TO TRY AND GET HIS WATCH?
WHO ARE THOSE FOR?
OH, UH, TUESDAY'S GIRL HAD ALREADY LEFT
FOR HER HOSTESSING JOB OR WHATEVER WHEN I CALLED,
SO I JUST SENT HER FLOWERS TO ME.
HEY, HAVE YOU TAKEN ANY MESSAGES FROM WALTER SINCE LUNCH?
MNH-MNH.
(sighs) MNH-MNH.
YOU NEED TO STOP ME FROM GOING TO SEE HENRY.
I WAS. TELL THAT TO MY FINGER.
MY FINGER WANTS ME TO PUSH THE BUTTON TO HENRY'S FLOOR.
IT WANTS ME TO GO TELL HIM THAT I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME TODAY.
OOH, CHEEKY FINGER.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
I'M TURNING INTO DANIEL, THAT'S WHAT.
SOON I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO JUGGLE PEOPLE'S HEARTS LIKE FRUIT
NUMBER ONE, YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE DANIEL,
AND NUMBER TWO, HE DOESN'T REALLY DO MUCH SLEEPING,
WHICH IS WHY HE LOSES EXPENSIVE JEWELRY
AND CAN'T REMEMBER WHO HE SHAGGED LAST MONDAY NIGHT.
WHAT?
ROSES. I HAVE TO GO.
WHAT?
YOU SENT YOURSELF FLOWERS.
YOU'RE MONDAY'S GIRL.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? COME BACK!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
WAS THIS ALL JUST ONE BIG JOKE TO YOU--
WATCHING ME RUN AROUND THE CITY IN A BUTTERFLY SUIT,
GETTING UNDERWEAR THROWN AT MY HEAD? ALL FOR LAUGHS?
DO I LOOK LIKE I'M LAUGHING?
WELL, THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING
IF YOU HAD THIS WATCH THE ENTIRE TIME?
WHY? MAYBE BECAUSE I WAS HOPING THAT MONDAY NIGHT
WAS THE ONE NIGHT OF THE WEEK YOUR BOSS WOULD REMEMBER.
STUPID ME, HUH?
DOES DANIEL KNOW THAT YOU FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT HIM?
OH, PLEASE. HE'S DANIEL MEADE. TAKE A NUMBER AND WAIT IN LINE.
I'M SURE HE FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU, TOO.
I MEAN, DON'T YOU TWO HAVE SOME KIND OF AGREEMENT?
YEAH, HE DATES ANYTHING THAT MOVES,
AND I AGREE TO SMILE AND TAKE THEIR MESSAGES.
AND NOW I'M SENDING THEM FLOWERS, TOO. (sniffles)
AMANDA, IF YOU KNEW WHO HE WAS, WHY DID YOU GET SO INVOLVED?
(sniffles) BECAUSE...
I THOUGHT HE WOULD GET SICK OF SERIAL DATING.
I SURE AS HELL AM.
AND WHAT IF HE DOESN'T?
HE WILL.
I'LL JUST WAIT.
HERE. GIVE THIS BACK TO HIM.
YOU CAN TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.
UNH-UNH.
NOPE, NOPE. MNH-MNH.
(exhales deeply) HEY. GUESS WHAT?
WHAT?
THIS NEVER HAPPENED.
I WANT THE TRUTH.
IS THIS A SIZE 4?
IT'S THE DESIGNERS.
THEY HAVE A CRUEL STREAK WHEN IT COMES TO... VOLUPTUOUS WOMEN.
I ATE IT.
CARLOTTA?
OOH! YES, IT'S A 4.
(groans)
(material rips)
OOH!
LET ME.
OH, LEAVE IT.
I CAN'T DENY IT ANYMORE. IT'S HAPPENED.
I'VE BECOME A WOMAN OF A CERTAIN AGE.
IF YOU GIVE ME 20 MINUTES, I COULD DO SOMETHING WITH PLEATS.
I-I SAID LEAVE IT. I'M NOT GONNA GO TO THAT RIDICULOUS PARTY.
I CAN'T COMPETE ANYMORE
WITH A BEVY OF 22-YEAR-OLD GYM BODIES.
I MEAN, YOU STARVE YOURSELF, YOU PULL YOURSELF,
YOU INJECT YOURSELF, YOU THINK YOU'RE SAFE,
BUT THEY KEEP COMING TO THE DOOR, YOUNGER AND YOUNGER
LIKE A HAIL OF BULLETS UNTIL DOWN YOU GO.
WHY IS IT SUCH A CRIME TO AGE IN THIS BUSINESS?
IT'S TRUE. THE STANDARDS FOR WOMEN ARE SO PUNITIVE.
AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? I SET THE STANDARDS.
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD. OH, THERE'S MY ACHIEVEMENT.
IT BIT ME IN THE *** AND THE HIPS.
(sighs) SERVES ME RIGHT, HUH?
THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. JUST SAY IT.
WELL, NO, UH, W-WHAT I WAS THINKING WAS THAT
YES, YOU DO SET THE STANDARDS.
YOU'RE WILHELMINA SLATER, FOR PETE'S SAKE.
WOMEN LOOK TO YOU FOR INSPIRATION,
AND WHEN YOU GO TO THAT BALL TONIGHT
WITH THAT YOUNG MAN OF YOURS, I GUARANTEE NO WOMAN IN AMERICA
TOMORROW MORNING WILL LEAVE HER HOUSE
WITHOUT A MAN TEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN HER.
FIVE YEARS.
A YEAR OR LESS. I DON'T KNOW.
ARE YOU... (clears throat) GONNA EAT THAT SANDWICH?
MM? OH, YEAH.
SO SHALL I, UH, SHALL I WORK MY MAGIC THEN? (whistles)
MMM.
WHAT'S ALL THAT?
JUST SOME OF THE TREASURES FROM MY DAY--
THINGS YOU LEFT SCATTERED ALL OVER NEW YORK CITY.
WHERE'S THE WATCH?
GOOD FOR YOU. SO WHICH ONE HAD IT?
DOES IT MATTER?
NO, NOT REALLY, I GUESS.
I DIDN'T THINK SO.
I SENT ROSES TO THOSE WOMEN.
AMANDA SENT THEM, YEAH.
AND YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
GO FROM ONE PERSON TO THE NEXT. FLIT, FLIT, FLIT.
BUT IF YOU THINK THAT NO ONE'S GETTING HURT, YOU'RE WRONG.
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED FROM ME?
NO. NO. THAT'LL BE ALL.
BETTY, YOU KNOW I'VE HAD A ROUGH WEEK.
I GOT A LOT ON MY MIND.
I KNOW.
I JUST HOPE YOU THAT YOU DEAL WITH THAT
MORE DIRECTLY THAN YOU HANDLED THIS.
(gasps)
HAIL TO THE QUEEN. SHE LIVES. SHE BREATHES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE DéCOLLETAGE?
TOO MUCH CLEAVAGE?
I'D SAY... NOT ENOUGH.
JASON. HMM, ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP.
I DON'T LIKE TO BE KEPT WAITING. HO--HOLD IT.
YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BE SEEN WITH AN OLD BROAD LIKE ME?
WELL, A MINUTE YOUNGER,
AND I'D HAVE TO RIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF RIGHT HERE.
NICE BROWS.
OH. THANK YOU.
HI. I AM SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU, BUT NICO...
GOT THE MESSAGES. CAN'T RETURN THEM.
WE'RE LATE FOR AN ENGAGEMENT.
IS HERE.
HI, MOM.
WHOA. YOU'RE HER... MOTHER?
WHAT CAN I SAY?
RULE NUMBER ONE, NEVER BUY YOUR MISTRESS AND YOUR WIFE
THE SAME CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
I KNOW HOW YOU MUST FEEL ABOUT ME, DANIEL,
AND I'M TRULY, TRULY SORRY ABOUT FEY. I AM.
I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO KEEP YOU FROM GETTING HURT.
AND MOM? WHAT ABOUT HER FEELINGS?
I WAS CARELESS AND STUPID, AND FEY WOULDN'T QUIT.
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE MY MISTRESS.
SHE WANTED TO BE A MEADE.
IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?
I DON'T KNOW, DAD.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME?
TELL YOU WHAT?
THAT I LOVED HER?
'CAUSE I DID.
MORE THAN MOM?
I DON'T KNOW.
MORE THAN ALL THE OTHERS, FOR SURE.
OTHERS?
MANY, MANY OTHERS.
WHO DO YOU THINK IS MAKING THESE MYSTERIOUS PHONE CALLS?
WHO DO YOU THINK SENT YOU THIS?
EX-LOVERS, YEAH. OUT FOR REVENGE.
WHICH ONE I COULDN'T SAY, BUT I DESERVE IT.
I DESERVE MUCH WORSE.
NOT FOR KILLING FEY-- THAT I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH--
BUT FOR BEING A LOUSY HUSBAND
AND AN EVEN LOUSIER FATHER.
IF I CAN'T TEACH YOU BY MY EXAMPLE,
LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.
STOP SCREWING AROUND. SETTLE DOWN, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
(elevator bell dings)
HI.
HI.
DOWN?
(elevator bell dings)
I WAS GONNA CALL.
NO, IT, UH, YOU WERE SAYING?
I JUST-- I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS.
THANKS? WHAT, FOR GIVING YOU THE MOST STRESSFUL LUNCH EVER?
FIRST I MAKE YOU EAT SLIMY SEA MONSTERS,
AND THEN I GET YOU IN MAJOR TROUBLE WITH--
IT'S OKAY. THAT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
HEY, HOW'S THAT GUY WHO ATE ALL THAT HONEY?
NOT GREAT.
THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO MAKE THE BEER RUN INSTEAD OF HIM.
WE'RE HAVING A PARTY UP ON 25 WITH HUMAN RESOURCES
IF YOU'RE FREE?
OH. I'M, UH... WELL, I-I'D LOVE TO GO, HENRY, BUT...
UH, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
YEAH. YEAH, I DO, AND--AND I REALLY WANT
TO GIVE THIS THING WITH WALTER AND ME A CHANCE AND...
THAT--IS THAT THE GUY? WITH THE NET?
OH.
I'M NOT ALWAYS LIKE THAT. I SHOULD'VE NEVER...
I'M SORRY.
NAH. NO WORRIES. JUST LUNCH.
(elevator bell dings)
TRICK OR TREAT, NYMPHALIS MILBERTI.
(elevator bell dings)
HEY, YOU OUTTA HERE?
I GUESS.
HUMAN RESOURCES AND ACCOUNTING ARE HAVING A PARTY DOWNSTAIRS,
SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT STOP BY AND DRINK ALL THEIR ***.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
HALLOWEEN BALL?
NO. NOT, UH, NOT IN THE MOOD.
YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME, THOUGH.
OOH.
(elevator bell dings)
HEY, UM, IF YOU GET TIRED
OF WATCHING "CHARLIE BROWN AND THE GREAT PUMPKIN" ALONE,
I COULD... COME OVER AND KEEP YOU COMPANY...
IN COSTUME... OR NOT.
I THINK... I JUST NEED TO BE ALONE TONIGHT.
(elevator bell dings)
HEY! WE COULD JUST TALK.
PROBABLY NOT.
(elevator bell dings)
(children laugh)
JUSTIN. JUSTIN, STOP ALREADY.
THERE IS NO TWIRLING IN THE ARMED FORCES.
THAT KID. WE'RE GONNA GET NO CANDY THIS YEAR.
SO I GUESS YOU TWO NEED TO TALK.
I DON'T NEED TO TALK. MAYBE SHE NEEDS TO TALK.
OKAY. WHATEVER.
AHEM. LICORICE?
JUSTIN HATES IT.
(children) TRICK OR TREAT.
YOU GOT ANY RAISINS?
OTHER POCKET.
I'M SORRY I WENT TO LUNCH.
THE KEY WAS... TOO FAST?
YEAH, A LITTLE.
I PUSHED YOU. DAMN IT.
"CARPE DIEM, VIRGO. SEIZE THE DAY."
NEVER TRUST THE HOROSCOPE IN THE "DAILY NEWS."
IT'S JUST THAT--WELL, WE JUST STARTED DATING AGAIN, YOU KNOW?
I KNOW. I KNOW. AND IF YOU DON'T WANNA EVEN DO THAT I--
NO, I DO.
SO YOU AND, UH, SUSHI MAN?
JUST YOU.
BECAUSE SUSHI IS EXCITING, I KNOW.
EVEN IF IT IS CRAWLING WITH PARASITES.
(chuckles)
SUSHI'S GOOD, YEAH.
BUT SO IS A NICE SLICE OF PIZZA.
(children) TRICK OR TREAT.
SO MY KID SHOWS UP. LAST THING I NEED.
YOU CAN DO MIRACLES TO HIDE YOUR OWN AGE,
BUT BE DAMNED IF YOU CAN HIDE THEIRS.
SO YOU DIDN'T TAKE THIS, UH, JASON TO THE PARTY?
NO, I TOOK HIM TO THE ELEVATOR.
TOLD HIM TO GO BACK TO HIS FRAT HOUSE AND BOB FOR APPLES.
WHAT ABOUT BRADFORD AND HIS SON?
WELL, MARC TOLD ME HE SAW DANIEL COMING OUT OF BRADFORD'S OFFICE.
ALL SEEMED WELL.
WHATEVER BRADFORD SAID TO DANIEL PUT HIM OFF HIS TRAIL.
THAT'S DISAPPOINTING.
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR FEY SOMMERS TO COME OUT OF SECLUSION.
(ghoulish voice) I SMELL FRESH BLOOD.
(laughs evilly)
DAD, ADD MORE CORN SYRUP. YOU'RE CLOTTING.
YOU, UM... GOING OUT WITH WALTER?
YEAH. I JUST WANTED TO COME HOME FIRST AND CHANGE.
NO MORE BUTTERFLY, HUH?
NO. YOU KNOW, IT IS EXHAUSTING BEING A BUTTERFLY.
HMM. IS THAT TRUE?
MM-HMM. IT'S JUST SOMETHING I KNOW.
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I SHOULD KNOW?
RIGHT. OF COURSE.
I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU.
I'VE BEEN USING
SOMEONE ELSE'S SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER FOR YEARS.
'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ONE.
YOU CAN'T GET ONE IF YOU'RE IN THIS COUNTRY ILLEGALLY.
AND I AM.
(doorbell rings)
(children) TRICK OR TREAT.
(ring)