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"Cope has had to pay €200,000 to Barça for doping accusations."
"Oh, my son! Accusing without proof is a sin!
But you can sort it out by praying an Our Father... and paying a fine!"
"And that's why we need you to collaborate."
COPE CHARITY CAMPAIGN aginst the lack of resources to pay fines
"Thank you very much. We really know what getting in a jam is."
"That's right, Josep. Newspaper As photoshopped a player out of a picture to prove Alves was offside."
"And Punto Pelota sent in L'Hospitalet President to find out if Guardiola will renew."
"But we're paying dearly for having no qualms!
Therefore, besides the spirit of Juanito, we appeal to your spirit of solidarity."
"If you wanna earn your place in heaven and don't wanna stop listening to the nonsense, contribute to the cause."
"Go and call! Go and call! Go and call!
Yes? Sure? It's Alfons Godall.
He says during Laporta presidency there was 'Villarato'." "Villarato! Villarato! Villarato! Villarato!"
"With all collected funds we could pay a journalism course to learn how to verify information."
"No, how boring! And what about the show?" "The show of discrediting Barça, of course."
"Do you feel like making a show?" "Yes!"
"Piqué is wearing a non-designer sweater." Fine: €250
"Messi has three nipples." Fine: €5,000
"Sandro Rosell and the Russian mafia..." Fine: €1,000,000 "Stop! Stop!"
"What's the matter?" "We haven't enough money."
"If you want us to keep on slandering..." "Call now."
"Calling now! Calling now! Calling now! Calling now!"
"We want more money to keep on slandering! We want more money to keep on slandering!" "Very well, very well. But where is the boys' choir?"
"I think the song would sound better, wouldn't it?"